Tape over my Paper Heart
by bekins
Summary: Thought I would try out a Jasper/Carlisle cause there aren't too many. Basically Esme leaves Carlisle broken will the family and one Major in particular be able to put him back together stronger and better then ever? First attempt at Slash!
1. Prologue

I sat looking over the scene before me with disgust. From my perch in the tree several miles away I had the perfect view of the couple. I almost felt bad spying for a minute but then I got a bead on the emotions flowing from the pair and couldn't bring myself to leave.

Thoughts can be hidden, and blocked. Futures are ever changing with the whims of person making the decisions. But emotions, those, can't be faked or hidden. Emotions are pure, and unavoidable. Be it happiness, joy, sadness, lust, love, lies, or deceit. Deceit that was a emotion that had been all to prevalent with this couple, and it made me sick to think about. How one can so blatantly lie to the other. Claim to love, claim to be faithful, claim to be devoted, if only he knew. If only I could tell him. So sweet and innocent, never a negative emotion from him. Loyal almost to a fault, loving and true. He didn't deserve what she was putting him through.

Decades of lies were soon going to come to a head, and it would either destroy him, or help him open up to true love. I was hoping the later would be the case and I would do anything within my power to see that come to fruition. I had been told for years to be patient, that matters of the heart must run their course, that my time would come. I was tired of waiting.

I continued to watch as she rebuffed his attempts at intimacy and affection. How anyone can deny him the affection he so desperately seeks, has been craving, and has been constantly denied for months, is completely unfathomable to me. I have watched on for months as his will has been beat down by the constant denial of his "mate", till he is barley a shell of the confident man I meet almost 70 years ago. Of course the others are unaware of the extent of the damage that is being caused, but like I said emotions can't be hidden. He puts on a great act. Perfected over centuries of living. I just pray(ironic I know) that he isn't broken beyond repair when the shit finally hit's the fan.

I was so lost in my musing that I barely noticed I was no longer alone.

"Soon, Jasper, just be patient a bit longer." My pseudo wife begged of me placing her hand on my shoulder.

The truth was that we have never been married, or romantically involved for that matter. Like everything else in this life, it was all for show. The family was none the wiser. Yes she found me, and saved me, like we had always claimed. That was not a lie, but she was my best friend, sister, confidant, never a lover. She knew from the first day what I was, and who I was destined to be with. Though in our three year prior to joining the Cullen's she would not tell me who this person was. She only said that it would be difficult, but in the end worth it. I had to trust her. The second we met the Cullen family I knew who she had seen. I also knew why she didn't tell me, it was going to be a long few decades.

"I know Alice, this is just killing me. I can feel him becoming more depressed, and despondent everyday." She laid her head on my shoulder wrapping he small arms around my waist to hug me.

"I know Jazz, but something's have been set in motion in the last few days that are pushing up the time line. It will happen sooner then you think. Just don't push." I sighed heavily and ran my hands through my hair, a trait I had picked up from Edward and him in the years we had been in the family. My training as a soldier has given me impeccable patience, but this testing even my restraint.

"Come on Jazz lets go hunt. The next few days are going to be intense."

One last glance back to the clearing where he now stood alone and dejected yet again I nearly crumpled under the weight of his despairing emotions.

_Soon my Carlisle. _I thought as I pushed waves of contentment towards my love. I jumped from my perch and joined Alice as she ran in the opposite direction.


	2. Chapter 1

Opps I forgot my disclaimer last time, you all know I own nothing!

Also some quick notes.  
1. I know some people will be upset about how Esme is in this story. I love Esme as much as the next person but for the purposes of this story she is going to be very OOC!  
2. The whole Edward leaving Bella thing didn't happen. No baby, no drama like that.  
3. No wolves maybe in passing but they will not play a large role in this story.  
4. We are currently in Forks, but will soon be moving since Bella was just recently changed.  
So on with the show!

Chapter 1:

CPOV:

I lost her. I don't know exactly when but I know I did. It has been months since we had had a civilized conversation, years since we had touched, and God knows how long since we had been intimate. I just couldn't understand what I had done to cause this to happen.

We had just finished hunting and giving into the primal urges that go along with hunting I felt the need to release another side of the primal urges. Hoping that maybe after such a dry spell she would be more open to my advances I dropped the deer carcass on the mossy forest floor and stalked toward my new prey. Her back was turned toward me as she straightened out her clothing after her feeding. Just as I was about to pounce she held up her hand stopping me mid-stride. Without even looking at me she spoke:

"Don't even think about it Carlisle!" She huffed and something flashed on her face as she finally turned that I couldn't be bothered to try and place as the knife of rejection pierced my dead stone heart again.

"Esme, I miss you, I just.." I trailed off running my hand through my hair exacerbated not really knowing how to express what I needed from her. I need something, an acknowledgment that she was still in this with me, even though my head told me otherwise, my heart refused to believe it. My heart refused to see the signs for what they were, the slow and painful death of my marriage. It was the emotional equivalent to the burning that came with being turned. But this slow painful burning of my heart has gone on for years instead of mere days. I had been waiting for the final ax to fall, so to speak. I could feel it coming and was at a lose as to what to do to stop it.

"Carlisle, I just don't feel like it right now, I'm dirty from hunting and want to get home clean up and work on the new house plans." She made the move to leave the clearing we had hunted in when I grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"You never feel like doing anything with me anymore, why won't you talk to me, touch me, even look at me for God sake!" I was barely containing my frustration and desperation at this point. I have never lost control before, I was always the consummate gentleman that I was raised to be, but I was slowly losing my grip on the little control I had left.

"I don't know!" She yelled back at me. I knew she was lying at this point.

"That's bull shit and you know it!" I could see the shock on her face. I never used foul language.

"What do you want me to say Carlisle, I just need some time to work stuff out." She was pleading with me now.

"Work what out? Why do you keep pushing me away? Over 80 years we have been together, what did I do. Please tell me so I can fix it!" I was about one step away from groveling and it wasn't a pretty sight, but what else could I do?

"You didn't do anything Carlisle. Maybe that's the problem. I don't know. I just feel like something is off and missing. I can't tell you how to fix it because I don't know myself."

"What do you mean maybe that's the problem? What is it you want me to do? I just want to understand."

"See that's the thing, you always want to understand and dissect everything. Find out how it works, if its broken fix it. Why can't you just leave it be stop trying to fix it and just back off for a bit." Was she serious right now of course I want to fix it.

"I assumed that going years without touching and lord knows how long with out being together, was enough time for you to figure out what you needed. I thought that months without conversation would be giving you enough space." My anger right now was quickly replacing my desperation. This was not a side of myself that I was used to letting out.

A look of anger flashed on her face as it distorted into a barely recognizable form of the beautiful face I had fallen for so many years ago.

"Screwing, Carlisle, its called screwing, or fucking, or having sex! God you can't even say the words. I don't know what to tell you, there is just something missing. Something I am not sure you will ever be able to give me. I want passion, and romance and sometimes a good old fashioned fuck! But no, your always so proper!"

I was openly gapping at her. I had never heard this sweet women speak to anyone, let alone me this way. I was at a loss for what to say or do. How do you even defend yourself against something that's true. I have never had the burning passion that I see in Rosalie and Emmett's relationship. I just always assumed that it was the time I was brought up in. Those things were never discussed, never openly addressed, especially not with a women.

Esme put her hand on mine on her wrist and I felt a hope start to stir. That was until she lifted my hand off her and dropped it so it fell at my side.

"I can't do this right now. I will see you back at the house." With out even a glance back at me she was out of sight. I just stood there watching her retreating form. I knew now that there was never going to be anything that could fix this. It was to far gone. With that thought I fell to the ground clutching my chest as the pain ripped through me.

* * *

After several minutes of laying on the forest floor I felt a strange sense of resolve and contentment wash over me. I resigned myself to head back home for the evening. Running towards the house I made sure to put on my carefully constructed façade. I was the leader of this family I would not allow myself to show the weakness I was feeling.

As I approached the house I listen for a moment to try and get a feel for who was home. Edward would have gone to Bella's for the evening. Her time as a human was slowly winding down and she was spending as much time with her father as possible. I heard Emmett in the game room yelling at whatever ridiculous game he happened to be addicted to at the moment. Rose was probably off filing her nails or looking at herself in the mirror. I couldn't sense Alice anywhere so she was probably either shopping or hunting. My guess would be hunting because I also couldn't get a feel for Jasper in the house so they probably went together. Must be nice to have a mate that actually wants to be with you. I rolled my eyes at myself my thoughts did not need to go there.

I entered the house and made my way up to my study to go over some patient files to start to tie up some lose ends preparing for the move. We will be going to a remote location in Montana for Bella's newborn years. Less chance of a slip up when there are no people around. Esme had found house by Yellowstone, there would be plenty of big game and enough land to ensure the safety of everyone.

I poured over my files for hours before my eyes grew tired from looking at the same thing. I moved to stretch my neck muscles, even though they didn't need it, it was a habit I had picked up working around humans for so long. My palms were rubbing at my eyes for awhile trying get some lubrication back into them. When I moved my hands my eyes landed on a family photo that had been taken several years ago. Esme had just started acting weird and I had yet to notice the profound changes taking place.

I picked up the picture to study it closer. There was a distant and disconnected look on Esme's face. How did I not see this all sooner. Maybe if I had seen the signs earlier I could have done something to stop the downward spiral of my relationship. I studied the faces of the other family members. Emmett had his arms around Rose, she was staring at him with love in her eyes. He was the only on that could really ever get a reaction out of her besides anger or vanity. Edward just looked bored, but then again this was a pre Bella picture so I guess he probably was. I could practically see Alice vibrating much like she does in real life. Only she could portray that much energy in a mere picture. I looked at the last family member, Jasper, his hand was on Alice's shoulder. What caught my attention was not the lack of intimacy in their pose but the fact that he seemed to be looking at something other the his wife in the picture. I couldn't place exactly what he might be looking at and I was interrupted from further inspection by my office door being slammed open.

I looked up to see the women who I had thought to be my soul mate for year standing before me. I watched as she strode into the office with purpose.

"I can't do this anymore Carlisle." Wow way to cut to the chase I scoffed in my mind.

"What exactly can't you do anymore?" I bit out with more acid in my voice then I intended. Hey if she didn't want to be civil anymore so be it.

"This sham of a marriage. Your not what I want anymore. Haven't been for quite sometime. I am leaving. I don't know what I am looking for exactly but I know its not here. I have played house long enough. I'm done." Even though I had seen this coming for the last few months it still hurt, suddenly I was hit with the urge to fight for what I believed to be my mate.

"Please, love, don't do this. We were happy, in love, we can be again. Maybe if we went away for awhile…" I trailed off looking in her face hoping to see a softening there but only saw the determination. "Please Esme, you are my soul mate, my life."

"I'm not Carlisle, I'm sorry I just can't pretend anymore. I don't love you." The pain of those words shot through me like a poison flowing through my veins. It was one thing to see your marriage ending but to hear the words actually spoken was another thing entirely. I had no words yet again. All the confidence I exuded in my professional life crumbled under the weight of those words. I just stared at her.

"Goodbye Carlisle. I hope that we both find the love we are looking for. I am sorry." And with that she was gone out of my life.

I collapsed in my leather chair utterly dumbfounded. What do I do now.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So every chapter I am hoping to switch points of view between Carlisle and Jasper. Also this will not be one of those stories where they get over the person they have been with for 80 plus years and fall in love in a week or two. It will be a developing relationship. Don't worry there will still be plenty of drama and C/J interaction. **

**Also I want the chapters to be longer, so I will probably only update about once a week so that I can get some good content and length in them. Everyone likes long chapters right!?**

**Well as always I own nada, I just make them dance, dance monkey dance! Good monkey! No don't spank the monkey, yet, bad monkey!**

**JPOV**

"Jasper stop taunting the poor thing and just eat it already!" Alice called from the out cropping of rocks she had situated herself on. She giggle as the bear I was playing with swiped at me and caught my shirt. Damn I actually liked that one!

"Thanks for distracting me! I liked that shirt!" Getting bored and agitated with the game I jumped on the bears back and sank my teeth into the thick hide and into the vein to procure its warm life source. Humming in pleasure as the warm liquid hit the back of my throat I drank greedily.

"Damn, husband of mine, if you weren't gay I would be all over you. That's sexy as hell!" Alice's voice cut through my blood induced haze. Yes I know our relationship is all kinds of fucked up but I love the little troll. What kind of women stays married to a guy, even if its all for show, know that he is gay and not attracted to you. She truly is one of a kind.

I owe Alice so much. Not just for finding me and showing me a different way to survive that didn't involve killing innocents. But for accepting me and helping me to accept myself. I wasn't always so open about my orientation.

"Well wifey I am just that good, I can make decapitation sexy!" She snorted and started to say something when her eyes glazed over and I knew she was having a vision. After a few minutes she snapped out of it.

"Well?" She got a distressed look on her face before jumping down from the rock she was sitting on.

"It happened. We need to go back to the house. Its going to be a rough couple of days." I knew what she was referring to immediately. Esme had finally snapped and so starting the chain of events that would hopefully lead me to my soul mates arms.

"Jasper, I know that you know this, but you have to try to keep your enthusiasm to a minimum, remember he is mourning the loss of the person he thought was his soul mate."

"I know this Alice. I am just going to be there and support him and let things run their course like you have been pounding into my head for decades."

"Good boy, now lets go support daddy dearest!" I groaned she knows I hate it when she calls him that, he so aint my daddy!

"Alice, I have never seen him as daddy, and that thought is just all kinds of disturbing." She winked at me and grabbed my hand as we took off towards the house.

* * *

As we approached I reached out to feel the emotions inside. This was not going to be pleasant at all. I could feel mass amounts of anger, defensiveness, resolve, and disbelief. What surprised me the most was that none of these emotions were coming from Carlisle, from him I was getting nothing. He wasn't doing anything to block me it was just like he didn't have any emotions, he was just numb, and that was very disconcerting.

I shot a look at Alice as we made our way into the house. The chaos that was before us was surreal. Couches were overturned, the glass coffee table had been shattered, and the throw rug was shredded. Rose had Esme by the throat against the far glass wall. Emmett was trying to pry them apart with out causing damage to either one, and Carlisle was in his office in his numbed state completely unaware of the turmoil in the house. Doesn't look like he will be down to stop the madness like he normally would. Guess this is on me. I pushed out as much calm as I could muster in my current state. With the false calm floating around Rose started to loosen her hold on Esme allowing Emmett to pry them apart all the way with out causing any harm.

"What the hell is going on here!" I bellowed out feigning ignorance.

"Ask the tramp!" Rose screeched making to lunge for Esme again but being held firmly in place by Emmett. I sent out another wave of calm and got a grateful look from Esme that I wanted to bitch slap off her face! If she was looking for an ally in this she was barking up the wrong tree. Turning to Esme I asked the question I already knew the answer too.

"Esme, what is the meaning of all this?" I was gritting my teeth trying to keep my own anger in check. Yes I was happy that she was going to finally be out of the picture but was pissed that it had to break Carlisle in the process. But Alice assured me that he would come out of this stronger and more full of life. I had to trust her once again.

"Well, Jasper, I have decided to leave the family. I feel like I am missing something and need to find it on my own." While I couldn't fault her for that I knew there was so much more to the story. About this time Edward and Bella decided to show up for the day.

"What the hell." Edward looked like he was going to spontaneously combust trying to catch up on all the thoughts running through everyone's minds. For this reason I made sure to keep mine in check. After a few minutes his face snapped to Esme.

_Oh shit, here it comes! _

"Esme, how could you!! Its one thing to leave to find yourself but to cheat!!" Edward was all but screaming in her face at this point. Apparently not all of us were as good at hiding our thoughts while under pressure. Suddenly in a woosh of air Carlisle was in the room.

"You WHAT!" He look like a man possessed. It was one thing for her to want to go out and find passion and romance but to hear that she had already started the process while still with him I guess was entirely another.

Esme looked down at least having the decency to look ashamed even if she wasn't feeling it.

"I'm sorry, it just happened."

"It just happened, IT JUST HAPPENED. Bad hair cuts just happen, buying an ugly sweater just happens, getting the wrong kind of shampoo just happens! Cheating on your husband DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN. " The look on his face was devastating. Rose was growling and to my surprise Edward was as well. He was about as much of a pacifist as Carlisle. But then again, his father, mentor, and creator, was hurting immensely. Bella and Emmett were just watching the scene unfold wide eyed.

"I don't really feel like I need to defend my actions. I'm not ashamed of what I did. I was finally doing something for me." Suddenly a fire shot into Carlisle's eyes and he exploded!

"DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!! EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DONE HAS BEEN FOR YOU! EVERY PLACE WE HAVE EVER MOVED, EVERY CONVERSATION, EVERY FUCK, ALL OF IT WAS ABOUT YOU!! ALL ON YOUR TIME LINE, NEVER WHEN I WANTED OR NEEDED IT!" I don't even think he realized that he had punched a hole in the wall in his rage. Is it weird that the rant had me slightly turned on? Edward shot me a look and I realized I had lost control of my thoughts for a moment. _Shit! _

_Edward please, don't say anything lets deal with this first then I will explain things. _  
My thoughts were pleading. He nodded and turned his attention back to the train wreck before us.

Esme was now screaming back at him with fury.

"MAYBE IF YOU CARED HALF AS MUCH ABOUT ME AS YOU DO YOUR PATIENTS DOCTOR," she sneered out the word doctor like it was the vilest word in the English language. "I MIGHT NOTHAVE FELT SO NEGLECTED AND SOUGHT THE ARMS OF A MORE ATTENTIVE LOVER!" She sneered at him. This caused everyone in the room to growl, even Bella though it wasn't quite as impressive as a vampire growl but it's the thought that counts right? She wasn't just betraying Carlisle, although he was the one that would feel its effects the most, they were all losing something.

In that instant the fight went out of Carlisle, and he fell to his knees, and my hate and rage for Esme grew. How dare she blame him for HER infidelity! Carlisle just knelt there with his head hanging in shame. I was about to explode at her when Edward of all people beat me to it.

"HOW DARE YOU BLAME HIM FOR YOU POOR MORAL CHOICES!" He paused for a minute and continued more calmly. "If you were unhappy you should have talked to him, try and work stuff out, not run to the closet dick you could find to bounce on!" My jaw must have hit the floor with the surprise at hearing those words come out of Mr. Prim and Proper. He even beat Carlisle in the prude area most of the time. Bella really has loosened him up.

"She like's dirty talk." He answered my inner musings then winked at me. That is just creepy. But it gave me hope that he would except the future Alice had envisioned now that he wasn't being such a stick up the ass. The rest of the family was confused at this exchange we just shook it off getting back on task.

"Look this is my decision and I am leaving. I am sorry I hurt you all but this isn't what I want and haven't wanted in a long while." Rose snorted and looked at her.

"You should have left then instead of pretending to care. Now get the HELL out!" She roared.

With one last look around Esme grabbed her suitcases and flew out the door without a second glance. Alice, Rose, and Bella were all around Carlisle holding onto him while he just stared into space. How I wish it could be me holding him. _SHIT!_ I did it again. I looked over at Edward and he just mouthed the word 'later' at me. I nodded in affirmation.

Emmett, Edward, and I just watched as the girls tried to talk Carlisle out of his trance with little to no luck. He was feeling the numbness again and it was killing me. I walked over to them and bent down to his level looking into his lifeless golden orbs.

"Carlisle," I tried to get a response, "I know this hurts but don't cut yourself off right now. Let us help you, please." I pleaded needing some sort of response from him. He blinked at me a few times and the anguish I saw I saw there made me almost prefer the empty look. He fell into my arms and started shaking with sobs. The rest of the family joined us on the floor. Alice next to me as I held Carlisle. Rose and Emmett sitting in front of us clinging on to each other, and Edward and Bella on the other side of Carlisle, Bella in Edwards lap. No one really knew what to say or do at this point but just being here for support was enough. There would be time for word's and anger later, time for us all to learn new love, and time for all of us to open up and redefine our out look on life and passion. But for now we mourned. The loss of lover, a mother, a friend, and what we thought was a member of this family.

After several hours on the floor Bella announced that she needed a human moment causing us all to chuckle, except Carlisle, who was still locked in his own mind. I decided to move him to his one of the guest rooms. I didn't think that he would appreciate being in the room he shared with the harpy and the living room was destroyed so moving him to a couch was out. I didn't like leaving him in this state but I knew that we all needed to talk.

I went down to join the rest of the family in the living room where we started to try and clean up the mess. Bella was in the kitchen getting some food while the rest of us just wondered around picking stuff up. Suddenly Rose stopped what she was doing and I could feel waves of anger and rejection coming off her. I looked over to where she was and saw her holding a framed photo in her hands. Peeking over her shoulder I saw it was a family portrait that we had taken the day after Edward said he would change Bella. The day we all, except Alice and I, thought our family had finally been completed. I placed my hand on her shoulder to try and calm her when the picture suddenly disappeared from her hands and was followed by the sound of breaking glass. She had thrown it out the window.

Esme and Rose had been close. Rose had considered her a mother for almost 60 years and with her past the fear of rejection and abandonment was going to make this particularly hard on her. Once her anger dissipated I assumed depression would soon follow.

"I don't want any reminder of her in this house any more!" She seethed. I just squeezed her shoulder in understanding.

"Does anyone know how long this has been going on?" Emmett inquired picking up shards of glass. Bella appeared at the door to the living room not wanting to enter and get cut with the glass that was everywhere but wanting to be apart of the conversation. Edward went over and lifted her in his arms and we all sat on the floor again, Bella in Edwards lap to avoid ass splinters. Edward quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Ass splinter's, really?" He asked as he kissed Bella on the cheek.

"What? What else would you call it, slivers of glass that could embed in her ass, ass splinters." Wasn't that obvious?

"Is that a technical term?" He asked me.

I flipped him the bird and laughed a bit.

"Ok well now that we know what would happen to my ass if I didn't have a lap to sit in can we please get back on point. Not all of us here have buns of steel ya know." We laughed at that.

After a few minutes of light banter to ease the tension I sighed knowing the time had come for Alice and I to let them know what we have known for decades. This could end badly.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So sorry I am going to be a little harsh about the whole affair thing. That is one of the things that I really can't stand is people cheating on someone. If your so unhappy that you have to cheat then just LEAVE! I have had family members who have been decimated by a cheating spouse it's not pretty. Not that I am judging anyone and their life choices cause we all have our issues but its one of my pet peeves. Ok I am off the soap box now! Enjoy!**

**I own zilch!**

**CPOV:**

I don't remember much after I started hearing all the commotion in the living room. I knew that I should get downstairs to help diffuse the situation but I just didn't have it in me at that point. Then I remember hearing that not only was my mate leaving me but that she had been cheating on me. That hurt like a million razor blades cutting me to pieces. I mean I could understand if she didn't love me any more and wanted to go find herself but who does that to someone they claim to love. I was out of my chair and running down the stairs before I had time to even realize I was doing it, it was like I was having an out of body experience. I didn't even know that was possible for a vampire. So many emotions were warring within me. The shear agony of the betrayal of someone you trusted your heart, and life too was daunting.

I vaguely remember yelling, but that can't be right I never lose my temper. I don't think I have ever yelled at anyone. I may also have punched a hole in the wall. That actually kind of felt a little good. File that away to explore later. I had too many new feeling's to decipher them all right now. When she blamed me for not being attentive an basically pushing her into the arms of another all the fight went out of me and I crumpled to my knees. I couldn't fight her anymore because she was right. I had always put patients first. It was my way for atoning for the sin's in my life. My penance for taking the souls of 5 people and damning them to this existence. It was my absolution for my selfishness, and in the end it ended up hurting me worse then helping me. I couldn't even keep my soul mate happy. I had failed at the most important relationship I had been entrusted with.

I had no idea at this point what was going on around me, or how long I was kneeling there staring into space. I could feel people around me but the fog would not clear. I couldn't fight my way through it until I heard the voice…

"Carlisle," Someone was pleading with me, "I know this hurts but don't cut yourself off right now. Let us help you, please." I locked onto the honey glazed eyes that were begging with me and broke into sobs landing into the strong arms in front of me. I don't know how long I lay sobbing in this persons arms. I knew it had to be a family member but couldn't place it. I inhaled and was instantly calmed by the scent that filled me. It was Jasper. I could feel the rest of the family around us. I remember hearing someone mention a human moment, and felt myself being shifted. A few seconds later I was being placed on a bed, I could tell from the smell that it wasn't mine for which I was grateful. I felt eyes on me for a brief minute before the click of the door informed me I was alone with my thoughts.

I started to think back on my life thus far, trying to pin point how I could have failed so miserably. I was trying to see if I could locate one instance in time where I could have chosen another path that would have my love still by my side and happy. I knew I was occupied with my work, but the more though about it, I honestly didn't think it caused me to neglect my wife enough to warrant her cheating on me.

Then again there was a whole other side to her that the rest of the family had never seen. Maybe she had been too broken when I changed her. Maybe the fact that she was trying to end her life should have clued me in that something wasn't right. I thought it was just due to the fact the she was distraught from losing her child. But over the decades certain parts of her personality would come through that would make me wonder. There were times when she was unnecessarily cruel to me, and lashed out.

Once on our 50th wedding anniversary I had wanted to get away with just the two of us. So we went to New York. I had wanted to see some shows and sight see and be a normal young couple for a few days. When we got to the hotel I had candle's waiting with hundreds of flowers through out the room. I had even made the effort to bring packets of animal blood to use in the wine glasses. My own version of wining and dinning my wife. The second we hit the room she was out the door again telling me she wanted to get some shopping in. When she came back she informed me that she wasn't "in the mood." She spent the entire week shopping and basically avoiding me.

As I laid thinking about our relationship for God knows how long. I was hit with memory upon memory of times I had tried to be the ideal romantic husband. Sure I may not have talked about my feelings or the passion I felt for her. But I at least tried to show her. Leaving her flowers, or notes. In the later years text messages. I always tried to suggest weekends or time away but she would say she didn't want to be away from the family that long. How could I have been so blind?

I knew it was going to take time to get over this. But with the help of my family I would. I would not doubt in this darkness what I had been taught in the light. I know that we are all refined by trials of fire and if we don't burn in the process we come out on the other side stronger and better for it. I had to believe that.

I could hear the family moving around downstairs but I just couldn't bring myself to join them yet. I was allowed some time to wallow and be numb after all my 80 year marriage just crumbled before my eyes. I did however listen to what was going on. I bolted upright on the bed when I heard shattering glass which was followed closely by Rose sneering about not wanting her in the house anymore. Not really sure what that was about. I laid back down and continued to listen as they cleaned in almost silence. My ears perked up when I heard Emmett ask if anyone knew how long this had been going on. A question I honestly wasn't sure I wanted answered.

After some light banter that I couldn't help but chuckle at, that's unexpected, I heard someone sigh. I am assuming that I am not going to like this answer.

It was Alice who proceeded to tell them what she knew.

_"It has been going on for several years."_ She confirmed. There was a sudden upheaval.

_"Why the hell didn't you say anything?"_ Emmett yelled in response.

_"If you would calm down I will explain."_

I heard the tale tell signs of a hand hitting the back of a head.

_"Sorry, I'll try not to interrupt again."_

_"Thank you Em. Anyway, I didn't say anything because matters of the heart need to take their natural course. If I had tried to interfere earlier then it would have been detrimental to the future I currently see."_

What future did she currently see?

_"What future do you currently see?"_

Thank you Edward.

_"I can't tell you that. Like I said everything has to play out its natural course. If I see any danger or issues you know that I will tell you all. But at this point we just have to wait it out."_

I could understand that. Alice didn't like to reveal futures preferring for us to go our own course unless it was going to cause harm or danger to come to the family. I tuned in to my children in the living room again.

_"Jasper are you going to tell me what was going on with your thoughts earlier, they were….interesting."_ Edward must have seen something in his thoughts about the current situation. Of course Jasper would know more, being mated with the psychic had its advantages.

_"Edward now is not the time, I will tell you later."_ Wow that was cryptic something else he picked up from his wife I am sure. She was always doing that elusive creepy stuff. Edward must have answered none verbally cause there was a long pause of silence.

_"So what do we do now?"_ Bella asked. I couldn't wait for her to join us. She made Edward so happy and thank whatever God was out there that he had loosened up considerable in the last 2 years she had been in our life. Vampires don't change often but she had thoroughly changed him. They truly were my children.

When I had changed Edward I was so lonely for companionship of any kind so my selfish nature took over. For the longest time I had started to regret it has he got more and more despondent and lonely. Then finally after a hundred years he found his soul mate and I could no longer feel bad about damning him to this life. I was meant to turn him for he was meant to be with Bella.

The only one who I didn't truly see as a son or daughter was Jasper. In sixty years our relationship had developed into a deep friendship based on respect and admiration. I admired the way he overcame sixty years of bloodlust and violence and fought just as hard in this new life as he did in his old one. The only difference were the spoils he received in the fight. His new war, the one with himself, had allowed him to find a family and his humanity. Something that he deserved after all he had been through. He was truly beautiful inside and out.

For the second time that night I shot straight up in bed. Where the hell did that come from? I had never considered Jasper to be beautiful before. Damn my mind really was messed up right now.

I laid back down and lost myself in my mind for I don't know how long. It could have been hours or days. I remember hearing people come and go from the room on occasion. I could hear whispers and the others talking to me but I just wasn't ready to respond just yet. It was like I was in a vampire coma my mind was trying to process and heal itself.

I finally decided to remove myself from the bed and see what was going on with my family and how they were holding up. We had about 3 months until we were moving to Montana and if you asked me it couldn't come fast enough. We were waiting till Bella graduated from high school and telling Charlie that she was going on vacation with us for the summer before she went to Dartmouth with the rest of the kids. Where at some point we would fake her death and she would be officially an eternal part of the family.

* * *

I made my way back to the land of the living, figuratively speaking of course, and was surprised when I saw the whole family seated in the living room waiting for me. Alice must have seen this.

I entered the room unsure of myself for the first time in centuries.

"Umm…..Hh..hi." I stuttered out running my had through my hair.

"Sso how long have I..umm, how long have I been out of it?" I questioned looking around my family. Alice was in front of me in a flash crushing me in the a hug so tight if I were human I would have been dead in an instant. She pulled back and yanked me down on the couch between her and Jasper.

"You have been upstairs for about 5 days." She answered in a rush. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Five days I didn't expect it to be that long.

"Oh Wow umm, ok, so what's been going on. How is everyone holding up?" There were chuckles around the room and I looked at my family like they were crazy.

"Only you, Carlisle, would be worried about us after your 80 marriage just fell apart." Edward was shaking his head rubbing circles on Bella's back. "Don't worry about us we are doing ok, we are more worried about you."

I looked down feeling ashamed again. I had failed my family. I was suppose to be the strong leader, I was suppose to protect them from pain, I was suppose to be there for them, and I failed. I felt a finger under my chin pulling my head up and I was meet with the same eyes I fell into five days ago.

"Stop it Carlisle. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is not your fault and we are all old enough to be able to be on our own for a few days. You are allowed to be selfish on occasion." There were snickers at the old enough comment as Jasper let go of my chin but kept the eye contact for a long while.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to being so weak."

"You're not weak dad." Rose was kneeling in front of me. "She had us all fooled, well most all of us." She inclined her head to Alice who looked a little sheepish.

"I am sorry dad I should have told you what was going on but…." I shushed her with a hug.

"Alice you know I don't fault you for not telling me. I understand why you didn't. I might not have been ready to hear it years ago. If you had told me I may have been broken beyond repair then. You had to wait for things to unfold naturally. This way I know I will get through this. With my family I know I will heal and come out stronger." She nodded at me when I suddenly remembered something.

"Shit what about work!" I realized I have been cussing a lot more and surprisingly I didn't mind it that much.

"Don't worry dad, we called them and told them there was a family emergency and weren't sure when or if you would be back." Alice always planning. Wait if I would be back. We still had 3 months before the move.

"Wait if I would be back. What do you mean?"

"Well we were thinking that it might be a good idea for you to maybe get out of here for awhile change of scenery and all." Edward answered this time. I thought about it for a few minutes and the idea of leaving here did have a certain appeal to it. Going somewhere with out all the memories to keep plaguing me.

"Ok that actually sounds like a good idea. So where am I going and when?"

"Well we actually thought that you could just head out to the new Montana house. Jasper and Emmett will be going with you while Rose and I tie up all the loose ends here and wait for Bella and Edward to graduate."

"But then that means that Emmett and Jasper have to be separated from both of you that's not fair or right. Maybe I should just go visit the Denali's for a few month's." I didn't want to be responsible for separating mates one heartache in the family was enough.

"Actually I could do with sometime away from the old ball and chain if ya know what I mean big daddy C!" Oh Emmett, wait for it, here it comes, WHACK! Yup he will never learn.

"Ok that's all well and good, but what about Jasper?" Everyone was looking around not meeting my eyes. Something was up.

"Actually dad there is something we have to tell you." Alice took my hand. As I wait with baited breath for them to continue.

"What is going on?" I was starting to get nervous here.

"Well, dad, Jasper and I are getting a divorce."

"WHAT! Why? I don't understand. Please tell me this doesn't have anything to do with what happened with me and Esme? Whatever is going on we can work through it together. You can't give up." I can't believe what I was hearing. Jasper and Alice are perfect for each other. They don't seem too upset about i though.

"Carlisle, please calm down. This has nothing to do with what happened between you and Esme." I heard a scoff somewhere in the room but was too distracted to figure out who or why they did it.

"Then why I don't understand."

"Dad, Jasper and I were actually never romantically involved. It was all a show."

"Oh, that explains....wait what? Never involved? Why, I feel like I am missing something here."

"You have no idea." Edward said so quietly I almost missed it. But Jasper continued before I could ask about it.

"The thing is Carlisle, Alice and I always knew that we had mates out there and we weren't each others other half. We do love each other very much. But as best friends, siblings, not lovers. I owe her so much. She brought me here to a family. She showed me another way to live. She has done so much for me that I can't even explain right now." I looked between the two of them and for some odd reason I couldn't even begin to understand felt relief to hear that they weren't actually together. I really do think I am going crazy.

"Your not going crazy dad, you just need time. Everything will work out." Edward obviously knew more about this, and it was obvious I wasn't going to get more answers right now.

"Ok so we are going to have some male bonding in Montana?"

"As long as you don't bond while I'm around everything should be fine!" Emmett boomed. The whack that sounded through the house this time was almost deafening. I looked over and saw that not only had Rose thumped him on the head but Edward and Bella as well. Ok weird.

"Anyway, yes you are already packed and will be leaving in just a little bit." Ok this would be good, spend some quality time with the boys. Get my head on straight. Yes a long car ride and adventure in the wilderness was just what I needed. I have a feeling after this my life was never going to be the same again. I just hope that I am ready for the change.

* * *

**Ok I have had tons of hits, and alot of people adding this to their favs. But haven't been getting many reviews so please let me know how I am doing please. The only way we improve is to get feedback so please help me out!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok as usual I own nothing at all!**

**a/n: Also I am not going to replay the whole Carlisle waking up and that whole conversation you already heard it once don't need to hear it again from a different pov. So on with it then.**

**JPOV:**

Once we finished talking about what happened with Carlisle and Esme we finished cleaning up the mess in the living room as best as possible. The couches weren't completely destroyed so that was good. Rose had decided to go through the house and dispose of any other reminders of the mother she just lost. Her emotions, now that the anger had ebbed, were showing her rejection, vulnerability and fear. She had, in her mind, been abandon and mislead by yet another person she had loved. She came floating down the stairs with a box in her hands when I looked in it I saw it was filled with pictures and items that linked her to Esme.

"Rosie, what are you doing?" I asked her. I understand her being hurt but this was a little obsessive.

"What does it look like. I don't want her or any reminder of her anywhere near me. If she can just throw us away so easily, well then so can we!" She was breaking my heart. She was trying to be the strong callous Rosalie we all know, and usually love, but she was hiding a deep pain. More so then any of the rest of us. Alice and I had never invested that much into our relationship with Esme because we knew this was coming. We only did enough to not be suspicious. Edward loved her but did not bond as strongly with her as he did with Carlisle and Emmett he would be hurt that Rose was hurt but never really felt a particular draw to Esme either. Rose however had seen he as the mother she didn't have in her human life.

I took the box from her and put it next to the door. Grabbing her hands I lead her over to the couch and sat her down. She was not only feeling the pain of losing her mother figure but also an underlying fear that I wanted to address and figure out what had her scared. Over the years of playing twins with the cover story we had built, Rose and I had grown as close as any biological twins would be. I truly loved her like a sister.

"Rosie, I understand you are upset about Esme. But what is with this fear I am feeling from you." I stroked her cheek hoping to convey my love and devotion. Her eyes were glistening with the venom tears that would never fall. She looked so vulnerable in this moment.

"If she can throw Carlisle away whats to say the Emmett can't do the same with me or that Carlisle won't up and leave us. What if the family falls apart completely. This is truly the only family I have ever really fit in, the only family that no matter how much of a bitch I am, they still love me. I can't loose that." I pulled her into my arms as once again the rest of the family made there way into the room.

Emmett came and sat on the other side of his wife and pulled her from my arms and placed her on his lap stroking her cheek with complete admiration radiating off him.

"Princess, I fall more in love with you with every unneeded breath I take. I could never and would never leave you!" He pulled her face down to hers and kissed her with so much passion it was both beautiful and disturbing at the same time. When his hands started making their way up her shirt I knew it was time to head out. I didn't need to be privy to the lust they would be emanating while Emmett showed his wife exactly how much he "loved" her!

"Well kids this is my cue to head out. I'm gonna hunt."

"I think I will join you. Alice has already said her and Bella are going shopping for a bit. Now we can discuss some....things." Edward had a smirk on his face that lead me to believe maybe Alice hadn't been as careful with her thoughts the last few hours as she had been in past years. I rolled my eyes and ran out the window that had yet to be fixed.

I could hear Edward behind me.

_Let's hunt first then talk. I am already drained from all the emotions earlier. _I told him in my head as I heard him diverge in another direction to go find his own meal.

I assumed Edward was trying to find a mountain lion which was his favorite. I didn't feel in the mood to try and fight my food tonight so I found a herd of deer and made quick work of draining two doe's. When I was finished I made my way to the outcropping Alice and I had been at yesterday to wait for my brother to join me.

I was getting nervous. What if he didn't accept this. I mean Carlisle was more a father to him the any of us. He had been with him the longest. What if he couldn't deal with him and I being together. What if the rest of he family wouldn't tolerate it. We all, aside from Bella, grew up in times when homosexuality was considered a mortal sin, condemning the person who committed the sin immediately to hell. What if the family couldn't change their beliefs. What if Carlisle couldn't! That thought nearly had me bawling in the middle of the forest. I really never considered what would happen if he didn't want me. I never let myself think that far ahead knowing that I would have no idea when he would be available or ready for me. But now that it was in sight it is dragging up all sorts of doubts.

Forget about the whole being mated with a guy thing. What if he couldn't get over Esme? What if she had broken him beyond repair? What if the future Alice saw was just me deciding that's what I wanted and now that he actual has to make a decision that future is going to disappear?

"Somethings are fated, meant to be, and nothing can change them." I was so focused on my inner musings that I didn't hear him approach and was so startled I almost fell off the rock I was sitting on. Edward was laughing at me as he settled into the rock next to me.

"So I am guessing Alice let slip some of her visions?" I couldn't look at him. Sure he said somethings were fate but what if he was just being nice?

"She did, with so much going on it was hard for her to keep everything on lock down." I just nodded in affirmation. I didn't blame her I had slipped up in my thought's also. "Jasper I am not going to say that it wasn't a shock because it most certainly was. But honestly who am I to judge what the fates have already ordained?"

"I guess I am just afraid that the family won't accept it. I mean it's not like it was a common occurrence in the day and age we all came from. Especially Carlisle. I mean he was going to be a pastor for God sake! I mean I am pretty sure that sticking your dick in another guy is not considered acceptable for a pastor!" I realize I maybe over reacting just a bit here.

"The key word here Jasper is was," he stress _was_ out for emphasis, "but he isn't a pastor. He is a doctor. He has also never been one to judge anybody for their life choices. What makes you think he would be so closed minded to start now? Do you have so little faith in him that you doubt the reach of his compassion?" That made me stop short. Everything I knew about Carlisle told me he would never judge me for being gay, but that didn't equate to him being a participant. I heard the chuckle next to me.

"Really Jasper, you need to relax. Like Alice has said let things go the course man. But from the visions she has had since Esme left things are more solidified then before so I don't think you have anything to worry about." I can't believe he is being so excepting of this. Out of all of the family I would have assumed he would have the hardest time dealing with this.

"Thanks Edward your acceptance really means so much to me. It gives me hope that if you can be so open about it the rest of the family will be ok with also."

"They will be. I'm not going to lie, its going to take some getting used to, and you can count on some major ribbing from Emmett on that, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. We all want you both to be happy. Just go with the flow." He paused to ponder something for a minute. "It is very weird for me to be telling you this. Usually the roles are reversed and it's you saying calm down and relax!"

"Yeah well you aren't the one that's about to start trying to win over a man who has probably only ever seen you as a son! God that sounds sick even in my own head!" I buried my head in my hands groaning. I heard Edward sigh and move closer pulling me into a one armed embrace. At least he's not being homophobic.

"Jasper why would you ever think I would be homophobic!" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye raising my eyebrow in question. Why wouldn't I think it was the better question. He never even used to talk about sex and would run from the house when things started getting to heated.

"Yes you're right but since Bella I have realized that its not as filthy as I thought." Wait does that mean that they had? I was cut off from my thoughts by Edwards groan of annoyance.

"Yes, Yes ok. We have had sex. I know I'm a huge hypocrite but I was wrong happy now?" He now had his head in his hands and I was getting mass amounts of guilt from him.

"Edward there is nothing to feel guilty about, you had sex, you didn't drop the A bomb or commit mass genocide, I think you will be ok." I looked over at him cocking a smug smile at him, "So how was it?" At least one of us was getting some. I hadn't had sex in, oh god 90 years! No that does not include self love mind you.

"Jasper I really don't want to see anything about your self love thank you!" I tried to reign in my thoughts as I held my hands up in mock surrender.

"Ok sorry, but seriously was it worth waiting for?"

"Without a doubt. I am glad I waited for her and never gave into Tanya or any of the other girls that I could have had a meaningless release with. When I was with Bella it was so pure, so passionate and intense! I was so scared in the beginning that I was going to hurt her but I realized that I loved her too much to cause her pain emotionally or physically. In the end it wasn't hard like thought it would be." I was cracking up at that and he was looking at me like I was crazy. He didn't even realize what he said!

"If it wasn't hard how did you manage to actually do the deed!" I jabbed him in the side!

"Oh you are so funny! You know what I mean!" If he could blush he would be fire engine red! He pushed me from the rock I had been on and landed on the ground with a resounding thud!

"Oh its on jack ass you better run and thank God your the fastest fucker in the family!" With that he took off back towards the house with me hot on his heals.

We made our way back to the house, and I was sincerely hoping that Emmett and Rose had finished reassuring each other of their unfailing love and devotion. They are definitely more action people then word people, vampires, whatever.

_Edward, when do you think we should tell everyone? _I asked him in my head.

"Well I think the sooner the better, get them more comfortable with it. Also it might be prudent to tell them while Carlisle is still...out of it, that way maybe Emmett will get most of his comments out of the way and not cause any issues." I snorted at that. Like that was ever going to happen. Emmett was going to have a field day with this.

"Yeah he is, but that's just Emmett you know that. He love's you. But he's a big child at heart and can't keep a damn thought to himself. Trust me I know!" I had to chuckle, Emmett did come up with some pretty obscure shit.

We arrived back at the house the same time Alice and Bella were pulling in. Bella launched herself out of the car and flung herself at Edward.

"Baby save me!!" She screamed with real fear in her voice.

"Oh its so dramatic," Alice glared in their direction, "please it wasn't that bad!" she rolled her eyes as she went to the trunk to unload the days purchases. I went around to help her.

"Why what happened, Alice if you hurt her in anyway..." There is the over protective Edward we all know and tolerate! "What did she do?" He asked choosing to ignore me and focus on Bella.

Bella lowered her head and whispered like it was some big secret, "She made me try on lingerie, black lacy things, panties with ruffles, even a corset! It was hell!"

I saw Edward visibly gulp at that and could feel the lust coming off him.

"Hey big boy reign it in, we have shit to discuss!" I sent out a huge wave of lethargy that would make a teenage boy seeing his first porno flaccid. I was rewarded with a growl and couldn't help the smirk that adorned my face. Knowing he was actually having sex now was going to make messing with him so much more fun.

"Yeah keep it up man and we will see how much fun it is for you to try and keep Emmett in line yourself cause that's what's going to happen!" Shit I forgot he has even more ammunition then I do at this point in time! Damn. He just stuck his tongue out at me like a petulant child.

"Hey, don't stick that thing out if you aren't going to use it properly!" I chastised him.

"Oh I'll use it!" With that he scooped Bella up and had his tongue so far down her throat I am sure he would taste what she had for dinner, yuck! He puts Bella back on her own two albeit wobbly feet.

From the porch I hear Emmett's booming voice, "Ok 109 year old virgin either get a room and deflower it already or get your asses in here and lets work some shit out!"

"Oh Emmett your a few month's too late on that one!" I inform him proudly. Hey he's my baby brother for all intents and purposes I'm proud of him, "Our little brother is finally all man!"

"No way!" Emmett looks gobsmacked for a brief moment and in the next second he is tackling Edward to the ground, "Why the hell didn't you tell me! This deserves a celebration! You finally got some. Do you need pointers, cause you know the race ain't over till she crosses the finish line too!"

Bella is about as bright as the sun right now but surprises me when she joins in.

"Oh Em you don't have to worry about him, he is definitely a marathon runner not a sprinter!" All three of us just glared at her. Innocent, sweet, blushing Bella, who knew! They really are perfect for each other. Edward kicked a awestruck Emmett off him and followed her inside with the rest of us trailing behind. I was dreading this conversation.

Alice came up and wrapped her little arms around my waist in a reassuring hug.

"Don't worry Jazzy, it will go better then you think. We all love you." I lingered in her comforting embrace a while longer before continuing in to face the music.

* * *

We were all seated in the living room looking around at each other not really sure where to start. We knew that decisions had to be made. Alice and I knew we also had a huge bomb to drop but none of us have ever had to take charge in this type of setting. Sure I was the Major. Give me 30 angry, snarling newborns, and a supreme dictator hell bent on destruction, and I am fine. Tell my family I am gay and going to be mated with the family father figure and I am a quivering mass of insecurity and uncertainty. Yup I should just hand in my man card and balls now.

"Ok so here is how this is going to go," Edward stepped up, "we aren't going to discuss Esme and what she did anymore. We are going to talk about how to help Carlisle get through this and what to do now. Also Jasper and Alice have something they need to tell us all." Rose erupted then.

"YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO LEAVE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She was right in my face and probably one of the most terrifying vampires I had ever seen in this moment. I had to fight the urge to cower under her anger. I am the Major for fuck sake I will not cower!

"Rosalie, sit the fuck down! No one in this family is leaving." Bella realized what she said and rephrased, "Ok no one else in this family is leaving! So lets all relax, Jasper a little calm may help, and we will discuss this like the adults most of us are!" She giggled at her own joke. Nice dig at the forever frozen teenage vamps in the room sis.

I sent out the calm that was requested and Rose went back to join Emmett on the love seat.

"Sorry Jazz my emotions are running a bit high and I am feeling a bit insecure. Which is not a feeling I like at all." Emmett scoffed, as barely audible 'no shit' was heard, followed by the cursory whack!

"So moving on. No Jasper and I are not leaving the family. We are however getting a divorce." There were gasps from everyone in the room but Edward who just shrugged before Alice continued. "The truth of the matter guys is that Jasper and I never were romantically involved. Yes we married but it was more for show then actually being together. We both have mates out there and the time is right for Jasper to start pursuing his."

The room was silent and Alice looked over at me expectantly. I cleared my throat getting ready to drop the bomb.

"Alice is right. While we do love each other it was never in a husband and wife capacity. I am forever indebted to her for helping find a family and a way of life that I can have with out guilt. She also has brought me to the place where I will be able to finally be with my mate." I could feel the curiosity start to spark in the room and I was wondering who was going to be the first to ask the most pressing question.

"Wait so does that mean you guys don't have sex!" Alright Emmett not the question I was expecting. Always full of surprises that one.

"That's correct Em. Alice and I have only ever been strictly platonic in our relationship." You could see the gears in his head turning. I half expected smoke to start coming out of his ears. He really shouldn't work the mouse on the wheel that hard!

"So you mean all these years I was only ripping on Eddie over there," he gestured with his thumb in Edward's direction who was growling at the nickname, "when I could have been making yours and Alice's life miserable as well?! Well shit looks like I have some lost time to make up for!" Well shit, is right!

"Emmett I think there is a more important question here." He looked at his wife like she was crazy.

"What, dearest, could be more important then getting to poke fun at our siblings." She just rolled her eyes at him.

"How about who their mates really are. Obviously if they aren't mated to each other then their other half's are still out there and I would like to know who they are." I looked over at Alice and she nodded at me.

"Well, umm, you see, Alice doesn't know who hers is yet, she only gets bits and pieces of him never full images. Mine has been clear for quite sometime." I took a deep unnecessary breath and plunged in. "Mine is Carlisle."

Crickets. You could actually hear the crickets chirping in the yard. I was waiting for the yelling but it never came.

"So your saying that you and our father are mates?" Rose was trying to figure this all out. Emmett was just staring into space, probably trying to find which degrading comment to go with first. Bella was just smiling.

"Well Rose honestly I never saw him as a father figure. Friend, confidant, and eventually future lover. But never a parental figure. I never let myself feel that way it would have just been to weird."

"So your gay then?" I just nodded in answer to her question. Her breath let out in a whoosh. Emmett still had yet to move.

"Wow, this is going to take some getting used to." I again nodded at her. I understood its not everyday you find out your brother is going to end up sticking it to your father. I didn't feel any repulsion or anger coming off any of them but those could always come later once everything has set in.

"Ok so let me get this straight not only have you not been getting any from your wife, but your also a fruit cake! Do you know how many jokes I could have been making all this time!!" Emmett threw his hands up in frustration. I wasn't to thrilled with the fruit cake comment but I felt only humor and love coming from him nothing negative so that was good.

"Sorry to disappoint you." I just shrugged at him.

"Well you know I love you guys not matter what. Just don't hurt him." Rose was looking at me with a fierceness in her eyes. She was worried about how Carlisle was going to handle this and that I was going to break him again.

"Rose I would rather throw myself in a fire then do anything to hurt him. Seeing what he is going through right now is seriously killing me! I want nothing more then to take all the pain away and show him what true love really is. But I can't. I have had to watch my soul mate for the last 80 years with someone else knowing what she was doing. I have come so close to telling him so many times but I refused to jeopardize my future with him so I waited and will continue to wait until the time is right."

"Well I for one think you guys would be great together. True totally didn't see it coming but you both deserve some love and happiness so you have my support one hundred percent!" Bella came over and hugged me and I could feel the acceptance and love from her.

"Hey bro you know I just rip on you out of love. If he is what you want and you make each other happy more power to ya." Emmett was now on board and accepting as well. He came over and punched me in the arm then pulled me into a half man hug. "Oh, but the first time I walk in and find you buried balls deep in his ass I am kicking your ass! I don't need to see that shit!"

"Way to ruin the moment, Emmett," Rose came over and looked at me for a minute before pulling me into a hug, "Just love him and you have my support." I nodded at her. Edward just smiles at me with a look that says 'I told you so.'

"Ok so moving on," Alice is bouncing in her seat next to me, "I need to tell you all what is going to happen now." She looked around at us as we all just stared at her. "What no smart ass comments, humm, ok then. Well Carlisle should be coming out of his funk in 3 days now. It is going to be rough but he will have a sense of resolve in wanting to move on with life and embrace a new side of himself. It will be good for him. He will also need to get away from here. Too many memories." We all agreed with that.

"So what are we going to do. Bella can't leave yet she still has to graduate and we know now that Edward is getting some he won't want to be too far away from the goods." I snorted at that but it was true. I know that once Carlisle and I start other aspects of our relationship I am never going to want to leave him.

"Hey, leave them alone or the 'good's' as you call them will be cut off from you for undisclosed amount of time!" Rose smacked him, Emmett maybe should consider an abuse counselor with as often as she hits him, not that its not warranted most the time though.

Alice's eyes glazed over and she got a devilish smirk on her face once she came out of her vision. It must be good because it caused Edward to bust a gut.

"Well Carlisle Jasper and one other will be going on ahead to Montana when he get out of the trance while the rest of us stay here finish packing up the house to get ready for the move." Pretty much everyone else had caught on to what she was saying but Emmett who was just pouting on the love seat. We call just stared at him.

"WHAT!" he finally shouted, "Wait, oh hell NO! I am not going to be the one other! That's not fair!" He had his arms crossed over his chest like a four year old. I half expected him to start throwing stuff and stomping him feet. I had to laugh at him. It was kind of suckey but it would help me not jump on Carlisle the first chance I got if I knew Emmett was there.

"Well you don't really have a choice, so suck it up and take it like a man." Rose left no room for argument.

"Fine! So, Jasper," oh shit I don't like where this is going, "whose going to pitch and whose going to hit!"

I face palmed my self and shook my head at him. It is going to be a long few days waiting for Carlisle to wake up.

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**A/N: Ok so we know that Alice doesn't know who her mate is yet. I have yet to decide if I want it to be and OC or use one of Stephenie Meyer's characters. I am thinking that maybe I don't want the Volturi to be all evil and stuff and was thinking maybe Alec, Demetri, or Felix could be options. Let me know what you all think! **

**And please review for me!!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Road Trip with Emmett, how much fun would that be lol!! Lets see what kind of craziness I can come up with for our boys!**

**As always these are all Stephenie Meyer's I just like to play puppet master!**

**CPOV:**

Road trip with Emmett this is going to be…..interesting, I think, or I may end up killing my first vampire! But this is just the distraction I need. I can feed off the joy and happiness that Emmett seemed to exude no matter the situation. I could share in the calm that Jasper provided.

Jasper. That whole situation was one big vampire mind fuck! Oh yeah cussing is coming much easier these days! I think it's time I embrace my 23 year old self for awhile.

I can't believe he and Alice kept that from the family all these years. What I can't understand is why they would do that. What point and purpose did hiding it serve. If they aren't meant to be mates then who is? Where are their mates? Are they going to end up leaving at some point also? Damn we haven't even gotten into the car and my mind was already racing.

"Alright kids lets get this circus on the road!" Emmett came barreling out of the house with Rose on his back. He was going to miss her. I couldn't figure out why he had to come, but I wasn't going to complain about it.

Jasper followed Emmett out and I noticed he was dressed much more casually then normal. I guess now that they weren't playing the prefect couple Alice was letting him have free reign over his attire. I don't think I have ever seen him look so relaxed in his own skin. The tight white t-shirt, low sitting faded wranglers, and well worn brown leather cowboy boots fit his personality more then the chinos and button downs he normally wore. Maybe we were all ready for a change.

I saw Edward and Bella, followed by Alice next. It had been interesting to learn about Bella and Edward's new relationship. I was happy for them. I love Edward like he was my own but the boy definitely needed to loosen up.

"Take your own advice old man!" Edward punched me in the arm. I guess he was right. "I know I'm right. Take care of yourself. Have fun, go with the flow. Good things are coming just embrace it." He pulled me into a hug then moved to give Bella her turn to say goodbye.

"Dad," I loved that she accepted us so fully, she pulled me into a surprisingly strong hug, "I know that this is going to be hard but I can already see a change in you. Like Edward said explore a new side of you. Your young embrace it, you stress to much you'll give yourself a heart attack." She chuckled at her own joke and I had to join in. It was something I would tell a patient. I ruffled her hair as she slapped my hand away.

"Thank you Bella, I can't wait until I see you all again and have you join the family in a more….permanent capacity." She blushed and stepped away as Rose came sauntering up pulling me in to a hug that almost crushed me.

"I love you Carlisle and I know that it hurts now but all things happen for a purpose don't close off you heart just yet." She winked at me and walked to say goodbye to Emmett. Alice wrapped her little arms around my waist as I held her close. I would miss my family for the three months we would be apart.

"Everything will be ok Carlisle, better then ok, I've seen it," she tapped her temple for effect, "Just be open minded and go with it." She squeezed me one last time and moved to join the others that were staying as we loaded into the car. Jasper jumped into the driver seat.

"Shot gun!" Emmett called as he ran round to the passenger side.

"I don't think so!" I ran around the other side to try and beat him but we got there at the same time. I tried pushing him out of the way but he was like a fucking tree! This was fun in a very childish way!

"Emmett come on I'm older."

"So that means you should be more mature and let me have it!"

"I'm the leader of this family I command you give me the front seat!" I shouted out.

"I believe in a democracy not a dictatorship!" He yelled back.

The whole family was cracking up over our display and looking a bit in awe. I never fought over something like this even if it was only in fun.

"Fine Carlisle you win this time!" Wow he gave in a lot sooner then I would have thought.

"Thanks Em, that was very mature of you."

"Mature, yeah, wait! Jasper no fair with the mood control!!" Well that explains it!

"This isn't over yet old man, you may have won the battle but I will win the war!" With an evil laugh he hopped into the backseat as I slid into the front. I looked over at Jasper who just smiled a bright face splitting smile.

"Thanks Jasper!" I patted him on the leg and noticed him shift a little in his chair. Wonder what that was about.

"Yeah thanks gaypire! Now I have to sit in the back and I have longer legs! I'm gonna get a cramp!" Wait gaypire did I hear that right?

"Emmett what did you just say?" I heard a growl coming from Jasper and sputtering coming from the backseat.

"Nothing Car, I was just messin' around you know me, haha, just playing." He didn't sound like he believed it but I decided to let it go.

We waved at the rest of the family as we pulled out of the driveway and started the day and a half drive to our new home. The first few hours of the trip I was left with my thoughts which let me tell you were all over the place.

If what Emmett said about the gaypire thing was true. That would explain why he and Alice were never romantically involved. But why did he feel the need to hide it? I looked over at him and saw him focusing on the road. His blond hair had fallen over his forehead and I had the sudden urge to push it out of the way. What was that? I shook my head to clear it. This was not the first time some errant thought about Jasper's appearance or manner had popped into my head in the last few days. I would have to explore this further at some point. I had no idea why I was suddenly noticing things about him the I never had before. I wonder if I was doing the same with the rest of the family. Was I noticing new little quirks about all of them, had I been to preoccupied with work and my own failing relationship to notice before, or was it just him I was noticing.

"Car, you ok? I am getting some confusion coming from you what's up?" I decided to just ask. I was sick of secrets in my family. He had to know that I would never think differently of him. I cleared my throat, a nervous tick I had picked up, and jumped in.

"So, umm, what Emmett said, is it true?" I looked over at him from the corner of my eyes and saw his jaw clench and him grab the steering wheel so tight it would probably snap if he didn't relax soon. The silence dragged on for a long while and I thought maybe he wasn't going to answer me when he started talking. He was rubbing the back of his neck trying to relax his muscles.

"Umm, yeah it's true. I'm gay." Just like that. Really didn't ever see that one coming.

"Wow, I didn't see that coming." I heard Emmett snicker from the backseat.

"That's what he said!" He was full out laughing now and I could help but chuckle.

"So why didn't you tell us. I mean you had to know that I would never think less of you right?" He sighed and ran his fingers through his blond locks and I was suddenly jealous of that hand. What the hell is wrong with me! Shaking my head to clear it I looked back over at Jasper waiting for his explanation.

"Well it aint something that really came up in everyday conversation. When Alice and I showed up to join the family everyone just assumed that we were mates and we didn't know you all enough at that point to really be honest. Then time just got away and we all go comfortable with our roles." I guess that made sense. I wouldn't want to tell complete strangers I was gay either. Especially in the time period in which they joined our family. It was not considered acceptable then as it is now.

"I guess I can understand that. But you know that I accept you no matter what right?"

"I do now. Thank you Car, it really means a lot to me for you to accept this." I nodded but could tell he was holding back something. Well this trip is all about new discoveries so maybe time would tell.

"Well I think that maybe we should all work on being ourselves now. Or learning who ourselves are I guess." I had realized over the last few days that I didn't really know who I was anymore. I had been so wrapped up in being a doctor and trying to please my wife and family that I think I lost who I was in the process. Being a doctor was what I did and yet I let it define me and who I was. I had to realize that I was so much more then that but what I was I wasn't exactly sure yet. It was all new and exciting and terrifying at the same time.

"Well while you two are trying to 'figure' your shit out can we do something. We have been in the car for like ever and I'm bored outta my skull!"

"Well Emmett what do you propose we do?" Jasper asked him. I didn't know what he thought we could do I mean we were in a car.

"Let's play a game." He leaned forward so his head was between the center console of the front seat. He had a devilish smirk on his face.

This was not going to end well! I can't believe I am about to do this. Well lets see if I am really ready to embrace a new side of me. With that thought I jumped right in.

"What game do you suggest Em?" He winked at me before he spoke. That was creepy.

"How about 'Never have I ever'!" What the hell was that.

"NO WAY!" Jasper bellowed before I had a chance to ask. His reaction had me more intrigued then before what would be so bad about it that he would be so adamant about not wanting to play?

"Oh come on Jazz it's totally harmless, you already came out what else do you have to hide!" Emmett shot back at him. He made a good point that is pretty much the mother of all secrets right?!

"First of all Emmett, it wouldn't work. It's a drinking game! We don't drink." Ok that could be difficult I guess but I still wanted to know what it was about.

"How do you play it?" I was very curious. Jasper sighed and waved his hand at Emmett as a sign to explain the game. Emmett was now bouncing in his seat like a four year old about to go to the zoo for the first time.

"See what happens is someone starts out by saying something that they have never done, like I could say that 'never have I ever operated on someone', and then if you had done what the person said they hadn't you would have to drink. It's a great way to learn things about someone that don't usually come up in everyday conversation and humans use it to get piss drunk!" He finished by clapping his hands together.

It did sound interesting but we would be missing out on a vital part of the game, booze!

"I will admit that it is intriguing, but we don't have anyway to indicate when we have participated in something the other person never has. We don't drink."

"Guess we can't play then, darn!" Jasper smiled as he snapped his fingers in an 'awe shucks' way. I chuckled at him.

"We could still do it and just not drink, but you would have to be honest!" I shrugged my shoulders I didn't really mind. It would keep my mind off stuff for awhile.

"I'm in." I agreed and Jasper groaned.

"Fine!" Emmett was now clapping and bouncing like a school girl. I half expected him to sprout pig tales and a little plaid skirt! I shuttered at the mental image realizing I never want to see Emmett in a little plaid skirt! Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me noticing my disgust. I just shook my head at him and smiled.

"Ok I go first, we'll start easy," he squealed so loud I think I popped an ear drum! "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

"WHAT! Your kidding right?!" Jasper was looking at him like he had grown 3 heads. Even I had been skinny dipping and I was probably the least adventurous of all of us.

"What I don't like the idea of my junk hanging out there for any old fish to come along and take a nibble." My eyebrows just about disappeared to my hairline at that. Was he serious. I couldn't even respond to that before I was doubled over laughing in my seat. I noticed Jasper in a similar position.

"Do you," Jasper paused to try and collect himself to continue, "do you know how many things are wrong with that line of thinking?" He asked gasping for unneeded breath.

"Emmett, let me break this down for you. First, you are a vampire with impenetrable skin so even if a fish decided to 'take a nibble' as you so eloquently put it they wouldn't cause any damage," Jasper looked over at Emmett to make sure he was keeping up before he continued, "Secondly, I am pretty sure that even a fishes natural instinct is to stay away from us as they would sense us as a predator, and lastly the type of fish what you would come across in any of the lakes or ponds you would be in would be more scared of you the you are of it, even if you were human it would run in terror!" He was laughing hard again now.

"Of course they would run in terror when they got a look at my monster cock! They would think it was Jaw's coming after them or something!It would be like one of those SYFY channel movies but it would be called _'Prehistoric Cock_' 'cause it's so big!" This just got me going again. I can't believe he just compared his manly parts to a giant shark hell bent on bloodlust and devouring everything in sight. Actually that might not be a bad description considering you know vampire and all.

"Ok I think I have dropped a few IQ points here. How about we move on? Obviously by the reactions in the car we have both been skinny dipping, is that right Car?" He didn't sound to thrilled about that for some reason so I just nodded.

"Ok your up daddy C." Emmett punched my arm for emphasis.

"Umm….." I cleared my throat awkwardly, "Never have I ever, drank human blood." It was lame but I was new to this.

"BOO!! You can't use something we all already know!" Emmett hissed out. I held my hands up in surrender and pondered what I could possible have never down that they might have, or at least one that won't embarrasses me to death!

"Alright sorry." I answered sheepishly. Jasper looked over at me giving me a reassuring smile and I felt a wave of confidence hit me. I nodded in appreciation at him.

"Car, this is suppose to be fun, nothing you tell us will ever leave this car." I looked at him and decided to just be honest once again.

"Ok, never have I ever….." I turned to look out the window to hide my shame, "never have I ever masturbated!" I bashed my forehead lightly on the window so as not to break it.

"Umm, wow, really?" Jasper asked in disbelief. I chanced a look at my two companions. Emmett's mouth was opening and closing doing his best impression of a gold fish and Jasper was just looking at me like he was trying to figure something out.

It's not like I never wanted to try. I know as a doctor that its perfectly healthy and over the decades I have replaced my original views that I was taught in my youth with more contemporary ones. But for some reason it just never felt right. Even after all the years of going with out sex with Esme I never really attempted it. The thought had crossed my mind on multiple occasions, but I always felt ashamed. Like if I wasn't giving my wife what she needed then shouldn't be getting something either. If I had know that she was in fact 'getting something' I may have had a different outlook on self pleasure. Might be something to explore in the future. I didn't assume I would have someone in my life for sometime, if ever, so I might as well get used to the idea.

"I grew up in a time when it wasn't talked about, but was taught that it was a sin. Good men who are going into the ministry don't do those types of things. Our thoughts had to remain pure and vigilant. Over the years my thinking on the subject changed but then I had Esme so never really needed to. Then in the later years I felt guilty about thinking about it. It felt like a betrayal to my wife."

I was looking out the window again. I didn't want to see the sympathy on their faces. I just wanted to move forward.

"Well I have. Rose love's to withhold sex as a punishment so me and Mr. Lefty have gotten very close over the years." I can picture Rose doing that. She liked to wield that type of power over him. I knew she loved him dearly but she wore the pants in that relationship.

"Seeing as how my marriage was a complete sham you can bet your ass Major Junior and I have become very well acquainted over the years." I felt a sudden urge of lust hit me thinking about Jasper touching himself and my eyes widened at the feelings. Yet another reaction to tuck away to dissect later on. If Jasper noticed the change in my emotions he didn't let on for that I was grateful. How embarrassing.

"I believe its your turn Jasper." I informed him hoping to distract from the current feelings and topic.

"Yeah so never have I ever…umm…." He looked deep in thought like he was trying to decide if he wanted to reveal what he was thinking, "umm….never have I ever kissed anyone." I had to do a double take at that. I could not believe that. Surely he wasn't insinuating he was a virgin. No that couldn't be. But he was gay and I know with his military background that didn't leave many options open for intimacy.

"Wait, wait bro, do you mean like a peck on the cheek or like a full out wet sloppy tongue swallowing kiss?" Good question, because I know he and Alice were affectionate even if they didn't have a romantic physical relationship.

"I have had platonic kisses with Alice, Rose, and Bella of course. But never a deeply passionate all consuming kiss that leaves you wanting more." That's sad to think about. Even though my relationship with Esme wasn't the greatest in the later years I had at least had the pleasure of that particular action. I was curious though if that mean also that he hadn't had other experiences either.

"Jasper so does that mean that you are actually a, well, what I want to ask is…," Wow this was harder then I thought.

"Are you asking if I am a virgin Carlisle?" I nodded and looked back out the window. I guess it wasn't really my place to ask something so personal.

"Its ok Car, and no I am not a virgin." I was confused now but before I could ask anything he continued. "I used people in my younger years for a physical release, pure physical gratification only, kissing was to personal, to intimate, I wouldn't allow myself to give that part of me up to the faceless people that filled my tent." I could tell it hurt him to admit this part of his past. He spent so much of his time ashamed of his past. I have told him over and over that he had nothing to be ashamed of. He was only doing what a soldier did, and that was follow orders. He thought it made him a mindless monster. I had to constantly remind him that he did eventually break away. He never saw it that way though. Hopefully we could get closer and both start to heal from our past misconceptions about ourselves.

"So you were kinda like Vivian from _Pretty Women _then, you know never kiss on the mouth!" Leave it to Emmett.

"I guess you could say that but with out the whole hooker thing." He confirmed. Well I should hope not!

"I think this is enough of this game. Really what's the point without the alcohol that helps you lower your inhibitions and ease the embarrassment its just awkward." I pointed out. Some of this stuff I am sure he didn't want Emmett to know.

"Sure, we are coming up on some of Yellowstone already how about we take some time to hunt." Emmett suggested. That was a good idea. I hadn't hunted since the night Esme left and that was about a week ago now. I could go a long while with out hunting but it wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world with the tickle in the back of my throat starting.

After about ten minutes of driving Jasper pulled off onto a service road and down several miles to make sure we were out of the public eye. We got out of the car and decided to split up for a bit to find our own prey before meeting back at the car.

I had been running east for about 10 minutes when I caught the sent of cougar and decided to go for it instead of the tamer deer or elk. I stalked it through the woods for a few miles when it climbed into a tree. I followed it up the tree and out on a limb. The cougar was hissing and swiping its claws at me as I stalked it further out on the limb. It turned to jump to the ground the same time I pounced on it. We were a tangle of fangs and fur flying through the air. We landed on the ground with a thud. It was struggling to get away clawing at my chest and neck but causing no damage. I had never really been one to play with my food but this was kind of fun. After a few more seconds of fighting I snapped its neck and sank my teeth into its neck moaning as the rich, thick blood hit the back of my throat.

When the cat had been drained I pushed it off me and buried the body. I heard a heard of deer a few miles south of my current location and decided to indulge a bit more. Once I had finished with two more deer I looked down and noticed the state I was in. My scuffle with the cougar had gotten me into quite a mess. For the first time in centuries I was covered in blood, dirt, and other debris. I head out to the little lake that I passed on my way to the herd of deer.

I was leaning over the bank of the lake washing my face when I saw a blur of white followed by a loud splash! What the hell was that. I looked out to the lake and found myself rolling on the floor laughing at the sight in front of me. I saw Emmett pop up out of the water swimming around with his pasty white ass sticking up.

"Emmett, I think I'm blind!! What the hell are you doing!"

"I'm living Carlisle, I'm living!" I chuckled

"So you thought you would try out skinny dipping huh?" Jasper said as he came up and sat next to me on the bank. "What about the nibblers?" I could see the smirk on his face.

"I figured 'Jaws' would scare them off enough to make it safe. You guys going to join me or just stand there admiring the view."

"I am not skinny dipping with you! Not even I'm that gay!" I just stood up and started stripping out of my cloths. I was filthy and the water looked nice so I figured why not. When I was down to my boxers I looked over and saw Jasper watching me.

"What?" I asked him as I noticed he visibly gulped.

"What are you doing Car.?" His voice was sounding a bit shaky.

"Well I am dirty from my hunt and need to clean off so I figured why not, I'm leaving my boxers on though I am not quite comfortable enough being in the water with a naked Emmett!" I dove in and let the water cleanse me in more ways then one. When I came back to the surface I looked over to see a sparkling Jasper standing on the bank looking at us.

"What you waiting for?" I challenged. He shook his head and started stripping off his shirt. I was mesmerized by the way the light reflected off his scars. I know that he thought they made him look like a monster and I have rarely ever seen him in less then a long sleeve shirt or other clothing that would completely cover him because of this fact. But looking at him now I had to admit he had a certain beauty about him that the scars didn't detract from. He was strong and capable and the scars were only further evidence of this. Somewhere in the back of my mind I acknowledge to myself that my assessment of his looks went beyond the normal admiration that anyone can have for another person. There was something deeper but at this point in time I was not willing to let it come to the forefront of my mind. I was in no place emotionally to deal with what this might all mean for me.

To distract myself from the man that had now joined us in the water I let myself go under the surface and dove down to the bottom of the lake enjoying the pressure the depth put on my body. I pushed myself back up to the surface only to be splashed in the face with water when I broke through. I looked over to see a devilish grin on Jasper's face when I felt another wave of water hit me again. Oh so that's what he wants to do.

"OH its on soldier boy!" I yelled at him as I charged for a full on attack. He must not have expected it and inhaled just as I pushed him under the water. He came up sputtering and coughing up the water he had taken in.

"Oh God Jasper I am so sorry are you ok?" I led him over to the bank still coughing up water. I felt really bad.

"Car…." cough, holding up a finger to tell me to wait a minute while he got himself together. I found myself rubbing his back trying to sooth the burn that would come from choking. At least I knew he couldn't drowned. Once the coughing stopped and he had composed himself a bit he looked over at me. I realized that our faces were much closer then I thought and found myself lost in his honey eyes, that were now vibrant and bright with the fresh blood he had consumed. Almost subconsciously I found myself leaning closer and I noticed his eyes flash to my lips. Everything was happening in slow motion and I was powerless to stop it. I wasn't sure I even wanted to.

Closer, closer. Inch by excruciating inch we got closer till I could feel his cool, sweet, intoxicating breath fan across my face. Just as our lips were about to make contact the shrill sound of a cell phone invaded our bubble and broke the trance. Jasper pulled away and was gone in a flash leaving me to ponder what the hell just happened.

As I was pondering I was hit again with a wave of water. This one I saw came from Emmett who was standing buck ass naked in the shallow water. I looked over at him and he winked at me with a knowing smile on his face.

"We need to leave. That was Alice she said that some hikers are in the area and will be coming this way. I'm sure seeing Emmett's sparkly white ass would be enough to scar them for life." Jasper snapped the phone shut and started redressing. I followed suit as Emmett made his way out of the water. I looked around and noticed he didn't have any clothes anywhere.

"Em, where are your clothes?" I asked him pulling on my pants. I looked over at him and he flashed me a dimpled smile.

"I had a feisty bear. Tore my clothes right off." He replied almost proudly.

"You mean I have to watch your lily white ass all the way back to the car!" Jasper looked at him indignantly.

"I thought you like ass!" He snorted out and started chasing Jasper around the clearing.

"Not yours you ass!" Jasper squealed as he jumped just out of reach.

"All right guys enough we better get a move on. I don't want to have to try and explain this to anyone." As I started running back to the car I could hear the two of them pushing and shoving each other as they followed.

We made it back and Emmett found new cloths in the trunk and decided it was his turn to drive. I gave up my spot in the front to sit in the back and be left to my thoughts for the remainder of the trip.

The radio was on but everyone was otherwise silent. I looked back over what had happened today. Starting with all the little things I had begun to notice about Jasper that I never had before and ending with the almost kiss.

I almost kiss Major Jasper Whitlock and the truth of the matter was I wasn't nearly as horrified as I would have thought I would be. What this means for me I have no idea. But I was going to go with everyone's advice and just embrace whatever was going to happen.

I almost kissed Jasper and I was looking forward to doing it again! Shit I am in trouble!

* * *

**A/N: ok so if you didn't know the SciFi channel changed the way they spell it and its now SYFY, so no I didn't spell it wrong. **

**Also I have a question. What is the point of having a beta. I am curious what they do cause I don't know. Should I have one? I am sorta new to the whole writing thing so don't know what purpose they really serve so if someone could let me know that would be great.**

**Please leave reviews! They make me happy!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So there will be a minor Lemon in this chapter, it is my first attempt so please let me know how I do. Also I would like to thank my new Beta** **Jaspered01 she is awesome and helped me make sure I don't look like a moron writing this! You Rock my world!**

**As always major props to Stephenie Meyer she owns it all, I own nothing!  
**

**JPOV:**

Holy shit! What is wrong with me! I almost kissed Carlisle!

If Alice hadn't called and interrupted us I would have and I have no idea how he would have taken that. I also didn't want my first actual kiss to be something he would regret. So I am glad the pixie intervened when she did. But I was still frustrated. God what I wouldn't give to have Edwards gift at times like this.

By his emotions I could tell that he wasn't disgusted or even angry. But I also couldn't tell what he thought about the whole almost kiss situation. He had so many emotions swirling around him at this point I had no idea what thoughts were accompanying the emotions.

I thought back on the game of 'Never have I ever'. I was so pissed at Emmett for suggesting that. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to make me reveal something. Something that wasn't ready to be revealed yet. I knew that even if Carlisle had accepted the fact that I was gay, and wasn't totally repulsed by the fact that we had almost kissed, it would take time for him to come to terms with the idea. He needed to accept it on his own with out any prodding from the rest of the family. I am pretty sure from his emotions that he is thinking about what happened so that is a step in the right direction.

I had been floored by the fact that he said he had never masturbated before. I thought that was something every guy did. I can't even count the number of times in the last century and a half I had taken my own problem in hand. I knew that he was the king of self-control but that was just astounding. I could most certainly show him the joys and pleasures of self-gratification. Oh shit those thoughts had Major Junior stirring, better move on to safer images.

I turned my thoughts to my own confession in the game. The fact that I had never kissed anyone before was shocking, but I was completely honest in my reasons why. In my early years in Maria's army I was never short of companions to fill my bed, both men and women alike. I only ever felt a connection with two of them and it wasn't really an intimate connection. It was more of a companionship. Yes the three of us had used each other for a physical release and had later helped each other escape from the hell we were in. But they weren't my mate and kissing in my mind was the most intimate of acts and something I only wanted to share with the one I would spend eternity.

Thinking about the past I realized that I missed Peter and Charlotte desperately. The last time I had seen them was when Alice and I took a vacation about thirty years ago. They knew that Alice wasn't my mate and knew the whole story about Carlisle and what would be happening in the future. As always they were supportive. Peter offering his own brand of encouragement he, much like my pixie best friend, also had a gift. He just knew shit and informed me that yes, Alice, was right things would work out in the future. I just had to wait for the time to be right.

I had received a phone call about three days ago from Peter letting me know that they would be seeing me soon. He and Charlotte were in Montana also and living not too far from where our new home would be. I was looking forward to being closer to the man that I considered to be a brother. We had shared a lot over the years and I'd missed them both dearly.

We were about four hours away from our new home and I was looking forward to getting there. I needed some time away from everyone to mull over the last few days events and maybe deal with a problem that seemed to be… popping up since the time Carlisle touched my leg when we first got in the car.

We stopped one last time for gas and switched drivers again and Carlisle took over. Emmett won the front seat in a thrilling game of rock, paper, scissors. Sure I could have used my gift and beat him but I try to use my power for good as opposed to evil. I also didn't need to be any closer to Carlisle then I was at the moment with the constant problem I have been having.

My mind started drifting back to what transpired before the "incident" as I have been calling it. I was amused that Emmett had decided to rectify his lack of experience in the skinny dipping department. I was not however thrilled with the idea that he decided to do it with us around. Emmett's pasty ass isn't the one I want to see. I almost swallowed my tongue when Carlisle started pulling off his clothes. It was like my deepest fantasy was coming true, except with Emmett there. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the defined muscles that rippled on his chest when he moved, and I nearly came in my pants like a 14 year old seeing his first set of boobies when he started pulling off his pants. I was hoping to get a little sneak peak at my future toy, otherwise known as Carlisle's cock, but no he had to leave his boxers on. Not that I can blame him I wouldn't want my junk hanging out there for Emmett to see, that boy has no tact at all.

"I spy with my little eye…" I was pulled out of my thoughts by who else but Emmett, "something blue." Was he serious?

"Emmett I am not playing eye spy with you. You made me play that all the way from Alaska to Forks I am not doing it again!" I refused to go down this road again. I had spent nearly three hours trying to figure out what he was "spying" only to find out that he didn't know you weren't suppose to change the object you were "spying". I nearly ripped him apart then and there.

Just as he was about to argue I noticed a blur running along next to the car in the woods. I took in my surroundings and realized that we were almost to the house and I broke out in a huge grin. It looked like Peter and Charlotte were going to be the welcoming committee.

"Hey Jasper is that Peter following the car?" Carlisle asked me. His voice didn't hold any judgment or disdain even though Peter and Charlotte did not stick to the "vegetarian" diet that we did. That was just one of the things I loved and admired about him, his willingness to accept anyone even if he didn't agree with their choices. They, like Edward did in his rebellious period, only feed of the dregs of society. It's their way of making the world a better place for the innocent. I admired them for that and if I was still feeding off humans I would follow their example, but even the scum of the earth have intense emotions when they are on the verge of death, and I just can't deal with them. I also knew it would disappoint and hurt Carlisle so I would never consider breaking from my current diet.

"Jasper," I realized I hadn't answered him and shook my head.

"Sorry Carlisle, umm, yeah I think that's him." Carlisle pulled the car into a driveway that would have been almost completely hidden to human eyes.

This house was different from most of our other homes in the past. I liked it more. Then I remember that Carlisle actually requested this home I thought Esme was going to put up a huge fuss about it but she just shrugged and said whatever he wanted. That was weird for her. Usually she picked out all the houses and decorated them. Alice however was responsible for decorating this time and she was thrilled to have taken over the job. That right there should have clued all of in more that the time was coming faster then we thought. Well Alice probably knew, but she didn't keep me up to date on the timeline.

The house itself was stunning. It was a giant log cabin with a huge tree going right through the middle of it. I love that they built the house around the forest and didn't just chop it down.

As I was getting out of the car I was suddenly tackled to the ground with such force we ended up rolling into the woods. I was pinned to the ground and looked up to see the smiling face of my brother sitting on my chest.

"Nice to see you too Peter!" I chuckled and shoved him off me. When I got up he pulled me into a huge bear hug.

"I missed you Major! I can't believe it's all finally happening!" He sounded like Alice all that was missing was the girly squeal, and I'm the gay one, righhhttt.

"Yeah I know it almost doesn't seem real." I told him then an idea popped into my head  
"Hey bro anyway you can give me and idea on a timeline for this whole thing?" His answer to my question was to throw his head back and laugh the loudest laugh I had heard since Bella tricked Emmett into trying peanut butter.

Once he was composed he threw his arm around my shoulder as we made our way back to the house.

"In case you were wondering Jazz that was a no."  
"Yeah I got that fucker!" I shrugged out from under his arm and stomped out of the woods.

"Peter nice to see you again." as Carlisle held his hand out for Peter to shake his emotions were all over the place. I was getting some jealousy with an underlying sadness and some depression. I really wish I knew why he was feeling the jealousy I couldn't think of what would cause it. His emotions quickly turned to shock however when Peter pulled him into a hug. Carlisle's eyes got wide and he looked a little frightened at the initial contact but quickly relaxed and did a manly back slap on Peter's back.

Peter released him and turned to look at Emmett who was slowly backing away.

"Hey man I am all about he hugs, but usually the people I hug have boob's sorry!"

"Fine if you're too much of a pussy to participate in a friendly man hug I understand." Emmett looked offended for a minute before he broke into a huge smile and crushed Peter in a huge bear hug. I could only roll my eyes. There was entirely too much male bonding that didn't involve Carlisle and I.

"So Peter where is Charlotte?" I was curious why she wasn't here with him.

"What Major am I not enough for you!" He put his hand on his chest and feigned hurt.

"Oh Pete, you know your more then man enough for me!" I ran and jumped so he would be forced to catch me bridal style, ironic I know, cause I'll never be a bride, get it?! I am such a nerd in my own head. I plant a huge wet kiss on his cheek and am instantly dropped to the ground. When I did this I felt another spike of jealousy, and was that anger? What is going on in his head damn it!

"Nasty Whitlock! I don't know where those things have been!" I saw a smirk on his face out of the corner of my eye letting me know he most definitely knew where they had almost been as he made a big show of wiping his cheek off.

"Whatever. So are you going to answer me?" I was dusting myself off.

"What? Oh, yeah Char well she is at home unpacking and shit. We only got here a few days before you all decided to move here so this is quite the coincidence." He winked at me and I snorted. Coincidence my ass.

"Oh well how nice of you to leave your wife to do all the work herself while you fuck around." I started making my way inside. I had to admit I was a bit disappointed that she wasn't here. Once we broke away from Maria's own version of hell, Char had become my sister in everyway that counted. A sister I just so happened to fuck in the beginning, that just sounds wrong on so many different levels.

I guess in the beginning we weren't really "siblings" that didn't really come until after we left the south. Once we left the three of us were never once intimate and the dynamic of our relationship shifted. I admit that I enjoy this relationship more then the physical one we shared.

"What can I say I am just a considerate fucker!" The rest of the family was following behind me.

As I entered the foyer of the house I was assaulted with the smell of fresh wood, leather, and clean. I inhaled deeply loving the scent. The house had all dark wood and exposed beams. There was a huge loft that over looked the rest of the house. Upon further inspection I noticed it housed the huge flat screen TV, gaming systems, pool table, and other sorts of entertainment to keep us occupied. There was a huge light brown leather couch and loveseat that contrasted beautifully with the dark wood in the house. I couldn't wait to see the bedrooms. This would be the first time since we joined the family that Alice and I wouldn't be sharing a space. I was looking forward to having my own sanctuary to disappear to.

I heard everyone else exploring the house. Emmett of course was already breaking in the game room, Carlisle was in his study, and Peter was following behind me. I went up to the second floor and started peaking in rooms. There was one bedroom on the first floor, that was Carlisle's, as well as his study, and a sitting room. There were three bedrooms on the second floor that also held the loft. Those were Emmet and Rose's, Edward and Bella's, and Alice's. The third floor housed another bedroom that was to be mine, and Edwards music room.

I made my way up to my new room and was shocked by what I saw. It was stunning and sent me back to my life in Texas. It was designed in a Southwest style with light wood furnishings. The huge king sized bed was covered in a fluffy down comforter with a brown suede duvet, the sheets were striped orange, blue, and tan, and there were enough throw pillows on it to open my own Bed Bath and Beyond. The headboard of the giant bed was ornately decorated dark leather and it sat against a full wall of windows. The walls were painted to mimic a dried sun cracked stucco in a light tan with a burnt orange trim surrounding the room. On the opposite wall from the bed were huge built in shelving units that held all my books, as well as a large flat screen TV. There was a large red soft suede looking chair that I could imagine curling up in and getting lost in a history book for hours. On the wall next to the shelves were two doors. One I assumed was a closet and the other would be the bathroom.

I made my way to the one I assumed would be the bathroom. I was shocked once again to find that it was stunning and not the feminine bathroom I had become accustomed too. The fixtures were all copper and along the back of the sink was decorated with tiles of all different colors and shapes. The mirror over the sink was studded leather in a dark brown to compliment the copper fixtures. There was a huge Jacuzzi tub that I am assuming Alice had added in hopes of me having company to use it with in the near future. God I hoped that came true soon! There was also a walk in shower that had five different shower heads. One overhead that was like standing under a downpour of rain, and two on each side of the shower. I couldn't wait to use the it!

"Nice digs you got here Whitlock." Peter invaded my inspection of my new home. "Come on lets go sit and talk, catch up and shit."

Peter and I spent the next several hours talking about what we had been up to in the last 30 years. He knew not to bring up what was happening with Carlisle in the same house. With our hearing it would be a secret for long if we tried to talk about it.

He finally decided he needed to get back to Char and promised that they would come over again in a few days when we had settled in. I went down to walk him out and get my suitcase from the car. Most of our cloths and belongings wouldn't be coming until the rest of the house was packed up so we only had enough to last a few weeks. So we would have to do laundry or walk around naked, humm, thoughts of a naked Carlisle bombarded me as I made my way back up to my room.

As I was making my way back upstairs I noticed Carlisle's study door open and decided to check on him and see if I couldn't get a feel for why he was having some of the emotions he was having.

I knocked on the door as I walked in and he looked up at me with surprise on his face.

"I thought you and Peter would be spending time together." He stated almost in a sneer as the anger and jealousy spiked again. Interesting.

"No he had to get back to his wife. They will be coming over in a few days after we settle in. Carlisle why are you feeling angry and jealous?" I so did not mean to ask that out loud, shit! He just looked at me like a deer caught in headlights and blinked a few times.

"I guess I am just worried that you….well maybe that you will decide you want to be apart of their family instead of ours." He was being honest about this to a point, but I could tell he was also holding back, his emotions held a reluctance to them. I knew I had to assure him with out revealing too much.

"Carlisle you never have to worry about me leaving the family. My destiny lies here always will." I decided to leave him with that and let him continue to work stuff out in his head. He needed to come to terms on his own why he was feeling what he was.

As I walked out of the study I got a wave of relief that washed over me at my acknowledgment that I had no plans to leave the family. That was good, very good.

When I got back to my room I started to unpack my few belongs and let my mind wonder more to what Carlisle's emotions would mean in the future. Which then lead my mind to wonder into much less innocent territory. For once I didn't try to stifle my rampant thoughts and let them take over. I decided to take a shower and rid myself of the day and a half of traveling dirt and grim.

I closed and locked my bathroom door, turned the water on in the shower and stripped out of my clothes freeing my already throbbing erection. I stepped under the spray and loved the feeling of the water coming from all different directions. As I let the water wash over me and relax my body my thoughts started to turn to the man two floors down.

_I had my head pushed against the wall of the shower just relaxing as the water cascaded down my back when I felt arms slide around my waist. I inhaled deeply and relaxed further as my love's scent washed over me. He started trailing open mouth kisses along the back of my neck sucking and nipping as he went. His glorious rock hard cock pressed against my ass._

_My hand ghosted over my chest and tweaked the nipples that had always been a sensitive erogenous zone for me. My breathing picked up as I worked myself to hardened peaks as I continued with my fantasy._

_Carlisle continued to trail light playful nips and kisses on my neck making his way to my ear. His tongue traced the shell of my ear._

_"Am I making you hard my beautiful soldier?" He whispered in my ear making me moan and shiver bucking my hips back into him desperate for more. He moved his hands to my hips and held them in place as he chuckled at me. "You must learn patience my Major, surely they taught you that in the Army."_

_"I have waited 60 years for this Car I think I have been patient enough. I think its time I get my reward." He growled in my ear and turned me around so I was facing him._

I slowly slid one hand further down my body while my other arm moved to the shower wall as I rested my forehead on it. My fingers felt the soft trail of hair that would lead to my own promise land.

_As soon I was facing him his lips crashed on mine with so much force it would have cracked teeth if I were human. I felt Car push his tongue into my mouth and tasted his sweet essence that was a combination of cinnamon, orange, and just plain Carlisle. I moaned into his mouth as our tongues battled for dominance. I relented and let him take control of the kiss just like I would let him take control of this entire experience. _

_I felt his hands slid up an over my shoulders and down my chest where he proceeded to twist and pull on my nibbles in the most exquisite torture imaginable. I threw my head back as his mouth left mine and made his way down my jaw pausing briefly to suck on my Adams apple and then continue his journey down to my chest. I growled as his mouth made contact with my nipple and started to suck and lightly bite on the pebbled peak. _

_"You like the way I can play your body don't you?" He whispered too me. He knew every sweet spot I had._

_"God yes, Car, you are driving me insane, please…" My pleas turning into moans as his mouth was once again on my chest._

_Once he had lavished a significant amount of attention on one peck he made his way over the other trailing wet open kisses across my chest. After spending as much time teasing and playing with that nipple he slowly started moving lower tracing the outline of my abdominal muscles with his tongue. My breathing picked up more and I was panting so loud it was almost embarrassing. But with thoughts of where his mouth almost was I couldn't bring myself to care._

My cock was so hard it was painful and I could feel the slight leaking of pre-cum on the tip as my hand ghosted over my shaft. I moaned at the light touch but I needed more. More friction, more, more, it was my mantra as I finally allowed myself to grip the throbbing head of my cock. My thumb swirled over the slit gathering the leakage and spreading it down my shaft as I started a slow steady rhythm.

_Carlisle's mouth left my body suddenly and I looked down to see the most wonderful sight I have ever seen. He was on his knees before me, his eyes admiring my pulsating cock in front of him._

_"God Jasper…so beautiful… I can't wait to taste you." _

_With that his tongue peaked out of his lips and licked my shaft from base to tip before swirling it around the head tasting the accumulated pre-cum on the slit. My eyes slammed shut at the sensation. As much as I wanted to watch this I couldn't will my eyes to open there were too many sensations assaulting my body as well as the emotional atmosphere. I was in a haze of pleasure. _

_I gasped suddenly as he wrapped his lips around me sucking hard as he bobbed his head down my cock for the first time. I hit the back of his throat and couldn't stop the groan that left my throat._

_"Fucking shit….uhhh…..I…ah…love the way…my cock looks….damn…in your mouth!"_

_ I could feel the wonderful tightening in my stomach and knew I wasn't going to last long but at this point I couldn't be bothered to care. As he started to move his mouth on me I brought my hand to the soft blond hair on the top of his head. I hit the back of his throat again and this time he swallowed around me. _

_"Baby….God….please don't ssstop…" I managed to stutter out. His only answer was to pick up the pace._

_I cried out and fisted my hand in his hair so tight that it was probably a bit painful. His left hand was resting on my hip as his right came up to tug and roll my sac in his arctic hand. The coil in my abdomen tightened even more. Car's left hand moved from my hip to my lower back and it moved lower to my ass. He was kneading and caressing it as he moved up and down on my shaft. I felt him slip a finger between my cheeks and cried out at the added stimulation. My hips started thrusting lightly in time with Carlisle's ministrations it was the most delicious feeling ever. I was so close._

_"Car…..uhh….so…close….more…" I could barely get the words out._

_I felt him hum in response as his left index finger slowly pushed into my tight hole. The noises coming from my mouth were feral and loud now as his finger pushed further in passed the second ring of tight muscles. He was thrusting his finger in time with his mouth when he curled it inside me and hit the most magic spot deep inside me. I couldn't hold off any longer._

_"Car…Oh fuck….I'm cumming…." _

_I expected him to move but he didn't I looked down and watched him swallow around me again and I was completely undone. _

_"CARLISLE.." I screamed as I shot cold streams of my seed down his throat. _

_He stood up and crashed his mouth to mine. I could taste myself mixed with his amazing flavor and was nearly hard again._

_"I love you beautiful soldier." My heart soared._

I bit my cheek to keep from actually screaming his name when I came all over my hand and the shower wall as one of the most amazing orgasms ripped through me.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself. If my imagination is this good I can't imagine what the real thing will be like.

I washed the jizz off my hands and shower wall and finished up with my shower. I was looking forward to curling up in that overstuffed chair and basking in my post orgasm bliss.

* * *

We had been at the house for a week when Emmett and I decided to go hunting. Carlisle was going to stay home and stay locked in his study to continue to brood. I had felt like he made a break through on the car ride here but since we have arrived he seems to have withdrawn into himself. At least he wasn't catatonic again.

It was driving me nuts to know what had set him back into himself. He only interacted with us when we forced him. Emmett had made him join us for a movie night a few nights ago and he never fully seemed to loosen up. I hope that the almost kiss wasn't freaking him out and causing this reaction. It seemed like anytime Peter was around the jealousy spiked. Did he think something was going on between me and him? Surely he didn't. He knew Peter and Char were happily married but then again he thought he and Esme were also and she was cheating on him. I kind of hoped he was feeling jealousy about my relationship with Peter because that would mean he had feelings beside friendship for me, wouldn't it? Damn it, I am just talking myself in circles.

I had just finished my meal when my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Alice texting me.

_**You need to get home now. If you don't it will fuck up the time-line. I'll inform Emmett. GO!**_

She didn't need to tell me twice. I sprinted as fast as I could in the direction of home having no clue what was waiting for me when I arrived. My mind was already conjuring up all sorts of scenarios.

A random nomad came and hurt him. He decided he never wanted to be with me. He decided he couldn't handle Esme leaving and went to the Volturi to end him. Oh God, my legs couldn't run fast enough.

I ran up the porch and threw the front door open while reaching out to feel the emotions in the house. I was getting wave after wave of despair. I made my way to Carlisle's study pausing to take a calming breath as I opened the door. I was not prepared for the sight I was met with.

Carlisle was curled up into a tight ball on the floor in front of his desk gripping a packet of papers sobbing. I didn't even stop to think about my actions I just rushed to him and pulled him into my lap on the floor. He was sobbing as I stroked his hair and tried to whisper words of encouragement and hope. I had no idea what caused this reaction but whoever was to blame was going to be severely punished for the pain it was causing.

He started to calm down and I took the opportunity to reach for the paper work in his hands.

"May I?" I asked. He handed it over to me with out a word. I took it from him and looked at the forms in my hand.

They were divorce papers. My eye's slid shut and I sighed loudly. Carlisle got off my lap and I immediately missed his weight on me.

"Sorry Jasper. I just decided to check the mail in the box today. We hadn't checked it since being here and that was waiting in there. It just made it all seem so real, so final. Also look at the date." I was puzzled but looked at the envelope they were delivered in. I gasped in realization.

They were post marked for two week's before they had the huge fall out. She was never planning on moving with us this time.

"Car, man I am so sorry, I had no idea." I didn't even really know what to say. I could feel his emotions starting to shut down again and knew that if I didn't get him to work through them he _would_ be catatonic again.

"It's ok Jasper. I'll be ok." He made to move back to his desk but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Don't do this Carlisle. Don't shut down again. You will never move on if you don't deal with the emotions you are having no matter how painful they are." My eyes were boring into his as second by second they too on a lifeless quality.

"I said I would be fine Jasper. Please go back to your hunt." Always so fucking polite.

"No." I challenged him. I felt a slight spark of anger at this. There we go. Lets go with that emotion to start. "I'm not letting you recoil into yourself again. I know you have major emotions building under the surface. Its ok to let them out. Just feel them Car."

He jerked his arm away from me as his gaze turned to steal. I had never seen him look so much like a vampire as he did in this moment with his eyes boring into me.

"Jasper you don't want to go down this road right now. I'm not rational." I snorted and grabbed him again as he tried to move away again.

"Carlisle, emotions aren't always rational. But you can't sweep them away again. I know your pissed so get pissed! Show it. Yell, scream, fucking throw a fit. Break something!" The words were no sooner out of my mouth then I felt myself flying through the air and crashing into the far away splintering it with the force of my impact.

I stood up and looked over a Carlisle. He had his fist's clenched at his side and was panting while grinding his teeth.

"You want me to express how I feel. Fine!" He screamed as he picked up a paper weight from his desk and threw it through the window being it shattering it on impact. I just watched him go on a warpath in his office and stayed quite as he started ranting.

"YOU'RE RIGHT I AM PISSED. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THE I INVESTED 75 PLUS YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH A WHORE! I AM PISSED THAT I GAVE HER EVERY PART OF ME AND GOT NOTHING IN RETURN. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THAT I LOST SO MUCH OF MYSELF TRYING TO KEEP THAT BITCH HAPPY!" He was pacing back and forth occasionally picking up some knick-knack and tossing it through the shattered window, or kicking furniture around. I didn't attempt to calm him or interrupt. Aside from being amusing this was good for him. He had kept too much pent up for decades.

He continued to rave for another ten minutes about the shit she had put him through that I had no clue about, yelling about things that I am sure made sense to him but were fucking Greek to me. Finally he was coming to the end of his rant and was just muttering to himself now. He looked over at where I was standing and his eyes got wide.

"Oh God Jasper, I am so sorry, shit." He rushed over to me and started looking over me like I was a patient of his or something. I just started laughing at him.

"What's so funny I could have hurt you?" I could feel the remorse and self loathing rolling off him.

"Carlisle, you didn't hurt me. Indestructible remember and I've had worse. I am just glad you were able to get some of that repressed anger out." I brushed some glass off of him and that had flown in his rage.

"I will admit that it felt good. But that's not an excuse for violence Jasper. I should never have pushed you that way." The guilt was palpable.

"No Car, I knew you were getting ready to blow I shouldn't have grabbed you. If I learned anything in my time in the south it was never get in the way of someone who is in a rage. No blood, no foul right?" I really didn't want him feeling guilty about this. It really was dumb of me to grab him that way.

"Alright, thank you for being here for me. It means more then you know." I pulled him into a tight hug and felt contentment roll off him. This was where he was always meant to be and I would make sure he knew it, soon.

"Let's sign those papers and get rid of that bitch once and for all what do you say?" I pulled away to look at him and noticed his eyes had life in them again. He went over to his desk looking for a pen that hadn't gotten lost in the destruction of the room. When he found one and signed my phone buzzed again.

_**That was close for a bit but the future is clearer then ever. Soon.**_

We would get through this and be stronger for it.

* * *

**AN: Ok next chapter will be Carlisle as always and we may get to see what was going through his head about Jasper and Peter and maybe a Carlisle Lemon. What do you think. If you make me happy enough with review I may see what I can do.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Alright as promised here is Carlisle's perspective on things. You really get a look into his mind. Not really any lemons here, but we are building up to them so the more reviews I get the more motivated I am to write them!! LOL**

**I again would like to think my amazing beta who has been so encouraging and helpful! Seriously I don't think she ever sleeps she says she does but I don't think so! So Jaspered01 you are my hero!!  
**

**CPOV:**

After we arrived at the house and Peter and Jasper had quite the reunion we all made our way inside. I excused myself and made my way to my study for some much needed solitude so I could think. Watching Peter manhandle Jasper invoked and emotions I had never felt before. It took me ages to even identify it. Jealousy. I had no idea why I would be feeling it, but I was. Envy, the green-eyed monster, whatever you want to call it was not a pretty thing. I did not like it.

First I had no reason to feel jealous. I had no claim on Jasper, I didn't even want one, did I? After the sea of green envy that flooded my vision cleared I started to feel sad. Sad because I realized that he and Peter had a bond that I knew nothing about. Jasper and I were close and he told me a lot about what he had been through in his time with Maria but apparently he may have left a thing or two out.

I knew they were in the Southern War's together and that they were very close, but I didn't know how close and that in and of it self threw me. They had lived together and traveled together for many years before joining our family. Now that he and Alice weren't together anymore would he go back to Peter and Charlotte? If he did what would their relationship be? Was it just a brother, sister type of bond or did it go deeper, to a more intimate connection. That thought had my stomach churning. Why was I having these reactions to Jasper? Why wasn't I horrified that we had almost kissed? Why was I repulsed at the idea of him with another man?

I took that thought and latched onto it. Was I repulsed with the idea of him being with another man? Did I find it morally repugnant? I never thought I did. I was always open minded and accepting of the gay/lesbian community. Was I disgusted of the idea of other men together? Simple answer was no. So why did I have that reaction when it came to Jasper?

As I was pondering this, I stopped to listen to see where the others were in the house. Emmett was breaking in the game room, and Peter and Jasper up in his room. The idea of the two of them alone in his bedroom didn't sit right with me. I listened to see if I could hear what was going on. From what I could tell they were just talking and catching up on life.

Several hours later they made their way back downstairs. Peter had to get home to his wife and I was relieved that he was leaving. Once he was gone Jasper came to see me in my office. I was shocked when he asked why I was feeling the jealousy and sadness. I didn't really have an answer to most of it so I just went with what I knew. I told him about my fear of him leaving the family now that he was closer to Peter and Charlotte. I knew he could feel that I was hiding something but he didn't push it just informed me that he was where his destiny was and had no intention of leaving.

I thought about that some wondering what he meant by that. If his destiny was here and it wasn't Alice I was the only other one with out a mate. Did that mean? No, maybe Alice knew that his mate would find him here soon. That thought made my chest hurt. If that was the case then why wouldn't he tell me? I wasn't going to get answers sitting there. I decided to go and talk to him see if I could get some more information out if him about his so called destiny.

When I reached his door, I heard the shower running and knew I wasn't going to get my answers then, so decided to head back to my office when I heard a moan. It was the single most erotic sound I had ever heard. I could hear his heavy panting and a few groans and gasps on occasion. I knew I should have left. I felt like a pervert for intruding but I couldn't make my feet move. I found myself wondering who he was fantasying about. I was starting to harden at the thought of him touching himself and that was enough to propel me away from the door and back to the safety of my office closing the door on my desire.

I was freaking out. I was NOT getting hard thinking of another man! I had to try and figure this out. _OK think of a women that you have always thought attractive_, I thought. Leaning back in my chair I conjured up images of Jenny Garth. I had always thought she was stunningly adorable. I tried to imagine massaging her breast while taking a hardened peak in my mouth, but the image was quickly replaced by the flat smooth planes of a mans, no not just a mans, Jasper's chest.

I shook my head and tried to refocus on the soft feminine curves, her blond hair, but the second I imagined long blond hair it instantly changed to short wavy curls.

"FUCK!" I gritted out. Trying again I thought about pushing my hardened cock into the tight wet heat of a women and instantly went soft. Not a reaction a straight man is really looking for when thinking about a attractive women. Shit! I am officially turned on by Jasper. I was in so much trouble.

Throughout the next week Emmett and Jasper had tried to pull me out of the funk that my new revelation had created. I am sure they thought I was doing this because I was upset with Esme and what happened, and I was, but it went much deeper then that. It's not everyday you discover something so utterly life altering as to find out you want more then just friendship with someone you have known for 50 odd years. Especially a guy.

My major dilemma at this point was what to do about it. I still didn't know the full extent of his relationship with Peter and Charlotte. I know he said his destiny is here, and I had found myself hoping more and more over the last week that I was the destiny that was keeping him here. What it all meant and how it would all play out I had no idea.

Emmett and Jasper decided to go for a hunt. They tried to get me to go with them but I declined. I didn't want to be in close proximity with Jasper until I had some things figured out. I went out to the mailbox, we hadn't checked it since arriving and I knew that there would be some important documents arriving that Alice was sending. When I got there one envelop in particular caught my eye. I would know that hand writing anywhere. What I didn't know is what the hell she would be sending me.

I got back to my office and set the paper work on my desk keeping the large manila envelop in my hand. I looked at the post mark and it was sent 2 weeks prior to her even leaving me. Odd. I opened it and felt my world crash around me once again. The realization that she was planning on leaving me, that she didn't want me, that she was never intending to make this move with us hit me like a wrecking ball. I felt myself breaking again as I collapsed on the floor and sobbed.

Why wasn't I good enough. Was I forever doomed to be inadequate in all relationships. I had failed my wife, and was continuing to fail my children by not being the leader they needed me to be. Maybe life would be better for everyone if I wasn't around anymore. I felt an agonizing pain shoot through me at that thought. I didn't want to leave my family but if it was what was best for them all, then for once in my life I would be strong enough to do what they needed me too. Even if it meant extricating myself from their lives so they could move on and be happy.

I felt his presence but couldn't acknowledge him I was withdrawing into myself again and was powerless to stop it. He was holding me and stroking my hair in comfort, comfort I didn't deserve. I wasn't the strong leader they all needed. I couldn't even keep my mate. Somewhere in my logical brain I screamed that she wasn't truly my mate, if she was she wouldn't have left. But at this point all logical thought was gone and I was drowning.

I was starting to calm down from my sobs a bit with the help of Jasper's scent. It always seemed to bring comfort. I knew that he wasn't using his power to help me, nor would he. Jasper was a big fan of work through one's emotions on your own.

"May I?" He asked. I handed over the paper work in my hand to him. He took it from me looking over the forms in his hand.

I moved off Jaspers lap and immediately missed the feeling of my body flush with his.

"Sorry Jasper. I just decided to check the mail in the box today. We hadn't checked it since being here and that was waiting in there. It just made it all seem so real, so final. Also look at the date." He looked puzzled but looked at the envelope anyway seeing the date there. I heard him gasp in realization. Obviously the pixie devil left this part of the story out.

"Car, man I am so sorry, I had no idea." I was trying to shut down my emotions like I always did.

"It's ok Jasper. I'll be ok." I went to move back behind my desk when his hand shot out and stopped me. I looked over at him my features turning hard.

"Don't do this Carlisle. Don't shut down again. You will never move on if you don't deal with the emotions you are having no matter how painful they are." I could feel his eyes boring into me, willing me not to turn back into the zombie I was before.

"I said I would be fine Jasper. Please go back to your hunt." I was trying to maintain my composure but it was slipping fast.

"No." He challenged me. I felt a slight spark of anger at this. I was not very familiar with this emotion. I was one to use logic and not let my emotions rule me.

"I'm not letting you recoil into yourself again. I know you have major emotions building under the surface. Its ok to let them out. Just feel them Car."

I jerked my arm away from him and felt my gaze turn to steal. I had fought for decades against my vampire nature but in this one moment I could feel the monster start to take over and it was not going to be pleasant.

"Jasper you don't want to go down this road right now. I'm not rational." He snorted and went to grab my arm again. I really needed him to back off before I did something I would regret.

"Carlisle, emotions aren't always rational. But you can't sweep them away again. I know your pissed so get pissed! Show it. Yell, scream, fucking throw a fit. Break something!" It happened so fast. Once second he was holding the my wrist and the next he was flying across my office hitting the far wall with a sickening crack. But the flood gate was open there was no stopping it now.

I stood there with my fist's clenched, teeth grinding, and panting for breath I didn't need.

"You want me to express how I feel. Fine!" I screamed as I picked up a paper weight from my desk and launched it through the window shattering it on impact. I was on a warpath in my office and nothing was safe from my fury.

"YOU'RE RIGHT I AM PISSED. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THE I INVESTED 75 PLUS YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH A WHORE! I AM PISSED THAT I GAVE HER EVERY PART OF ME AND GOT NOTHING IN RETURN. I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THAT I LOST SO MUCH OF MYSELF TRYING TO KEEP THAT BITCH HAPPY!" I was pacing back and forth occasionally picking up some knick-knack and tossing it through the shattered window, or kicking furniture around. He didn't attempt to calm me or interrupt.  
My ranting continued for what felt like hours. I had decades of pent up emotions and anger that were rushing out at once. Finally I was starting to calm again only muttering to myself on occasion about the injustices I had been forced to witness and the falling of my marriage. When I was finally calmed down enough to take in the damage I had cause I looked over and saw Jasper staring at me covered with debris from where the wall had crumbled on him

"Oh God Jasper, I am so sorry, shit." I rushed over to him and started looking for damage like he was a patient of mine. He started laughing at me. What the hell!

"What's so funny I could have hurt you?" I was feeling so guilty right now. I never resorted to violence.

"Carlisle, you didn't hurt me. Indestructible remember and I've had worse. I am just glad you were able to get some of that repressed anger out." He brushed off some glass that had made its way to me in my rage.

"I will admit that it felt good. But that's not an excuse for violence Jasper. I should never have pushed you that way." My guilt was palpable.

"No Car, I knew you were getting ready to blow I shouldn't have grabbed you. If I learned anything in my time in the south it was never get in the way of someone who is in a rage. No blood, no foul right?" He was trying to fluff it off like it was no big deal, even blaming himself for it. That was so Jasper. But I should never have laid a hand on him.

"Alright, thank you for being here for me. It means more then you know." H pulled me into a tight hug and I felt content for the first time in weeks, years actually. This was were I was always meant to be and I would make sure he knew it, soon.

"Let's sign those papers and get rid of that bitch once and for all what do you say?" I had never felt more alive then I did in this moment and I never wanted the feeling to go away. I came to the realization that when I was with Jasper I had always had these feelings. Completion, contentment, happiness. I thought it was just because we were close and he had a way of exuding his emotions to others without even using his gift. I was just coming to the understand that it was so much deeper then that.

I moved around my desk trying to find a pen so I could rid myself of the millstone that had been weighing me down for decades. Once I had signed the papers I felt free and happy and ready to move on.

I looked up at Jasper and smiled my first real smile in ages.

"How about we go mail these get it over and done with then finish the hunt you started?" I really should hunt anyway.

"Yeah let's do it." We made our way out to my Mercedes and realized as I looked at it that I really wanted something different. I always got the Mercedes because Esme insisted that it helped create the image she wanted to portray. Personally I would have been just as happy with something cheaper and less flashy. Maybe an SUV or a truck. I had never had a truck. No I would look ridiculous behind the wheel of a truck. I had to stay with elegance and class, that was me. Stuffy boring old Carlisle.

"What is going on in that head of your Car?" Jasper invaded my self-deprecating thoughts.

"Oh I was just thinking that I, umm, well its stupid really never mind." I looked down in shame.

"Car whatever it is that has you feeling so unsure of yourself can't be stupid. Please talk to me." He was pleading again. Begging me to open up to him. I relented.

"Well I was thinking of maybe trading in the Mercedes for something else." I managed to get out barely above a whisper. I looked over at Jasper and noticed a little smirk on his face.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well I was thinking like a SUV or maybe even, umm, a truck." I peeked up at Jasper and he was staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "Sorry I knew it was a dumb I idea, I'll just stick with the Mercedes that's what fits me." I went to get in the car but was stopped with a hand on my shoulder.

I turned and noticed his eyes were turning darker by the second. What was that about?

"No, Car, I ummm," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "I think a truck would be nice for a change."

"Really? You don't think it's, I don't know, to masculine or something. I mean I know I don't particularly scream macho…" I trailed off embarrassed again.

"Car, you are all man don't ever forget that." He assured me. I felt a unfamiliar tightening in my lower abdomen and realized his intense gaze was turning me on. Shit, I can not get an erection this close to him. It would freak him out. I don't even know what, if anything, he feels towards me.

"Alright then lets get going. I want this paper work out of here like now!" I turned and got in the car before I did something incredibly stupid like picked up where we left off on the bank of the river over a week ago.

Our first stop was at the post office to mail the divorce papers back to the lawyer Esme had used. After that we made our way to the closest car dealership. It was a Toyota dealer. Jasper and I wandered around the lot for awhile before we were accosted by a pushy salesman named Ted.  
"So what can I help you gentlemen with this fine day?" He was all cheesy smiles and fake enthusiasm. Well I think we were going to make his day. I had been looking at several different models on the lot. But was torn between the Tacoma and the Tundra. I mean the Sequoia was nice as was the Highlander. But I really think I want a pickup. I mean we are living in cowboy country right?

"Well we just moved here with our family and my…. friend here is looking for a new truck." Jasper stumbled a bit as to what to refer to me as. Shit we forgot to work on a new cover now that Esme was no longer with us. But why wouldn't Jasper just say that I was his father. True we never really felt like father and son, thank God for that because with my new found feelings that would be awkward, but we had always still portrayed that type of relationship to the public. Oh well I guess family friend it is.

The gleam in Jaspers eye told me he was thinking about something he shouldn't be and I had to admit that I was beyond curious. But that would have to wait.

"Well did you have a price range or specific model you were interested in. Did you want new or used?" Ted was spouting questions at us left and right. I turned away from an amused Jasper and looked Ted.

"Price range don't have one, I was looking at the Tacoma or the Tundra, and we want new please." I could see the sales-mans eyes glaze over at the thought of a sale.

"Oh and we will be paying cash up front." I informed him and I think he swallowed his tongue. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Three hours and one very happy sales-man later I was pulling out of the dealership in my new Tundra with Jasper fallowing behind me in the Mercedes. I felt different sitting up so high in the awesome piece of machinery. I know it may sound stupid but I think it was the beginning of some major changes in my life. Changes I am very excited to make.

I was coming to terms with my relationship, or lack there of, with Esme. I was starting to realize that maybe I wasn't as in love with her as I thought. Yes, I loved her I won't deny that, but it wasn't the all consuming fire and passion that I see with true mated couples. So armed with that knowledge I was prepared to explore my new budding feelings for Jasper.

Just as I thought this I was bombarded with self-doubt. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if his relationship with Peter is more then just friends? What if Alice saw his true mate coming for him? What if I was just broken when it came to relationships. Too analytical, too cold (no pun intended), too trapped in my head? Jasper deserved passion and fire. He deserved someone to take care of him, someone who was comfortable in his own skin. Right now that was not me. But it could be. I could become that. I could step out of my over analyzing bubble and learn to love and live. I could and I would. For him.

We made it home and he pulled the Mercedes into the garage, I didn't expect that we would be using it often, and ran to join me as I got out of the truck.

"You ready to hunt cowboy?" He winked at me.

"Please I am so far from a cowboy its not even funny." I scoffed at him.

"Well you got the truck so you are more then halfway there. You just need a tight pair of jeans, some boots, and a hat and you'll be all over it!" The grin on his face set my veins on fire.

"That will have to wait though. because I am thirsty. So lets do this." I took off running towards the forest.

I didn't feel like expending too much energy on finding big game so I settled on a few elk and made my way to sit on a downed tree to gather my thoughts, and courage. I was going to talk to Jasper. I was going to get answers from him about his relationship with Peter and Charlotte, and I was going to make sure that he wasn't leaving us. I know he said that his destiny was here but I wanted him to know that even when his 'destiny' showed up I wanted them both to stay. Even if seeing him with someone else would hurt I would endure it just to have him close.

I heard someone join me and looked over to see Emmett smiling at me.

"Good to see you out and about Carlisle. I was starting to worry, though not as much as a certain Major." He continued to smirk. I chose to ignore the comment for now.

"Sorry Emmett I know I haven't been very social the last few days. I was have been trying to work some stuff out." I told him truthfully.

"I know you have a lot going on in you head Car. I just wanted you to know if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you also. I know I come off as a big oaf but I can be surprisingly deep." I knew this a bout Emmett. He and I have had many deep conversations over the years. Granted not as often as others and one of these conversations I remember was the pros and cons of the doggy style position, but I knew that if I really needed it he would be there and would keep my secrets also.

"I know you are Emmett and I appreciate it. Its just I am having some feelings that are very new and I'm not sure what exactly to do with them." I hung my head embarrassed.

"Hey Car, don't be embarrassed. You are going through a lot its normal to be confused. Tell me what has you so confused and let the bear help ya out." He nudged me with his shoulder.

"Well, the other day when we arrived and I saw Peter and Jasper together I was hit with a feeling that at first I couldn't really identify. After thinking about it I realized that it was jealousy. I was jealous of him and the bond he had with Jasper. But I couldn't figure out why until today." Emmett was silent for what seemed like forever when I looked over at him he had a knowing look on his face. He just nodded and waved me on to continue.

"Well Jasper asked me about it later that day and I told him I was scared that he was going to leave the family to join Peter and Charlotte, I know they have a history. But he assured me that he wasn't leaving and the his destiny was here. But I have no idea what that means." I threw my hands up in frustration. I also went on to tell him about my break down in the office with the divorce papers, and how I felt in Jasper's arms when he hugged me.

"Car, I can understand why you are feeling confused and frustrated. You just got out of long term relationship, to put it mildly," he cracked up at that, "and you are dealing with new and very strong emotions. I think by now you know that Esme wasn't your true mate right?" I just nodded. "You need to talk to him. If he said that he isn't leaving you need to trust him, but I also think you need to explore these other feelings you are having towards him."

He was right I did need to talk to him but I wasn't sure I was comfortable enough with my own feeling and new found desires to do that yet.

"He's not going anywhere Car, just take your time. Make sure that what your feeling is real and not just a reaction to the situation." Again surprisingly insightful Emmett throws me.

"Your right I will. Don't worry I'll be fine, you know me I just over think everything."

"Maybe it's a good thing your mates an empath then he can rub off on you, in more ways then one!" He winked at me before taking off into the woods again. Wait did he just say MATE!

I mulled over that for a few minutes. Surely he was kidding. Right? Not that I would really mind it at this point, but could I get my hopes up? Could I let myself believe that someone as full of life and confident as Jasper would be even remotely interested in me. He was beautiful, stunning really. I desperately wanted to be his first kiss to show him how wonderful that act could be. I wanted him to trust me, to come to me with his problems, to comfort him when he is sad or overwhelmed. I wanted to spend nights in his arms, locked in passionate embraces, and spend hours of love making. That thought made me shiver.

I had never thought about having sex with a man. I had to admit that it made me very nervous. I knew that he had experience with other men, would he find me inadequate? Then there was the age old question who would, umm what is it they say, top. I knew that from being a doctor that anal sex for a man can be very pleasurable, especially if the prostate is stimulated but I had never done it. Esme and I never dabbled into that region in our time together. I was very curious.

What would it be like to taste him. To wrap my lips around his hard length. That thought had me hardening already. I could picture myself on my knees in front of him teasing, licking, sucking. The idea was very exciting.

I was quickly loosing myself in my new fantasies. When I was startled out of my thoughts by a throat clearing. I turned and looked over my shoulder and saw Jasper with a 100 watt smile lighting up his face.

"What's got you all flustered Carlisle?" He slowly walked over to join me on the log. I knew that he could feel the lust coming off of me.

"What's your relationship with Peter?" Shit I didn't mean to ask that. "I'm sorry Jasper its not my business I didn't mean too." Damn it I couldn't get anything right. I got up and started pacing.

"Carlisle," He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down next to him and turned so that I was facing him. "You can ask me anything, at anytime, ok?" I nodded my head in acknowledgement to him. "Good now to answer your question, Peter is my brother now, and nothing else." The now did not escape my notice.

"Now? What was he before?" I had to know.

"He hasn't been anything more then a brother, friend, and confidant in over 80 years. Yes when we were with Maria we, him, Charlotte, and I, had a different type of relationship. But it was only ever physical, a release, we helped each other deal with all the shit we saw and did by getting lost in the few moments of intimacy we were allotted. I love them but they are not my mates. Like I said we haven't been anything but brothers and sister for decades." I mulled it over in my head. I believed him of course but I still didn't like the idea of someone he had been so intimate with was around all the time. He said they were just friends and siblings but what if Peter or Charlotte didn't see it that way, what if they wanted more?

"I see." Was all I could manage.

"What's going on Carlisle? Why the sudden interest in my relationship with Peter?" He was sounding hopeful, why was that?

"I guess maybe I am still worried that you are going to want to leave to join them again or something." It was a lie. I knew it, and he knew it. The question now was, is he going to call me on it? I didn't have to wait long for an answer.

"I call bull shit!" He hissed out, "You know you can't lie or hide things from me. While there is some truth to your statement it isn't the only reason. TELL ME!" He demanded. Oh take control Jasper was hot. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair standing I started pacing again. This time he didn't stop me.

"Fine, I'm confused Jasper, I am feeling things I have never felt before. I am jealous of the bond you and Peter seem to share and I am confused as to why I would be. I have no claim on you." I finished lamely.

He stood in front of me in a flash holding my face in his hands, eyes burning into my soul.

"Do you want to have a claim on me?" He asked with no hesitation.

The million dollar question, did I want a claim on Jasper? Simply put yes I did. Did I think I was ready or good enough? No.

"I think, I am confused Jasper. You deserve someone who isn't broken, you deserve someone strong and confident. Do I want to claim you? Yes. Should I want to claim you? NO." I can't believe I am having this conversation.

I looked into his eye's and they softened from the fiery gaze. He stroked his hand along my jaw and I felt some calm wash over me.

"I know that she made you doubt that you are strong and beautiful and worthy of love. But I will show you that you are deserving of love even if it takes centuries. Carlisle you are compassionate, caring, loving, strong, loyal, beautiful, actually beyond beautiful. Looking at you can make me forget my name for Christ sake. You are everything I always wanted." He pulled me into a hug. "I know that you are nervous and have yet to come to terms with these new emotions and desires and that's fine Car, we have all the time in the world and I will wait for you to be ready." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. He wanted me, like he really wanted me, and he would wait.

"Thank you Jasper. I just need some time." He nodded, his face was mere inches from mine. I looked down at his lips and licked my own. I desperately wanted to kiss him but I wasn't sure if he was ready or if I was. I guess there would be only one way to find out.

I slowly moved my head closer to his and noticed his eyes flick to my lips also. I moved so we were mere centimeters apart willing him to move the rest of the way. I suddenly felt a fire shoot through me as his lips met mine in the lightest of kisses. His lips were so soft but hard at the same time. In that moment with his lips on mine everything was right in the world.

It was brief and he pulled back much sooner then I wanted and looked into my eyes like he was trying to gauge my reaction. I knew my eyes would be dark and not from thirst either. He must have seen something he liked there because in the next second his lips crashed into mine again.

This kiss was different it was riddled with years of pent up emotions and lust. I6 was fire and ice. I never wanted it to end. Kissing Jasper, I could tell, was going to become my new favorite past time.

Our lips were moving in sync with one another in the most delicious dance every created. He slid his tongue along my bottom lip asking for entrance which I eagerly welcomed. I got my fist taste of Jasper and it was heaven. He tasted like almonds, apples and something woodsy. It was all man and I loved it. His tongue was twisting in mine fighting for control which I gladly relinquished. He continued to explore my mouth as he pulled me closer to his body. When I came into contact with him my whole world exploded and I never wanted to leave his arms.

Just as quickly as it started it stopped as Jasper pulled away and looked at me with fear and trepidation in his face. Oh God did I do something wrong. This was his first kiss did he not want it to be with me. A feeling of despair washed over me. I had ruined everything before it even started.

"Shit Carlisle, I'm so sorry. You just said you needed time and here I am attacking you. I am so sorry." He was apologizing to me as he slowly started backing away. I didn't like that. I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him to me again as disbelief flashed onto his face. He thought he pushed me too far, he thought I was going to freak out.

"Jasper, relax it's ok. That was, wow." I leaned my forehead on his just breathing in his intoxicating scent. "I may not be ready for a full on relationship and all that goes with it. But I do want to start to move forward, slowly. I just, damn, that was your first kiss and fuck…" I trailed off as he started to chuckle.

"Carlisle, I have been dreaming of kissing you for 50 years. I only ever wanted you to be my first, and last kiss. Only you." My heart soared at his admission.

"Will you give me the time I need. I still need to heal. I want to be whole for you. I want to be the man you need." I was pleading with him to understand.

"You already are the man I need. But I will wait for you to be ready for me." I nodded at him and pressed my lips to his one last time.

"Let's go home shall we?" I held my hand out to him which he took as we moved towards home and a new beginning. For the first time in weeks I felt hope, and happiness.

Everything was going to be fine as long as I had the man that I was falling in love with I would make it through. All was right.

* * *

**A/N: so there you had the first kiss, I hope you all liked it! If you leave a review I may give you a little taste of the next chapter, just a little sneaky peak. Please let me know what ya'll think and how I am doing! Thanks!**

**Oh and don't think that just because they kissed its all going to be a walk in the park, lots more drama to come, and the age old question, who will top and who will bottom!! LOL  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: alright everyone here is the next chapter! Some drama in this chapter, and maybe a twist you didn't expect! **

**Again I would like to think my Beta who I think does a wonderful job, Jaspered01, love her!**

**JPOV:**

When Carlisle told me that he wanted to get a new vehicle I just figured it would be something similar to what he currently had. It was safe for him, he knew what he liked and stuck to it, that was fine. But when he said he wanted a truck my eyes nearly fell out of my head. He would look fuck hot behind the wheel of a truck. It nearly broke my heart when he said he wasn't "manly" enough to get one though. In that moment I cursed Esme to the 7th circle of hell for emasculating him for so many years.

I knew that we were going to have to work on his insecurities, it was a good thing I was a pretty patient man, vampire, whatever. It did break my heart though, seeing him so full of self-doubt. I knew that once he got over it, once he was comfortable with himself again he would be a force to be reckoned with. Once he was in a secure and mutually loving relationship I knew he would be fierce. We just had to get there.

After my hunt I went to find Carlisle and saw him sitting on a downed log. He looked so lost and beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off him. Then he started in on the lust and it was almost more then I could take. I had to stop his line of thinking before I lost it completely and threw him on the forest floor and had my wicked way with him.

The conversation that followed was interesting, and I felt my dead heart beat when he said that he wanted to claim me, only to falter again when he said that he wasn't ready or worthy.

Then there was the kiss. My first kiss was perfect and amazing. I didn't regret it for one second. He tasted just like I knew he would cinnamon, orange, and Carlisle. It was the only way to describe it. It was bliss, euphoric, and I never wanted it to end. Feeling his body flush against mine, sent me into overdrive and it took every ounce of will power I had not to start grinding my painfully hard erection on him. I was pretty damn sure he wasn't quite ready for that.

After a few more chaste kisses we made our way home hand in hand. I thought it was going to be the start of things moving forward and falling into place. But I was wrong.

When we got home things were awkward. We were stuck in a limbo. No longer just friends, but not lovers or full on mates yet. I think the limbo was worse. He was putting up walls and loosing himself in his mind again. Over thinking what happened and picking apart every little detail. He couldn't just feel and move on. There were times when I would feel the contentment coming off him, but then it would be replaced by feelings of worthlessness and vulnerability.

We were sitting on the porch relaxing and just enjoying the solitude and comfort of each others presence. There was no touching, kissing, holding hands nothing, but so far it was one of my favorite moments with him. For these few moments there was no doubt in him, there was no feelings of inadequacy. He was happy, content, and therefore so was didn't last. I smelled them before I saw them, so did Carlisle and I saw him stiffen instantly. A few seconds later Peter and Charlotte emerged from the woods in front of the house. I knew that Carlisle still felt threatened by my past relationship with Peter and Char and no matter what I told him it wasn't going to fix it. He was going to have to deal with the insecurities on his own and I hated it. I wish I could just snap my fingers and will him to be healed and strong, but I couldn't.

"Hey fucker, you aren't going to come say hello?" Peter's voice invaded my thoughts. I had to smile at him, I did love them both so much. I got up and made my way over where they were standing.

"Char I see you still haven't come to your senses and decided to leave the bastard!" I joked and pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you Jazz, you look well. Better then the last time." I knew what she was alluding to and I did not want to go there right now. Especially not before I had a chance to tell Carlisle about it.

"Yeah well it's amazing what not having to murder innocent people can do for ya." I gave her a stern look daring her to try and reveal more. She just smirked at me and nodded her head. I wasn't proud of what I had done back then.

During my journeys after I had broken away from Peter and Char for awhile, and before I knew about my future with Carlisle, I had been involved with another coven, more specifically a man in that coven. I knew he wasn't my soul-mate but I was lonely and he was attentive so I let it continue. I knew that his feelings ran much deeper then mine. He believed me to be his mate. I traveled with them for just under a year before I realized just how sadistic and twisted he and the other two members were. I left them and within the next month come across Alice and the rest was history, or so I had thought.

Thirty years ago when we went to see Peter and Char on our vacation we had a run in with the three of them, and it was not pretty. Before I could let my mind wander over the events that took place so long ago Peter pulled me into a hug. I felt a spike of jealousy and looked over my shoulder to see Carlisle watching us. I tried to give him a smile I hope was reassuring, and felt the jealousy slowly dissipate. That's good, but not enough he was still feeling hesitant and uneasy in their presence.

"So, brother," I loved that he made it a point to emphasis the brother bit, "the misses and I thought we would come and see how ya'll were settlin' in." He winked at me.

"Why thank ya kindly fer yer concern over us, but we settlin' in jus fine." I mocked his thick southern accent. Over the years I had managed to mask mine, only coming out when I was in a highly charged situation, Peter, however did not.

"I will not be mocked!" He yelled at me and pulled me into a head lock. I sent him a wave of sadness. He loosened his hold on me and collapsed on the floor sobbing like a baby. Char went over and kicked him the leg.

"Stop whining ya baby. Come on lets go visit and make nice with the neighbors." She linked her arm through mine and pulled me to the porch where Carlisle had been joined by Emmett who was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Petie!!" He called out to him, "I missed ya man I need someone to play with, neither of these two will leave their own personal bubble long enough to have fun with me!" I wanted so bad to face palm right now.

"Nice Emmett really, you jack ass!" He knew that Carlisle was still having issues accepting this and wasn't comfortable making a public declaration of anything yet. I was fine with that, I wanted him to be secure enough to do it himself.

We moved inside and up to the game room where Peter and Emmett proceeded to argue and fight over the differences between Halo and Call of Duty. I could careless. So Charlotte and I caught up a bit. Carlisle just sat there taking it all in.

"So how did the family take it when you told them you and Alice weren't actually married?" She inquired. She and Alice had hit it off quite well when we spent time together. They were both petite balls of energy that were fiercely loyal, and what you could call pit-bulls. They would hound and hound until they got what they wanted, be it information or an object. They both knew what they wanted and went after it with vigor.

"They took it better then I thought they would actually. But then again we had other things that were more pressing then my faux marriage." I informed her looking over at Carlisle who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh yes, the whore." She said before looking regretful and started trying to back peddle,

"I am so sorry Carlisle, I didn't mean too. I just mean, damn it! I'm sorry I just hate that she treated you that way." I felt a brief flash of defensiveness come off Carlisle, but was quickly replaced by anger. I didn't know if this was directed at Charlotte or Esme. I imagine the defensiveness was him wanting to stick up for the woman he had spent the better part of a century with, then the anger was probably him remembering what she had put him through.

"Its ok Charlotte, I understand. Thank you by the way for sticking up for me." She looked at him with a huge smile on her face.

"Well I feel like I know you already and I can't wait to actually have a relationship with you and your family. I think we will all be very close." I knew that Char was thrilled that I had found my mate and wanted nothing more than to pounce on him with a million different questions and learn every intricate part of who he was, but for me she was holding back, knowing that our relationship was still tilting on the edge of a knife. She didn't want to do anything to upset the certain balance we had found in our current state of limbo. I could tell she was having trouble restraining herself though.

"Carlisle have you thought anymore about what you are going to do next?" This question from Peter surprised me. We knew that we were going to be here for at least the next year or so. After that we were all moving to New Hampshire for us kids to attend school and I assumed he was going to be taking up a position at the hospital. So what was Peter getting at?

"Well I was thinking of actually going back to school with the rest of them. I haven't been to school in ages and thought it would be a nice change." I looked at him incredulously.

"Really? I had no idea you were considering school again. Are you sure that's something you want to do. Stop practicing medicine for so long?" I got hit with a sudden wave of indecision.

"Your right, being a doctor is what I am good at, I should just stick with what I know." He looked dejected. Damn it! I should never have questioned his desire to go back to school. I turned on the couch to look at him better, but not touching him. I knew he wouldn't feel comfortable with that yet.

"No, Carlisle, if you want to go back to school you definitely think you should. You would be good at anything you put your mind too." I wanted so bad to take him in my arms and help him see his full potential. "Why didn't you tell us this was something you were considering? You know we would support you no matter what."

"I know you would. It's just I haven't been anything other than Dr. Cullen for so long I don't know if I know how to be anything else." Emmett was shaking his head at us.

"Car, you are not defined by what you do. If you want to pursue other interests then I say go for it. Your brilliant, lend that mind to another industry for awhile." I am glad Emmett stepped up to help in this. Maybe if Carlisle heard this from more from other's then just me he would start to believe it.

"Do you have any idea of what you would want to study?" Charlotte asked him.

"I was thinking of Psychology, or Sociology this time around. I have also thrown around the idea of studying something in the arts. I have yet to decide." I desperately hoped that he decided to go to school with us instead of working again. It would be such a different dynamic to not have to pretend to be father and son.

"Well whatever you decide to study I am sure you will excel at it. You seem like a very intelligent man." Charlotte winked at him and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Well I think we should stop all this serious talk and play some pool! What are teams? I want Peter!" Emmett bellowed. Not realizing that we had an uneven number of people.

"I'll sit out you guys can play. I'm not very good anyway." Carlisle informed us.

"No, No, Carlisle, You and Jasper are on a team I absolutely despise this game." Char gave him a gentle nudge in our direction and I handed him a pool cue.

"I apologize in advance Jasper, like I said I am not very good." He took the cue and the chalk and started rubbing it on the tip.

"Not worries Car, it's just a game after all. Just have fun." He just nodded and went to break. We played several games, and yes he wasn't the best but he was no where near as bad as he had perceived himself to be, and we did have fun.

There was light banter between all of us and even some trash talk. I was floored when Carlisle actually started in on Emmett.

"I thought you said you were the master of this game Em, you play like a little girl." Carlisle informed him.

"He has a point Em, you are quite whinny when things don't go your way." Before I knew it I had a cue stick broken over the top of my head. I looked over at Emmett and picked up one of the pool balls and chucked it at him while his back was turned to retrieve a new cue. The ball shattered on impact leaving nothing but dust stuck to the back of his head. Carlisle, Peter, and Char were rolling on the floor laughing.

Emmett grabbed another cue and held it up in a fencing stance. Oh he wants to play, bring it on!

"ON GUARD!" I yelled and grabbed up my own cue. After several minutes of fancy foot work, and jab's we realized the reason pool cues were not meant to be used as swords. On one particularly hard hit against each other both cues splintered into hundreds of pieces.

We looked at the nubs that were left in our hands just cracking up.

"Touche! But now we have to start the game over." Emmett declared throwing his severely shortened pool cue to the side. It's a good thing we keep extra balls and cues around.

"So Emmett, how are you fairing being away from Rose for so long?" Char inquired.

"Damn Char you have no idea. Even with all the phone sex, and video chats, it really isn't the same! I think I am getting carpal tunnel syndrome or something." He was flexing his right hand out in front of him for emphasis.

"Well you are welcome to join Peter and I until she gets back if you would like." She winked at him as his eyes glazed over. His lust went through the roof for a split second then came back down to his normal everyday levels. Which for Emmett was considerably higher then the usual person. He shook his head to clear out whatever image had popped in his brain.

"Thanks for the offer Char, leave Petey out of it and I may just have to take you up on that offer." He hip checked Peter out of his way to line up his next shot. I was almost certain he was joking, almost.

We were tied two games each, and were getting back into the swing of competition after the "episode" when Emmett had to open his big mouth.

"Blue balls," He yelled out, "I mean blue ball corner pocket." I felt shame and anger come from where Carlisle was standing and instantly knew what he was thinking. He thought I had told Emmett that I was sexually frustrated and wanted more physically then I was currently getting. It happened in a split second. Carlisle glared at me with steal eyes, threw his pool cue on the table, was down the stairs, and out the front door in a flash.

I was livid!

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EMMETT!" I screamed at him.

"What I was insinuating that I was suffering from blue balls cause I haven't gotten laid since we've been here, what with Rose not being here." He was utterly confused as to what he had just done. I could see why he would be. We hadn't told him about our talk, or kiss in the woods, a few days prior.

"Shit. Emmett I know you didn't mean too, but, God damn it, Carlisle is already thinking he isn't good enough for me, and that I am going to get impatient waiting for him to be ready. He thinks you were insinuating that I had talked to you about things not moving fast enough." Emmett looked perfectly crestfallen at that.

"Damn I am sorry Jasper, I wasn't even thinking about that. Honest I had no idea you guys had even talked about stuff." I plopped down on the couch and buried my face in my hands. How was I going to fix this.

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Emmett was off and running before I could stop him. This could either be a monumental fuck up or He was going to fix stuff. Shit this is Emmett we are talking about!

Monumental Fuck Up's for $1000 please Alex!

"Don't worry Jasper, it will all work out." Peter came and sat next to me and flung his arm over my shoulders.

"I just don't know what to do to make him see that I am not going anywhere, and that I will wait forever if I have to. But no matter how many times I tell him, he doesn't seem to believe me. I hate that the bitch shattered him into a shell of the strong independent man I knew when we first joined them!" I ran my hand through my hair and tugged on it in frustration.

"That's because he has to find his self-worth on his own Jasper. If a person's value is wrapped up in others it will breed doubt and a lack of sense of self. But when the person truly knows of their worth and that it isn't placed on someone else, only then can they be truly free to be who they are." Damn all knowing philosophical pompous ass. He was right, I knew this, but I didn't like it.

"Emmett will talk to him, make him understand that he wasn't talking about him." It wouldn't matter the idea was already in his head. What was it going to take for him to realize I wanted him, that he was worthy, that he could trust me, and himself?

After a few hours of sitting around and waiting for them to come back I had had enough.

"I'm going to go find him." I informed Peter and Charlotte who were snuggled on the couch watching a movie.

"Kay. We'll be here." I nodded and made my way out to the forest.

I caught both their scents quickly and followed them for about 40 miles before I came upon them.

Emmett had his arm around Carlisle who was just staring out at the lake they had come across. Emmett turned when he heard me approach and I felt guilt and regret flowing from him. Apparently his talk didn't go as well as either of us had hoped.

Emmett got up and made his way over to me while Carlisle stayed still as a statue with his staring. As he passed me he mouthed a quick 'sorry' while patting me on the shoulder, before taking off for home.

I slowly made my way over and sat next to the love of my existence being careful not to touch him. I didn't know what to say, so I waited, hoping he would talk to me. It seemed like forever before he finally broke the silence.

"I'm sorry I thought you told Emmett." It was barley above a whisper and I could feel the anguish coming from him. "I had no reason to doubt you. But I can't seem to help it. I spent decades in a marriage that I find out was a total lie. So I am having trouble trusting at this point." I closed my eyes not wanting to see the hurt on his face. I took his hand in mine and was thankful that he didn't pull away.

"I understand Car, I really do, she destroyed you, and you are trying to rebuild yourself from the ground up." I started rubbing circles on the back of his hand in what I hoped was a soothing manner. "But I am here, I have been here for 60 years, and will continue to be here for eternity." I pushed a wave of sincerity out to him to hopefully get him to understand that I meant it.

"Jasper it's not that I don't trust you, because I do. My head understands this, but my heart is screaming at me to protect it. I know you want more and I want to give you more, but I can't yet. I want to be the man you want, the man that you met when you first came to us, but I am just not there yet, and I don't know what to do to get there." I sighed and squeezed his hand. I didn't know how to tell him to get there either.

"Car you have to understand that it doesn't matter to me that you aren't the man I met all those years ago. I'm glad your not. We all change and grow. Yes you are going through a rough patch and are feeling broken and run down. But I am in love with you not who you were or who you will become, but you!" I turned to look at him, "I will change over time, you will also, we will grow and learn new things, but what I want is for us to grow and learn together." I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He responded but not with as much vigor as he did last time. This kiss was one filled with self-loathing and doubt, and I hated it. I pulled away and rested my forehead on his.

"I'm sorry Jasper, shit," he pulled his hand out of mine and scrubbed it over his face "All I seem to be doing is apologizing and fumbling around. I miss feeling secure and strong. In the beginning with Esme I was so confident and assured of who I was. I was the leader of the Cullen clan," he puffed out his chest in pride, "I had a beautiful wife, wonderful, if not a bit eccentric, children, and a best friend that I could count on for anything. Now I am just floundering."

"Carlisle, you still have all that, aside from the wife. But you have the wonderful eccentric kids, the best friend that you can go to with anything, and you are still the leader of the Cullen clan. But you could also have so much more if you would just reach out and embrace it," I put my finger under his chin to lift his eyes to mine, "and this best friend isn't going anywhere. He will be there when you are ready. Remember 'love is just friendship, on fire.'" I let go of his jaw and move my hands back to my lap. Letting all this sink in for him.

"Thank you Jasper, for being so patient and understanding. I really am trying to work it all out." I went back to staring at the water.

"Did Emmett explain what he meant earlier to you?" I wanted to know what they talked about.

"Yes he did. He apologized for it coming across as something derogatory towards me, that was not his intention. I know that is just how Emmett is, but I just seem so fucking sensitive lately." He was shaking his head.

"Carlisle, that's to be expected," I was trying to make him feel better, but he interrupted me before I could continue.

"No, I know what he is like. I never should have taken it to mean anything other then Emmett being an idiot. We were all having a good time and I had to go and blow it with my new attempt and being all EMO and stuff." I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Emo?" Where the hell did he get that from. "Your not Emo Car, you have every reason to be a little sensitive." He nodded at me. He was trying to mask his emotions but you can only hide them so much. He was still feeling unsure, and distrustful.

"We should head back. It was rude of me to run out and leave Peter and Charlotte there." He stood up and started back to home.

"They understand." I told him catching up to him.

"They may understand but its still not an excuse." After that we spent the rest of the run home in silence. Each pondering what had just transpired.

When we got back to the house Emmett, Peter, and Charlotte were sitting in the family room waiting for us.

"Is everything alright?" Char asked.

"Yes," Carlisle smiled at her but it didn't reach his eyes. "I want to apologize for running off, it was rude and I should not have done it. Please forgive me." Back to polite Carlisle. That seemed to be his most comfortable mask.

"Don't worry about it Carlisle, Char and I had the chance to brake in the pool table while you guys were gone!" I groaned, I really didn't want to know about that. Especially not when I was so sexually deprived.

"Oh, well I hope you cleaned up after." He didn't seem the least bit phased hearing about their exploits, "I am going to go to my office. If anyone needs me I will be in there." With a nod he was out the door and back into his sanctuary.

I went to sit next to Emmett on the couch and he threw his arm around my shoulder pulling me into a brotherly embrace. I loved how he wasn't freaked out by the fact that I was gay, and still felt comfortable enough to show affection. I desperately needed it and it was clear I wasn't going to be getting it from Carlisle anytime soon. At that thought I wanted nothing more then to be able to cry myself to sleep.

Peter and Charlotte left several hours later after we had made plans to visit them in the next few days. I had yet to see their new place. It would be nice to get out of the house for awhile.

I retreated to my room to read and relax away from Emmett for a bit. I was still frustrated, albeit irrationally, with him. I pulled out one of my history books and curled into the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room. I loved this chair.

I tried getting involved in my book but my mind constantly kept running over everything that had happened in the last few days since the kiss. We had been making progress I was sure of it. But it seems like we took one step forward only to take two steps back. It was more the frustrating, it was enraging.

I know to an extent what he is going through being so lost and confused about who you are. I went through that after I left Maria's. I had only ever been a soldier, and warrior. Then to go from commanding an army to being a wanderer, well it took some adjustment. I was warring constantly with who I was and who I wanted to become. I knew I would always have aspects of the Major in me. I couldn't ever give up the control that he provided me, the sense of self that came with the persona, but I knew I was so much more then just the Major, or the God of War.

That is where Carlisle is right now. Stuck in between Carlisle Cullen the doctor, and Carlisle Cullen the man. He must find himself on his own, and it is ripping me apart to know the inner turmoil he is experiencing. I can't even begin to imagine having your lover cheat on you. I had never thought I was in love. I had been in one actual relationship, or as close to a relationship as I could have gotten at the time.

I had been fond of him. We had some amazing times. We also had some really fucked up times. We did things that I am not proud of. Things I haven't even told Alice, things that ultimately lead to the destruction of the relationship. Not that I can say I truly mourned its demise. I did feel bad to an extent. I knew that his feelings for me ran much deeper then mine, as deep as a sadistic fucks emotions can run that is, but I did care for him to a certain extent.

I remember the day I knew I had to leave him with such clarity. I had been getting more and more depressed with each feeding. I would try to go as long as possible with out caving into my bloodlust, but he seemed to thrive on the killing. I didn't know the depths of his depravity until I had walked in on him feeding from a young boy who couldn't have been more then 12 or 13. The only thing was, he wasn't just feeding from him, he was violently raping him. I was disgusted. I NEVER fed off children, and I NEVER forced myself on anyone. The image of that day will forever be burned into my memory. Even though I was able to escape him, I could never escape the horror that day caused me. I knew that true evil existed in the world. I had thought I had seen that evil in Maria's army. I knew then that if I lived for eternity nothing would come close to the vile act I had walked in on that day.

I had known it was to late tpo save the boys life but I could at least make his death quicker then he was. That was the first, last, and only time I ever killed a child, and I will do my penance for that act the rest of my days. I would have killed _him _also, unfortunately while I was "helping" the boy he managed to get away.

It took me years after that to realize that I was worthy of love, and forgiveness. With Alice and the rest of the family's help I learned that while, yes, I had done some terrible things, it was what I choose to do in the future, and the decisions I made moving forward that would define who I was. So I knew better then anyone the internal battle that Carlisle was facing. He was fighting his demons and only time would tell who would come out on top.

* * *

The next few days passed in a exceedingly boring manner. We hardly saw Carlisle and when I tried to talk to him the conversations were very cyclical.

The day we decided to visit Peter and Charlotte, Carlisle chose to stay home. I really hoped that he would be able to get out of his own head and talk to me soon. I know he is analytical but sometimes talking things out is the only way to come to a conclusion.

Maybe Peter and Char would be a good distraction for me.

Emmett and I decided to drive. We took the Mercedes on the off chance Carlisle decided he needed the truck for something. I still couldn't get over the fact that he had gotten that thing. It was a huge symbolic step for him. He had also started to dress differently. Gone were the polo's, and sweater's tied around his neck. He had also traded in his scarf's for plain t-shirts, and low riding jeans, and more often then not he went around the house barefoot. The image of him in those loose jeans with no shoes on made my jeans uncomfortably tight. I don't think that man has any clue what he does to me.

"Hey fuckers," I heard Peters distinct voice as we exited the car, "Welcome to Casa De La Pedro!" I snorted.

"Nice Peter, good to see you too!" He was always so crass. But we love him anyway.

We hugged and joked as we made our way inside. Char was giving me a tour while Emmett decided to explore on his own. The house was very beautiful, simple in it's elegance. She was just showing me the library when I heard Emmet scream. I ran as fast as I could to where he was. I had no idea why he would be screaming but it couldn't be good.

"What the hell, what's wrong?" I rounded the corner and saw Emmett staring at something on the far wall. I turned my head to see where he was looking and nearly came in my pants.

On the far wall was undoubtedly the largest flat screen TV I have ever seen.

"Jesus Christ, Peter, you never do anything small do you!" I shouted at him. "You over compensating for something. Have a little shrinkage in the years since I last saw Petey Junior?" I elbowed him in the ribs. Emmett was starting to drool venom down his chin.

"Fuck off Whitlock, I like my toys big, and I am pretty sure Char aint complaining in the size department." He threw his arm around her and she just rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh yeah nothing to complain about there, swizzle stick!" That was enough to break Emmett out of his entertainment box stupor.

"Aw, Pete, you lacking in the wang department. You know they have pills for that these days. I wonder would they work us?" He looked deep in thought for a minute and I could tell this was going to be interesting. "Speaking of pills, do you thank that Viagra would work on us? I mean not like I need it or anything. But it sounds like something Pete should invest in." He slapped Peter on the back wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"First Em, no they wouldn't affect us, our system won't absorb them. Second, you don't need them, you are pretty much rock solid all the time anyway, ya know cause of being like marble!" I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

"Good point! Man can you imagine though, wouldn't suck to actually need that stuff. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't get it up." He looked positively horrified at the idea.

"I'll have to let you know how that feel when Rose comes back," I told him, "Some night when you and her are getting all hot and heavy, I'll toss out mass amounts of lethargy, and down ya go. No more hard on for you."

"You wouldn't!?" I quirked an eyebrow at him in challenge. "Ok you would just cause your evil and since your not getting any don't want anyone to!" He pouted.

We congregated in the living room and just talked, and caught up some more, telling stories of past exploits.

"…..then the principal caught Emmett in the storage closet buck ass naked." I was telling the story how Edward and I got back at Emmett for putting super glue on the TV remote ten years ago when my phone chirped.

_**I'm sorry Jasper……**_

It was from Alice. What the hell is she sorry about.

_**Why?**_

Was my simple reply.

_**He made a split decision, you won't be able to stop him, so don't try. **_

What the hell! Then it dawned on me. Carlisle. I didn't bother to answer her text before I was out of my seat and out the door in a matter of seconds. I pealed out of the driveway leaving Emmett in the dust as he followed me.

I was pushing the car faster then I ever had before. Twenty minutes later I was pulling into our house. I didn't even turn off the car as I ran inside calling his name the whole time.

I made my way to his office first only to find it empty. I knew it was futile but searched the rest of the house and surrounding property. The truck was gone so I knew he wasn't there, but I had to check anyway. Once I had exhausted everywhere he could be in the area I made my way back to his study. I was sitting at his desk trying to figure out what the hell was going on when I noticed a note addressed to me on the desktop.

With shaky hands I reached for it. I wasn't sure I was ready to see what was written in that note but I knew I had to. I opened it taking a deep breath to calm my nerves.

It read:

_Jasper, _

_I am sorry for being such a coward and leaving like this. I know this is going to hurt you, all I seem to do is hurt you, and for that I am eternally sorry._

_I needed to get away for awhile. I don't know when I will be back. I need to discover who I am with out pressure, no you don't pressure me, it's the pressure I am putting on myself. I want to be strong and steadfast for you. I know my actions seem to negate that point, but this is something I feel like I have to do._

_Please know that I do have feelings for you, I know that you are my future, my love, my soul. But I need to heal before I can be those things for you. Please forgive me._

_Love eternal, Carlisle_

I growled in frustration and crumpled up the note as I realized he really was gone. I quickly pulled out my phone but it started ringing before I had a chance to dial.

"What the Fuck Alice, I thought you said our future had been solidified!?" I hissed at her.

_"Calm down drama queen, I said it was clearer but I never said it was going to be all blue skies and clear sailing!" _She snapped at me.

It's true she didn't, but damn I never expected this.

"You're right I'm sorry, so what the fuck do I do now?" I was desperate.

_"You wait, give him the space he needs to work it out." _So not what I wanted to hear. I sighed as I realized that was all I was going to get from her.

"Alright, I'll wait. I just hope your right." With that I slammed the phone shut.

The seriousness of the situation hits me.

He left. He left me. With that I crumble to the ground.

I don't know how long I laid there in my own little trance. It wasn't until I heard Emmett and Peter coming in the house that I finally moved from the fetal position I had assumed.

"Where the fuck are you, you little shit!" Emmett hollers out.

"In here Em." I called out to him.

"You better have a damn good reason for leaving me in the dus……" He stops mid word when he sees me on the floor where I had managed to sit up, but not fully leave. "What the fuck happened?" He comes and squats in front of me. I just hold the note out for him to read.

"Well fuck me sideways. That sucks monkey balls dude. I'm sorry. Did you call Alice?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

"Yes, she said he would be back, but didn't know when. She said to give him time. I was giving him time. I don't understand why he had to leave!" I was being a whiny bitch but I didn't care. Even if we weren't "together" just knowing he was here, being able to talk to him, or just see him, made me feel complete.

"Well then I suggest you just trust her. Let him work his shit out. Once he knows who he is, and what he wants he will be back, and you can have him all to yourself." I snorted at him and pulled myself off the floor. Every second knowing that he was away was ripping a whole in my chest. I didn't know how I was going to get through this.

"Hey," Peter called out from the doorway, "It will be ok. I can feel it. Whatever is going to happen will push you two together. Remember I know shit!" He poked me in the chest to emphasis his point.

"If you say so." I turned to look at Emmett. "Sorry for leaving you there. I just had to get here as quick as I could, not that it helped.

I had holed myself in my room for 3 weeks not leaving for anything, not even to hunt. I didn't want to leave the house incase he came back, and it hurt to much to try and function with out him here. Yes I realize the hypocrisy of my actions. I was preaching at him to live life and move on without Esme, and here I am wallowing is self pity and regret. But in all fairness Esme wasn't his soul mate! I feel like half of me is missing.

I haven't spent more the 3 days apart from Carlisle in 60 years. When Alice and I went on our vacation 30 years ago to visit Peter and Char we cut our trip short because Alice couldn't take my mood. This was torture. The only thing that kept me from going mad was the occasional text I would get from him letting me know he was ok. They were like a beacon on a dark night pulling me through the fog.

"That's it fucker get up You have to hunt! You are pushing the edge man!" I hadn't even noticed Emmett had entered my room. My senses must be diminished from not hunting for so long. This could be bad. What if some tasty stranger decided to pay a visit and I couldn't control myself cause I was to self absorbed to hunt.

"Alright let's go." We ran out to the woods and split up. Without even realizing where I was going I suddenly found myself at the same small clearing Carlisle and I had our first kiss.

I collapse on the log and bury my head in my hands. I can feel the despair wash over me. It's so strong that I don't realize I was no longer alone in my grief until I heard the one voice I had prayed to a God I was sure existed at this point, because if He did I would never have been face to face with this monster again.

"Well, well, well, look who I stumble across. I have been looking for you for a long time Jasper." Before I can respond I'm pinned to a tree staring into the eyes of pure evil.

"James." I seethe.

"Did you miss me baby? I was pretty hurt when you up and left me. I took it kinda personally." I was struggling but my lack of sustenance in the last 3 weeks had left me lacking strength.

I manage to kick him off me and hoped that Emmett was somewhere in the area and will hear the commotion. I sank down into my defensive crouch hoping I would be able to hold him off long enough for help to arrive, because I knew I wasn't going to come out of this fight on top.

James was ruthless and even on my best days he was a fighter to be reckoned with, and this was definitely not my best day. Quicker then I could respond he was lunging at me. I tried to side-step him but he caught my shoulder throwing me off balance. He took the opportunity to pounce this time pinning me to the ground.

He was on top of me straddling my chest, his legs hooked around mine to keep me from knocking him off again and my arms trapped above my head with one of his hands. I felt weak and helpless. I didn't like it.

"Jasper is it just me, or have you gone soft?" He chuckled darkly. "You used to be more of a challenge."

"Get off of me you sick fuck!" I yelled and bucked trying to throw him off, but to no avail.

"Oh, precious, you say such sweet things." He laughed. The hand that wasn't holding my arms came up to stroke my cheek, down my jaw and rested on my throat gently stroking along my adams apple. "You left. I tried hunting you but every time I got close you would move and I would have to start from scratch again. I was almost thinking you didn't want me anymore," He leaned in to whisper in my ear, "and we both know that's not true don't we?" He licked the shell of my ear, making me shiver in disgust.

"I left 'cause I realized what a sick, sadistic, evil fuck you really were. You forced me to kill a CHILD!" I screamed out. He clucked his tongue like he was scolding a child.

"Jasper we both know I didn't force you to do anything. You could have just left and let me have my fun, but no, and now you have to live with the guilt of knowing that poor Bobby never got to grow-up and live his life." I growled at him and continued to buck trying to find a way to get him off me.

"Oh, shit baby, keep doing that, fuck I missed you, you know I like it when you fight." Horror flooded my mind as I realized what he was going to do.

"NO, NO, NO!! I am not yours, you can't have me!" I was thrashing wildly trying to find any weakness in his hold but came up empty yet again.

He punched me hard in the jaw and screamed in my face.

"YOU ARE MINE! ONLY MINE!" He moved to whisper in my ear again, "and I am going to prove it to you." He moved down my body. His free hand ripping my shirt off as he licked and nipped at my chest. He reached down with his free hand and started palming me through my jeans. My body couldn't stop its reaction to his ministrations despite my willing it otherwise.

"See I knew you wanted me. You can try and deny it all you want, but your body knows who it belongs to."

There was nothing to stop him from taking what he wanted. I was just trying to block everything out at this point as he continued his assault on me. I stopped fighting and was giving up when I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.

"You're wrong! He's MINE!" Quicker then I could see James weight was off me and I could see him pinned to a tree on the other side of the small clearing.

* * *

**A/N: I know cliffy!! OMG well if you leave me reviews I will post faster, also if you leave me review I will give you a small preview of the next chapter! Remember reviews help us all improve and encourage us, so please be kind leave me your love!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ok guys here is the next chapter for you!! Carlisle's point of view of course. Going back to find out why he left and where he goes. Good times! LOL**

**As always thanks to my fantastic beta Jaspered01! Much love to ya! Also to everyone that has sent review, thank you for the love, please keep it coming!**

**CPOV:**

Coward. That's the only thought running through my head as I make my escape. I know this is going to hurt him, but no more then I already am. I needed time and space. I had to get my head and heart inline with each other, and I couldn't do that here with him muddling up my emotions. No he wasn't playing with my emotions with his power, but with his mere presence. Every time I was in the same room as him my thought process came to a complete halt.

After the incident with Emmett I knew I had to do something to get stuff worked out. Though it still didn't change the fact that I had turned tail and ran. What kind of man does that? _One that's broken. _My inner therapist answered for me. Can't argue with that I guess. Didn't really make me feel better though. I felt like I was letting Jasper down, again.

I had known in my head that Emmett wasn't referring to me and Jasper when he made the blue balls comment but for some reason, some irrational part of my brain, just took it and ran. Maybe it was the catalyst I need to realize that I hadn't come as for as I had initially thought I had. Maybe I was looking for reasons to freak out because I really hadn't come to terms with my relationship with Jasper like I thought I had.

I knew I wanted Jasper. I knew I loved him to a point. I just wasn't sure I was ready to be _in_ love with him yet. Why does my damn mind have to make everything so complicated! I have someone that I knew is in love with me, wants me, wants to take care of me, be there for me, someone who is my soul mate, yet I can't get my head out of my ass enough to just accept it. Damn it!

I was driving to Alaska. I decided to visit our extended family for a time. I didn't know how long I was going to stay but I was hoping Eleazar would be able to help me figure some stuff out. He, aside from Jasper, was one of my closest friends and confidantes.

As I started the 49 hour long driver to Denali, Alaska I let my mind wander. I wondered what Jasper was doing. Had he found the letter? Was he angry? Hurt? Would he ever be able to forgive me for abandoning him like this? What if he decided I wasn't worth it after all? My mind was starting to work itself into a tizzy. I thought about turning the truck around so many times, it took everything I had in me to keep moving forward. The further away I got from Jasper the more the despair set in. It felt like my chest was being ripped open.

I decided to focus more on some of the changes I had made in my life. Some were pretty simple like getting the truck and changing my wardrobe, which I loved. Jeans were so damn comfortable. Other changes were not quite as easy. The decision I made to stop being a doctor, for awhile anyway, was one of the hardest in my existence. I felt that I needed to take some time away from it though. In reality I was looking forward to being a college student. I knew this was going to change the family dynamic for awhile, but I wasn't sure that was a bad thing.

We would have to pose as siblings or friends when we went to school. I had never been to school with any of them and from some of the stories I had heard I can imagine it would be a lot of fun. Something I could definitely use more of in my life. The main question at this point was, what would I study? I had been mulling this over for weeks and was no closer to a decision then I was when I first decided to go to school.

The thought of pursuing a degree in something like Psychology was appealing but I wondered if it was too close to my current field to really give me the reprieve I was seeking. I could always study Education. Maybe teach for a few decades. That was an idea to ponder. I had centuries of knowledge I could impart on future generations.

Thoughts of me being a teacher while the rest of the family went to high school was appealing. I was suddenly picturing sneaking around with Jasper in the school, doing things to him that a teacher is absolutely forbidden to do. I moaned out loud into the silent cabin at the thought of him bent over my desk in a classroom calling me Mr. Cullen.

"Shit!" I cursed my suddenly over active imagination. I was completely aware of the shit storm that would occur were we ever caught. Not only would he be my student but also my adopted child. We would have to move quicker then a fat kid in dodge ball. Well we would figure it out. I had to admit I was growing excited at the idea of doing something new and challenging. Being a doctor had become mundane. Yes I enjoyed being able to save lives, who wouldn't, but I had been doing it so long that I honestly didn't feel the passion for it that I once had.

I had to pull over to get gas several times but was making pretty decent time. If I drove straight through, which there was no reason for me not to, I should be able to make it in three days. I wonder if Alice called to inform them I was coming. Just as I was thinking this my phone buzzed with a text.

_Car, I called ahead for you they are waiting. Don't worry this will be good for you. We love you~ Alli_

I sent a quick reply.

_Thank you Alice, could you just make sure he is ok for me? I know this is going to hurt him.~ Car_

The reply was almost instantaneous.

_Of course I will. You could still text him and let him know you're alright. It would help ease his worry. But this time will be good for you both. ~ Alli_

I wondered at her text. Should I text him and stay in contact or would that negate the reasons why I left.

_I'll think about it Alice. Give my love to everyone, and don't worry. ~ Car_

After my brief contact with Alice it hit me how much I missed the other members of our family. The ease in which we all interacted. Well the way they interacted with each other. I had always been more or the quiet observer to their antics. I was just starting to see that for decades I have been a casual observer in my life and my family. Going through the motions but never really participating. I made a vow to myself that I would be a more active member of the family unit.

Yes when we had family issues or meetings I was the one that headed them and had the final say in what course of action we took. But I haven't really been and active participant in any of their daily lives for quite some time and I missed it. It makes me wonder how long I have lived in my fog.

I missed Alice's crazy interference in my life and wardrobe. I missed joking around with Emmett, and having the intense political and philosophical debates with Edward. I missed being one of the only ones that got to see the soft heart that Rose possesses, or seeing the gentle, caring nature in which Bella deals with all of us.

It did not escape my notice that in my inner dialog not once did one thing I missed about Esme come up. This was a break through! Realizing that there wasn't one thing about Esme that I was truly missing. Yes, I missed the companionship and the security, but nothing about her herself.

When I first met Esme, when she was 16, she still had the wide eyed innocence. The naivety that appealed to the moral side of me. When I found her eight years later dying in the morgue all I remembered was the bright shinning youthful exuberance. I never took into consideration what she might have been through, or that she could have changed so much in eight years.

It was really quite stupid on my part. Of course she would have changed but I never considered a bitter, angry, self indulgent, whore would have taken her place. She hid it well from all of us (except Alice and Jasper) for so many years. Yes what she went through with her husband was horrible, but I have always been a firm believer that we choose how we let circumstances mold us. She had the chance at a loving, fulfilling relationship and she chose to throw it away.

Wait a minute, shit! Wasn't I doing the same thing? Letting what happened in my past dictate my future? I was letting my insecurities cost me the one thing I ever wanted. Unconditional love, and fuck all if I knew what to do about it.

After driving for days and coming no closer to a solution I arrived at the homestead. With in seconds the whole family was out the door greeting me.

"Carlisle, good too see you. Albeit I wish it was under better circumstances." Eleazar took my hand and pulled me into a one armed man hug.

"Thank you old friend. I just needed some time to get my head together." He nodded at me letting me go so I could greet the rest of them. Carmen came crushing into me next.

"I am so sorry Carlisle, none of us had any idea." Her and Esme had always been closer then the others. I rubbed her back gently as she shook with quite sobs.

"Shh, it's ok Carmen, she fooled us all. It will be ok, I will be ok." I assured her. She just nodded and stepped away. I turned to the girls and suddenly felt like a piece of meat. They were, each one of them, eyeing me like a man that had been lost in the dessert just finding water. Shit, I forgot about the Succubus sisters.

Before I could think all three had me in an embrace. My face was shoved in someone's chest and another was rubbing up and down my back while the other was stroking my hair. I was incredibly uncomfortable. I looked over to Eleazar hoping for some help, he was just laughing at me. Bastard.

"Ok girls why don't you go hunt. We will get Carlisle settled in." Carmen came to my rescue. They each kissed me on the cheek before running off into the woods.

"Thank you Carmen." I went around the bed of the truck to get my bag and followed them inside.

"Carlisle, I have got to say I like the truck, it suites you." Eleazar observed. I nodded and we continued inside.

Carmen showed me to the guest room and told me to meet them downstairs after I settled in. I dropped my bag on the floor and went to look out the window at the surrounding foliage. It was so beautiful here and calming.

I decided to text Jasper to let him know where I was and that I was ok and sorry. Once that was done I went down to meet up with Carmen and Eleazar.

I joined them in the sitting room that overlooked the forest and sat in the giant chair opposite the couch facing them.

"So what's going on Carlisle. I know it's more then just Esme leaving. You have your family to help with that. So what's the deal?" Eleazar always straight to the point.

"Your right it is more." I ran my hands through my hair as they waited for me to continue. "I apparently found my true mate." I dropped the bomb.

"Well congratulation's, but I am still confused. If you found your true mate then why leave?" Carmen's voice was one of true concern.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this so I am just going to come out with it." I took a deep breath. "It's Jasper." I turned my head not wanting to see the judgment on their faces.

Neither one said anything for what felt like ages so I chanced a glance at them. I saw shock, and understanding, but no judgment. Only love and acceptance.

"So you ran because it's a man, your mate?" Eleazar prodded.

"What, NO, God No." Really the fact that he was a man, while at first was weird, had nothing to do with me leaving, ok I didn't have much to do with my leaving. Carmen quirked her eyebrow at me telling me she didn't fully believe me. "Ok so that maybe part of it, but that is such a small reason really." I defended.

"Then what is it Car, we want to help you but can't if we don't know the full story." Carmen's gentle assurance was all I needed and proceeded to tell them everything from what happened with the fight with Esme, to my kiss with Jasper, and the overreaction to Emmett's comments. I talked about the jealousy I had with Peter and about my insecurities about not being who he needs me to be.

"It's just he is so strong and has been through so much and overcome so many things. I want to be everything to him. I want to be the strong mate he needs and wants me to be." I sighed finishing telling them everything.

"Carlisle, if you truly are his mate, then you already are all those things to him. You just have to believe it." Jasper had told me the same thing many times I don't know why I just couldn't wrap my head around it. "It's not your fault you feel insufficient after what she," Carmen spat that out for emphasis, "did to you! She lied to you for years, and when she finally did come clean she proceeded to try to blame everything on you!" She paused only to have Eleazar pick up where she left off.

"She pushed her own guilt off on you. Nothing that happened was your fault. If she was unhappy she should have just left instead of cheating." ." Yes that had been said many times, but I am not sure I would have been able to get over it if her true colors hadn't come through in the end. If she had just up and left I may have spent years or decades waiting for her to come back. This way I knew with out a shadow of a doubt that she was not it for me.

That knowledge however did not stop the feeling of epic fail I had. I told them all this also and they just nodded in understanding.

"Carlisle, you have been one of my closest friends for centuries. I have always admired you and the man that you are. You have always been strong, loyal, and caring. You stand up for what you believe in, and fight for those you love. Now you have to face your toughest fight. Yourself," He looked at me pointedly, "you have to fight your past beliefs, your fears, and feelings of inadequacies, but the reward for winning this fight is much greater then any other you could possible receive." I knew he was right.

"I know Eleazar. I just needed some time to get my head and heart to agree. You know me constantly analyzing everything." I chuckled at myself. I lived my life examining everything like it was under a microscope. Maybe it was time to stop doing that and just feel things, live my life instead of just examining it.

"I know my friend. You are welcome to stay here and 'get your shit together' as they say. But don't linger long something's can only be remedied when faced head on."

"Thank you." They really were the best friends I had. Aside from Jasper. Which reminded me.

"Oh Carmen, Eleazar, I would appreciate it if you would not tell the sisters the reason behind my visit. I don't need them trying to 'help fix it' if you know what I mean?" I knew that if they knew my mate was a man they would think they needed to try to convince me otherwise. I did not want to deal with their advances.

"Of course. We can't promise that it will deter them in their pursuit of you though. They were ecstatic to here that you and Jasper were now 'free men' as they put it." He laughed at that. "If they only knew!" I joined in the laughter. I would love to see their faces when they hear this little bit of information.

We spent the next several hours catching up on life. Eleazar was telling me about his occasional work with the Volturi. While I admit that I may not always agree with their methods, they are a necessity in our world. A world with out laws is chaos and with our nature, without the threat of punishment if those laws are broken, the world would be a much more dangerous place then it already is. Vampires would run a muck.

I have been here for about two and a half weeks. Not really getting into anything deep with anyone. Just catching up and being left alone with my own thoughts for the most part. Luckily for me the sisters seemed to sense that I wasn't really here to socialize and for the most part kept their distance. There was a time or two when I had to stave off an advance from one of them. But in general it wasn't too bad.

I laid on the bed and went over what Eleazar and Carmen had told me. It was nice to hear that they thought so highly of me and accepted the idea of me and Jasper together. What Carmen had said about Esme placing her guilt on me and twisting things to make them seem like they were my fault was something that warranted more thought.

I did nothing but love and provide for her for decades. If she was unhappy she should have damn well talked to me about it. They were right. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. Anger was very rare for me. Was this one of the stages of the healing process? I felt the sudden urge to hit something. I hadn't felt this since that day with Jasper in the study.

I did some deep breathing to calm myself down some more and just laid there trying to get past the anger by thinking about something else. That's when Jasper popped into my head. I really truly had missed him over the last few weeks. I text him on occasion just to make sure he was doing ok. He always responded the same. _I'm fine. _I knew he was hurting. I was starting to play with the idea of heading back. I did still have to think about a few things though. Mostly, at this point, they were things that had to do with our relationship and future. A future that I was closer and closer to accepting everyday.

Jasper had been almost constantly running through my head and my thoughts were steadily becoming more and more sexual. Thinking about he kiss and how I wanted more, remembering the feel of his mouth on mine. His slick tongue begging for entrance. The amazing taste of him. I groaned out in frustration. Why when now that I wanted him here, to kiss him, hold him, and explore this more, was he not here. Oh, yeah cause I am a fucking pussy and ran away!

My mind started to wonder to other things he could do with his mouth and I felt myself growing hard with the thoughts of Jaspers lips wrapped around my solid length. I still had yet to explore the whole masturbation thing but I was alone in the house so maybe now would be the time to do so. It seemed a shame to let a good hard on go to waste.

I lowered my hand to the waist band on my jeans and popped the button. Slowly I removed the offensive articles of clothing that concealed the place I needed attention the most.

My hand wrapped around my painfully hard erection and I hissed in pleasure. I started pumping myself with vigor. The feeling was new and foreign and I liked it. How had I let myself miss out of this all these years! I was giving myself over to the sensations. My mind was imagining that it was his hand wrapped around my steel rod and not my own. He was moving his free hand slowly over me in the most delicious ways teasing and pinching my nipples, while his other worked me into a frenzy. Whispering sweet words of love and devotion in my ear. It was everything I ever wanted. The only problem was it wasn't his hand and he wasn't here reassuring me with his passionate words, and it was my own fault.

My eyes were closed and I was getting lost in my fantasy when I was snapped back to reality by a voice that indeed did not match the one in my head.

"Did you want some help with that Carlisle?"

What the hell everyone was suppose to be gone hunting! I quickly moved to cover myself only to find Irina straddling my waist. Shit what the hell.

"Irina please," I was trying to tell her to get off me but was cut off by her mouth attacking mine. This was nothing like kissing Jasper. This was not sweet, or caring. This was her forcing this on me and I wasn't going to fucking take it. I pushed her back hard causing her to fall to the floor.

"I did not give you permission to kiss me!" I spat at her with more venom then I had ever used on anyone.

"Came on Carlisle, you know you are in need of a good fuck. Why deny it. I'm willing and you know I am attractive." I snorted at that. At one point I probably would have thought all the sisters were attractive. I guess by most men's standards they would be. But not to me, not anymore.

"Irina, unless you happen to grow a pair or balls and a dick and change your name to Jasper you have no hope of getting in my pants!" She was looking at me in shock and disbelief doing an amazing impression of a gold fish. Then she suddenly started laughing uncontrollably.

"That's funny Carlisle, you had me going there for a minute." She started moving to her knees in front of me and reached out to grab my cock. I took hold of her wrist before she could get a hold. She looked up at me again with uncertainty this time.

"I was not joking. Jasper and I are mates. The only reason I came here was to get my head together after Esme left. Now if you would kindly get out so I can pack and get back home that would be much appreciated." I threw her hand back at her. She threw me a look of disgust and scurried out of the room with out another word.

Having her kiss me made me realize that the only one I wanted to kiss was Jasper. The only one I wanted to be with, spend time with, and hold, or talk to, was Jasper. I wanted my mate. I had to get home. NOW.

* * *

I was in my truck driving home. Home to Jasper. I would make things right. I would not let my past fears rule me anymore. I knew what I wanted and I was going to fight to get it.

I was almost home when my phone buzzed. I looked down, Alice. I had talked to her right after I left Alaska she was happy I was going home. I picked it up only to hear her frantic yells on the other end.

"_Car, you have to hurry, Jasper went hunting and a rouge vampire came across him and attacks him, you have to get to him." _She was almost hysterical.

"What do you mean they attack him? Is he going to be ok? He can fight them off right?" I was starting to panic. Surly he could fight off one lone vampire. He was the Major for crying out loud.

"_You don't understand. He is weak he hasn't fed since you left. He can't fight him off. Please you have to get there." _She was pleading. I could hear the rest of the family in the background. Where was Emmett why wasn't he helping? Why had he let himself get so weak? Better question was where was he? I didn't have time to track him.

"Alice do you know where he is?"

"_He is at the small clearing where you had your first kiss. I tried calling Emmett but his phone is off and he is too far away." _She was sobbing. I threw the truck into park and bolted into the woods, leaving it on the side of the road. We could get it later.

"I'm on my way. I will get to him, I will." I was trying to convince myself more then her at this point. I couldn't loose him now that I just came to terms with wanting him.

"_Hurry!" _That was her only reply. No reassurances that I would make it. I hung up on her and pushed myself hard then I ever had before. My only thought was to protect my mate.

I caught his scent and started following it after a few miles I also got the scent of another male vampire. I was straining to see if I could hear anything when I was met with frantic pleas.

"NO, NO, NO!! I'm not your's you can't have me!" I could hear the terror in his voice and it spurred me on to move faster.

"YOU ARE MINE! ONLY MINE!" I heard the unknown male scream. He said something else to Jasper but it was too quite to make out.

I got to the clearing and was shocked by what I saw. The male vampire was on top of Jasper rubbing him in the most intimate of ways. Jasper was fighting wildly to try and get him off of him, but was having no success.

"See I knew you wanted me. You can try and deny it all you want, but your body knows who it belongs to." I heard the male whisper in Jaspers ear and I instantly saw red! Something snapped inside me, some primal urge that lay dormant for centuries bubbled to the surface.

"You're wrong! He's MINE!" I screeched out and lunched myself across the clearing. He was trying to claim what was MINE and I would not let it happen! Jasper belonged to no one but me.

I wanted to rip this ass hole apart but first I wanted some answers.

"Who the fuck are you?" I yelled at him while pinning him to a tree. He was struggling but honestly I was stronger. Go figure.

"Fuck off ass hole, I was coming to get what's mine!" Wrong answer.

"Wrong fucking answer!" I pushed my forearm into his neck, growling and baring my teeth at him. He managed to find purchase with his knee and landed it into my stomach throwing me off. I looked over to see Jasper was trying to get up when this man was suddenly behind him holding him in a choke hold against his chest.

"Jazzy, baby, who is this?" The man licked up the side of Jaspers face and I hissed in response. Obviously these two had a history, and from the looks of it not a pleasant one. I could see the panic and terror on Jaspers face.

"Let him go and leave and I might let you live." I threatened him.

"I will not leave without what is mine! I have been looking for him for decades and I will have him!" He tightened his grip on Jasper and I could see him wince.

"James," so he has a name, "I am not your's, never was! Let me go!" There was a desperation in his voice that broke my heart. He was fighting again but didn't have much he could do in his current position. I was trying to figure out the best way to get at him without hurting Jasper more then he already was, maybe if I could get him talking it would help to distract him enough to get the upper hand.

"So James, was it?" I was trying to sound as none threatening as possible. "Tell me a bit about your time with Jasper, he's a nice piece of ass isn't he?" I felt horrible reducing him to that. James snorted at that and turned to look at me.

"You have no idea. I have been dreaming of this ass for the past 65 years." He punctuated the point by thrusting his hips into Jasper jean covered ass. "I still don't understand why he left. Sure we didn't always agree on stuff, but we loved each other." He kept prattling on not noticing that I was getting closer and closer. I honestly wasn't even listening to what he was saying. I knew that Jasper would tell me about him later.

Jasper caught on to what I was trying to do and decided to help me out a bit. He started moving the hand that had been clutching on to James' arm in a more loving and soothing manner hoping to give him a false sense of security. I saw him start to loosen his hold and could tell Jasper was using his power on him also. He finally had his emotions under enough control to be able to manipulate someone else's.

Once his hold was loose enough Jasper straightened up and turned into James' embrace taking his focus off of me and onto Jasper. Just as he was leaning into kiss Jasper I made my move.

I ran and threw myself into James' side causing him to stumble back and finally releasing his hold on Jasper. I took the opportunity to push Jasper behind me as I sank into my defensive crouch. I didn't give James time to recover before I was on him again. My teeth at his neck ripping into it.

With an almighty shriek I had his head detached from his body and I noticed Jasper was gathering wood to start the fire.

I finished dismantling this James just as Jasper was starting the fire. He came to help me gather the pieces and toss them in the fire. With in seconds the purple smoke filled the clearing.

I finally let myself relax as I walked over to Jasper who was staring into the fire. I put my hand on his shoulder and before I knew what was happening I was in a bone crushing hug as we sank to the forest floor. He started shaking as I held him. This was quite the turn of events.

I don't know how long we sat there when he finally started to calm down enough to look at me. His eyes were haunted with the ghost he had just been face with.

"Did you mean it?" I looked at him perplexed. What did he mean?

"What?" I asked him stroking his back.

"When you said I was yours?" Ah.

"Yes I did." I confirmed for him before my lips meet his. This was the first time I had initiated this type of contact with us. I knew we had a lot to talk about but at this point just having him in my arms was enough.

We were lost in the moment with each other that we didn't even notice that we weren't alone.

"Dudes, what the hell happened?" Emmett bellowed as he entered the clearing. We pulled apart standing up. Jasper tried to pull away but I was having none of it. I slid my arm around his waist pulling him to my side. The primal urge to have him by me was still very much alive.

"Nothing Emmett, just my past coming back to haunt me." He informed Emmett.

"Alright then. Are you both ok?" I nodded and Jasper just buried his face in the crook of my neck. This was not the strong, powerful, and confident man I have known. I was starting to get concerned. He had just been molested though so he probably just needed time.

"Em, I am going to take Jasper home, stay and make sure the fire burns out then you can join us, please." I ordered him. I was slipping back into my role as leader and it felt good. Emmett just nodded in acquiescence.

"Lets go home and talk." I grabbed Jaspers hand pulling him along beside me.

We made it back to the house in a few minutes and I was still clinging to Jaspers hand for dear life. He turned to look at me, eyes burning.

"Umm, I need to shower, and yeah, then we can umm, talk?" It came out as a question, and I noticed that he was caked in mud from being pinned to the ground.

"Sure, yes, that's fine. While you do that I am going to go get the truck." I went to release his hand but he clung onto it harder. I looked at him questioningly.

"You're not going to disappear again are you?" He asked in an almost child like voice, filled with hurt and insecurity. I realized how much my leaving had affected him and vowed to make it up to him everyday for eternity. I pulled him into a hug as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"No Jas, I'm not leaving again, ever." He nodded against my shoulder squeezing tighter before letting me go and making his way to his room.

I ran back to the truck quickly and brought it home. I got my bags out of the bed and went to put them in my room. I could still hear the water running but decided to go up and wait for Jasper in his room wanting to be as close to him as possible.

I sat on the chair reading, reading waiting for him to come out when I heard the bathroom door open and was met with the most sinful sight I have ever seen.

Jasper was standing there looking at me with a soft white fluffy towel hanging low on his hips showing off his perfectly toned chest and abs. I took him in my eyes eating in the sight of him. I was drawn to the wonderful 'V' of his hips and followed them down to the area that was covered by the towel. I never wished for something to disappear as much as I did in the moment.

I heard a throat clear and looked back up to see him smirking at me and just like that my cocky Jasper was back, but only for a moment. When I met his eyes he lowered his head.

"I'm just gonna grab some clothes and change I'll be right out." He disappeared into his closest and came back out a few minutes later dressed in well worn light blue jeans and a dark blue t-shirt that hugged his body like second skin. He went to sit on the bed, but I was having none of that, as he passed I yanked on his arm pulling him down onto my lap. He just gaped at me for a minute before relaxing into my embrace, and just like that I was home.

We sat in silence for a long time just relishing in the feeling of being complete in each other. Why did I ever run away from this. Oh yeah 'cause I'm a moron!

"You left." Jasper interrupted my mental whipping.

"I did, and I'm sorry. I needed time." I reiterated.

"Did you get the time you needed? Did you figure stuff out? Because I don't think I can take much more of this Car." He sat up but didn't try to move from my lap.

"I know I have put you through so much, its been a roller coaster, and I am sorry for that. But I had to come to term with some stuff. Things I thought I was prepared for turned out I wasn't." My hand was making lazy circles on his back.

"Are you prepared for them now? What changed in the three weeks since you have been gone?" He looked down at out entwined hands staring intently not looking me in the eyes.

"I am ready now." I told him with more confidence then I remember feeling in my life. "As for what changed. A lot of things actually. When I was driving to Alaska I can't count the number of times I almost turned around to come back. But I knew if I did that I would just end up going around in circles. I needed to get away so that my emotions weren't messing up my head." He looked upset for a minute.

"You know I wasn't messing with your emotions right? I would never do that!" He was starting to get frantic thinking I thought he was manipulating me.

"I know that Jasper, and that's not what I meant." I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I didn't know how to explain this to him. Damn it! "What I meant was that just your very presence was enough to muddle my mind. You are just to distracting for your own good." I chuckled as did he.

"So did it help being away then?" I could tell he wanted to know if I would leave him again. Even though I had assured him I wouldn't.

"It did. An incident with one of the sisters really gave me the push I needed." He tensed when I mentioned the sisters he knew what they were like.

"What happened?" He more demanded then asked. This was going to be embarrassing but I had to be honest with him.

"I was in my room and thinking about stuff. My thoughts ended up turning, umm, well," Damn this was hard, no pun intended, "sexual I guess. I was alone in the house, or so I thought." I paused looking away and out the window where I could still see the purple smoke.

"Car, don't be embarrassed please just tell me." His gentle prodding helped me.

"Ok well I decided since I was alone I would try that whole, umm, self gratification thing." I looked over at him only to see him trying to hide his smile and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well how was it?" He asked.

"I don't know I didn't get more then a few minutes into it before I was rudely interrupted by Irina offering to help." He shot off my lap faster then I had seen him move ever.

"She what?" He was pacing the room. "You let her!" I could feel the heart break from here.

"What? NO, God NO!" I jumped up and went to him only to have him push me away. "I swear Jasper, she came in before I could stop her and straddled my waist. I tried to tell her to get off me, but she kissed me before I had a chance." He stopped dead in his tracks and growled. I rushed on, "I pushed her off as soon as she did, I promise Jasper, you're the only one I want to kiss!" I was about a second away from dropping to my knees and groveling.

"What happened next?" He hissed out.

"She told me she knew I wanted her," I held my hands up in front of me in a act of surrender, "which I don't! I proceeded to tell her that until she grew a set of balls, and a dick, and changed her name to Jasper, I would never want her." He looked shocked for a few moments, then burst out laughing.

"You really told her that?" I just nodded and went to sit back down as he just kept laughing.

"Glad I can amuse you as always." I pouted. He was kneeling in front of me taking my face in his hands forcing me to look into his eyes. I saw the love and pride shinning back at me and my heart swelled.

"I'm sorry Car, it's just imagining you saying something like that is hard to picture. I would have loved to see her face." I had to laugh at that. I didn't take much time to analyze her reaction at the time but now that I think back on it, it was funny as hell.

"They aren't used to getting rejected often. Between Edward and now me warding off their advances I think we might be hurting their egos." We continued to laugh until I looked at him again and saw the lust burning in his eyes now black eyes. Before I could react his lips were on mine again.

He was pushing me to lean back in the chair as he proceeded to climb onto me and straddle my lap never once breaking the kiss. I moaned into his mouth and he used this as an opportunity to slide his tongue in. God I will never tire of his taste! My hands made their way to the still damp locks of blonde curls tugging gently causing his mouth to open wider and I pushed my way through continuing the battle for dominance.

I knew I should stop this. We had a lot to talk about, namely why the hell that man was trying to rape my mate, but I just couldn't bring myself to break away. I missed him so much and the need to claim him was still there. I felt his hands slid under my shirt lightly brushing up and down my sides. I groaned again. Just the lightest touch from him had me worked up in a way I don't think I had ever been.

I stood up with him and he wrapped his legs around my waist as I carried him over to the bed. My lips left his as I worked my way down his jaw nipping and licking as I laid him down and hovered over him not putting any of my weight on him.

"God Jasper, I missed you so much, please forgive me for wasting so much time." I licked the shell of his ear and he moaned and arched into me.

"Car, there is nothing to forgive, shit," I moved and started sucking on the juncture where his neck and shoulders met causing him to growl, I think that is my new favorite place. "God we need to stop Car, fuck, please…" I wasn't sure if he was saying please stop or please don't. So until he specified I was going to continue.

I licked up the column of his throat and made my way over to the other side of his neck paying it just as much attention as the other side. His hands never stopping in their movement under my shirt and slowly getting higher till they were on my chest kneading my pecks and flicking my nipples. Shit that was good. My own hands went to the hem of his shirt and pushed it up. I briefly detached my mouth from him as I lifted the shirt over his head. I sat back on my knees for a few seconds admiring the strong planes and muscles that made up Jaspers torso.

"You are so beautiful. My beautiful soldier." I whispered in awe. His eyes went wide and I thought I did something wrong until his mouth was attacking me again with force. He flipped us so he was on top now and I could feel his hardness against my thigh. I thought I would be nervous about that but I found myself thrilled and harder then I had ever been in my long life.

Before I knew it my shirt had joined Jaspers on the floor, although mine was in a few more pieces then his was. My impatient Major. His mouth was attacking my neck and moving lower and lower trailing kisses down my chest. I growled when I felt his tongue flick my nipple. God that felt good. His hands were ghosting over my abs tracing the muscles there as he reached the waist band of my jeans.

Suddenly I was nervous. Was I ready for that step yet?

"What's wrong Car?" He paused his ministrations and looked up at me with concern.

"It's just I'm, umm, well," How did I tell him I wasn't ready to have sex with him when I was sending out signals indicating the exact opposite? He stopped my stammering with a kiss.

"I understand Car, don't worry we only go as far as you are ready for. I wasn't planning on fucking you now anyway. Just maybe showing you how great some other things could be. Yes?" God I wanted to, so bad, so I nodded. He broke out into the biggest grin I had ever seen.

"Thank you." With that he moved back to what he was doing previously. His mouth found my nipple again as his free hand tweaked and squeezed the other one. His other hand found its way back to the waist band of my pants and popped the buttons of the fly. He reached in and skimmed his hand over my cock. I shuddered in response.

"Damn, so good baby." He chuckled and moved his mouth to my ear.

"You aint seen nothing yet love." With that he full grasped my shaft and started pumping. I groaned in pleasure. Even the few minutes I spent with my own hand around my cock didn't compare to this.

"Uhh, oh shit," he continued pumping a few more times before I decided I want to participate. I lowered my hands from his back to the front of his body and down to the waist band of his own jeans popping the button and sliding my hand in. He stopped and looked at me.

"Car, you don't have to. I just want to show you pleasure." His care touched my very soul, but I wanted to give this to him also. This was the start of our relationship both physical and otherwise. I wanted to start it together.

"I know sweets, but I want to, now shut up and just go with it." I kissed him again and picked up where he had stopped me.

"shhhhh, damn Car, I have waited, ugh, so long." I was doing this to him. It gave me more confidence and I wrapped my hand fully around his length reveling in the smooth silky skin wrapped around hard titanium.

The only sounds that filled the room were grunts as we brought each other closer and closer to oblivion. It was the most amazing torture I have ever experienced. Much too soon I could feel the familiar tightening in my abdomen and knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

"Jas, not…going, ehh, last." I started stroking him faster squeezing gently when I reached the head, using my thumb to circle over the slit mimicking what he was doing to me.

"Let go Car, ahhhh, going….to….shit, cum." I tensed up the same time he did and felt stars explode in front of my eyes as my body shook with the most intense release I have ever had. It seemed to go on forever as he continued to pump me through my climax. I could feel his own release on my hand and wasn't as freaked out by it as I thought I would be.

He pulled his hand out of my pants, as did I, and ran to the bathroom reappearing moments later with a wash cloth. He cleaned off my hand before going to his closest returning this time with two pairs of pajama pants.

"Don't want to stay in sticky, messy pants while we finish talking." He offered up for an explanation. We quickly changed and laid back down on the bed. Jasper curled into my side and rested his head on my bare chest drawing lazy circles on my stomach as I ran my hand through his hair.

Neither of us wanted to disrupt the after glow so we just stayed silent basking in each others company.

After several hours, or maybe minutes, I wasn't really keeping track, the need for answers became too great. I sighed and kissed the top of his head.

"Jasper who was James, and why was he attacking you today." He stiffened briefly before turning his head up to kiss me again. He was trying to distract me. "Please Jas, I need to know." I said against his lips.

"I know Car, but I'm afraid." His voice was small as he buried his face into my chest. He looked more vulnerable then I had ever seen him before. Why would he be afraid?

"Jasper look at me." It took him a few seconds until his eyes met mine and I could see the trepidation and fear in them. "Nothing you can tell me is going to make me love you less." I assured him.

"You love me?" Surely I had told him that before now, right?

"Of course my beautiful soldier. I love you more then I thought possible. You are my mate and nothing you can tell me is going to change that." He nodded and took a deep unneeded breath.

I knew that he and this James had a past. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to learn.

* * *

**A/N: So minor lemon but they are making progress so we should see so more loving coming up getting closer to the answer to the question who will top and bottom! You think you have a clue or an opinion on it let me know! **

**So reviews get a sneak peek at next chapter so show the love and get in return! It's give and take, lol!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Adding an extra warning the beginning of this chapter is very, very graphic! Read at your own risk. So many wonder why I wrote it so explicit. I did it so that people could feel the true depth of dispair Jasper felt and continues to feel at times. This chapter contains the RAPE of a minor if you are offended don't read. It was hard to write because it is an unforgivable act but needed to be written to continue to convey the emotional turmoil of the charecter. **

**A/N: Alright here is the next chapter and I am warning now it does get a bit graphic with Jaspers history with James coming out in more detail. You have been forewarned. **

**Also I would like to clarify. Someone asked if the James in this story was the same as in Twilight and if so didn't he come across Bella when they were playing Baseball? I thought I did a note in the start of the story but maybe it wasn't clear enough and I apologize for any confusion. None of the drama that happened with Bella/Edward happened in this story. So no he didn't come across them in the baseball clearing. **

**Again I would like to think my amazing Beta Jaspered01! She will tell you I struggled with this chapter a lot!! I had to completely scrap it and start almost from scratch cause what I had first just didn't flow. This I hope turned out much better. But I want to think her for being honest and open and giving me suggestions! Wonderful as always! **

**JPOV:**

I curled myself into Carlisle and let his love wash over me. With one last look into his eyes I whispered a few final words before I got lost in my memories,

"I love you Carlisle."

60 Years Prior:

_It's been two years since I left Peter and Charlotte. I had to leave them. When they came back for me and told me of another way of living. A life without war, and constant fighting I felt a glimmer of hope. For several years it was wonderful, amazing even. But I soon realized that it wasn't just the war and fighting that were to blame for my dark moods. _

_I hated having to kill to survive. Every time I had to feed I would fall into a terrible depression for weeks. I would try to go longer and longer with out feeding but would inevitably break due to the thirst and end up draining the first unsuspecting passerby I came across. Feeling the despair, hopelessness, terror, and pain, no matter how quick I tried to make the kill, would leave me so broken that I had a hard time not projecting the emotions on my companions. _

_I finally decided after a particularly dark period that I needed to leave them to bask in the new freedom they had. I wanted them to be the mated couple they needed to be, to continue to strengthen the bond. I was going to strike out on my own._

_When I told Peter and Charlotte they were upset of course, but they also understood. They told me they would stay around the North West part of the country if I needed them. With final goodbyes I decided to explore North East._

_When I left them I started to fall deeper and deeper into the black oblivion. I wasn't able to feed off the happiness they exuded and I was unable to find it in myself to conjure up my own. Which is where I find myself now. I hadn't fed in over 6 weeks. I had taken to avoiding towns and cities as much possible lest I end up massacring an entire population. I was very weak and honestly was hoping someone would just come across me and end my life._

_I was laying in the middle of the woods not really having the will to move. I heard a noise to my left and smelled another vampire. I dared to hope for a moment that my wish would be granted. I heard the person move closer and opened my eyes to see who was there. The man was beautiful if I was being honest with myself. Tall, cut, long blonde hair tied back in a leather band, he had low cut jeans with holes, and was shirtless giving me a wonderful view of his toned chest and abdomen. I was always a sucker for a six pack._

_The man came over and kneeled down next to me. I felt him brush his finger down my cheek as I looked into his blood red eyes._

"_What are you doing layin' here in the middle of the woods obviously starving?" He asked me. His voice was rough and alluring. _

"_Don't want to feed, or feel." I probably wasn't making much sense to him._

"_Stay right here, I will be right back." I heard the rush of wind as he ran off. I should have been concerned. I should have hauled ass out of there. But I didn't. I waited like he told me too. I didn't have the energy or drive to move. _

_It was probably ten minutes later when I caught my intruders scent again only this time it was mixed with a human. I could already feel the venom pooling in my mouth at the smell of the fresh succulent blood. The man came into view with a young women with him. He brought her over to me._

"_Drink." Was his order. I didn't even hesitate and was quickly slicing through the thick jugular vein in her neck taking deep pulls of the sweet ambrosia it offered. I had to moan at the taste as it extinguished the fire burning in my throat. Once the first of the blood hit my system I could feel my strength returning quickly and with it the full weight of my gift._

_There was never a way around it. I could feel the woman's fear, anguish, regret, and utter hopelessness. She knew she was not going to survive much longer. I took one final pull and came up empty she was gone and I was a monster yet again. _

"_Hey I don't know what you are doing but stop it. Its making me want to slit my wrists." The man was in front of me again. My anger at him for interfering with me was starting to grow. Why didn't he just kill me or leave me be?_

"_Why did you do that? Why didn't you just kill me?" I was standing toe to toe with him now._

"_Well your welcome for saving your life. I thought I was being a good Samaritan for once." He got an evil little glint in his eyes. "As to why I did it. No one as beautiful as you should be wallowing away like you are. It's a waste really. So I thought I would help you out. Get you fed, and offer my companionship. I have two others the travel with me on occasion but they come and go, and I am lonely for some company." He trailed his hand down my chest lightly as he said this._

"_What makes you think that I will be open to your particular kind of…..company. As you so delicately put it." In truth he was stunning in a bad ass sort of way and I was craving some contact but I was not going to surrender anything to him so easily. _

"_I can see the lust in your eyes and it looks like you have been alone for some time. I can offer you comfort both physically," he moved in closer running his nose along my jaw, "and emotionally. You shouldn't have to be alone. Stay with me." He flicked his tongue out over my Adams apple and I moaned. He moved up and started to move in for a kiss. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back letting him know he needed to stop._

"_I will stay with you for a bit, but one rule, no kissing." He thought this over for a minute before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me too him. He moved his mouth to my ear to whisper._

"_Fine, for now," he licked my ear causing me to shutter, "and I'm James by the way. Remember it because you will be screaming it soon." We were rough with each other. This wasn't a loving committed relationship. This was fucking and it was a constant battle for dominance. _

_Over the course of time the fight for control increased. Some times I would win, and some times James would win. He knew that I never submitted willingly. I wouldn't call what happened between us rape or abuse because no matter who ended up winning a particular struggle we knew that we wanted it. _

_We spent the time that we weren't fucking actually getting to know each other a bit. He was nice but there was always something lingering under the surface with him that I couldn't put my finger on. After traveling together for several months I began to notice things about James the irked me._

_One he always seemed to feed more the I would deem necessary, he also liked to 'play' with his food. He would bring his prey to the woods and tell them things like; _

'_I will give you a five minute head start if you can make it out of the woods before I catch you I'll let you live.'_

_Of course I knew that they would never win and I wasn't really fond of his games. I usually tried to make myself scarce when I knew he was going to be hunting. _

_He had also started to spend several days away at a time a few times a month. Not that I complained I enjoyed the reprieve of having to be social for awhile. But when he returned his emotions always caused me concern. He was sated but it wasn't a satisfaction you get merely from just having fed. He also had a sense of euphoria mixed with malice and a bit of smugness. It was very odd combination and I didn't know what to do with it. _

_I was starting to grow weary of him and his games and confusing emotions. I felt that his bond to me was getting stronger. I never felt love from him but it was a possessiveness that he mistook for love. He wanted to own me. No one owns me. _

_There were several times that I knew I should have left. But I could bear the thought of being alone again and I didn't care for him as much as I did Peter and Charlotte to really mind that my depression may have an adverse effect on him. Once particular instance occurred about 7 months after I started traveling with him. I had just come back from my own hunt and he was just finishing up with his latest game. I confronted him on it again._

"_If you want something to play with why don't go find some unsuspecting animal to maul?" Usually he would just shrug his shoulders and make a move to kiss me or something to distract me. This time I was almost ill with his answer._

"_Because hon," he almost sneered at me, "an animal can't beg and scream." This was the first time he actually acknowledged his sadistic behavior. After that it became more frequent and the times he would spend away were more often._

_A few weeks after the last hunting episode he was on one of his excursions that I had yet to join him on. He had asked me on a few occasions but I was honestly terrified to know what he did. But now the needed to know became to great. A day after he left I decided to follow his scent and see what he was actually getting up too. _

_I tracked him through the woods, into town, then the scent moved on through the other side of town and out to the woods again. The scent was getting stronger and I could smell blood mixed with it. I reached out to get a feel for the emotions around me and was hit with terror and pain so strong it almost brought me to my knees. _

_I pushed on and a few minutes later broke through the forest to see a small house there. I could hear crying and smell the fresh tears of his prey. I made my way to one of the windows to see what was going on. If James knew I was there he didn't make it known._

_When I peeked into the window I left incapacitated with the sight that met me._

_James had the bodies of two adults I would imagine they were in their mid to late 30's on the floor of the kitchen. They were obviously dead. What caused me to practically retch. He had a boy no more then 11 or 12 years old naked strapped to a small bed in the corner. James was over him thrusting wildly into the young child's broken body._

_I noticed all over the boys body were bit marks where James had sunk his teeth in. He wasn't changing so he had to have sucked the venom out but not draining him so he could continue his torture. At this point I had no idea how long he had been at it._

_Every time James would thrust his hips into the child a scream would ripple through the air. I tore my eyes away from the boy and landed my gaze on James' face and noticed that he was looking directly at me. He winked at me drawing me from the stupor I had been in. A blinding hot rage ripped through my body and I crashed into the house._

"_It's about time your joined me Jasper. I have been waiting, you can go next." His lips twisted up into a feral smile._

"_WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. IT'S A CHILD." I screamed at him._

"_I know, and doesn't he have the sweetest most innocent little ass you have ever seen?" He never once faltered in his movements. _

_I couldn't believe I had been so stupid not to see how purely evil this man was. I knew it I felt the emotions but I ignored it. I had to stop this torture on this poor child. With that thought in mind I lunged for James knocking him off the child._

"_What the hell Jasper. Can't wait your turn. FINE! Have at it." He couldn't honestly think I was going to have any part of this could he._

"_You sick fuck! I would NEVER hurt a child! I may be a monster but I am not a sick fuck like you!" I lunged again and found purchase of his neck and slammed him into the wall._

"_You self-righteous ass hole!" He screamed in my face. "At least I embrace what I am, I know I'm a damn monster and thoroughly enjoy it. Now if you aren't going to partake get the fuck out and let me finish what I started." He was snapping at me but was unable to land any decent shots. I bit into his neck in and attempt to dislocated it from his body when I was suddenly hit with a terror and pain stronger then I ever felt before and was literally brought to my knees. _

_Before I could stop him James was out the door and running into the forest. I was about to give chase when I heard a whimper behind me and remembered the boy. I closed my eyes trying to get control of myself._

_I stood up and turned to look at the boy on the bed. He was bleeding but for once the smell of blood had no effect on me. My only focus was helping the child. I started to move closer to asses the damage. Looking over him I could see he was pale white from the blood loss, I could see several bones pointing in directions they should not be, and could tell that his hip was shattered._

_In that moment I knew the only thing to do was to end his suffering and that meant ending his young life. I recoiled at the thought but could see no way around it. He was slowly dying as it was._

_The boy looked at me as I slowly walked over to him. As I approached he whimpered in terror and a little piece of me died. I tried pushing some calm at him but he was too far gone to really have it help._

"_I'm not going to hurt you." I tried to reassure him. His eyes got wide as I finally reached him._

"_Please…." he started pleading with me, "Please make the pain stop." He was sobbing uncontrollably._

"_I'm going to make the pain go away." I whispered to him as I pushed out more serenity and calm hoping to give him a few moments of peace before he left this world. I brushed a bloody lock of hair out of his face. _

"_I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. Please forgive me." With one fluid movement I snapped his tiny neck dry sobbing as I did. I held his tiny body for hours crying at the loss of his life, his innocence, and my own. I had seen and done more in my life then any 20 year old ever should have and now I have to add child murder to my list of transgressions. _

I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt Carlisle take me in his arms again and start rubbing my back. How could he touch me after hearing what a monster I was?

"I'm sorry Carlisle, I wasn't strong enough. I should have left James sooner. I should have seen him for what he was. When I left Maria I thought she was evil incarnate. I never thought I would end up sharing a bed with the devil himself." He kissed me tenderly pouring all of his love into the act.

"Jas, there is nothing to forgive. You did what any one of us would have done in the same situation." I shook my head violently at him. He would have been able to save the boy and I told him as much.

"You're wrong. After the torture he had to endure I doubt very highly I would have been able to do anything for him, and even if I could have what kind of life would he have had? He also would have been in danger from the Volutri because he would have known our secret. Despite what you feel, you did the right thing." Could he really still love me after that. I had killed a child.

"But Carlisle he was a child, I…I, killed him." I cried again. I hadn't realized how much pent up guilt and anguish I was still harboring over this.

"No, you didn't." He took my face in his hands forcing me to look in his eyes. "You didn't kill him, James did. The second he took him he was already dead." He kissed me again and pulled me back towards the bed. He sat on the edge pulling me onto his lap.

"Why do I feel so weak then?" I asked him.

"You are not weak. Look at everything you have overcome. Most people who have seen and done the things you have would be clinically insane. You are the strongest, most grounded, and loving man I have ever met. I don't know what I did in my life to deserve you but I will never again take you for granted again. I will spend the rest of my eternity reminding you how amazing you are." He kissed me fiercely. His acceptance was incredible and I could feel the hole that ripped my heart in two that day start to slowly close up.

It would still take time to come to terms with what I had done. Forgiving myself, no matter how many time Carlisle told me I did the right thing, was not going to be easy.

"Are you alright?" He asked me looking deep into my eyes seeing the love shinning out. Was I alright? Good question.

"Honestly no, I'm not." He tightened his hold on me. "But with you by my side I think I could be."

We spent the next several hours in each others embrace. Trading light loving touches and making out like teenagers. I couldn't believe how amazing this was. Finally moving forward and being together. It was almost too good to be true.

I don't know how long we were laying there but I was starting to wonder where Emmett was. Surely it didn't take hours for one fire to burn out. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.

"Hey fucker's where you at?" I bet his voice could be heard three states away with as loud as he was. Shit, the real world came crashing down on us in the form of Emmett and I was so not ready for this, but was given little choice or time to prepare as he burst through my bedroom door.

"Emmett don't you know how to knock?" Carlisle asked him. He knows Emmett never knocks I don't know why he is surprised.

"Sorry, but I want some answers. Who was that burning? Why were they burning? What did they do that caused mister 'violence isn't the answer' to rip them apart?" I sighed I had already told all this to Car and I knew that I would have to tell Emmett something. I hope he will be content with a much more abridged version.

"Em, why don't you give us a few minutes to collect ourselves and we will meet you downstairs." Ever the diplomat my man was.

"Sure, no problem." He turned to leave when I felt a spike of mischief roll of him, oh shit! "I just have one more question. Do you spit or swallow?" With that he bolted out the door.

"EMMETT!" I yelled giving chase, he was so dead.

He was just out the front door when I tackled him to the ground. I could hear Carlisle chuckling from somewhere in the house but didn't let it distract me from my task of kicking Emmett's ass.

"So Jazzy, any other past lover's we need to worry popping back up!" I heard Carlisle growl before I saw a flash and Emmett was pinned to the ground next to me. He was staring up at Carlisle in disbelief. He never joined us in play fighting.

"The only lovers that will be 'popping' up will be me!" He snarled in Emmett's face. HOT! I felt a sudden surge of lust and notice Emmett trying to dry hump Carlisle. Opps I must have been projected. I pulled back on my emotions as Carlisle and Emmett continued to wrestle for a while. It was nice to see a lighter carefree side of him. Suddenly Emmett stopped and got a serious look on his face.

"Shit I forgot, you have to call Alice, and was that really a past lover? I had no idea I was just joshin' ya but now I wanna know." He yelled out. I face palmed. How could we have forgotten to call the evil child! She had to have seen the out come but would want to know that we were all 'emotionally' ok. I swear she has issues.

"Car, you want to give him an abbreviated version while I deal with my ex-wife?" He nodded but kept lunging for Emmett while telling him what happened.

I went to sit on the porch and watched Car and Em continue their little sparing match while I pulled out my phone. I never got the chance to hit send before it started ringing. Psycho Psychic!

"_I told you. OMG that was so hot!" _She screeched into the phone.

"Alice I can hear you no need to squeal, and you really should pull out of visions of others in intimate situations." I chastised her.

"_Oh posh, it was hot and if I'm not getting any I can at least live vicariously through the rest of you until my time comes." _She did have a point I felt kind of bad for her now. She was the only one with out her mate. I hoped he would show up soon.

"Moving on. So obviously everything is ok now, Car showed up in time, and we worked everything out. Did you need anything else?" I really hoped that the drama was behind us for a bit.

"_No not really just wanted to see how you were feeling. Visions show me what happens but I can't feel the emotions behind them. I know that going into that experience again can pull you into your dark place and I wanted to make sure you didn't go back there." _She was the only one who remotely knew about what happened aside from Carlisle now. She saw the black hole I was in when she found me at that diner.

"I'm actually doing ok Alice. It was a lot to rehash but with Carlisle's support I was able to get through it. I actually feel lighter, freer, like a weight has finally been lifted. It's still going to take time to fully forgive myself. But I finally feel like I can start moving forward." I hadn't had much time to recognize this until now but I didn't feel the undercurrent of guilt running through me as strong as it once did. It was still there to an extent but it was slowly dissipating.

"_That's because the one thing you had been hiding from your mate finally came out and he accepted you. You always thought that if he knew about what happened he would never want you. Now you know that he knows and still wants you, you are secure in your future with him." _Damn pixie made sense.

"Well that's nice. I just wish we could have some time alone to get comfortable in the new role of mates." I was starting to regret Emmett coming with us, he did help out a lot when Carlisle disappeared though. He helped keep me some what sane.

"_Well that's why I wanted you to call also. Send Emmett home for the next few weeks. He will help us pack up and drive all the cars that way you and Car can have some….special time together." _That was a great idea.

"Ok when should I send him packing?" In my opinion the sooner the better.

"_I think tomorrow morning should work. Have him run here so we don't have to worry about another car. We still have the Jeep, the Volvo, M3, Aston Martin, and the Porsche. Bella was trying to talk Edward into bringing the truck but he actually put his foot down it was hilarious. You should have seen her face when he told her no! Priceless." _I can only imagine. Edward hates that beast but would normally do anything to keep Bella happy. I was glad to see he got his balls back. Not that I should talk much I would gladly give mine up for Carlisle to wear around his neck is it would make him happy.

"Well good to know he asserted himself a bit. That thing is a death trap. He seems to be doing well at picking the right battles to fight. It's a hard balance to find in a new relationship." Edward consistently surprised me in his care and attitude with Bella. What he lacked in experience he made up for with love and affection.

"_Yeah, I don't really see any problems with them. Just the normal squabbles." _I wonder if she had seen any visions of what Bella would be like when she was turned. I would like to know what we would be dealing with. I knew that with all of us here it wouldn't be a big deal but it's a good idea to prepare for the worst.

"Hey Alice, do you see what Bella will be like as a newborn?" I really hope it wouldn't be bad.

"_I have had a few visions here and there. It's hard because you know the minds of newborns have a hard time focusing. What I can tell is she will be fairly tame. Her sex drive might kick up a notch which will make life interesting for all of us." _I could only imagine! Newborns don't control their emotions well so everything is amplified. If Alice see's her being hyper sexual, which isn't uncommon for a newborn, soaking up all her lust could make life for me very interesting.

"Well that shouldn't be too terrible. Good for Eddie I would say." I had to chuckle. Of course the 100 year old virgin would end up with a hyper sexual newborn.

"_Yeah listen I am going to go. Let you guys get back to your male bonding and what not. Enjoy your time alone with your man!" _She laughed and ended the call before I could respond. She had terrible phone etiquette.

Emmett and Carlisle were still going at it. I was actually impressed with his fighting skills, while very rudimentary he made up for it with his speed. I would have to show him some stuff. In the fight with James he let his instincts lead and was over come with rage which helped him. That would not always be the case. I left the porch to join them in the yard.

They stopped when I approached so they could see what was going on.

"What did Alice have to say? Anything interesting?" Emmett winked at me. Weirdo.

"Yes she said that you are suppose to leave tomorrow morning to help them finish packing up and drive the cars back here. You are to run to Forks." I relayed the information Alice had provided me.

"But I wanna take the truck!" He whined.

"Too bad. That would defeat the purpose of you going back to help. They need help driving. There are too many vehicles as it is. Bella is even going to have to drive one much to Edwards dismay." He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine but I don't have to like it." He actually pouted.

"I never said you did child!" With that he turned and ran to his room to pack I was assuming. I felt a set of arms slip around my waist and sighed at the feeling of completeness that over came me.

"Are you alright?" He whispered in my ear causing me to shiver in pleasure. I leaned back into him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Yes I am surprisingly. Usually after I think about what happened and what I did I spiral into a deep depression. I don't feel that now you are helping to keep it at bay." He kissed my neck and removed his arms from around me. I missed the contact instantly but didn't have to wait long. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house where we settled on the love seat.

I curled myself into Carlisle as we sat together just loving being in his presence. My arms were wrapped around his waist and my head was on his shoulder, his head rested on top of mine. I heard him inhale deeply into my hair and groaned. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Do I smell good Car?" I chuckled. His response was to do it again.

"You have no idea. Your scent calms me and drives me crazy all at the same time. It's quite the conundrum actually. How can I have two completely opposite reactions to you." He sounded thoroughly perplexed. I had to laugh at him. No matter how much he had changed in the last few weeks he could not deny the naturally inquisitive side of himself.

"Responses to smells or situations aren't always black and white Car. It is possible to experience multiple emotions from one thing. Your scent sends me into an almost Pavlovian response." I smirked at him.

"Oh and what response is that?" I felt his lust shoot up briefly.

"I'm not telling. You will just have to do some 'experiments' and figure it out on your own!" Oh this could be fun.

"Oh, how I love experimenting! So my test subject lets see just what kind of 'responses' I can garner from you shall we?" I swung my leg over his thighs so I was straddling him as he moved to attack my neck with his mouth. I moaned at the contact. One touch from this man could have me melting into a puddle of gooey liquid on the floor. His lips continued to move across my jaw over to my left ear. He sucked my lobe into his mouth biting down gently causing me to grind my growing erection into his own hardening member.

My hands moved over his chest, down his stomach, to the hem of his shit. I was about to get my hands on the bare skin of his magnificent chest when someone else entered the room.

"Save it for the bedroom!" I looked up and saw Peter standing in the doorway. I groaned and buried my face in the crook of Car's neck. I did not want to deal with this douche right now. "No, No, don't get up and greet me, really stay just like you are!" He came into the living room and sat in the arm chair with the biggest shit eating grin you have ever seen on his face.

"I wasn't planning on it ass hole. I am quite content where I'm at if you don't like it you can go home!" I did however move off Carlisle's lap to sit next to him. I turned my sharpest glare to Peter.

"Why are you here, don't you have your own home and wife to attend to?" I was being a little snot but I really just wanted to be with Carlisle. I mean damn 60 years I have waited to be with him and now that I am we keep getting interrupted.

"Well you ungrateful shit, I got one of my weird inklings and wanted to make sure everyone was alright." Damn Yoda wanna be winked at me. He damn well knew exactly what happened and didn't come to help me bastard.

"Yes well I hate to inform you Peter, but you are as usual hours late for the party!" I informed him.

"I don't know looks to me like the party is just getting started." He wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Mind if I join?" Oh shit. The last thing we needed right now was for a brawl to start between Car and Peter. Carlisle was already feeling possessive after just watching his mate get manhandled. I was going to have to have a little heart to heart with Peter soon.

I heard a growl and felt Carlisle's chest vibrate against me. I need to diffuse the situation. Normally Peter isn't this dense. But he isn't used to the new aggressive Carlisle that has just started making an appearance. I pushed out some calm and turned back towards Peter giving him a warning look.

"I. Do. Not. Share!" Carlisle informed him in a voice that was eerily calm but I could feel the emotions just bubbling under the surface. It wouldn't take much for him to crack if he felt I was being threatened. People were going to have to back off for awhile at least.

Peter held his hands up in surrender realizing that it was much too soon to start joking after what happened in the woods and I know for damn certain that he knows what happened.

"Baby, calm down please I don't have any desire to be shared, and just so you know I don't share either." I kissed his neck hoping to relax him. I looked back over at Peter and inclined my head to the door indicated that I wanted him to leave and so I could talk to Carlisle. I was going to have to talk to Peter also but I wanted to make sure Carlisle knew that I was his and not going anywhere first.

"I'm going to go outside for a bit and, umm, yeah." He bolted out of his chair and ran out the door in one fluid motion.

"I'm sorry Jasper I don't mean to be so…." I cut him off with my lips.

"Sweets, you have nothing to apologize for. I know that this is new for you. It's going to take time to find a balance here. You were never actually mated with Esme so the emotions and protective possessiveness we both feel is going to take awhile to adjust to." I kissed his cheek lightly. "But you have to know it's only you. What I had with anyone else, even Peter and Char, was nothing compared to what I feel for you. You hold a place in my very soul that no one can touch." I moved my mouth to nibble lightly on his ear causing him to groan.

"I know. I am sorry I will try to rein it in but I have never felt this strongly about anything before. I'm so used to being even natured and calm. Every emotion is so potent." This was something I could relate to. Being ruled my emotions my whole life gave me extra insight into that he was feeling.

"I know sweets, just give it some time to adjust you will even out I promise." I kissed him on the nose and he chuckled. "Now I need to go have a little discussion with Peter. He needs to lay off the sexual jokes for a bit otherwise you will end up dismembering him." He snorted but didn't try to deny it. With one final kiss I left his side feeling the loss of the connection immediately.

I ran out of the house and followed Peter's scent about a mile from the house. He was in a small clearing pacing and running his hands through his hair. He stopped when he saw me approach.

"Jasper I am sorry man. I should have realized he would be on edge after you being attack in the woods. I just open my mouth and stuff comes out." I shake my head at him.

"I know Peter but you have to understand Carlisle is still trying to get used to all these changes. He also isn't used to the deep emotions that come with actually being a mated couple. I know its hard for you to keep your mouth shut but you really need to stop with the innuendos and sexual comments for a while." I feel bad because I know he doesn't mean it and he is just being himself.

"I know. I will try really I will. I don't want to lose any limbs. I have a feeling the appendage he would rip off would be one that Char would end up missing." I had to laugh at him. I don't think he was too far off the mark on that one.

"You're probably right. Oh, and while he does know about our 'history' together. Please try and avoid touching or alluding to our past physical relationship. I know it was just a convenient release but Car is still a bit insecure about it." He nodded.

"You know I haven't wanted a piece of the Jazzy ass in decades so you have nothing to worry about but for Carlisle's sake I will lay off." I smiled at him.

"Thanks." I slapped him on the back.

"So I don't want to know about what happened with the man in the woods that's your past. I want to know that you are happy now." He quirked his eyebrow at me.

"I am very happy and it's only going to get better I think. Now that everything is out in the open. I know that we both still have healing to do. But at this point its healing that we can do together." We were both secure with ourselves and what we wanted now to be able to move forward in our relationship. Any further issues would be faced together.

"Well let's get you back to your man before he has an anxiety attack." I punched him in the shoulder and ran off towards home wanting to be by my lover's side now.

I entered the house and called out for Carlisle at the same time. He nearly knocked me over with the force of his body colliding with mine. I had to laugh at him.

"Miss me much?" He nodded against my neck where his face had taken up residence again. That seemed to be his favorite spot. I understood it was one of my favorite places on him also.

"You have no idea. I never want to be away from you. It feels like my heart is being ripped out when you leave." I nodded I understood that. I had felt that in other mated couples when they were separated. It's not a pleasant feeling.

"I do have an idea. I felt it too. But I am here now so don't worry and we have 2 weeks to ourselves when Em leaves tomorrow before the others join us." I pulled out of the embrace and grabbed his hand as we made our way back to the sitting room.

"How did your talk with Peter go?" He asks as he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around my waist holding me to him.

"Good. I made him understand that he needs to back off. He doesn't mean anything he says I know this. But it's too soon with everything that's happened for him to be making jokes like that." I lean my head on his shoulder and run my hand up and down his chest. I can hear the vibration in his chest as he sighs in satisfaction.

Peter comes back into the house and sits in the chair he was previously occupying. He is looking a bit sheepish as he clears his throat to get our attention.

"Carlisle I just want to say I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive to you and your feelings right now. You're a newly mated vampire who just had to watch his mate get manhandled after weeks away from him. I should have realized that you were going to be a bit…..protective. Can you forgive me?" I was impressed I never expected him to say apologize for it. Maybe over the years Charlotte was finally able to teach him some manners.

"It's alright Peter. I have probably overreacted a bit. This is just so new to me that I am finding myself a bit out of sorts. Please have patience with me." I kissed his neck could this man be anymore gracious.

"Of course. If you ever need help or to talk about stuff I can be surprisingly insightful when the situation calls for it." He smirked at us.

"Thank you I will keep that in mind." I heard Emmett's door slam and his heavy footsteps on the stairs. For a vampire that man is surprisingly loud! He rounds the corner to the sitting room and his face lights up when he sees Peter sitting there. I love that they get along. I hope the rest of the family does as well.

"Petey, I missed you so much!" Emmett runs over and jumps on Peters lap kissing his cheek with an audible smack.

"Hey cupcake, don't start something you aint willing to finish!" He winks at Emmett who is off his lap and on the couch before I can blink. Carlisle and I are laughing so hard I almost fall off his lap and he tightens his grip on me.

"Why am I the cupcake? I would think you would be the chick in this relationship!" Emmett pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. They do conjure up some interesting images. They are both huge in stature, neither one of them looking feminine in anyway so trying to picture who the chick would be is quite humorous.

"Yeah well I'm not the one who squealed and ran and jumped on your lap when I saw you ergo the chick!" He did make a valid point. But all this talk of chicks and who is who in the relationship does bring up an important question. Who is the chick in mine and Carlisle's relationship?

I look over at him and he smiles at me. I instantly turn into a pile of melted gooey liquid. Yup, it's official I am the damn chick in this relationship and I couldn't give a good God damn!

* * *

**End notes: So there you go. Next chapter will be some major alone time with Jasper and Carlisle! Fun and maybe some lemons will ensue, maybe if you give me nice reviews! HEHE! So please show me love!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ok all since last chapter was so rough emotionally this one is going to be happy! And there may or may not be lemons, maybe. I don't want to give it away lol! Just a heads up I have never really been on dates, I think I have been on two in my entire life, so I may not be so great at writing the fluffy romance stuff. Let me know what you think!**

**Also Happy mothers day to you moms out there! Glad it's you not me! LOL More power too ya!!**

**Thanks again to my Beta Jaspered01 who preread this and ended up getting a bit distracted! HEHE! ;) So here you go!**

**CPOV:**

Emmett left the next morning grumbling the whole time about not getting to take the truck with him. I tried to remind him that he would have his Jeep in just a few hours and he would also be back with Rose. That helped cheer him up and he left with a smile on his face. Running back to Washington wouldn't take nearly as long as driving so he should be there in just a few hours. I am glad I am not going to be in the house when he and Rose reunite.

Now I was left Jasper and I found myself feeling a bit nervous about it. We still had to find the balance between our old relationship and our new one. There were so many questions floating around my head. Would we go on dates? What will it be like when the rest of the family joined us again? What about when we moved? How would the physical side of our relationship work?

I never even considered trying anal sex with Esme. No that's not entirely true. Once I did try slipping a finger in her backdoor only to be thrown off her while she screamed in my face. I didn't get any for months, and that was when we still had a decent sex life! Some how I don't think Jasper would toss me across the room if I attempted something like that. But how would I react if he tried that with me? It was one thing to finger some else's anus but I wasn't sure if it was something I would enjoy.

Damn I guess I better figure that shit out real fast. I went inside to find Jasper and didn't see him in any of the normal places like the living room or game room. He must be in his room then. I didn't want to disturb him. Normally when he was in his room he wanted to be alone to think so I made my way to my office to do some thinking on my own.

I was glad that Jasper had talked to Peter. I know in my rational mind that he is just joking when he makes the innuendos, but the possessive monster and not so rational side of me doesn't care. I have never felt like this and it was a little frightening. I was always level headed and didn't let anything ruffle my feathers so to speak. But when it came to Jasper the idea of anyone coming near him just got me so furious. I guess this is what it meant to be a truly mated couple. It was going to take some time to adjust too.

Maybe I should talk to someone about this. The only problem was that I didn't know any gay mated vampires. I know it's normal for one mate to be dominate and that's usually the male. But how does that work when you are both male, and one that is the leader of a 'coven' and the other a Major in the army.

Could I submit myself to him? I know I love him but could I take on the submissive role? If I took on that role would I no longer be the leader of the family? Would I lose their respect? Can you share the dominate role? Is that even possible? To be more equals then one over the other? Damn the more I thought the more questions came up.

I heard a knock on my door and looked up to see Jasper leaning against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest, and one leg over the other. He looked completely relaxed.

"What's got you so riled up sweets?" He drawled as he pushed off the door and leisurely strode into the office.

"I was just thinking about stuff. Everything has changed and happened so fast. I still find myself confused about some things." I saw him visibly stiffen. It didn't take a genius to figure out he thought I was having doubts about us again. I quickly moved out of my chair and over to where he was standing.

"You're confused about us, me?" He sounded so broken again. Shit I couldn't do anything right.

"God, Jasper, no!" I pulled him into my arms. "I am not confused about you. You're the one thing I am one hundred percent sure about!" I assured him and I could feel him relax into my embrace.

"Well then everything else is just logistics and we have two weeks to figure out whatever it is that you are confused about." He pecked me on the lips lightly and I sighed at the contact. The way he could sooth all my nerves without even using his gift was uncanny.

"You're right. I just get lost in my head sometimes." I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my forehead against his taking in the intoxicating breath fanning across my face.

"How would you feel about maybe going on a date with me tonight?" Jasper broke the silence. I never thought about going on a date. How did I feel about being out in public with him? I wasn't ashamed of him and we did live in a different time then we used to. It was more widely accepted to be openly gay. However we were living in a small town in Montana. I wasn't sure how open they would be about it. Wait wasn't that film Brokeback something or other filmed around here? No wait that was Wyoming. Damn!

"I think that," I paused for a moment. What the hell. I love him this should be a non issue, "I would love to go on a date with you." I wonder what we were going to do.

"Ok, good, be ready to go by noon. I have it all planned already." With a quick peck on the lips he was gone.

I wonder what we are going to do. Noon is early for a date. Realizing I was never going to be able to figure it out I pulled out some information on the courses that were offered at Dartmouth. It has been decades since I went to school last. I wonder if there are any interesting courses I can take.

I was looking at maybe doing Literature possibly. It was very different then anything I had done before. While I was an avid reader I had never actually studied it in-depth. Then there was also the possibility of doing the Psychology/Sociology route. I was also considering Linguistics I am pretty good with languages and it would be something I have never studied before. I was pretty torn about what I wanted at this point. Maybe I could talk to Jasper what he was going to do.

I was reading up on all the class offerings when Jasper came back into the office.

"What ya lookin' at sweets." He came over and I scooted my chair out and he sat on my lap. I loved the feeling of his weight on me.

"Just going over the course offerings for Dartmouth." I brushed my hand up over his arm in a light caress.

"So you really want to go to school with us?" He looked down shyly.

"Yes I do. I think that the dynamic of the family will be altering a bit. Which I think will be a good thing. But I want to know what it's like to be at college and have fun. Last time I went I was alone and just studied all the time. I want a full on college experience." I was really looking forward to this. He cocked his head to the side and gave me a raised eyebrow.

"So you're talking frat parties, dorms, roommates, and the whole shebang?" I thought about that for a moment. Ok so dorms not so much. I would probably scare the shit out of some poor unsuspecting freshmen. Not to mention I wouldn't be able to be with Jasper whenever I wanted to. Frat parties could be interesting. I have never been to one, maybe it was one of those things that everyone should experience once in their life. But what would be the point. I can't get drunk, I have no desire to 'hook' up with some random piece of tail.

"Ok so maybe not the full college experience. But enough of it. No dorms, I don't want to scar some poor youngin' for life." I laughed at myself. Jasper turned to look at me and chuckled.

"Yeah, maybe dorms wouldn't be such a good idea." I leaned in and kissed him slowly at first. He turned his body into mine more and moaned. I took advantage of his open mouth and slid my tongue in getting lost in the taste of him. I would never tire of the way his mouth felt on mine. I leaned forward laying him back onto the desk and thrust my hips up into his. My hard on hitting his throbbing cock causing the most amazing sensation.

"Car, sweets, we…..need….so good," he seemed to be at a loss for words, "we need to stop." Ok that was not what I expected from him. He tried to pull away but I held on to his hips and thrust up again not willing to give in. He moaned again, that sound was quickly becoming my favorite sound ever.

"Why would we need to do that?" I asked thrusting up again.

"Ahhh…there is….shit…a reason." I chuckled I loved having this effect on him. It was nice not having advances rebuffed.

"Well if you can't remember it, ahh mother fuc….it must not be that important." Shit this felt so good. I picked up my pace a bit thrusting harder.

"No, NO!" He yelled causing me to stop, he was off my lap and across the room before I could blink.

"Why Jasper I don't understand. Do you not want me?" I felt the crippling rejection creep in.

"Carlisle no, I do, it's just that I want to take you out and have a proper date first." Oh don't I feel sheepish. I looked down at my hands feeling like a complete and utter fool.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I just.." I trailed off not knowing how to explain myself. He was kneeling in front of me so I was looking into his amazing eyes.

"Don't apologize. Don't ever be sorry for showing me you want me. But I really do want to take you out first." He leaned up and kissed me lightly.

"Ok, so where are we going?" He just shook his head indicating he wasn't going to tell me. Sneaky bastard. He stood up and held his hand out for me.

"It's a surprise sweets, so let's go so I can take my sexy man out for our first date!" He pulled me out of the chair and toward the door and around to the truck.

"So I take it you're driving?" He just opened the passenger side door and winked at me.

"I thought it was time I got to test drive this bad boy don't you? Plus I don't want to give away the surprise. We are going to have some fun and embrace your inner 20 something!" I giggled at that. I actually giggled. The thought of doing something fun and childish was exciting. I was so used to being the responsible adult. I honestly couldn't wait to see what he came up with.

We drove into town making light conversation about missing the family and joking about Emmett and Rose's reunion both of us being glad we were not going to be there for that. Finally we rolled into a parking lot and I looked up at the sign.

__

Big Bob's Fun Land

I looked over at Jasper who had a wicked glint in his eye.

"What is this place? Please tell me this isn't some like adult entertainment thing." I didn't think Jasper would bring me to a place like that but we were getting to know new sides of each other.

He just chuckled got out of the truck and came around to my side. I grabbed his hand as he led me inside. When we got in I couldn't help but laugh.

"Indoor Putt Putt?" I choked out between laughs.

"Hey, it's not just Putt Putt, it's also Go Cart's and Laser Tag!" He informed me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So this is what young people do on dates?" He just shrugged and made his way to the counter to get our clubs and balls. He paid for our games, which I felt weird about. But I knew this was something he wanted to do so I didn't protest.

"I think after our little office incident you deserve this ball." He whispered in my ear as he handed over the little blue ball. My eyes went wide as I looked over to see if the counter attendant heard him, and Jasper just laughed at me and winked.

"You are not funny." I shoulder checked him and made my way over to the first hole. There weren't a lot of people seeing as how it was the middle of the day on a school day. But that was good for us.

"I think I am hilarious!" He informed me with a punctuated slap to my ass as he passed me.

"So I have umm, never played mini golf, or gold of any kind." It was never something I would have considered before didn't really see the point. But anything I do with Jasper was going to be fun.

"Well," he started and wrapped his arms around me. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with PDA yet. I think he sensed it and pulled away looking hurt.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I just am not used to affection in public. Even with Esme we never touched or held hands when we were around others. Let's just ease into it a bit." He nodded and continued what he was saying.

"The goal is to get your little ball into the little hole at the other side of the green. It is not as easy as you may think. It is something our strength can't really help with. We are kind of on even ground with humans on this one." He smirked at me.

"Well I don't think I am too afraid of said little ball and hole. I am pretty confident in my abilities to get something in the right hole the first time around." I winked at him hopping he would get the double entendre. I saw his eyes go dark for a minute and knew instantly he did. Teasing Jasper was fun, screw putt putt if I got to do this all day I would be golden.

"Well Mr. Hole-in-One would you like to place a little wager on your mad skills?" Oh shit!

"What did you have in mind?" An almost evil smirk suddenly graces his face and I am almost frightened by what he might have in mind.

"If I win I get to have control of our next….bedroom excursion, and if you win it's all on you. But you won't win," He looks thoughtful for a minute and leans closer to me, "and there is something I have desperately been wanting to try." He finishes in my ear. I shiver and I'm not sure if I want to win or if I want him to. I wonder what it is he wants to try.

"Alright you're on!" This was going to be very interesting. He leaned down to place his ball on the tee and I notice how nice his ass looked in the jeans he was wearing.

"Sweets, if you don't rein that it I don't think I am going to go above and beyond your level of comfort in regards to PDA." Oh yeah, opps.

"Sorry." I watched as he took his stance over the little red ball and smacked it down the green. It didn't go in the hole but it was damn close.

"I haven't done this in years." I furrow my eye brows in confusion. When had he ever even been Putt Putting? He must have sensed my confusion.

"Alice and I would come up with some pretty interesting things to do when the family thought we were otherwise occupied." Oh, OH! That makes sense since they weren't actually together. Which brings up some interesting questions.

"How did you manage to hide this all from Edward for so long?" I took my stance noticing out of the corner of my eye Jasper shifting rather uncomfortable. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked away. I hit the ball down the green and it bounced off the back-boards and came almost all the way back to me. Damn too much strength.

"Well it wasn't without difficulty. At first we would fake some scenes so that we would have something to play back in our minds to make it more believable. It was always very awkward. I am sure if Edward looked closely at the memories he would have noticed how weird they looked but once he saw intimate thoughts he usually tried not to focus to hard on them, you know Edward always the prude, well until recently." He laughed at that. Yes Edward had always been more uptight then a turn of the century Priest. But since Bella he has loosened up considerably. I am happy he found someone to pull him out of his monkish ways.

"Yes, I am glad Edward has umm, opened up a bit. But you mean to tell me in 50 odd years he never got suspicious or anything?" I know that Edwards can be blocked but it's difficult to do it 24/7 usually little bits and pieces would slip through.

"We got very good at hiding our thoughts from him. It was hard the more I saw your relationship with Esme fall apart the more I began to hope." He grimaced. "Sorry, it's terrible that my hope came from your pain in your failing marriage." He looked upset as he walked down the green to his ball.

I watched him take his shot and sink it this time as I pondered this. I can see why he would be upset by being happy in what I thought was the end of my happiness. But I couldn't fault him either he waited decades for me to be ready. I would never hold that against him.

I went to where my ball was and tried to hit it into the hole again this time I didn't use enough force and it only moved about 4 feet. I don't think I am cut out for the finesse that golfing requires. I pouted at the ball hoping maybe the puppy dog eyes would force it in the hole. No such luck.

"Car, you can't will it in the hole with puppy dog eyes. They may work to get me to do what you want, the ball, not so much." Jack ass.

"Ok, I have another question smart ass." He just shook his head as we made our way to the next hole.

"You know you can ask me anything." My hand grazed his and a warm fuzzy feeling shot through me.

"Yeah, umm, ok. So when you first found Alice, or she found you, however you want to classify it now, how did you react when she told you your mate was currently with someone else and you would have to wait decades to be together." I was curious what really played out between him and Alice because obviously what we thought happened didn't.

"Well the first part of the story is true. I went into a diner to get out of the rain and she was there. She came up to me and said: 'You have kept me waiting a long time,' and that's usually where we would stop when we told people the story, in truth though she added to that statement, it was: 'You kept me waiting a long time, but not as long as your mate will keep you waiting.' I thought she was insane. I almost ran out of there until she stopped me. She said 'Jasper I know you're lonely and tired of killing. I know of a place we can go and don't have to hurt anyone anymore.'" He looked at me and smiled as we continued to putt and talk.

"She had intrigued me then. Not only did she know my name but she knew about my gift and my aversion to killing. I was still crept out but thought it best to listen to her. So she explained about all of you and your life-style. She told me that you would be my mate but that I would have to wait and that she didn't know exactly how long. She knew a lot about me so I didn't doubt her. Aside from the initial meeting you all know pretty much everything." I can't imagine just blindly trusting someone with my future like that and I was a fairly trusting person. "You also have to remember that I would have been able to tell if she was lying." That's right. Why do I keep forgetting that lately?

"I still think it was incredible that you just followed her blindly. But I am glad you did." I pulled him in for a quick hug I was really going to make an effort to get comfortable showing affection in public. It wasn't the fact that he was a man and I was ashamed that stopped me. Esme and I really never were open with each other like this so it is just weird for me. But I want to for him.

Jasper grabbed my hand and we made our way to the next hole. We continued to talk about the past and what he and Alice used to do when they were having their "couple" time. I found out that he was some what of a shark when it came to golf. It was one of the activities that he and Alice engaged in often. He totally set me up and I couldn't even find it in myself to care.

We finished with the golfing. He won obviously the smug look on his face would annoy me if it wasn't so damn hot! We turned in our clubs and made our way to the Go Carts. This was something I could do. I loved to drive. He was going down now.

"So, what's the wager this time?" I asked him good naturedly.

"No wager this time. I got what I wanted now let's just have fun." My jaw dropped. I knew he planned that.

"You little ass." I jabbed him in the side with my elbow.

"You love my little ass." He replied cheekily. I just rolled my eyes.

"Maybe I do. What are you going to do about it?" I enjoyed our flirty banter it was light and carefree something I haven't felt in centuries.

"Oh just wait your time will come." He chuckled and started to walk away. I had to laugh at the pun I know he intended. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and wrapped my arms around him pulling him back to my chest.

"I can't wait for my time to cum." I whispered in his ear and felt him shiver slightly. He shook his head to clear it from what I assumed to be images of whatever he had planned for me and turned into my arms.

"All in good time old man." He pecked me on the nose and pulled out of my embrace and made his way to the indoor race track. Wait Old Man! What the hell!

"Well prepare for this OLD MAN," I emphasized, "to kick your ass, child." He just rolled his eyes at me like a true teenager and I laughed.

"I think you have been pretending to be a teenager for too long." I informed him. He looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Maybe. Does that bother you? Are you having trouble with the transition?" His voice held the trepidation he felt. When this all first started to happen I admit it was weird but now it doesn't bother me. I never saw him as my child like I saw Edward or Rose. He was more of a friend and confidant.

I was about to answer him when the small que moved up and it was our turn to get in the little cars. I jumped into a green and yellow one next to the red and black one Jasper was in and revved the engine a little. There was a young man in front of us going over safety information of the Go Carts and rules of the track. I wasn't really paying to much attention. There were only a few other people in the other cars that looked to be late teens early 20's.

Once the little man was done with his spiel we waited for the stop lights to do their count down.

Red.

Red.

Yellow.

Yellow.

Green!

I stomped on the gas and shoot forward making my way around the first turn. I looked over and saw Jasper neck and neck with me. I will admit I can walk faster then the little cars but it was still fun to play. For the first time in a long time I was laughing and embracing my youth. I never felt more alive then I did today. It was so simple but so profound.

We kept going around the indoor track some times he would pull ahead then I would it was a neck and neck race. We were rounding the last curve when the attendant informed us it was last lap. I was determined to win. I was learning that deep down I was a pretty competitive person. I turned and saw Jazz the nose of his car was right at my front wheels. It was going to be close. I pushed the peddle a little further and lurched forward just as we crossed the finish line. I beat him!

I rolled to a stop and jumped out just as he was getting out of him car he didn't look happy as I did my victory dance. I knew the Major did not like losing.

"Well aren't you just adorable with your little happy dance there." He came and pulled me too him. "Just remember I still won the bet." He whispered in my ear and lick my jaw quickly.

"Oh, I remember, you won't let me forget. Let's go check out this laser tag stuff." I grabbed his hand and we made our way out to the warehouse that was turned into the indoor laser tag field. I looked at it and saw it was dark with black light. That could be a problem. Jasper seemed to notice at the same time.

"Shit we can't be under black light." He hissed. Several years ago Emmett decided he wanted to turn the basement into a rave and brought in all sorts of black lights when we got under them we found out our skin almost glowed under them. It was really freaky actually. I think it was because we were so pale. But we couldn't really be under the lights with humans around they would defiantly know something was up.

"It's ok I had fun and anyway I don't need the Major kicking my ass on the battlefield. You most assuredly have an advantage out there." I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him toward the exit.

"Well maybe on the next overcast day we can play paint ball or something." That could be fun. Montana didn't get that many cloudy days, like today was, but on occasion we would be lucky.

"So where are we going to go instead?" I inquired not wanting the date to end.

"Well, I had something planned but that's not for another few hours. I was counting on laser tag to keep us occupied until it was time. But maybe we could just go to a diner and pretend to eat and talk. I believe I asked you a question earlier that was never answered." I nodded as we got in the truck. A few minutes later he pulled into a small family diner. We made our way in and notice everyone staring at us. I couldn't be sure if it was because we were holding hands or because of our unnatural beauty but I tried to ignore it. We went and sat at a booth in the back corner of the diner.

The waitress came over looking a little cautious but I just smiled at her, being careful not to show too much of my teeth, hoping to get her to calm down. We just ordered some coffee and pie.

"So did you enjoy your first experience with mini-golf?" He took my hand over the table and squeezed.

"I did. Although I think you cheated. You never told me you had been before so you had an unfair advantage." I pouted. He threw his head back and laughed at me. It was the best sound in the world. I never realized how much he and I both help back. Seeing him so alive and carefree was amazing.

"Maybe I did cheat a little but it will be worth it. So are you going to answer my question from earlier?" Oh yes, he wanted to know if I was having trouble with the change in our dynamic.

"It was different at first, I will admit. But I have to remember that you are not actually the teenager you portrayed all these years. In fact physically speaking you are only about two and a half years younger then me. You have been a soldier, you have seen and done more then most of us. Not all of it was pleasant but it's my vow from now on that life will be nothing but good memories and happy times." I wanted nothing more then for him to be happy and whole.

He leaned over the table and kissed me passionately. I got lost in the feeling, I would never understand what I did to deserve this God like man but I wasn't going to question it. We were pulled from our moment by the clearing of a throat. I looked up and saw our waitress standing there with our coffee and pie looking a little wistful. I wonder what that was about but? I didn't really have time to ponder it before she was gone.

"She was feeling lonely, sad, and a bit jealous." Jasper informed me. That's too bad she must not have someone in her life like I do. I was suddenly very content and happy. I smiled over at Jasper who just beamed at me. I knew he felt it.

"Well, baby, it seems like we want the same things for each other. I want you to know what it's like to be in a truly loving and 100% committed relationship. I want to spend the rest of my existence making up for every pain and hurt ever caused you, making up for every year of loneliness you had to endure." I didn't have a response for him I was in awe. Yes this man was mine folks, you can't have him!

We pretended to eat and just pushed the pie around our plates. I really wanted to know what else he had planned but didn't ask. I was enjoying the mystery. We just talked about mundane things for a while until it was time to leave for the next part of the date. We paid the bill and made our way out to the truck. He opened the door for me again.

That was something I was not used to and I don't think I ever would be. I could endure letting him take the reins on occasion but I don't think I would be able to do it all the time. I was going to have to talk to him about that. He took my hand a squeezed in silent acknowledgement that he knew something was up.

He drove us to a little park where I saw a big white screen in the center of it. It was just starting to get dark. He pulled a blanket out of the back and met me at my side of the truck.

"What is this?" I questioned him as he took my hand and lead me to the park.

"When it starts to warm up they do movies in the park. Tonight they are showing a Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire film. I thought it would be nice to watch out here." He knew I loved these old movies. I couldn't believe how much thought he put into this.

He spread the blanket down and I sat on it and pulled him to lean against me. I loved feeling him in my arms. I kissed the side of him neck and inhaled the soothing scent that is Jasper.

"Why don't you tell me what had you feeling pensive in the truck." I ran my hands up and down his arms. I was amazed at myself and how quickly I was getting comfortable showing affection in public. It seemed to come natural when the person involved was Jasper.

"Oh, well I am not sure how you will take this. But it's just I'm not used to being doted on and stuff. Don't get me wrong I enjoy it. I like you taking care of me a bit, but I think that a majority of the time I like being the one doing the doting and pampering. Does this make sense?" I felt him chuckle in my arms.

"So what you're saying is that you don't wanna be the chick." I looked down at him with a slack jaw. I guess that was what I was saying.

"It's just I know that you are used to being in control and in charge, but so am I. I mean I have been the leader of this family for almost as long as you have been alive. I don't think I am going to be able to give that." He turned his head up to look at me..

"Car, I am not asking you to give that up. In fact I enjoy relinquishing control to you." A look of shock must have crossed my face and he just laughed again. "Here's the thing Car, I have spent so long fighting, telling people what to do, when to do it, and being so responsible for everyone. I am ready and willing to give you the control. But I do request that on occasion you allow the Major to come out and play." He smirked at me.

"Oh I think that can be arranged!" I captured his mouth with mine and swept my tongue over his bottom lip begging for entrance to my new heaven. Just as I was about to get lost in the moment I heard the music start signaling the start of the film. We pulled apart and turned to screen. The park had filled up in the time we had been otherwise occupied.

Fortunately we were somewhat hidden in the rear under one of the massive willow trees. We settled in and enjoyed the show. Through out some people would get up and attempt to dance with the stars on the screen. It was funny to watch them attempt the fast paced choreography but they all seemed to be having fun.

During one of the slower dances I looked at Jasper and had the sudden urge to dance with him. I decided to embrace my impulsive side as I stood up and held out my hand to him. He took it as I pulled him into my arms and started moving with the music.

The world disappeared. Nothing else mattered except that he was in my arms. Dancing with him like this was so intimate and amazing. There was no need for words, no need for anything other then just being together. I could feel the love radiating off him.

"I love you too." I whispered. He leaned further into the embrace neither of us noticing the song we had been dancing to was long over. I don't know how long we stood there just basking in the love we were generating but I noticed eventually people started to get up and leave as I looked at the screen I saw that the credits were rolling.

"I guess we should go." I rested my head on top of his as he leaned his head into my chest. He sighed and raised his face to mine sealing me in a deep kiss once again.

"I guess you're right." He stated as he pulled away. We grabbed the blanket and made our way back to the truck hand in hand.

* * *

The last few days with Jasper since our date had been amazing. Just laying in bed getting to know each other with the new dynamic we had. We made out like teenagers but didn't go any further then that.

We didn't always have to talking just being in each others presence reading, watching movies or cuddling was enough. One thing that was missing though was the lack of sexual contact. I don't know why but something just didn't feel right about it yet.

As I was pondering what it could be I realized Jasper was missing. I went in search of him following the most recent scent trail he left all the way to his bedroom. I went in but didn't see him anywhere until I heard the door slam behind me.

I spun around to see my beautiful solider standing there with no shirt on and felt my lust hit an all time high. I saw him shiver before speaking.

"Take off your clothes and get on the bed." Oh shit yeah! Major come out to play and making good on his bet winnings. I was momentarily stunned in place when I felt him come up behind me. "I will not ask again." This low warning jarred me in to action.

I made quick work of my jeans and t-shirt leaving myself in my boxers as I made my way to the bed.

"Was there something about my instructions that you failed to understand?" I furrowed my brows not sure what he was talking about. "I said take of your clothes, I meant all of them." Oh shit, duh. I made quick work of my boxers as I felt myself growing hard with anticipation. I laid down on the bed and noticed that he was standing at the end making no move to join me.

"Jasper, baby, what…" I was cut off before I could finish.

"I told you several days ago that I wanted to try something." I was suddenly hit with a large wave of lust and pleasure. I arched my back off the bed as I was assaulted with the feelings.

"Oh shit…..Jazz what are you…..fuck," I could hardly get the words out as another wave of ecstasy hit me. My cock was throbbing begging for attention, "damn, what are you doing to me?" I reached down to grab my rock hard shaft but my hand was swatted away.

"You will not touch yourself. Am I clear?" It was a command and I found myself get impossibly harder at the tone of his voice.

"Yyesssss." I hissed out as another wave of lust and pleasure crashed into me.

"I know we haven't really moved forward physically. There was a reason for it. I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and that our next encounter was not the result of an emotionally traumatic experience. From the frustration you have been emanating the last few days I figured we were safe to pursue some other avenues of pleasure." I whimpered as I felt him pull back of the sensations he was sending out. "I also want to show you exactly what my gift is capable of." I snapped my eyes shut tight as the lust, euphoria, and pleasure came back ten fold. I could already feel the coil in my stomach begin to tighten.

I felt the bed dip as Jasper situated himself behind me. He put his hands on my chest palm down each hand covering my pectorals.

"I'm going to show you how to fly." He whispered in my ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth. I was thrashing wildly as I felt blissful feelings shoot through my body and down to my raging cock.

"FUCK!" I cried out I was already on the edge and he hadn't even touch me.

"No baby, we will not be fucking, not yet at least." His hands moved down my chest to my abdomen as the coil tightened further. He moved his mouth from my ear down my neck sucking and licking as he went. I felt his teeth scrapped over my Adams Apple and moaned.

"Please, Jazz….damn…" he pressed his hand into my stomach and the exquisite feelings intensified again, but I needed more, "please….touch me." I gasped out as I thrashed again. I could feel his steel shaft digging into my back and I made it a point to press back into him hoping to coax him to move his hand further down to where I wanted it most.

"Shit," I heard him hiss through my haze, "baby don't. This is about you. Please." His hands slid further down and I thought finally I was going to get what I wanted. Only they stopped right at my pubic bone as he pushed his hand against me again the coil tightened even further. I clenched my teeth and gripped onto his thighs so tightly I think I may have caused some damage.

"Are you ready baby?" He asked.

"God….yessss….fuck….please." I know begging isn't very becoming but I couldn't help it. I was panting and writhing in the most amazing torture imaginable.

"Ok here come your wings." He covered my mouth with his as his tongue explored the cavern of my mouth.

I felt the sensations coursing through my body begin to recede only to become more concentrated in my very core. Stars started exploding in front of my eyes and I swear that I actually left the bed as the coil in my core finally snapped. My cock pulsed as I screamed out and came harder then I ever thought possible.

"Jasssperrrrr…..FUCK!" I felt like it was never going to end as I shot stream after stream of cool cum all over my stomach and Jaspers hands.

I continued to pant as I felt myself start to fall back to earth. I didn't want to come back down. I had never experienced something so intimate and arousing at the same time. If he could do that with out even touching me, Oh My Lord, I was going to pass out from the pleasure.

My breathing started to regulate again but I had no idea how long it took. I finally opened my eyes and looked up at a very amused and happy Jasper. He brought his hand to him mouth and sucked my cum off his fingers and I swear I almost came again. That had to be the hottest thing I have ever seen.

"Yummy, sweets, you taste better then any dream I could come up with." He closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure.

"Shit Jasper, that was…I am at a loss for words." He smirked at me.

"So obviously it worked." I cocked my head to the side. What did he mean it worked?

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Well I had never tried just using my gift to do something like that. I was always curious if it would work, and from your reaction and excessive recovery time I guess it did." Excessive recovery time, how long had I been out of it?

"About twenty minutes." He answered me.

"Oh, I guess I said that out loud didn't I?" He chuckled at me and I turned so I was straddling his waist.

"Yes you did." I ground down into him. He needed to lose the pants right now. I moved my hand down his amazing torso to the button on his jeans. His hand came up and covered mine pulling it away.

"Carlisle stop. You don't need to do this." That's where he was wrong.

"Yes I do. Please let me." I kissed his collar bone and licked up the column of his throat causing him to growl and release my hand. I immediately resumed relieving him of the offending article. He lifted his hips as I scooted down his legs with his pants following quickly behind me. Oh shit he was going commando.

I had never given a man a blow job before and I had actually only gone down on Esme once or twice she didn't like it she said. I was nervous that I would be bad at it. Minutes ago I was more then enthusiastic at the possibility of showing his even a fraction of the pleasure he had shown me. But as I sat there staring at his weeping cock doubt started to creep its way in.

Jasper grabbed my arms and pulled me up to him so I was looking him in the eyes.

"Baby you don't have to do this if you aren't ready. I can wait." Could he be any sweeter.

"I just am nervous I don't know what to do. What if I'm bad at it?" I lowered my face. He kissed my forehead and forced me to look at him again.

"Not possible. Just channel that inner strength I know you have and don't let doubt ruin this, as long as it's you it will be perfect." He kissed me deeply again and I felt his tongue ask for entrance. Instead I forced my tongue past his lips and battle for control, and I was going to win. He was right I wasn't going to let my doubt rule me and dictate my actions.

Breaking from the kiss I used my tongue to trace his jaw and followed my previous trail down the length of his throat letting it dip into the crevice at the base of his throat. My mouth made its way down his sternum and over to his right nipple where I snaked my tongue out and flicked it eliciting a groan of pleasure from Jasper.

"You like that?" I teased and did it again. His hands made their way to my blond locks as he hissed. My other hand moved up and pinched his left nipple rolling it between my fingers.

"Oh God, yesss, baby so good." He pulled lightly on my hair.

"Just wait, you're not the only one who can show someone how to fly." My mouth left his chest and made it's way down his taunt stomach. I traced each defined muscle as he arched his back into me.

"Please Car, driving….me….crazy…" I knew he was already worked up from what he had just done to me so I figured I could put him out of his misery. I made my way lower and poked my tongue into his belly button causing a almost feral growl to rip from his chest.

"FUCK…..baby..so damn good." I smirked up at him as I reached his happy trail, happy indeed. I was finally at my destination as I paused briefly taking in the glorious sight that is Jaspers hard, thick, long cock. He was most certainly not lacking in that department. I spotted the glistening pre-cum leaking from the tip and poked my tongue out to get my first taste. I closed my eyes and hummed in satisfaction. Never in my existence would I have thought I would like the taste of another man, but Jasper was like the finest ambrosia and I wanted more.

With that thought I pushed all my nerves aside and twirled my tongue around the head of his shaft.

"Umm, baby, you taste so good." I opened my mouth and pulled just the head in as his hands griped my hair tighter and his hips thrust forward slightly causing me to take more of him. I lightly slapped his thigh and put my arm over his stomach to keep him in place.

"Shit…Car…please don't tease me." I looked up at him through my eyelashes and winked as I took all of him in my mouth this time. I made my way down his shaft sucking as I went. On my way back up I flattened my tongue on the thick vain on the underside of his amazing cock. Reaching the head again I dipped my tongue into the slit.

"Oh God, baby, so good." He threw his head back hitting the head board with a loud thud. His hands tightened even more in my hair, I was sure if I was human he would have been pulling it out. I worked my way back down his shaft relaxing my throat taking him all the way down until my nose meet with the soft blond curls at the base of his dick.

"Baby, I love you so much, oh God," he tried thrusting his hips up again but I kept him in place. I swallowed around him and moved my free hand up to his balls and rolled them gently. I could see his abdominal muscles contracting and knew he wouldn't last long.

I hummed around the throbbing head and swirled my tongue around it again.

"Mother fuck….please don't stop…so close." He pleaded with me. I went back down his shaft pulling firmly on his sac and swallowing around him again.

"Ahhhh….shit Car, so close, move baby." I had no intention of moving. I wanted to taste more of him. He tried to tug me off but I held firm as I worked my way up and down hallowing my cheeks on the up stroke and swallowing around him on the down stokes. A few passes later he arched his back off the bed as he tensed.

"FUUCKKKKK. CARRRRR!" He screamed out as he hit the back of my throat once more and exploded in my mouth. I drank him in greedily. God I could live off that taste. Amazing. I lapped at his cock trying to prolong his orgasm. He started softening in my mouth and I released him with a audible pop and crawled back up his body. He was panting trying to get his unneeded breath regulated.

I leaned in a kissed him. "Was that ok?" I pulled back from his lips only to have him pull me towards him again. He shoved his tongue in my mouth no doubt tasting himself on me. I couldn't help the growl that escaped my chest.

"Ok? Ok? Car, baby that was fantastic." He informed me once he released my mouth. "Where did you learn that?" I turned my head away. I didn't want to tell him that while I was in Alaska I might have done a bit of research, and by research I mean I might have watched some porn. "You can tell me I won't laugh I promise." I sighed and turned back to him.

"Fine I watched some porn when I was in Alaska. I didn't want to go into this flying blind." I looked down again. He put his finer under my chin and lifted it to him.

"Don't be embarrassed I think it's hot, and I appreciate that you wanted to be good for me. Trust me you were amazing." I pulled him into my arms and he curled into me.

"Well you weren't so bad yourself. I can't wait to keep exploring this side of our relationship." I was stroking his arm and his were wrapped around my waist. We fell into a comfortable silence both completely content and sated.

"I love you Carlisle." He kissed my chest.

"I love you too Jasper." I inhaled his scent as I buried my face into his curls. I couldn't wait for our next 'encounter'.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here you go everyone! Heads up for you MAJOR LEMON chapter! **

**As always thank you to my wonderful Beta who even when shit is going on is like a machine in getting this back to me! Jaspered01 you rock my world.**

**JPOV:**

I can't believe how far we have come. Going on our date and being able to be with him and open was amazing. It felt unbelievable to just be in his arms and to be able to kiss him, hug him, or hold his hand with out worry.

I did set him up at the fun center and I can't for the life of me bring myself to feel guilty about it. I had been wanting to try using my gift that way for years, but wanted it to be something between my mate and I. Which is why I had never tried to do it with any of my other partners. Certain parts of my gift were too intimate to share with just anyone.

The look on his face when he came was something I wanted to see everyday for the rest of my existence. It was truly magnificent.

The night we spent together was incredible. We didn't need to have sex to feel the connection we had, it transcended physical planes. The feeling of his mouth on me just thinking about it now was enough to make we come, and staying in his arms basking in our post orgasmic bliss was the closest to heaven I think I will ever come.

I was tracing the outline of his abs and drawing patterns across his hip bones just enjoying the secure feeling and being wrapped so tightly in his embrace. I thought back on our date some more. It was the most fun I can remember having in years. Watching him slowly open up and become more comfortable with the public side of a relationship was great. I was a little surprised at how open he seemed to be about our roles in our relationship. But in all honesty I had expected this.

He was a natural leader. Everyone looked to him for decisions. Not just the family but colleagues and other people in general. While yes I was also a natural leader I didn't always enjoy it. People constantly looking at me for guidance really did get on my nerves after awhile. I had grown tired of all the responsibility and was happy to hand the reins over to someone I trusted. I was glad that he was ok with passing them back to me on occasion though. I had plans for that body of his!

My hand moved from his hips and abdomen up his sides and I felt the muscles contract and him giggle a little, yes I said giggle. Guess I found a ticklish spot. I did it again and he tried to squirm away from my assault on his sides.

"Jasper, stop, that tickles." I didn't stop.

"Really, wouldn't have guessed that when you started giggling like a little girl." I poked him in the side again only to illicit a low warning growl this time. Damn that was sexy.

"I did not giggle like a little girl." He hissed out the low rumble in his chest continuing. I snickered and poked him again. Suddenly I was on my back with my arms pinned above my head. Humm, I think I like this better.

Before I could think his mouth descended onto my neck lightly biting and sucking causing me to shiver in pleasure. We were still naked from the night before and I could feel the tip of his erection on my thigh. He was keeping most of his weight off me. I looked down wanted to get a better look at my man. I would never get tired of seeing all of him. He really was beautiful and huge in both length and girth. I was a lucky boy, but even for a vampire I knew that shit was going to hurt the first time.

I stopped suddenly realizing what I just thought. Normally I never considered bottoming. I only did it with James when he got so aggressive I didn't see a way out of it without having major damage done. Was I really going to just give in so easily to Carlisle?

He flicked his tongue out over my Adams Apple and then closed his mouth around it causing a vacuum effect. I groaned feeling myself harden instantly and knew I had my answer. Hell yes I was going to give into him. I would do anything for this man.

I tried to clear my thoughts and just focus on the sensations he was stirring in me. He made his way across my jaw and over to my ear taking the fleshy lobe into his mouth and grazing it with his teeth.

"Fuck, sweets, feels so good." My voice was thick with lust and I bucked my hips instinctively into him. He shook his head in reprimand and lowered his hips to mine making it impossible to move them and get the friction I so desperately needed.

"I love you baby." He whispered in my ear before his lips met mine in a searing kiss. His tongue forced his way in and I could see dominate Carlisle coming to the forefront of our playtime. I fucking loved it.

"You know you really shouldn't tease if you aren't prepared to deal with the consequences." He admonished. At this point I could most defiantly deal with the them I needed him so bad, anything from him would do!

"Who says….shit," he shifted his hips just right causing his hard length to slid against mine, "I can't…please…Car more…please." He lightly shifts his hips again and I arch into him my chest meeting his.

"I think you need a lesson in patience." He informs me and I growl. He pulls away and quirks his eyebrow at me in question.

"I have 60 years worth of blue balls here! I think I win the fucking patience award of the century!" I hiss at him. He is up and off me in seconds standing on the side of the bed. I realize now that the statement may not have been the smartest thing in the world.

"So what you think I owe you!" He shouts at me. I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed sitting on the edge still painfully hard.

"No, Car, that's not what I meant. I just, fuck! Why can't I ever say the right fucking thing anymore!" I run my hands over my face in frustration.

"I know you had to wait, and I am sorry for that. But you can't keep brining it up. It's like you are punishing me for something I didn't even know about. It makes me feel guilty and bitter." I could feel the guilt and frustration pouring off him. He was right I did keep brining it up. I can't hold him responsible for something he was not given a choice in.

"You're right Car, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. It's not your fault and it's not fair for me to throw it out there all the time. I just need you so much now that I actually have you. I get so overwhelmed with the feeling of having you with me I lose all train of rational thought." I tried to explain this to him I only hope that he can forgive me. I look up at him and hear him sigh. I open my arms to him and hope he will come into them willingly.

He walks over and I wrap my arms around his waist as he steps between my legs.

"Please forgive me Car, please I don't want to fight with you." I plead with my face buried in his stomach. He starts working his fingers through my blonde curls.

"I forgive you, just please don't let it happen again." He pushed me back on the bed again taking up our previous position. I groaned as he rolled his hips into mine.

"I guess though you do have a point. You have wait for so long. Maybe I can give you a reward." He licks from the base of my throat up to my jaw and over to my lips flicking them lightly. I was panting so loud it was almost embarrassing.

"Yes! Please….Jesus…something….anything." He chuckled lightly and pulled away from my mouth and looked at me.

"I want to see something." He shifted so he was laying next to me and I whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Wh..what do you want to see?" I managed to choke out.

"I want you to touch yourself. I want to see how you bring yourself pleasure." He was running his hands up and over my chest occasionally tweaking my nipples. Oh Shit! That was fucking hot.

I turned on my side to face him and brought my lips to his kissing him with all the passion I could muster as I trailed my hand down my stomach to my aching erection. He stopped me just before I reached my goal and pulled my hand to his mouth running his tongue over my palm a few times to get it slick.

"Ummm, does every part of you have to taste so damn good?" He questioned as I just stared at him in awe. He released my hand, "Please continue." He ordered and I wasted no time in grabbing my hard shaft in my hands and squeezing lightly.

"Fuck, so damn hard," I slowly started moving my hand up applying more pressure as I reached the throbbing head sweeping my thumb over the tip before descending back down to the base. I looked back over at Carlisle who had turned on his side facing me also and noticed that he was watching my face intently.

"You are so beautiful when you are lost in the moment." He leaned forward capturing my lips again in a brief kiss before breaking away and finally looking down to see what I was doing. I heard a sharp in take of breath and smirked when I felt his lust spike. Only one thing could make this better. I grabbed his hand and repeated the palm licking action he had just performed on me.

"I want to see you also." I informed him and he moaned but made no move to reach for his weeping cock. I took his hand in my free one and moved it down to steel shaft wrapping his hands around it for him helping him pump it a few times.

"Oh fuck!" He cried out. I pulled my hand away and watched as he kept up the rhythm I set for him.

"Does it feel good baby?" I ask. He just nods his head as he squeezes his eyes shut tightly. "What are you thinking about?" I want to know what he is seeing while he strokes himself. At this point my hand has slowed down to an almost stop I am so wrapped up in his actions.

"You….only…shit….you." He arch's his back pushing his chest into me. I look up from where his hands are working himself into a frenzy and notice he is watching me.

"Why did you stop, I want to do this together, please, let me see you." I could not deny him. I started to pick my pace up again when I noticed his other hand had reached down to collect some of the pre-cum accumulating at the tip of my erection. That little touch had me aching even more and I applied a bit more pressure.

"What are…..damn it…Christ….doing?" He leaned in and kissed me when I felt his hand on my ass. Oh, OH! Fuck yes!

"I want to do something just relax." With his one hand still working himself I felt his other hand slid between the cheeks using the cum as a form of lube. He slid his finger up and down my crack circling my tight hole before moving back towards my balls. When he got there he applied some pressure to the perineum causing me to thrust forward. Shit that was good.

"Oh fucking hell…..!" He continued to make passes up to my hole circling it a few times before returning to my perineum pressing hard each time as I continued to thrust into my hand. I could feel the tightening in my stomach and balls and knew I was close.

"Car, baby, so…uhh….close. Are you close?" I really want us to come together but I was going to lose my shit soon. He was breathing heavier our cocks were so close. I reached over and pulled his hips closer and pushed his hand out of the way. I took both out cocks in my hand and started pumping them again loving the new sensation of my hard length rubbing against his. I was so lost in the new feeling I almost didn't feel the added pressure over my tight hole but instinctively tensed up when he started to push through.

"So close too beautiful, just relax. Do you want me to stop?" He question my comfort level still at the forefront of his mind. Once I got used to the sensation again I was fine with the intrusion it was just unexpected.

"No, God please…..don't stop!" With my approval he pushed his finger in to the knuckle pausing to let me adjust. When he felt me relax he started thrusting his finger in and out of me curling it and hitting that amazing sweet spot deep inside. Shit it had been to long since that had been done.

"FUCCKKK!" I cried as he kept hitting the spot over and over again. I knew I wasn't going to last more then a few minutes if he kept this up so I doubled my efforts on our raging cocks. I can feel the coil about to snap as I start to convulse in pleasure. I feel Carlisle start to tense also and look up at him. Staring into his now black orbs I can feel the love running off of him and I snap at the same time I hear him scream.

"SHITTTTT, JAZZZZ!" I continue to pump us through our climax as I feel cool spurts of sticky cum coat my hand and stomach. I feel us start to soften in my hand and move it away from my hyper sensitive appendage as he removes himself from my ass. I feel saddened at the loss of this connection. But know that now that we have started to explore this side of our relationship it will only be a matter of time until we are together in every way possible.

"That was incredible." I assure him as he leans in to kiss the tip of my nose.

"Yes it was. Thank you." He pulled me into his arms and I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck taking time to regulate my breathing and come down from one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. We just laid there holding on to each other panting and sticky and loving every second of it.

After an immeasurable amount of time he shifted away from me sitting up. I hated leaving his arms, but as he moved off the bed he held his hand out to me. I took it unquestioningly as he led me to the bathroom.

He started the shower and adjusted the temperature so that it would at least feel somewhat warm on our frozen skin and pulled me under the sprays.

"So that is one huge difference with gay sex. Clean up!" I had to laugh with him he was right about that but I thought it was worth it. "Not that I am complaining 'cause it was hot as hell and I wouldn't trade you for anything in this world." His sentiment filled me with so much emotion that I almost buckled under the weight of it.

"God I love you so much Car." I captured his lips with a fire that seemed to almost consume me whole. I could feel him twitch to life against my stomach. This was one reason I loved being a vampire, recovery time! Enough said!

"I love you too Jazz, more then I ever thought possible. I can't imagine life with out you." He answered into my lips and I felt him twitch again. I suddenly remembered that still had yet to taste him. Something I had been longing to do for years and was going to remedy right now.

"My turn baby." I informed him and kissed my way down his jaw sucking on his clavicle before moving to his chest.

"Shit babe, your mouth feels so damn good." He groaned out.

I pulled one of his nibbles into my mouth sucking as I grazed my teeth over it feeling it pebble under my ministrations. I moved over to the other side paying it the same amount of attention. I moved him so his back hit the wall of the shower as I dipped my tongue into his bellybutton as I made my descent to my tasty treat. As I got closer to my prize his scent got more concentrated. The cinnamon, orange, and that one thing that just made him smell like him was overtaking my brain. I couldn't wait to see if he tasted as good as he smelled.

I inhaled deeply when I got the short hairs resting on his pubic bone and closed my eyes to savor it for a few moments. . I couldn't wait anymore and sat back on my heals briefly to get a closer look at the shear perfection that was Carlisle's cock.

"Perfect." I whispered reverently as my tongue darted out to finally taste the very essence of him and moaned when it hit my taste buds. It was better then the finest wine and I couldn't wait to drink my fill. With that thought in mind I set at my task of getting to the divine substance as quickly as I could.

"Oh…mother fucking shit…..Christ…!" He stuttered out incoherent phrases as I licked up the thick vein on the underside of his cock before taking the dead into my mouth and swirling my tongue around and dipping into the slit.

His hands flew to my hair pulling lightly as I took more of him in my mouth. I relaxed my throat and let him slid down swallowing around him as I did. He thrust his hips forward so hard I almost fell backwards. I moved my hands up to his hips to hold him still as I worked him up and down.

"Damn, baby, watching….uhhh….my cock in your….shiiiitttt…mouth is so….fuck!" He couldn't get the last words out as I moved one of my hands off his hip and to his balls lightly pulling and rolling them in my hands. I could only think of one thing better then having him in my mouth and that would be to have him pounding into my ass, but that would have to wait.

I hummed around him and took him deep in my throat again as I moved my hand from his balls to massage his perineum. I felt his legs start to shake a little and wrapped my free arm around him for support as I applied more pressure to the sweet spot.

"FUCK! I had no idea…..GOD DAMN IT…..that would feel sooooo….good." Oh just wait. I moved my slick fingers up his ass and slowly circled his hole. I looked up at him to gage his reaction and just saw love and acceptance and lust there so took that as my cue to continue.

I slowly pressed my middle finger in past the tight ring of muscles and felt him tense slightly so I sucked harder on his cock hoping to distract him from the discomfort. After a few seconds he relaxed around me and I pushed in further. Once I was in up to my knuckle I released him from my mouth.

"Are you ok sweets?" I wanted to make sure I wasn't pushing him too far to fast. "I can stop if you want." He shook his head furiously.

"Oh God…no…don't stop….please." With that assurance I took his now pulsing dick back in and started thrusting my finger in time with my mouth.

"AHHHHHH, SHIT!" His head was thrashing back and forth and I hadn't even found his prostate yet. I curled my finger in search of the wonder button and knew instantly when I found it as his grip on my hair got almost painful, and he thrust forward releasing a sting of expletives that would make a sailor blush!

"Jesus…fucking….holy shit…..was that?" I didn't respond but did it again with much the same result. I loved making him come undone. I sucked and thrust at an inhumane pace when I felt him start to tense and knew his release was emanate.

"Oh God," he pulled on my hair in warning but I had no intention of backing away, "Jazz…baby…I'm….!" He didn't have time to finish before he was shooting down my throat and I lapped it up greedily. God he tasted amazing if I never tasted anything else besides Carlisle's cum for the rest of my existence I would be a very happy man, vampire, whatever!

Once the streams of liquid gold stopped I released him from my mouth and withdrew my finger from him causing him to whimper. I could imagine he would be a little sore from the intrusion having never had any form of anal penetration before. We would have to ease into that if he ever let me top for him.

He pulled me up and attacked my mouth with his no doubt tasting himself on me, but he didn't seem to mind and that in and of it self was hot.

"Jasper, my beautiful solider that was…wow words escape me." He kissed me again as I grabbed the sponge and body was from behind me.

"I'm glad. I only ever want to make you feel good. I love you." I kissed him again as we took our time washing each other, worshiping and praising one another.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asked as I shut off the water and got us some towels to dry off. I honestly wanted nothing more then to lay in his arms until the rest of the family came in two weeks but wasn't sure that would be a good idea. We would need to hunt soon. For some reason sexual activity seemed to drain us of our blood supply faster then usual so the need to replenish after such activates was required.

"We could just lay around read, watch movies, talk, just enjoy being together before the craziness of family is on us again. We will also need to hunt soon." We made our way back to the bedroom where I went and got us some lounge pants from the dresser. Once dressed and settled on the bed with books in hand we fell into a peaceful silence just basking in the euphoria we created by being together.

* * *

The rest of the first week and a half was spent exploring each others bodies, watching movies, reading, going into town, and just being together as a couple. We hunted a few times had some fun in the woods also. It was as close to perfect we could actually get with out having sex, and I wasn't complaining. I felt like a teenager, it was wonderful.

We were halfway into our second week when I knew I needed to hunt again. All the activity we had been engaging in was sucking me dry literally.

We were currently sitting in the living room curled up reading. Carlisle was still torn about his major so kept reading through the course offerings. I was reading through one of the newest published civil war history books. It was frustrating at how inaccurate it was.

"You ok baby?" Carlisle nudged me.

"Humm, oh yeah. This new book is just historically inaccurate and was annoying me." He nodded in understanding.

"Would you like to watch a film, or maybe go see a movie?" He kissed my forehead. I really couldn't go into town in my current state. I would need to hunt first.

"We could go see something but I need to hunt first would you like to join me?" He looked thoughtful for a few seconds before shaking his head.

"No I am ok. I have a few things to do in my office. I need to finish up my application for Dartmouth and I had some things I wanted to research. You go ahead when you get back we can go." I nodded, kissing him briefly and made my way out to the woods.

I made my way back to the house after my short hunt not wanting to spend more time away from Carlisle then I had to. As I ran I thought more about our time together.

The last few days had been amazing. We connected on a level I had never connected with anyone, that might be because previous conquests were not my mate. We hadn't even had sex yet and I honestly couldn't wait for that final piece of our relationship to fall into place. I knew it would probably take some time for him to be comfortable with it, but I could be patient a bit longer.

I made my way back to the house and to Carlisle's study when I heard the strangest sounds coming from behind the door. I listened closer as I made my way down the hall. There was the unmistakable sounds of moaning, panting, and the sound of skin slapping against skin. What the Fuck!

I threw open the door and was utterly dumbfounded by what I saw.

Carlisle was behind his desk staring intently at his computer screen. Was he watching porn? Why? Was I not doing it for him? I had no problem with watching porn but why did he hide it from me? He told me about his "research" in Alaska so why not tell me about this? I was so confused. He hadn't noticed me there yet meaning he must have really been lost in what he was seeing.

"Carlisle?" His head shot up so fast it's a good thing we can't get whip lash.

"Jasper, Hi! You're back sooner then I thought." He looked panicked.

"Obviously. What's going on?" I was trying my best to stay calm hoping he would just explain.

"Well shit. Umm," he ran his hand through his hair, "I was, umm, doing some more research." My brows pulled together. What the hell was there that he needed to research.

"Oh, I thought you did that in Alaska?" I was sounding more accusatory then I should have. It really wasn't that big of a deal but for some reason it set me on edge.

"Well I did to an extent." He offered in explanation.

"What does that mean Car?" I was getting frustrated and just wanted a straight answer.

"Well this is embarrassing. But I only, umm, researched like basic stuff. I only watched a few clips on you know like, umm, blow jobs and some finger fucking and stuff. But when it comes to the actual act of male on male intercourse I am lost." He took a deep shaky breath before continuing. "I mean I know the mechanics of it, but I wanted to make sure the first time was good for you so I decided to look at a few full on sex scenes." That made sense I guess. But why wouldn't he just ask me?

"Why didn't you just ask me? Talk to me about it, I thought we were past hiding things? You are also assuming that I am going to bottom with out even discussing it with me?" That was another thing that annoyed me was that he already was planning on topping with out even talking to me about it first. I know I already said that I would bottom for him gladly but I would have appreciated it if he would have consulted me before assuming.

"Jasper I thought we did discuss this. I told you I am the leader and head of this family, coven, and relationship. While I agreed to relinquish control on occasion I thought it was safe to assume that for the most part I would be taking the role of top." Well we had discussed that a bit I thought it was more of what our roles would be publicly. I didn't assume that our private and public life were mutually inclusive. Wait did he just say leader in this relationship! I thought this was a partnership.

"I thought we were equals in the relationship! I agreed to give you control to an extent, yes. But that doesn't mean that you can just make a huge decision like this with out talking to me." I plopped down on the couch. I was hurt more then angry. The idea that he didn't think we both had a say in this was like déjà vu.

"We are equals. I am sorry if I made it seem that we weren't. I honestly thought that when we talked about this on our date you would know that it would also include our physical relationship." He came over and knelt in front of me.

"Carlisle, I would never assume anything like that, and I would appreciate if you wouldn't either. I understand that as leader and head of this family you have final say in things, but that does not roll over into our relationship. When you do that it makes me feel like when I was with James, like you just want to exert your control and don't care about my feelings on the subject. If that is what you want then this will not work!" I was up and pacing the office. I didn't want to leave but I refused to let someone walk all over me again. He is my mate not my fucking master and commander!

"Please Jasper, don't say that! We can work this out. Please sit we will talk about this. You're right I should not have jumped to conclusions. Please just don't leave me." He was pleading. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm down then went to sit back on the couch.

"I am not leaving Carlisle. I just wish you would talk to me. I thought in the last week we had made some progress on opening up with each other. I know I shouldn't be freaking out about this especially because I did already come to terms with bottoming for you, but the idea that you would just expect it with out consulting me hurts." He looked down at the floor and I could feel the shame rolling off him.

"I know you're right. It's just that Esme told me that she wished I was more aggressive and would just take more control, and now you are telling me you want to talk about everything. I just get so confused trying not to make the same mistakes I made with her and pushing you away. I'm trying to find the balance between being the leader and the lover and it's been….difficult." Well when he explains it that way I guess I can see his point. He is still learning and new at this, and for all his wisdom and knowledge he is still insecure about failing in his first relationship. Now I kind of feel like a jack ass.

I pulled him off the floor and onto the couch and climbed into his lap silently giving him the dominate position hoping it would make him more comfortable.

"Carlisle, you have to realize that you and Esme failed not because you weren't giving her what she needed, but because you were never meant to be. You were not mates," I ran my hands through his hair, "this might sound cruel, but no matter what you did at some point your marriage was going to fail. But us," I waved my hands between the two of us, "we are it, the real deal, mates for eternity. I am not going anywhere. But that doesn't mean that your actions won't hurt me. We need to have open communication if we are going to continue to build the trust." ." He nuzzled into my neck breathing in my scent calming his nerves. I sent out some extra love and calm to him also.

"I know we were never meant to be now, but that doesn't instantly erase years of hearing you're failing as a husband and lover. I am sorry I hurt you, I truly am, and that was never my intention. I just wanted to make sure that I was prepared for when we did take the next step. I wanted to make sure that if you allowed me to top I wouldn't hurt you. Hurting you would literally kill me. But I should have just asked you about it instead of sneaking around and watching porn behind your back." He kissed my neck and I leaned into him more.

"Sweets, it's not even that you were watching porn. I admit that for a minute I felt a bit insecure wondering if you were bored with me already," he opened his mouth to interrupt me but I covered it with my hand to stop him earning me a warning growl, ok so maybe that wasn't very bright of me. I removed my hand but continued before he could argue with me, "but I realized I was being silly and started to think that the idea of watching porn with you would be pretty hot. Then you opened your mouth and that flew out the window real fast." he chuckled at that.

"So let's discuss this whole, what did Emmett call it? Oh, yes, pitch and catch thing." I erupted in laughter at that, that is exactly what Emmett told him and I remember him being utterly confused at the analogy at first. Oh how far we have come.

"Well as I told you I had already decided that I trusted you enough to be able to give that to you freely, and I meant it. The idea of you filling me completely is very appealing." I wiggled a little in his lap as his chest rumbled with a light purring noise that I loved.

"The idea of being inside you does things to me that you can't even imagine. I am going to have to prepare myself for it though because I don't want to lose control of the monster inside and hurt you. Right now everything is too raw and intense. We need to wait a bit until I am more stable. I am just finding my footing again in my leadership roles and not having the whole family here is setting me on edge." I nodded understanding what he was talking about.

He felt a special bond with everyone in the family. Mostly because he sired them all, aside from me and Alice. When you share venom it connects you to the other person in a bond almost stronger than normal familial relationships. He probably didn't notice their absence so much early on because he was dealing with his own heartache but now that he was healing not having his 'children' with him was causing him a certain amount of distress. They were all apart of him.

Which brought up the question would he ever be completely whole with out Esme being here? Yes they were not mates, but he did create her, part of him flows through her body. The bond will lessen over time. But because he has spent so many years being so close with all of them I am not sure how long it will take to weaken.

"I understand baby, I really do. We can wait until you feel comfortable. I just hope that at some point you are ok with switching roles on occasion and giving me my chance to have my cock buried deep in your sweet ass!" I ground my ass into his growing erection and smirked evilly at him.

"Maybe we could forgo the movie. After all we only have so much more alone time before the family joins us again." I swiped my tongue out and licked the outside of his lips causing him to gasp.

"I knew you were a Major for a reason, that is a brilliant plan!" He crashed his lips into mine thrusting his tongue into my mouth exploring the cavern. He licked the roof of my mouth and I couldn't help the moan the escaped my throat.

"Why don't you show me a little bit more about what you learned in your research efforts." I winked at him and before I even realized what happened I was naked on the couch watching him slowly remove his own clothing. With every piece he lost it was like the unveiling of a master piece. Hard and chiseled, perfectly sculpted every inch of him.

Once he was naked he moved to lay over me lowering him hips to mine causing his steel shaft to graze mine.

"Good God…you feel fucking fantastic!" I loved his weight on me. I rolled my hips up longing for some more relief from my painfully hard erection. Thankfully he didn't stop me and in fact started moving in tandem with me.

"I love feeling your cock against mine." he breathed out. This was raw passion. This was the make up well not sex, but dry humping to be sure, and fucking loved it.

His mouth attached to my neck at his favorite spot, where my shoulder and neck met, sucking and licking. I moved my hands over his back down to his tight ass pushing his hips harder into me.

"I love you so much. Do you forgive me for being an ass?" He panted out thrusting harder.

"Fuck…yes of course." The fire was slowly building in my belly as moved with each other. Hands roaming over tight planes and muscles. Tongues licking and sucking on each others most erogenous zones, as the fire raged on.

"Shit, I will never get tired of you writhing under me. That's the….fuck…hottest thing I have ever seen." I looked into his eyes and saw the fire behind them. It was different then before and I knew he was fighting to keep the animal at bay. The one that was screaming at him to take me and mark me.

I reached up and ran my hand over his cheek holding it there.

"Don't lose yourself baby. The time will come for you to mark me, and me you, but you and I know now isn't that time." He blinked a few times and I saw his eyes clear and smiled up at him. He hid his face in my neck and sped up his thrusts. God that felt good.

"Jazz, so close…." His movements were becoming erratic and had me right on the edge with him.

"Me too baby, so close….Christ…just let go." With a few more thrusts he let out a roar as he convulsed over me.

"CHRISTTTT!" His release spurred mine on and I came hard all over my stomach.

"FUCK!" I screamed out shaking with the strength of my orgasm. Carlisle collapsed on top of me my hand never stopping its movements up and down his toned back.

We laid in each others arms reveling in the connection and after glow of make-up 'sex', before we made our way to shower and clean up. The shower was kept PG for once which was ok with me because I was spent emotionally and physically.

We were just settling in for the night with a movie when my phone rang. I looked and saw it was Alice and smiled. I really had missed her.

"Oh Jasper it's horrible!" She shouted before I could even say hello. What was she talking about?

"Alice calm down. What's horrible?" I asked her getting a concerned look from Carlisle.

__

"I saw him!"

"Alice, who did you see? You need to calm down and tell me what's going on." I was getting a little frantic.

__

"I saw my mate Jasper."

"Alice I am failing to see the issue here." I told her truthfully.

__

"The issue is, is that he had RED EYES!"

Oh shit! That was a problem. Ok I always thought that would be a good thing. Was he ugly? Is that why she was upset? Carlisle was rubbing my back and shoulders soothingly.She was basically sobbing now. Saw who? Who hurt her? I would kill them!

* * *

**A/N: There you have it! Hope you liked all the lovin and yes Jasper and Carlisle are still finding their way in the relationship. More about Jaspers and why he felt like Carlisle was pulling a James on her will be in next chapter when they hash out more stuff, and are you all excited to see who Alice's mate is? Place your bets!**

**Reviews equal love and teaser! Please show the love!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Sorry I missed last week all! I had a crazy week and it was my weekend rotation at work so didn't have time to focus on this and I wanted what happened in this chapter to be perfect! I apologize for that! But I hope it was worth the wait. **

**As always thank you to my beta Jaspered01 she as a newer Carlisle/Jasper story that is hot! LOL very dominate Jasper and sweet innocent Carlisle. **

**Again this story is a slash story and there are lemons in this chapter just a heads up if you don't like it skip it!**

**CPOV**:

Ok so maybe watching porn while Jasper hunted wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done. But honestly while I know the mechanics of the whole anal sex thing I also knew there was much more involved in it to make your partner feel safe and comfortable. I didn't want to go into this flying blind. One thing I did notice about the porn I saw though was that there seemed to be a lack of passion in the act, it was just one guy pounding almost mercilessly into another.

One thing that looked interesting that each party seemed to enjoy was something called 'rimming'. I would never have thought of something like that but I was intrigued. To be able to taste Jasper in his most intimate areas sent a thrill through me. I can't imagine as a human it would be very appealing, taste wise, but as a vampire and not having actually used that certain area for its intended purpose in several hundred years, I imagine it wouldn't be so bad. I would have to talk to him about it I don't want to get in anymore trouble then I already am in though.

Not only did I get caught watching porn but I royally fucked up by assuming that I would be the 'top', as I have learned it's called, with out talking to Jasper first. I can't seem to stop screwing up. Assuming that just because I told him I still had the need to be the leader in the family, it would automatically transfer to our relationship, was a really dumb move on my part.

I really never wanted to see that look on his face again. It was so hurt and defeated and almost fearful. I hated it. When he told me I reminded him of James it almost made me sick. I never wanted to be compared to that monster. I knew he told me about most of his history with the man but apparently there were still a few things we needed to discuss.

The whole dynamic of his relationship with James was still something I had yet to grasp and I wasn't sure I really wanted to. But I also knew that if I was going to continue to have his trust in the area of physical intimacy I was going to have to figure it out and not do the same things James did.

Everything we did called out to my inner monster, taunting me to claim what was finally mine, but I knew I had to refrain for the time being. I almost lost it when we were together on the couch but as usual my beautiful soldier was able to bring me back from my darkness. If the urge to mark him as mine was so strong with out even actually making love, I can't begin to fathom the what it will feel like to finally be wrapped inside his tight warmth.

I cherished the time we were able to spend surrounded in each others embrace. I did want to have him as an equal partner in some aspects. But I am really having a problem balancing out my need to be in control with my need to make sure he is comfortable. Esme always said I wasn't aggressive enough for her liking, but come to find out she was into some really weird stuff, stuff that went beyond having a dominate mate. How do you find that balance? Damn this shit was hard.

I didn't want our little bubble to burst but we were sticky and in dire need of a shower after our romp on the couch. While showering we never went beyond gentile caresses and washing each other. It was what we needed after the amazing make-up session. While I knew things were still not perfect, at least we were able to fight and then talk and not have one stomping away like a petulant child, like someone else who shall remain anonymous.

We were just settling into Jaspers bed for the night. I enjoyed pretending like we were a normal couple that actually went to bed. We had just started in on a movie when his phone rang. Alice was calling and she did not seem to be doing well. I was immediately on the defensive while listening into their conversation.

"_Oh Jasper it's horrible!" _She shouted before he could even say hello. What was she talking about? Something really had her freaked out. What was going on?

"Alice calm down. What's horrible?" He asked her as I shot him a concerned look.

"_I saw him!" _She was basically sobbing now. Saw who? Who hurt her? I would kill them! I could tell my thoughts mirrored Jaspers. Out of all of us Alice looked the most like the teenager she portrayed, probably because she was one. If I had to guess I would say she was probably only 15 or 16 when turned. Entirely too young in my opinion, but this fact brought out all of our protective instincts more.

"Alice, who did you see? You need to calm down and tell me what's going on." Jasper was starting to sound just as panicked as her.

"_I saw my mate Jasper." _I am still failing to see why this is horrible but Jasper is tense and confused so I try to comfort him by rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"Alice I am failing to see the issue here." Always so blunt.

"_The issue is, is that he had RED EYES!" _That is a problem. I waited for Jasper to reply but that didn't seem to be happening so I motion for Jasper to give me the phone since he apparently had been stunned speechless. I snatch the phone from his hands as he just blinks.

"Alice,"

"_Oh, Carlisle what am I going to do, I can't eat people!" _I blow out a breath and try to think quickly.

"Honey, you don't have to eat anyone. We will figure this out, I promise. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." I try to reassure her. But her voice only seems to rise another octave.

"_What if he won't want me unless I take that lifestyle? Why can't I see more? I am so scared and confused. All I can see is his eyes staring at me." _She is sobbing again.

"Alice maybe you can't see more because you haven't accepted him as your mate so your future doesn't go beyond meeting him yet. Maybe he will take on our lifestyle. Maybe he doesn't even know that animals are another option like Jasper before he came to us." I try again in my most soothing voice, "But I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."

"_That could be. I just can't seem to push past the eyes though. How am I suppose to decide something with out having more details?" _Ah, welcome to the real world baby girl.

"Alice, that is something we all have to contend with everyday. We will just have to wait it out and see what happens. You don't have to know everything right now. Sometimes the mystery is half the fun." I know this has to be hard for her to deal with. She has never had to go into something so blindly. But I have always thought she relied too heavily on her gift.

"_You're right Car, as always. I guess I will just have to accept that for right now I won't know everything." _She huffed on the other end and Jasper chuckled finally snapping out of his stunned silence.

"That pisses you off doesn't it princess!" I can't help but laugh at her as she groans in frustration again, "Don't worry. You will be here in two days and as long as we are all together we can face whatever comes at us." I believe that with all my heart. As long as my family and Jasper are by my side we will come out on top or all dye trying.

"_You're right of course, that's why you're the boss! Well I am going to go finish up some last minute packing see you in two days. Have fun boys." _She cackles, actually cackles, as she hangs up. That girls moods change faster then the tides.

"So what are you thinking?" I ask Jasper who is still sitting in the same position he was when he answered the phone.

"I am worried. What if he won't change for her? What if he tries to take her away from us? She's still so young in so many ways. She has no experience with love and men." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"You know as well as I, that if he is her mate, he will not be able to hurt her. He will only ever want her happy. It's ingrained in us to give our mate what they want." I start rubbing his back again hoping to get him to relax.

"Yes it's with in us to give our mate what they want, and that goes both ways. What if he doesn't WANT to stay or change?" I pause in my ministrations and drop my face to my hands.

"I meant what I said Jasper, I will not let anyone hurt my family. If it means we have to fight for what we know Alice wants, even if it means we have to fight her to remember what she stands for, we will do it. I won't let someone, mate or not, try and change who she is." I really hope it doesn't come to that. Jasper just looks at me for a moment almost searching for something in my eyes before he nods and lays back in the bed looking at the forgotten movie.

I slid in next to him and pull him to my chest. I know he is more worried about this then he is letting on. I can feel the tension in his muscles. I really don't want to broach the James subject right now and thankfully he saves me from having to.

"So what was the porn you were actually watching when I came in?" I can feel his sly smile on my chest. Damn it this is embarrassing.

"Shit, Ok let me explain first, Emmett apparently thought I would need some help in this area so before he left he gave me some tools to help out, the porn being one of them." I was stalling and he knew it.

"Car, baby, it's not a big deal please just tell me." He pouts in the most adorable fashion that if he were to ask me to slaughter half the city I probably would have complied just to keep him happy.

"It was called _Harry Twatter and the Sorcerers Bone_." If I were human I would be redder then Bella! It was a few seconds before I felt the whole bed shaking with Jaspers laughter as he tried to hold it in, and I honestly can't help but join. It is pretty fucking funny! Only Emmett would get me Harry Potter Porn!

"Please tell me you aren't serious? Is that the only one you watched?" He was looking up at me now with amusement in his eyes.

"No, I also checked out a few websites. But honestly they were less then helpful." I pulled my brows together in frustration. He reached his hand up to smooth out my creased brow now looking thoughtful.

"Car, you know that you can talk to me about anything right? I know we still have something's to work out and I don't expect everything to be resolved in one conversation or over night, and I do accept that you are the head of this family and by extension this relationship," I was about to interrupt him but he covered my mouth with his hand, again, that shit was annoying and I growled to let him know, "stop it, it's rude to interrupt." I guess he has a point there.

"You're right I am sorry please continue." He nodded.

"Thank you. As I was saying, head of relationship, blah, blah, but that doesn't mean that I don't want you to talk to me about stuff. I know you are inexperienced in this area and it's making you insecure a bit, and that doesn't make you less of a mate. We can learn together because honestly the whole making love and intimacy thing is new to me also." I know I said that I really didn't want to have this conversation right now but it seems to be leaning that way anyway so might as well just get it over with.

"Speaking of this being new to you also. You made a comment when we were having our little argument and I want to know what you meant by it?" He stiffens in my arms and I am sure he knows which comment I am talking about.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He tries to deflect and play the ignorance card.

"Jasper I know damn well you know what I am talking about. But I will humor you. I am talking about your comment about James and just exerting control. I know we talked about it a bit when you told me about your past with him. But I think there is more there that you either don't want to tell me or don't realize." He sighs and buries his face into my chest. I wasn't sure he was going to answer me until he took a deep breath and looked up at me. The anguish in his eyes broke my heart and I was tempted to tell him he didn't have to tell me anything he didn't want. But if we were going to keep moving forward we had to get all our shit out there.

"I told you that with James it was a constant fight for dominance but it was more then that. We were never 'intimate' in the sense of wooing and what not. It was always about fucking and it wasn't always very pleasant. It was always about his pleasure and control over every situation. I wouldn't call it rape because I could have left at any point and I still don't know why I didn't…" He trails off at that and looks perplexed. I run my hands up and down his biceps squeezing him in comfort.

"Baby, it's ok. I will never hurt you like that. I only want to love you and cherish you the way you should be. I will spend the rest of eternity making everything you went through just a distant memory. Please believe me." I was imploring him almost begging him to understand that while James and I were both very dominate there was a difference. I would never fight him to get pleasure. I would spend however long God decides to give us life showing him the difference between love and lust.

"I do believe you. It's just hard not to draw the parallel when you get all 'I am man hear me roar' but then all I have to do is look in your eyes and see the love and know that you aren't him and that I don't need to fight you. I surrender freely to you." I was overcome with the weight of his words and what I knew it took him to say them. For Jasper, who had fought so long, to give up his control to someone was the greatest gift he could bestow. I would never take that for granted again.

I crashed my lips to his with the passion that I was suddenly almost drowning in. I couldn't get enough of him.

"Car, sweets, I want you." I froze instantly. Were we ready for that? Was I ready for that? I was nervous and the fear of the caged monster coming out again was very real.

"Jasper, I…." He stopped me with his mouth on mine.

"Carlisle, I don't want to wait to be yours anymore. We only have about a day and a half before the others are here and who knows what drama is coming our way. Please I need you to claim me to show me that nothing is going to come between us." He was pleading and I could not deny him. He needed reassurance that we were in this together, that I was willing to prove that he was mine.

I closed my eyes and tried to put extra bars on the cage that housed my inner animal there would be a time for him to come out and play but now was not that time.

When I opened my eyes I felt the air rush out of me at the amount of emotions Jasper was throwing at me. Love, lust, desperation, fear, acceptance,determination, and submission. That last one clinched it for me and I instantly flipped him so I was hovering over him. I needed this too.

I held myself over him with my hands on each side of his head just drinking in the shear beauty that is my Jasper. I lowered my body so my chest was flush with his and brought my hand up to push a few curls that had fallen in his eyes away. I didn't want anything obstructing my view of his intense gaze.

"You are so stunning, everything about you. Your eyes," I leaned in and kissed each brow, "your nose," I moved and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose and moved down lightly skimming his lips but not using any pressure, "even your ears." I flicked my tongue out and traced the shell of his ear with it causing him to moan in pleasure.

"Oh God, Car….Please…" He was writhing under me and I haven't even gotten started yet. I smirked to myself. I loved having this effect on him. He was so responsive, Esme was never vocal, I will not think about her during this. I chastise myself and banish all further thoughts of my ex-wife from my mind and focus solely on my beautiful and willing mate.

I continued to lavish light kisses on all the exposed skin I could find but it wasn't enough, not nearly enough. He needed to be rid of all barriers and now! I moved down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head as he did the same for me. Once we were chest to chest, skin to skin, again I sighed in contentment. He moved his hand to my pants but I swatted him away chuckling.

"Patience beautiful. We aren't going to rush this. I want to savor every moment of me claiming you." I moved my lips to the juncture of his neck where I sucked and nipped loving the taste of his skin on my tongue. I moved to his defined chest knowing I would get some delicious noises out of him here, my boy was so sensitive there.

I licked across his left nipple then blew my cool breath across it watching it pebble and him come undone a little more. I loved this mans chest. Smooth and glistening with the scars of his past. I took my time tracing over the marks that made him who he was today. If I had it my way the only other mark that would ever mar his perfect body would be mine.

"Christ Almighty…." He gripped onto the sheets as I moved and did the same with the other nipple. I continued my rapt attention on his most sensitive areas. Moving down I dipped my tongue into his belly button.

"Hmmm, I will never get enough of your taste!" I informed him as I reached the waist band of his pajama pants. I looked up at his black eyes and gave him my most wicked smile and yanked the offending object away from his body causing him to laugh as his gloriously hard cock landed with an audible smack against his stomach.

"I thought you wanted to go slow?" He questioned.

"I do, but for some reason I couldn't get you naked fast enough." I leaned down and buried my face in the soft curls at the top of his pelvic bone and inhaled deeply. The way his hard lean body responded to me urged me on. God he was better then the best drug out there. My tongue shot out and ran up and over the defined 'V' tracing the taunt muscles moving further away from his aching cock. He twitched and writhed under me, the amount of lust in the room was mounting.

"Car, please….I need…." He was breathless. He was shaking with his need for a release but my animal screamed out to prolong this, to savor it. For once I was obliged to listen.

"What do you need baby?" I feigned innocence. My monster was pacing in the cage waiting for his moment.

"You, only you please take me." I traced my way back down the 'V' when I reached his cock again I took him in my hand and ran my hand over the rosy tip collecting the pre-cum there with my thumb.

He was watching me with hooded eyes as my tongue darted out to collect the white substance on my hand. I closed my eyes and relished the flavor again. I heard him gasp then groan as I continued to lick the elixir from my hand.

"Mmmm, so good." I moaned.

"Fuck that's hot!" He growled out. Wanting more I wasted no more time in closing my lips around his throbbing steel shaft. I traced the thick vain on the underside of his cock with my tongue as he whimpered under my attention.

"Ahhhh, DAMN!" He arched violently off the bed thrusting his hips into my mouth. I let him continue to thrust into my mouth relaxing my throat to take more of him. I wanted to give him some semblance of control since he was willingly submitting to me. I hollowed my cheeks a bit to create a stronger suction and hummed around his dick.

After a few more minutes of him fucking my mouth I put my hands on his hips to stop him and released his weeping cock from my mouth causing him to hiss from the lack of release. He looked at me incredulously and I had to chuckle he was just too adorable when he didn't get his way.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you wanting." With out giving him time to respond I moved down and took his balls in my mouth rolling them around and tugging gently. I moved my mouth down further and pressed my tongue into his perineum. His hands flew to my hair tugging gently.

"Shit, baby so good." He was still too coherent for my liking I wanted him lost in so much pleasure that he couldn't form words. I decided to try what I had seen early to see how he would reacted.

"Beautiful, I want to try something. If you don't like it tell me and I will stop." He just looked at me confused but nodded anyway. With his acquiescence I dove back in wasting no time. I started where his balls met his perineum and licked my way down slowly just lightly grazing over his puckered hole.

"Christ on a cracker, no one has ever done that to me before, do it again!" He screamed out as I did it again and I grinned to myself. It was an awkward position to try and get good access so I moved his legs so they were over my shoulder opening him up to me as my arms wrapped around his thighs.

"I am happy to oblige you love." I rolled my tongue around his tight hole again and relished in the noises he was making. His moans and thrashing spurred me on and I stepped up my efforts. I loved seeing him come undone before me. My monster enjoyed it too. I felt my eyes roll back as I lapped up the amazing taste of pure concentrated Jasper.

"OH MY GOD!" He yelled out as I continued to circle the hole occasionally making my way back down to put pressure on his perineum.

"No God here baby, how about you tell me who is making you feel this good?" I tease and for the first time thrust my tongue into the tight ring of muscles. I could feel his muscles contract around my tongue and hummed in anticipation of what it would be like when my cock was breaking through that tight ring to his hidden depths.

"FUCK….You….Car….only…ahhhh…..you." His head was thrashing back and forth. I guess he liked this. I pushed my tongue a bit deeper causing him to squirm a bit more but not able to move too much with me holding him still. I continued to tongue fuck him while adding a finger then two simultaneously causing more friction and stretching him for me. Watching him lose himself was the best fucking thing ever. I almost completely forgot about my own painfully hard cock.

"Ugh…..baby more…..deeper please…need," I knew what he needed and while I was enjoying having my mouth on him I was more then ready to feel him wrapped around my throbbing shaft.

I pulled away from him and let his legs fall to the side I place a small kiss on the tip of his cock and trailed kisses up his body until I could feel his panting breath fanning my face.

"I love you." I whispered and plunged my tongue into his mouth. I reached over to the nightstand knowing that's where he kept the provisions. I popped the top on the lube and rubbed it on my fingers. Once they were slick I moved them down and over his crack slipping one finger in then working my way up to two then finally a third. Thrusting them in and out then switching it up and using a scissoring motion. My mouth never leaving his as we continued to explore and taste.

His hands roamed over my shoulders and back until he reached my ass squeezing it and pulling me forcefully against him causing my cock to rub against his. He wrenched his mouth away from mine.

"Fuck, I love you too, but I need you in me NOW!" Our need for each other, to be one, to finally claim each other in everyway was reaching a breaking point. I removed my fingers from him and he whimpered at the loss.

I grabbed the lube and poured some in my hand and moved to kneel between his legs. I looked down at him in the fading light of the day and was struck by how amazing he looked. The light danced off his scars giving him an otherworldly glow. He truly looked like a God. Grabbing my cock in my hand I pumped myself a few times making sure I spread the lube liberally over my now excruciatingly hard erection before shifting his hips up and placing my rock hard shaft at his entrance.

"Are you sure?" I had to make sure he wasn't just doing this to make me happy. I had to know that he really wanted this. Once I started there would be no way to stop, once the last few bars on the beasts cage were dissolved we would have reached the point of no return. He leaned up and took my face in his hands pulling me into a searing kiss of tongues and teeth. He poured all his emotions into that kiss and I was so overcome I almost lost it. He pulled away and gazed into my coal black eyes.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my existence." He claimed my lips again pulling me flush against him pressing his hips into me a bit so the very tip of my cock started to penetrate his granite flesh

"Oh fuck…" Shit I felt a few more of the bars of the cage my animal was housed in start to disintegrate it wouldn't be long until he was in complete control.

"We are ready Carlisle, I'm ready, let go." He shifted again so the head of my cock was now sheathed inside his body and God Damn did it feel amazing. So fucking tight.

"If I hurt you tell me please." I pleaded one last time with him giving him one last chance to change his mind, it would kill me to hurt him. I waited for his nod of acknowledgement before I slowly pulled out and pushed back in going a little deeper this time. I could feel him stretching to accommodate my girth. I don't want to brag but I'm not small.

I pulled out again and pushed further with a bit more force keeping up the cadence until I was fully encased in his tight cavity.

"AHHH…Oh my….fuck baby….ugh….I knew you were big but SHIT!" I looked up at him concerned it was too much.

"Are you ok?" I strangled out about ready to totally lose it. His face was screwed up in a mix of pleasure and pain and I went to pull out only to have his legs wrap around me keeping me in place.

"Yes…just…ahhh….give me a minute." He was panting trying to regulate his breathing.

The feeling of his muscles contracting around me and squeezing my shaft was almost too much and I buried my face into his neck using every ounce of restraint I had not to pound into him mercilessly and giving him the time he needed. I breathed in his scent using it to calm the beast if only for a moment.

Finally when I thought I couldn't take it anymore as a few more of the bars on the cage came down he shifted his hips testing his pain level.

"I'm ok just please go slow. It's been a long, long time." I nodded not able to find my voice at the moment as I started to roll my hips gently pulling out then slowly pushing back in. Trying to keep my movement fluent and even. I was amazed that he felt warm around me the friction of our skin rubbing together creating a most fantastic heat.

"Oh God, beautiful, you feel so good around my cock." I panted out. This was the best feeling in the world. If I could live encompassed in Jasper I swear I would. I slowly started to pick up speed pulling out, pushing in, and rolling my hips trying to find that sweet spot deep inside him. I knew the moment I found it.

"OH SHIT….RIGHT THERE…!" He screamed out as his chest arched into me with the force of the pleasure he was feeling.

"Ugh….sweet spot?" I asked him rhetorically.

"Please baby, more, I'm ok you can move…..shit…faster." He started meeting my thrusts as we picked up the pace. At that moment, when I knew he was no longer in pain, the last of the cage surrounding the monster fell apart and I thrust with abandon. The fire that I normally felt in my stomach was quickly spreading into an intense inferno as the beast took over.

"Car, it's ok….so good…let go…just feel…let him go." I knew what he was talking about he was giving me permission to unleash the monster and all control I had slipped away. I pulled out of him and flipped him so he was on his stomach. I pulled his hips up and left his chest flat on the bed giving me the most amazing view of his perfect ass. Not wasting anymore time I slammed back into his exposed hole causing him to cry out in a mix of surprise and pleasure.

"FUCK…baby…so tight…warm…" I was lost in the sensations as I started to pound harder and faster prodded on by the groans and moans of my lover in front of me. This new angle made him tighter and caused me to hit the magic spot inside him with every thrust. I was awash in the sensations I was feeling.

"You feel so….amazing, shit….fuck….harder baby….faster." He called out his voice muffled by the bed as he pushed his ass back into my hips meeting me thrust for thrust. For the longest time there was no noise but the sound of my balls slapping against him and our moans and hisses of ecstasy.

I was quickly approaching my orgasm and wanted to fall over the edge with Jasper. I reached around the front of Jasper where his dripping cock was begging for attention and started pumping him in time with our thrusts.

"I fucking…ugh…. Love your tight ass. God so fucking hot." I ran my thumb over the slit of his cock and he jerk violently.

"GOD….DAMN. Car baby soo….ahhhh…close, please!" His head was thrashing back and forth and I leaned forward, grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up as gently as I could given the circumstance so he was flush with my chest. The hand that wasn't on his twitching cock wrapped around his chest in support of the new position. He was growling slightly and I could tell his own animal was right there as well screaming at him to mark me and claim me. I don't know what changed between yesterday and today when he pulled me back from the darkness but this time neither of us would be thwarted.

I continued to assault his body in the best way possible as the fire continued to spread through my body and intensified in my abdomen I knew I wasn't going to last much longer as the coil tightened further.

As my thrusts became frantic I could sense the beast roaring inside and as the coil snapped, so did I. My eyes glazed and my hands fisted into his hair tighter tilting his head to the side as I roared sinking my teeth into the sweet flesh of Jaspers neck. I pulsed inside him riding the high of the most intense climax ever. I shot my cold seed deep into him as my venom pumped through his system. The monster loving that part of my life essence was now inside it's mate.

"FUCK…!" I heard him cry out through my orgasm induced haze. Moments later his tight ass clenched around me as he came milking me and prolonging my own orgasm. I felt an intense burning in my neck and noticed he had turned his face into my neck pumping me with his own venom causing me to shudder as he milked my cock for every last drop.

I held tight to him as I slowly came back to earth. This recovery time was a lot longer then in previous encounters, probably because it was so intense. As the fog started to lift I started thinking clearer again and realized that I had in fact bitten Jasper.

"Shit Jasper baby," I started panicking as I pulled away to look at the now discolored flesh, "I am so sor," I was cut off when his mouth accosted mine I could taste myself, my venom, on his tongue and I realized he had also bitten me. That's what that searing, yet somehow erotic, pain was.

"Don't apologize for finally making me yours in everyway. I don't regret one second of that. Shit that was amazing." I hugged him to me still trying to catch his breath a bit.

"It was pretty fucking hot. Damn I didn't hurt you did I?" I was concerned as I looked at the fresh mark now marring his flesh. Now that the beast had been appeased I could think clearly again. He only chuckled in response and hissed when I shifted again to look at him. I suddenly remembered I was still connected to him and I was pretty sure he was feeling a little sensitive right now. I went to pull out but reached around behind me holding me in place.

"Not yet," he shook his head holding me in place like a life-line, "I don't want to lose you yet." I conceded not really wanting to remove myself from him either. We collapsed in bed and I rolled on my side pulling him with me keeping the connection though it was a bit awkward. I loved the being connected to him in every way. So we just laid there me holding him flush to my chest, slowly stroking over his chest and abdomen, enjoying the completeness we felt.

Jasper shifted against me and I felt myself start to respond again. I couldn't believe I could come back so quickly after such an intense climax but I was starting to realize with Jasper everything was unbelievable. I tried to pull out again but he once again stopped me.

"Jasper if I don't move I am going to have to take you again and I don't want to hurt you." I could see a small evil grin on his face as I peered over his shoulder and he thrust his hips back into me again. I moved my hand down his stomach and to his cock surprised to see it was hard again.

"And the problem with that would be what exactly?" His eyes twinkled as he rolled his hips, and OH MY GOD, it felt amazing on my sensitive cock.

"Fffuuckk….!" I groaned out and started rolling my hips to meet his. There was a distinct difference between this time and the last one. This was not just claiming my mate, this was cherishing and loving. We were making love. But I wanted to see him when he came this time so I pulled out before he cold stop me, much to his displeasure.

"Car, please I'm fine, what…." I cut him off as I moved over him and settled between his legs wasting no time in pushing back in. I kept my eyes locked on his.

"I want to see you when you come this time. You are so beautiful." I kissed my way around his jaw until I meet his lips and sucked his tongue into my mouth. We moved together languidly not rushing this time just basking in the completeness we felt with one another.

"I love you so much. Words and actions will never be able to convey the depth of my love for you." He whispered against my lips as his hands moved lovingly over my back and shoulders.

"You are my world. I never knew what real, true, honest love was until I opened my heart to you. I love you more then I knew I was capable of." I had a hard time grasping the depth of emotions his declaration ignited in me.

We continued to rock against each other for what felt like hours. Neither feeling the need to speed up, just basking in the slow build of pleasure. The connection said more then any words ever could. All too soon I felt the familiar tingle in my belly and needed more. Jasper must have been there also because he started thrusting and rolling his hips harder and faster.

"OH, damn baby harder, more….I need more…can't take it." I was panting again and pushed my face into his hair my arms wrapped around his shoulders anchoring myself to him as the sensations began to overwhelm me.

"AHHH, Car, almost there….love you….so good." I felt him thrust up a few more times before I was hit with the cool liquid of his cum on my stomach. I could feel him pulsing against me and as he clenched around me I came hard filling him with my chilled seed.

"SHIT….I love you too baby!" I tensed as my orgasm continued to roll over me. After a few minutes I crashed my lips to his and finally rolled off him pulling myself from him leaving myself feeling void and empty. He groaned and whimpered as I pulled out feeling the loss as acutely as I did.

We lay side by side facing each other panting and holding onto each other. I don't know how long we laid there lost in our own bubble and the magnitude of what we had just done. It could have been hours for all I knew when he finally broke the spell we had been trapped under.

"You are amazing. What did I ever do to deserve you?" He asked brushing some hair out of my face as I pulled him against my chest. We were sticky but completely content and I had no intention of moving in the near future. Sometimes I can't believe I was granted this amazing man in my arms. I felt like it was a dream.

"It's me who doesn't deserve you. You were so patient and caring. I can't imagine having to wait to be with you for 50 years. I know I would go crazy if I had to watch you with someone else. How you did it I will never know." He truly didn't give himself enough credit. I don't know many who would be able to sit by and watch as their mate was with someone else.

"Well it was a lot harder there in the end, well no that's not true, it was hardest when we first arrived and all I wanted you to do was acknowledge me as your true mate. It was only Alice and her visions that prevented me from doing something incredibly stupid, like kidnapping you." He chuckled at the thought of that and snuggled into my chest more.

"Did you actually consider doing that at one point?" I was insanely curious. He just shook his head in my chest but never looked up.

"Oh my God, you did! You so were going to kidnap me!" I pulled his face up to look at him only to find a very sheepish look on his face.

"Yeah well Alice in her infinite wisdom informed me that it wouldn't be well received so I didn't actually go through with the plan." He scowled. I had to know what this plan was.

"Ok so what was the plan? What would the outcome have been?" He just groaned and smashed his head into my chest. I ran my hand through his hair trying to relax him and coax it out of him. I really wanted to know and it's not like I would judge him. He sighed but didn't look up at me.

"It was about ten years after we got there. You and Esme had been going through a rough patch and you were unhappy. I knew that I could make you happy if I could just get you to give me a chance. I thought if I could get you alone for an extended period of time you would realize I was your true mate. Do you remember the day we went hunting together and Alice showed up?" He inquired.

I remember the time period he was talking about. Esme and I were fighting I thought she was just having issues with her immortality and that it would blow over. After a particularly nasty fight Jasper and I had decided to go hunting, all the others were away on their own little adventures for a few months. We hunted and were sitting around talking when suddenly Alice popped out of no where saying she was lonely and didn't want to hunt alone. I didn't find it odd at the time but I had actually been upset that she interrupted us. I wonder if I did recognize him as my mate but just never took the time to really go through all the little emotions and scenarios to realize it?

"I do remember yes, I was actually upset that she came along. Though at the time I had no idea why." I admitted.

"Yes well it's a good thing she did. I was planning on trying to over power you by throwing mass amounts of lethargy at you to knock you out and then take you away. Alice said that if I did that you would get away and then force us to leave the family because you weren't ready to acknowledge me as your mate at that point. But I was so close to doing it." He looked a bit ashamed and I felt so bad that it did take me so long to come around especially now that I look back and see things from a different perspective.

"I am sorry. But I think maybe waiting was good for you also." He looked at me like I had grown three heads and I had to laugh.

"Please to explain." He asked.

"Well it took a long time to come to terms with your past do you think if we had gotten together back then you would have been willing to submit like you just did?" He looked thoughtful for a minute.

"You know I really never thought of that. I guess maybe that does make sense. Maybe we both weren't ready. Alice does really seem to know what she is doing." He wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled down into me.

"That she does love, that she does." We fell into a peaceful silence both lost in our thoughts. I played over the last 50 years, picking apart different scenarios and events. The more I looked back the more I realized I had kind of always loved Jasper but also realized I was not ready for what that entailed. Until now.

* * *

The next day and a half passed in a flurry of love making, caressing, and learning each other in ways I never thought possible. We had just gotten a text message from Alice informing us that the family was going to be here in about two hours. We finally moved to the shower to clean up the copious of cum that had been produced in the aftermath of hours of pleasure.

After we were showered and changed I changed the sheets on the bed and went down to toss some things in the laundry. I heard the engines just as Jasper was coming down the stairs looking fuck hot in his well worn jeans and black t-shirt. I wanted to take him back upstairs and claim him again and again but knew I couldn't as the cars got closer.

"Car, you need to pull that shit back I don't think the family wants to get a view of me having to attack you due to the mass amounts of lust you're throwing my way." He came over and wrapped me in a hug and we just held onto each other until we heard the cars turn down the drive way.

We made our way out to the porch and saw them pulling up. Emmet in the Jeep, followed by Rose in the M3, Alice in the Porsche, Bella in the Volvo , and Edward in the Vanquish. I had to smirk at Bella getting stuck in the Volvo she hated that fucking car. We all did, always made fun of him for it. Maybe we can convince him to get a car more inline with his age.

I was suddenly attack by a white ball of energy who was holding on to me so tight I am sure I would have had some cracked ribs if I wasn't made of stone. It took me a moment to notice she was sobbing into my chest and I held her tighter to me.

"Oh Ali, it will be ok. We will work it out." I cooed into her ear while rubbing soothing circles over her back. At this moment I felt every bit the father I had portrayed for decades. I would do anything to protect her, all of them.

"Dad, I don't know what's happening all I see is them coming and the red eyes that just keep staring at me. I am scared." She shook harder. I knew she was having trouble getting a lock on the future right now and that unnerved me as well. I stroked her hair and continued to whisper words of comfort to her.

"Baby girl, whatever comes we will meet it all together. Don't fret, I promise all will be alright." I told her with a confidence I was having a hard time actually finding.

She nodded and pulled away and smirked up at me. Oh shit here it comes.

"So did you boys have a good few weeks?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me and moved over to hug Jasper.

"Yes Alice it was very….educational." Jasper answered for me. Education indeed. I made my way down the porch to say hello to the rest of the family.

"Rose, I missed you princess." I pulled her into a hug and held on tight. I didn't understand how much I had missed having them all with me until now.

"I missed you too. Are you doing better? How are things with you and Jasper?" I knew everyone was going to want to know what had developed.

"Why don't we get everything unloaded and settled then meet in the family room for some catch up time." She nodded and went to the truck to start pulling stuff out. The majority of stuff would be arriving in the next few days from the movers but clothing and essentials were in the cars. I strolled over to Bella who was staring at the house with awe on her face.

"Bells, sweetheart you doing ok?" I embraced her in a gentle hug.

"Yeah, I'm good Carlisle. This place is just….wow." I loved the simplicity that was Bella. She didn't need fancy or fancy things to be happy. I chucked at her.

"Just wait until you see the kitchen. You should be able to get a few weeks use out of it." I think we were planning on waiting a few weeks until she was changed.

"Can't wait, maybe I can con Emmett into trying some food, watching him eat the peanut butter was hysterical." I busted out laughing at that. It was hilarious Emmett didn't know that peanut butter was sticky and it took him forever to get it off the roof of his mouth then even longer to try and bring it back up again.

"I would like to hope he learned his lesson the first time but this is Emmett so you never know." He would probably do it again if she gave him those puppy dog eyes. He was such a sucker.

"So, how are you doing? More specifically how are you and Jasper doing?" I put my arm around her shoulder as we went back inside. The rest of the guys unloading the cars still.

"We are doing very well. Of course it takes some adjusting and rethinking things I have spent so many years believing but we are getting there." She searched my face she was very insightful and good at reading people after a moment she just nodded and wrapped her arms around me again.

"I am glad. If anyone deserves to be loved it's you and Jasper. You both have been through so much." Just then there was a loud scream from behind us. I turned and saw Alice just coming out of a vision followed by an almighty roar from Edward.

"NO! That will not HAPPEN!" Edward yelled out in response to whatever he had just witnessed. Everyone was in the room in a flash as Edward pulled Bella from my grasp and into his chest.

"What is going on? What did you see Alice?" I asked moving over to Jasper pulling him to me needing the connection.

"Let's go and sit and I will explain what is going on and we can work out a way to prevent it." Once we were settled Emmett and Rose sitting in on the chaise lounge with Rose leaning into Emmett's chest. Bella and Edward on the loveseat Bella in his lap. Alice in the large plush chair bouncing nervously searching for future outcomes to whatever she had seen. Jasper and I on the couch with him tucked into my side.

"Alright, we have ten minutes until they get here. Once they get here we will have four days until the Volturi arrive. If Bella is still human at that time we will all die. Even if she is a vampire things are touch and go." Gasps were heard around the room. This is not good. But how the hell did they even find out about Bella in the first place? And who will be here in ten minutes? Edward at this point answered my unspoken questions.

"Two nomad vampires are coming to visit looking for a third from their coven that they have been tracking they follow his scent here where it ends in the woods and then follow the scent of three other vampires back here." Oh shit!

"OH SHIT! Victoria and Laurent!" Jasper came to the same conclusion as I did.

"Yes they are not going to be happy that you disposed of him, even though it was in self defense. They are going to smell and see Bella and inform the Volturi that we have broken the law hoping that they will come and exact the justice on you that they seek but can not hope to find fighting against all of us." Alice explained getting lost in another vision Edward keeping a steady stream of profanities mixed with growls.

"So just start the change on me today and when the Volturi get here they will have no cause to harm anyone because the situation will have been rectified." Something told me that it wasn't going to be as simple as all that. The Volturi weren't evil per-say but they were defiantly power hungry. They liked collecting vampires with talent and if we were being honest we had a lot of it in our family.

"It's not that simple. I wish it was. They are going to use this as a catalyst to try and recruit some of us, it also doesn't help that a certain vampire king hasn't gotten over his crush on a certain doctor!" Alice exclaimed.

"What are you talking about? That doesn't make any sense Ali." I was baffled.

"We don't have time to get into it right now they are coming. I will explain once they leave." Just as she said that there was a knock on the door.

"Keep Bella behind us and keep your mouths shut!" I ordered everyone. I was going to handle this. Fuckers think they can threaten my family.

"Car, I think since I know them it would be best if I greeted them." Jasper said quietly. It would be a good idea to let them not feel threatened right from the get go. I nodded at him and he went to open the door.

* * *

**A/N: Please review your reviews motivate me and let me know how I am doing! If you review you get a preview of the next chapter, so show the love people!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Ok I forget this every chapter so I am doing it now. I own nothing, not my house, not my car, and most certainly not Twilight, you all know whose they are! **

** Also as usual my Beta is the Best Jaspered01, couldn't do this with out her!**

**We are getting closer to finding Alice's mate! I'm excited aren't you? Well happy reading!**

_**JPOV:**_

Well this blew major monkey balls. I hated that what had happened between Carlisle and I was going to be tainted by all this drama. But it was unavoidable and I don't regret it one bit. I thought at first he was going to deny me my request for him to claim me but I knew it was something we both needed to do before we faced this new threat.

Let me tell you nothing would ever come close to how amazing it felt to have Carlisle inside me moving, loving me, hitting the incredible sweet spot, completing me. I think I moved to another plane of existence. I couldn't wait to do it again, and again, for the rest of eternity. And holy hell the things that man can do with his tongue, I never in a million years expected him to be comfortable with tongue fucking me, but thank God he was. That was an experience I would love to repeat sooner rather then later. I was going to have to think of a way to properly show my appreciation soon.

First we had to deal with these fuck faces. I was really not happy about having to see them again, and I knew it was not going to be pleasant. I was worried about my family, but more worried about my mate. I refused to do something that would put any of them in jeopardy.

I could tell Carlisle was not happy about me being the one to greet them. But with the way he was acting it would set them instantly on edge and I would like to avoid setting them off from the get go. I was surprised when he actually agreed to it.

I took a deep breath to steal myself, getting to the door right as they knocked. I opened it but not wide enough for them to see everyone. Obviously they knew that I was not here alone they would be able to smell everyone. I looked out and into the crimson eyes of my former companions and put a smile on my face that I hoped was non-confrontational.

"Laurent, Victoria, what brings you here?" I feign surprise hoping I pulled it off. The French accent gave me my answer.

"Jasper, my friend we are in the area and caught your scent thought we would stop in on an old friend." Lie. I could tell, empath remember!

"We have missed you Jasper, you were always a great companion." Victoria with her wild hair and feline features stared me down as she spoke

"Yes well, won't you come in and I will introduce you to the family." I didn't quite know how to respond to her. Laurent clapped his hands together and nodded.

"That would be most gracious thank you friend." I internally scoffed at the friend statement. They were no friends of mine. They had helped James track me, and tried to help keep me under his thumb with their own sick games. I wanted to get this over with and them out of my house and life as soon as possible.

I opened the door for them and they stepped through the threshold. I caught them both sniffing the air as they tensed out of the corner of my eye I noticed Edward drop into a defensive crouch and hiss.

"SHE. IS. NOT. A. PET!" He seethed out. I guess answering some internal thought one of them had had.

"Why do you have a human in you home? Maybe James rubbed off on you more then we knew!" Victoria hissed out and everyone in the room hissed and growled. Ok this was not going quite how I thought.

"Ok everyone calm down. Laurent, Victoria, Bella, the human as you say, is not a pet. She is Edwards mate and will be changed soon. So please watch what you say she is apart of this family equally." I informed them and everyone seemed to relax a bit.

"No blood, no foul, right Jasper. Just a misunderstanding. Please introduce us to the rest of your coven." Laurent was always the most sensible of the three of them. I nodded and moved further into the room. Emmett and Edward were standing in front of Bella creating a barrier. Rose and Alice were next to them and Carlisle was in front of the little wall they had made with there bodies.

"We are not a coven, we like to think of ourselves as a family. First the short bouncy on is Alice, next to her is Edward, behind him is Bella, next to him is Emmett, then Rosalie, Emmett's mate and next is Carlisle. The leader and father of them all." I finished pointing out each member.

"Father to all of them, but not to you?" Laurent was always very perceptive. He came off as a free love hippy but in reality he was cunning and ruthless. He could spot weakness a mile away. I wasn't sure I wanted them to be able to use Car against me but he took the option out of my hand by coming to stand next to me putting his arm around me possessively.

"No, not his father. His mate." Carlisle informed them. I noticed both Laurent and Victoria tense slightly. I knew they wanted to know what happened with James, he had always told them I was his mate, so how could I be with Carlisle when I was suppose to be with James. This was not going to turn out well.

"Maybe you girls should go finish unpacking from the trip, and I am sure that Bella wouldn't mind a nap after driving so long." Carlisle wanted her out of the way as soon as possible.

"That is a good idea," Edward agreed, "baby why don't you and the girls get the rooms settled while we get acquainted with our guests." He wasn't actually asking more like telling her and I was glad that she didn't argue for once. She just nodded and the girls made their way upstairs.

"How you all do it, she smells delectable?" Laurent's eyes closed as he took a deep breath in savoring her sweet scent causing Edward to growl again as he stalked forward. I stepped between him and the intruders to stop his advance.

_Edward, now is not the time for a fight, lets just get this over with and get them out._ I informed him in my mind and he stopped mid-stride thinking about it for a second before turning on his heel and heading into the living room.

"Let's go sit and we shall talk." Carlisle stiffly motioned to the living room and we all filed in.

"Please have a seat." I informed them as Carlisle and I took up residence in the love-seat. Emmett and Edward sat next to each other on the chase lounge and Victoria and Laurent went to the couch.

"If I may inquire about your diet. You do not have the red eyes? Why is that?" Carlisle had his hand possessively on my knee.

"We do not feed off humans, we choose instead to feed off the blood of animals." Carlisle told them simply.

"Fascinating," Laurent chuckled, Victoria just looked disgusted, "but why would you choose to do that?" He was in awe.

"We don't want to be monsters. By feeding off animals instead it allows us to stay in one place longer, actually build a life, and it also helps us hold on to more of our humanity." Victoria scoffed at this.

"Why would you want to maintain such a weak trait. Humanity is overrated and makes you vulnerable." I knew that neither of them valued human traits but it bothered me that they instantly judged us for our choices.

"Make no mistake we are not weak or vulnerable in anyway because we choose to keep some of our humanity. I think it makes us stronger and able to bond with our mates and each other on a deeper level. After all we fight against our very nature everyday to maintain who we are I don't find that weak in anyway." Carlisle informed them. He would never let anyone make him feel weak for his decision to deny our very nature.

"Of course, Victoria meant no disrespect to your lifestyle. We are just trying to understand." He squeezed Victoria's leg hard in warning, they had a very dominate submissive relationship, I was sure that if she kept running her mouth she would be paying for it later. It always made me a bit uncomfortable, but I am assuming that is why they and James all got on so well. They took our nature to the extreme, not that others didn't as well, but they were the antithesis of what I wanted in my relationship.

I see nothing wrong with a little bit of dominance but they are borderline abusive, just like James. No wait he wasn't borderline, he was, I was just able to fight back better then a normal female would have.

"I understand it is unconventional. But it does work for us. We also have to ask that while you are in the area you do not hunt. It draws too much attention and we hope to be here for several years to come. It's secluded enough to help us through Bella's new born years." I realized that through my inner musings they were still talking.

"Of course we wouldn't want to cause you any unnecessary problems. We don't plan on being in the area long." He gave me a pointed look as he said this. I wonder what that was about. I looked over at Edward to see if I could get a read on what he was hearing in their heads. He seemed to be concentrating very hard and just shook his head slightly at me.

The conversation continued. They asked more about our lifestyle, though I could tell they had no intention of adopting it, they asked about our family history, but mostly about how Carlisle and I came to be mated. I noticed Carlisle failed to omit that it had only been a few months since we had acknowledged the mating. Which was a smart move if you ask me, let them think we have been together for decades.

Finally after several hours of talking and catching up we came to the real reason they were here.

"So Jasper, we have been trying to find James again. He was suppose to meet us in Canada a few weeks ago, with you by his side. He said he finally had a bead on you and was going to be getting you back. He never showed so we went to where we last knew he was and tracked his scent here to the woods. Yet you are here and he is not, care to explain?" He was looking at me with malice in his eyes. I was sure they could probably still smell the fire that James had burned in weeks prior.

"Yes well he came," I started, but was interrupted by Carlisle. Why does he keep doing that? It's so damn rude not to mention annoying!

"I can answer this for you. I killed him." I turned my head slowly to look at him in disbelief. Way to be blunt about it. Suddenly all hell broke loose.

Victoria moved faster then I could anticipate and had me by the throat tossing me across the room to get access to Carlisle. I wasn't the one who just claimed to kill their coven mate why attack me. I stood up shook my head before snapping into defense and protect mode, or Major mode as Peter likes to call it.

Victoria is trying to pin Carlisle while Emmett and Edward are circling Laurent. They are not as experienced fighting but two on one shouldn't be a problem. I turn my focus back to my mate who is about one second away from having Victoria sink her teeth into his neck. I quickly rush them and grab her by the hair before she can get a hold.

"You will not touch him!" I screamed at her and slammed her into the floor boards. She was struggling against my hold and snapping at me, but had no hope of breaking free. While she maybe a more experienced fighter then Carlisle she most certainly had nothing on me.

"Victoria, ENOUGH!" Laurent commanded and she stopped flailing under me I did not, however, let her up. I was taking no chances.

"I suppose it doesn't matter to you that he was trying to rape me and Carlisle was merely protecting what is his!" I snarled in her face.

"You're right it matters not, he was our brother and he will be avenged." Laurent spoke for them.

"We are at an impasse then, but surely you know you have no hope of winning here. Six on two is hardly fair. We will let you go, but do not come back. I abhor violence but if you ever threaten my family again I will not hesitate to end you." Carlisle waved at Emmett and Edward to move aside and let Laurent pass as he put his hand on my shoulder telling me to let her up.

"We will take our leave, but know this, we will have our revenge one way or another." With that they flew out the back wall of windows shattering it in the process.

"Why the hell couldn't we just kill them and have done with it. Then there would be no threat of the Volturi and Bella could still have her few months before the change?" Emmett asked. He really wanted to just end them. But according to Alice things had to happen this way, even though she was being tight lipped about why.

"Because if we don't do it this way I will never get my mate." Alice said as her, Rose, and Bella came back to join us.

"So you had another vision?" She nodded but didn't say anything.

"Well are you going to tell us?" Carlisle asked her and she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Wasn't really planning on it. I don't want you all to freak out. But something's are going to happen that you aren't going to understand but you have to let them run their course." Could she be anymore cryptic. Edward snorted at that thought and nodded his head in agreement.

"Ok well, can you at least tell us exactly how long we have until we absolutely have to change Bella?" Carlisle asked her trying to pin down a time line. Her eyes went out of focus for a few minutes and I notice Edward get a sad look on his face.

I knew that he was having a hard time with Bella becoming like us. He knew that if he wanted to be with her forever that it had to be done but that didn't mean he relished the idea of ending her mortal life. None of us had chosen this life and really can't fathom why anyone would. But then again none of us had ever fallen in love with a human and had said human fall in love with us. So this is uncharted territory.

"We have about 12 hours. She will then have about 8 hours after she wakes up until they actually arrive I think we should spend it together." She looked a little sad but quickly shook it off.

"I think that's a good idea Alice, we do need to get Bella some food. It is after all her last meal." We all chuckled tensely at Carlisle's statement.

"Yeah, DEAD GIRL A'WALKIN'." Emmett bellowed and we all looked around at each other for a minute before we busted out laughing and shaking out heads at him.

"So darlin', what would you like for your last human meal?" I asked her. She put her finger to her chin tapping it in deep concentration.

"Wow, there are so many choices. I don't know if I can pick just one." She pouted a bit.

"Well, how about you get more then one thing and eat a bit of all of it." Edward suggested. He wanted her to have whatever she wanted in these last few hours.

"Oh, that's a good idea. How about I make a list then whoever is going to the store can just get it for me." She jumped up tripping lightly on the throw rug, blushing, and ran out of the room to get pen and paper, with all of us laughing behind her.

"Shut up ass holes! Soon I will be able to take you all!" She shouted at us from the kitchen causing us to laugh louder.

"Who is going to the store?" Rose asked.

"I will go, Car you want to come with me?" I kind of wanted to get out of the house for a bit.

"Sure, let me go get my shoes and we can go. You need me to grab yours also?" He asked pecking me on the lips. I just nodded as he left to get the items we needed so we could leave.

"Well while you are gone I think Rose and I are going to go christen the new bedroom!" Emmett tosses Rose over his shoulder before she has time to protest and they disappear.

Bella comes back in and hands me the list and I shove it in my pocket.

"I think I am going to go spend some time saying good bye to the warm squishy body before it turns to stone." He picks Bella up bridal style, much softer then Emmett did, winks at me and rushes up the stairs with Bella giggling the whole way. Carlisle comes back in shaking his head handing me my shoes.

"I take it you saw the others on the way down." He visibly cringed at that and I wondered what he actually saw.

"Yes, let's just say Emmett and Rose were having a hard time making it to the bedroom." Hhe shivered again and I had to laugh at him. "It's not funny you insufferable ass." This only caused me to laugh more. Before I knew what was happening I was pinned to the wall of the living room with Carlisle's mouth attacking mine.

"Alright enough you two, you need to hurry and get the stuff for Bella, no detours on the way. Do I make myself clear?" Alice came twirling into the room. We started to leave before we heard her speak again, "Oh and don't try and get away with the blowjob in the truck on the side of the road. A cop will pass and you will get arrested." I quirked an eyebrow at Carlisle and shook my head. That must have been something he decided to do because I most certainly haven't. He only confirmed my suspicions by getting a very guilty look on his face.

I kissed him and pulled him out the door to the truck that we haven't driven in ages since we hadn't left the house.

"Don't worry, we can have some fun while Bella is burning. I will have to leave the house periodically otherwise the pain will get to me." I informed him

"I was wondering about that. I knew that you had changed people in the past but really didn't know if it affected you with your gift." I flinched at the memory of me having to change people. More often then not I ended up draining them before I could stop myself. Most of us do, Carlisle is the only one I have heard of who has done it right with each member of this family.

"Well lets just say it feels like going through the change all over again every time I am in proximity of someone who is enduring it. So I don't really enjoy having to be around for it." He grasped my hand and kissed the back of it as we took off down the road heading into town.

"Well then once I make sure Edward doesn't kill her we will leave and return just before she wakes up. We will have Alice keep us informed and let us know when it's safe to return." I smiled at him appreciating what he was doing for me. It truly was unbearable to be around not only the burning but the emotions. The fear, loneliness, anguish, despair, and pain, all of it made for a very unpleasant three days. I decide to broach the subject of Alice on the drive.

"It's good to have everyone home. I am concerned about Alice though she seems to be hiding something." I gave him an inquisitive look.

"Yes I noticed that also. But you know that whatever Alice does it is to ensure the best possible future for all involved." I pouted. I knew this but I wasn't used to her hiding things from me.

"I know it just feels weird to not be as close to her, you know. I mean for decades we were each other's confidants and the only ones we could talk to about certain things, and now it seems like she is hiding stuff and pulling away." I turned to look out the window not wanting him to see the hurt and think that I regret anything that has happened with us. I didn't but I did miss the bond Alice and I had.

"I understand that you are upset about this Jasper, but things are changing for all of us. There had to be the shift. I am your mate, I am suppose to be your best friend, confidant, and lover. Once Alice has her mate he will be all those things to her also. We can't move forward and still have things the way they were. It doesn't work that way." I knew he was right. He wasn't saying this to be cruel or trying to tell me I shouldn't be upset. But he was right in that he needed to be those things that Alice used to be for me.

I moved across the bench seat next to him and laid my head on his shoulder allowing his scent to wash over me and comfort me. The next few days and weeks were going to be hell so I was going to savor every moment of calm we had.

We made good time to town and pulled into the small grocery store the town had. I don't remember the last time I went grocery shopping. Maybe I never have been. I know I never went with Alice when she got food for Bella. Humm, this will be an interesting experience.

I pulled the list out of my pocket as Carlisle got a cart and we made our way inside. The smell hit me first and I was tempted to run back out into the fresh air. It was vile! How humans can stand to be in here is beyond me.

"God that is horrid!" I whispered in Car's ear and he just nodded in agreement.

"Let's get this stuff and get out of here as quickly as possible. What does she have on that list?" I looked it over and it might as well have been in Greek, actually I can understand Greek, this was like Klingon for something.

"I have no idea what half this shit is, maybe we should ask for help?" I informed him.

"Here let me see it." I passed it over and the crease in his brow deepened and he looked like he was concentrating on the most complex math equation in the world. "You're right help is in order." We went in search of someone we could dazzle into helping us out and quickly came across a young looking girl stocking shelves. Carlisle strode over to her with confidence.

"Excuse me miss," He asked to get her attention, I almost laughed when she looked at him she was dazzled alright.

"Yy...ye…yes." She managed to stutter out and Carlisle smirked at her. Oh he was so not playing fair.

"I was wondering, we are new to the area," he gestured to me, "and are having some trouble finding some things in this store. Would you be able to assist us?" He widened his smile a bit, but not enough to flash his teeth.

"O…of…of course I can. Do you have a list of what you need?" Carlisle handed the list over to her and she looked it over before looking back at him, "How about I just get this stuff for you real quick it's not too much shouldn't take more then a few minutes." She offered.

"You don't have to do that, you can just point us in the right direction." He countered, he really didn't want to put her out.

"No, it's no trouble really. It would be quicker for me to get it all for you then to explain it all anyway." He just nodded at her and winked. She turned about five shades of red giving Bella a run for her money.

"Thank you then, it is much appreciated." He looked over at me with a huge shit eating grin and rolled my eyes. I think this was the first time he ever used his 'looks' to get someone to do something. He was just too adorable.

We made our way to the check out and waited for the young woman to return with the items. We didn't have to wait long before she was back and we were ready to leave. I certainly hope Bella knows what to do with this shit cause I don't think any of us do. At least it's her eating it not me. I shivered at the thought. Carlisle shot me an amused look as we made our way out to the truck and home.

We were pulling in when I heard the commotion coming from inside. It didn't sound like anyone was fighting but there were most certainly in a heated discussion about something. As we made our way back in with the bags I was able to hear what was going on and busted out laughing.

"I refuse to play that game with you guys! You all CHEAT!" Emmett was standing on one side of the living room with Rose. He was yelling at Edward and Alice.

"It's not cheating if we can't help it!" Edward shot back, Bella was sitting on a chair in the middle watching the argument like it was a tennis match. She was trying, not very well I might add, to hide her laughter.

"Yeah come on guys, I have never played it and it looks like fun!" Alice pouted.

"I don't give a flying rats ass, there is no way I am playing this with you. It's bad enough you cheat when we fight, but I will not have you tarnish_ Clue_!" OH MY GOD! Are you kidding me. They were fighting this heatedly about Colonel Muster, in the Library, with the rope! God I love my family. I heard Carlisle bust up next to me before he takes the bags into the kitchen. About this time I noticed Peter and Charlotte were approaching from the North. This was going to be a fun night.

Peter busts in the door with a huge smirk on his face and grabs me into a huge bear hug,

"Bro, you finally got some, way to go!" Oh shit does this fucker ever learn. Before I can get out of his grasp I see a snarling Carlisle behind Peter.

"PETER!" He shouts at him, and I suddenly find my self on the floor being dropped by him like a fucking nuclear bomb about to go off. Shit head. "Do you not remember the little talk we all had a few days ago?" He was staring a visibly shaken Peter down.

"I'm sorry Carlisle, Sir," Yeah like that will help, "I meant no disrespect, I just missed my brother and I..I…" He was at a loss for what to say and I almost felt bad for him, almost.

I got off the floor and crossed the foyer to where Carlisle was glaring at Peter. Charlotte was just shaking her head and the stupidity of her husband. I knew that it was different then when Emmett or Edward hugged me. I didn't have a history with them, and they had been my brothers for 50 years. While I considered Peter my brother, now, that wasn't always the case and I knew that Carlisle was having a difficult time with that aspect of our past relationship.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his neck hoping having me next to him would calm him a bit so he didn't rip a limb off. Not that it would be the first time Peter had lost a limb do to his mouth, but it wasn't pleasant.

"Fine, I understand, just please watch yourself." Peter held his hands up in surrender.

"Absolutely, got it, hands off the goods." He wiggled his eyebrows at me before moving into the living room. I leaned up and kissed Carlisle soundly on the lips before pulling him into the living room.

"Come one, let's go have family bonding time." The fight in the living room rages on as they debate whether or not using your gifts is actually cheating or not. I send a dose of calm, acceptance, and love through the room as everyone starts to relax. That is until Emmett notices it's not him really feeling this way.

"Jasper you are just as bad as the 2 bit fortune teller, and the mind rapper over there!" He huffs and collapses on the couch. I think I heard him mumble something about his family 'being a bunch of circus freaks' but I can't really be sure.

"He did." Edward confirms for me and turns to stick his tongue out at Emmett.

"I'll show you where to stick that…" He is cut off by Rose smacking him on the head before he can finish the thought.

"You are just begging for trouble tonight. Now behave or no sex for a month." I snort but try to cover it with a cough.

"What I can go a month with out giving it up!" She proclaims.

"I didn't say you couldn't." I inform her.

"No but you were thinking it." She retorts. I shake my head.

"No I wasn't and you can't prove it." I throw back.

"No but I can, yes that is what he was thinking." Bastard! Edward just smirks at me.

"I thought us 'circus freaks' needed to stick together." I whine.

"Nope, every man for themselves. I will toss you under the bus ever damn time!" He really was a little weasel.

"That's not very nice. Do you remember the threat I made to Emmett about the erectile dysfunction? I have no qualms about turning that on you also!" I threaten him.

"You wouldn't?" I had to laugh, that's exactly what Emmett said too! Why did they doubt me? I must be losing my touch.

"Push it pretty boy and see what happens the next time you try to get it up for Bells here!" She goes wide eyed and blushes like a neon sign on the strip.

"Alright everyone enough. Let's have a civil night with each other before we have to kill poor Bella here." Car says. I was glad he didn't say 'children enough' like he used to. I defiantly don't have 'daddy' fantasy's! That is just too weird for me. I saw Edward cringe and had to laugh.

"I am right with you on that on Jazz." He flinches again and shakes his head to try and ride itself of whatever image popped in. Oh I can give him some images! "YOU BETTER NOT!" He yells but it was too late my mind had already shift, not purposely, to some previous activities Carlisle and I had participated in.

"What? What's going on?" Emmett always the curious one wanted to know.

"Nothing, I just need brain bleach, again! Jasper can you please not think of showers, skinny dipping, or anything that has to do with our father and sex for, well, the rest of eternity!" I tried I really did try, but I just can't help it. Once my head is in that place I can't just turn it off.

"Oh, nice that's classic! Ha!" Emmett pumped his fists in the air whooping at the same time.

"Oh Christ, Carlisle not you too!" Edward put his hands over his ears like trying in vain to block out the barrage of elicit images he was being bombarded with. The rest of the family was just cracking up.

"What I can't help it. It's like the flood gate has been open and you can't just shut it off." He tossed out his defense.

"Well can everyone please, please try to keep the sexual exploits you have had under wraps a much as possible?" I did feel bad for him to an extent. But then I remembered that he only had to see the stuff he didn't have to constantly feel the affects. I mean I almost constantly walk around hard from all the lust this family tosses around. At least now I have an outlet.

"Ok everyone stop tormenting poor Edward, let's bond damn it!"

* * *

After a few games of_ Clue,_ which Alice and Edward were forced to sit out of, watching Bella eat food I didn't even want to identify, and several movies Alice's eyes glazed over again. I noticed she exchanged looks with Edward and he just sighed and shook his head. I had enough of this. It wasn't the first time they had done this in the last few hours.

"Ok, that's enough of this. Whatever you are seeing I think you need to tell us. Obviously it involves what's coming so please tell us." I hated not knowing what was going to happen, it went against my nature as a soldier. I saw Alice look over at Peter and was even more agitated, fucking Yoda bastard, I saw him nod and Alice sighed and looked over at me with sad eyes.

"Ok Jazzy, I'll tell you, but you aren't going to like it." It couldn't be that bad could it? Oh God what if something happens to Carlisle? Or someone else in the family?

"Please the suspense is killing me." I pleaded.

"Just stay calm and let me get all this out ok?" I nodded to her and Carlisle took my hand squeezing it in support. "My mate is a Volturi guard."

"WHAT?" How can that be? If he is one of the guard that means he has a power and the brothers aren't going to let him go easily. Where does that leave her? He can't leave, that means she has to….NO!

"YOU ARE NOT GOING WITH THEM!" There was a collective gasp from everyone in the room aside from Peter and Edward. I wanted nothing more then to pummel them for keeping this from us.

"I made them promise not to tell. Jasper you have to understand. Not only is it the only way my mate and I will be together, but it's also the only way we will all get out of this alive." I didn't understand. Once Bella was a vampire they would have no reason to kill us.

"Please explain." I said shortly.

"You remember when Carlisle stayed with the Volturi right?" I nodded, we had heard many stories from his time with our 'leaders'. "Well it seems like Marcus formed quite the….crush on him." My anger started to rise again, no way in hell was I letting him anywhere near my mate.

"Baby, you are projecting," Car whispered in my ear rubbing my back, "calm down and we can figure this out." I took a few deep breaths and tried to pull back on my anger so it wasn't leaking out to everyone.

"Sorry, please go on." She looked at me skeptically but started again.

"They are going to try and get him to go back with them. If they can't persuade him then they are going to accuse Carlisle of hiding the existence of werewolves from them and putting our race in jeopardy by not informing them that Children of the Moon were still around." That didn't make any sense, the Children of the Moon were eradicated years ago. As if sensing my confusion she explained.

"They heard from Victoria and Laurent about the wolves in La Push. They went there first looking for James and had a minor altercation with them. Of course we know they are not the same creatures from the past, but the others don't. They are going to say that Carlisle broke the law by hiding the threat and are going to tell him the only way to avoid death is to become Marcus's mate." This was too much, there had to be away out of this with out losing him. He pulled me tighter into his side needing the connection as much as I did. This couldn't be happening to us. We just got each other and now they were threatening to rip us apart again.

"Don't worry Jasper, she has away to avoid all this." Peter chimed in. My head left Cars' shoulder in anticipation.

"The only way they won't try to take him is if we offer them something Aro wants more." She informed me. I still wasn't getting it. She sighed before going on, "I will have to agree to join the guard." She stated barely audible.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I shouted at Alice. She was off her rocker if she thought for one second I was going to let her do this!

"Jasper it's the only way. You have trust me. It won't be for long then we will all be together again!" She pleaded with me to understand.

I looked around the room at the rest of the family looking for someone anyone to agree with me on this. I thought for sure Carlisle would never allow this to happen but he seemed resigned to this fate as well. My gaze fell on my last hope, Peter.

"Peter come on, we are fighters we can do this, she doesn't have to make this sacrifice!" He shut his eyes for a second before looking back at me.

"Yes, yes she does." He agreed. I jumped out of my seat and started pacing.

"So you are telling me either you, my sister of over 50 years, has to join a group of ruthless killers, or I lose my mate. Those are my choices?" I couldn't, I wouldn't choose.

"NO, it's not your choice, it's mine and I have already made it. Nothing you can say is going to change it. It is now set. No other decision will alter this future." I didn't like this one bit. I went and kneeled in front of her taking her face in my hands.

"Pix, there has to be another way. You can't tell me that I finally get my mate and lose my best friend and sister?" I was breaking apart. Her eyes soften at me and I felt Carlisle next to me holding on to me, grounding me.

"Jazz, it is the only way. Don't you think I have tried to find every possible out come? We fight we die, Carlisle refuses and we don't offer an alternative, we die. But good will come of it. I will get my mate, and be happy in the end and like I said it's not forever." I knew she would have tried anything she could to get out of this but it didn't make me feel better.

"How long?" I was hoping for some time frame any bit of hope I could latch onto.

"I don't know." She threw her arms around my neck and we held onto each other. For so long we had only been able to confide in each other. The bond we share was deeper then I had with any with the others in the family, aside from Carlisle. I can't imagine not seeing her for some undeterminably amount of time. Another question came to mind at this.

"Will you be able to keep up your lifestyle?" At this she started to sob lightly.

"Oh Ali," I stroked her hair and tried to calm her by letting her know it wasn't her fault and turning her words on her. It wasn't forever, "Like you said it's not forever. No one here is going to judge you for having to do this. The sacrifice you are making, you shouldn't have to do this." The indignation I felt was palpable. This wasn't fair.

"Jazz, life isn't fair. But out of the mire happiness and love will rise." She pulled back and looked at me brushing a lock of hair out of my eyes. I gave her a weak smile as her eyes lost focus again, this time only for a few seconds. "It's time."

I got up and pulled her into a hug and noticed everyone else was clinging on to each other. Carlisle had moved to the side to give Alice and I some privacy but I needed to be connected to him right now. I grabbed him and pulled him into our hug, couple by couple everyone joined the group hug savoring the last few minutes we would all be together. It would only be hours after Bella woke up until the Volturi would be here and separating us again for an unknown length of time.

"Edward why don't you and Bella go up and get her comfortable, but don't start until I join you." He nodded as Bella hugged everyone. I could sense her guilt and it only grew as she made her way to me.

"Jasper," she whispered as she pulled me into an embrace, "I am so sorry, this is my fault." She had tears glistening in her eyes when she pulled back to look at me.

"No, Bells, it's not. This is no ones fault but James, Laurent, and Victoria's. They made the decisions that lead us down this path. You were just the catalyst. If not you they would have found another way." I wipe her tears away with my thumb and kissed her cheek. "Don't leave this life with guilt and remorse flowing through you. Go into the next stage of existence knowing nothing but love and acceptance, knowing that your family is waiting on the other side to welcome you with open arms and open hearts." She threw her arms around me hugging as tight as she could before moving back to Edwards side as they made their way upstairs.

When they were gone Carlisle pulled me into a comforting hug.

"Pack a overnight bag, when I am done upstairs you're leaving for the duration of the change. You are in enough pain as it is, I will not subject you to more." His tone left no room for argument. I nodded and kissed him before making my way up to pack for us. When I got upstairs I saw my bag on the bed already to go.

"Alice," I chuckled.

"Just because we aren't married anymore doesn't mean I can't do stuff for you." She was in the doorway and I turned to her opening my arms. She ran into them.

"I can't imagine not having you here. What am I going to do without you? Wait Carlisle and I can't leave. I am not going to abandon you days before I lose you for God knows how long!" How did I not realize this sooner.

"Jasper, you have to. Even if you stayed we wouldn't be able to be do anything. You would be crippled by pain." I knew she was right but it still didn't sit right with me. I pulled her down to sit on my lap on the bed just content in being with her for the last few minutes. We didn't talk, there wasn't a need to, we were just content for now.

The quite of the house was startled by an almighty scream and I was hit with the agonizing pain and fire that was now coursing through Bella's body. I whimpered. Moments later Carlisle appeared in the doorway.

"You ready?" I nodded and moved off the bed placing Alice on her feet. I grabbed her hand and my bag as we followed Carlisle back downstairs.

I noticed Edward wasn't down here, not that I expected him to be, I said goodbye to him in my mind apologizing for having to leave. The pain was already almost more then I could bear. If I didn't get out of here soon someone was going to have to carry me out.

I hugged my family goodbye as Alice and Carlisle and I went out side. It was only then that I noticed Carlisle didn't have a bag with him.

"Carlisle, where is your bag?" He pulled me into his arms and I saw Alice get into the passenger seat of the truck. I was confused.

"You and Alice need some time. She is going with you love, I know your bond and I can't be selfish and take the last few days you have with her away. Just keep in touch and know that I love you more then anything in this world." I had so many emotions flowing through me I couldn't even tell what they all were. The strongest were awe, gratitude, and love.

I attacked his mouth with mine forcing my tongue deep into his mouth tasting him for the last time for what would be days. He returned the kiss with just as much passion wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me tighter to him. I felt his cock brush against mine and moaned in pleasure.

I was starting to grind my hips into his when I was suddenly brought to my knees with a surge of so much pain I was gasping for breath.

"Alice you move and drive at least until you get far enough away so he can't feel the pain." Before I knew it I was in the truck, he must have carried me there because I don't remember moving.

"I'll take care of him Carlisle, we are going to go shopping." She giggled. Damn maybe I should stay and endure the pain. I heard Carlisle laugh and kiss my forehead.

"I love you, take care of my heart it's going with you." He kissed me once more on the lips before pulling back and closing the door. I put my hand up to the glass and he pressed his to the other side before Alice started the truck and pulled out of the driveway, leaving my love in a cloud of dust.

I laid my head back against the head rest as the pain slowly started to dissipate only to be replaced by a dull ache in my chest the further away we got from the homestead. I knew it was because my heart, and soul had been left behind.

"Don't worry I'll keep you so busy you won't have time to miss anyone!" I groaned knowing I wasn't going to enjoy her type of busy but would be grateful for the distraction and the time I would get to spend with her.

"Thank you Ali, I love you ya know?" I grabbed her hand from the wheel holding on tightly.

"I know, I love you too." We just sat in silence watching the scenery and thinking about what had happened and what would be happening. I couldn't believe how much life was going to change, and this time they wouldn't be for the better. Yet at least. I just had to trust that Alice knew best and it would all work out. Even if I didn't like it. She looked over at me and winked.

"Eye spy with my little eye…." DAMN IT!

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it. As usual reviews get a preview, so show me love. If everyone who has add this story to their favorites reviewed I would have tons! Let do it people, not that I don't love the adds cause I do! Until next time! **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey all! So I need to do disclaimer cause I am somewhat lax in it. I own nothing you all know who it does belong too! **

**Also again my wonderful Beta Jaspered01 is awesome. Thank you for your support and encouragement, you really are amazing. **

**I have a knew story if you are interested. It's called Patchwork Family. It's listed under a Edward/Jasper story but there are multiple non-canon couples that will surprise you! Its and all human story. check it out if you want. **

**CPOV:**

I watched my soul drive away with his ex-wife. If that doesn't sound fucked up I didn't know what did. I wasn't looking forward to not being with him these next few days, but after I heard that Alice was going to be leaving us for an unknown period of time, I knew that they needed some time together.

That whole scenario was just really messing with my head. Everything in my being was telling me to not let her do this, to fight, even if it meant we couldn't win. But then the other more rational side of me took over, the side that said at least this way we all get out of this alive, and I would still have my mate by my side. I am just having a hard time reconciling both sides.

I took a seat on the porch steps watching the driveway long after my vampire eyes could no longer see the tail lights. There was so much to think about. I knew the Volturi would stoop to deplorable levels to get what they wanted, I just had no idea that one of the things they wanted was me. I mean Marcus, really? The guy is like a living statue, I don't think I ever remember having a conversation with him. How could he have feelings for me? I thought he was still mourning the death of his wife? This was so confusing.

Alice did say it was a crush, I don't want to think about it. Marcus was always the creepiest and weirdest of them all. I never knew why but the way he watched me just didn't sit right. Now that Alice informed me of his infatuation with me it makes sense on a very disturbing level.

I hate that my family has to fall apart for everyone to survive. But at this point I just have to trust that Alice does know what she is doing and it is her choice. One I was glad she made. I don't think I could choose between any of them, actually that's not true, I would choose my mate. Hands down, no contest. But what kind of father and coven leader does that make me? A vampire one. The bond between true mates is one that can not be severed and the physical pain from being separated from ones mate is very real. Yes we can deal with it and work through it for a time. But for one to lose their mate is to slowly lose ones mind.

Marcus is a perfect example of that. I am pretty sure since that man lost his wife he has turned bat shit crazy! Most other mates would have begged for death right along side the one that has passed, and he did also, but the brothers denied him. Over the years he turned in on himself, never speaking or showing interest in anything. Except me apparently. That thought was very disconcerting.

An ear shattering scream pierced through my musings and I decided to head on inside and check on Edward. I know this must be agonizing for him. I quickly made my way up to their room. Edward was on the bed holding tightly to Bella who was laying still and stiff in his arms, a whimper and the occasional scream was the only indication that anything was even happening.

"That's not normal Carlisle. Are you sure I got enough venom in? What if I did something wrong? She's so still. Rose was thrashing around uncontrollably, and Esme screamed almost constantly! What if I lose her? I won't survive it." He buried his face in her neck dry sobbing. I went over and put my hand on his shoulder.

"You did everything fine, Edward. We have never had someone go through the change by choice. We have no idea what effect, if any, it will have. Everyone's change is different. I didn't move or scream when I changed, I couldn't, otherwise I would have been discovered. I am sure she is fine." The depth of sadness at seeing his soul-mate in pain is unreal. I can't imagine seeing Jasper go through something like this. That's why I had to send him away, it killed me not to go with him though.

"You did the right thing letting them go together." Edward confirmed for me.

"I know it doesn't make it easier though. I just got him and now I'll be without him for the next three days. I don't like it." I was aware I was already becoming whinny and pouty but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"No I bet it doesn't but we always make sacrifices for the ones we love." I knew he was right. I would give anything to make sure Jasper was safe and happy. Bella started to whimper again pulling Edwards attention away. I decided to leave them in peace and made my way up the stairs heading towards Jaspers room. I passed by Emmett and Rosalie's one the way and was called out by none other then Emmett.

"So Car, you got your man cherry popped huh? How was that?" I was so not in the mood for this right now.

"What makes you think I was the one that took it?" That was just rude to assume.

"Well you are more passive by nature so I just figured that would roll over, haha, roll over, I kill me, to this relationship too." Oh was he in for a rude awakening.

"I know that I may have been that way in the past, but you will soon realize that some things will be changing in this family." I informed him but didn't feel the need to elaborate.

"So you don't know what it's like to have your man cherry popped?" He sounded disappointed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No but if you want to know I can find something around here to simulate the feeling for you?" He vigorously shook his head no. I walked out of the room and up to Jaspers where I laid down on the bed drowning in the scent of my now missing love.

I just laid there for hours listening to the sounds of the house and thinking back on everything that had happened in the last few months, and how much I had personally changed.

I took to examining my relationship with Esme as it compared to the one I had with Jasper, and in all honestly there really was no comparison. I honestly don't think I would ever have killed for Esme like I did for Jasper. I would have protected her, don't get me wrong, but to actually have ended a life for her, I didn't see myself doing it. But when it was Jasper that was in danger there was never the option of letting James come out of it still breathing.

That made me pause for a minute. I had always abhorred violence of any kind and the thought of ever killing someone just never entered my mind before. Now not only had I killed someone, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would do it again if need be. I would protect my family, my mate, even if it meant giving over to my baser instincts. My relationship with Jasper just seemed to bring out the vampire in me, and for some reason I was alright with that. It didn't make me feel like the monster I had always imagined I would feel like if I let the animal take over. No, it made me feel strong, virile, and in control.

This wasn't the illusion of control I had before, no, thiswas my animal screaming, "_DO NOT FUCK WITH MY MATE, OR MY FAMILY, OR YOU WILL DIE!"_ I didn't for one second doubt that I wouldn't hesitate to kill again if I had to.

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard someone on the stairs making their way towards me. I sniffed the air and immediately sat up as Peters frame came into view in the doorway.

"Hey Carlisle." He waved at me. I could tell he wanted to talk so I gestured for him to come in. He took a seat on the lounge chair by the bookshelves.

"Was there something I can help you with Peter?" I was curious what he needed. Peter and mines relationship was rocky at best.

"I wanted to talk to you." Really, I didn't get that when you came in here to disturb my wallowing.

"About?" Was my short answer. He sighed and leaned forward elbows on his knees chin resting in his hands.

"I know that you have issues with me, and my past with Jasper." I growled lowly and he moved back in his seat a bit but held his hands up telling me to wait before jumping down his throat, "Easy tiger, just talking here." I narrowed my eyes at him but relaxed back against the headboard a bit.

"Sorry, I don't know what it is about you that sets me on edge in regards to him, but it does." He nodded at me.

"I know, and I know why." Oh this could be good, some insight. Because I really didn't have anything against Peter per say, beside the fact that he is the only person in close proximity that fucked my mate and is still living. "You see me as a threat." Umm, duh. He just chuckled, Did I say that out loud? He nodded at me. Well Shit.

"Sorry." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Well you shouldn't. You realize I am not the only one here who has 'fuck' Jasper as you say." What did he mean, I know for sure Emmett would never do something, Edward was a prude until he meet Bella.

"Hey I heard that!" I laughed at Edward as he called out from his room mildly offended by my thought.

"Do you forget Charlotte? She and Jasper were together just as much as he and I were and the three of us were together also. I think you see me as more of a threat because I am a guy and you know that he prefers it. But in all honesty with us it was never more then an escape from the reality we were forced to live in, it was a release, more like a service we provided each other. Safe, sane, consensual." He chuckled and I had to join in, "It was also like 80 years ago Carlisle. I think of Jasper as nothing more then a little brother and best friend. I don't want to lose him or you over this. I really am starting to like the idea of the whole 'family' thing." He finished.

I thought about it for a minute. He was right, which annoyed me, but Jasper and Charlotte had just as much history as Peter and Jasper did, yet I didn't see her as a threat at all. Charlotte could hug him, joke with him, sit on his lap, and I felt no possessiveness. But Peter gets near him and I am ready to tear him apart. That's not fair to either one of them. After all if it wasn't for Peter, Jasper, may never have been able to escape Maria. I owed him way more then realized. I suddenly felt ashamed of my actions.

"Peter I'm…." I was going to apologize but he interrupted me. Jasper was right that was incredibly annoying!

"Get over it, and you have no reason to apologize you were just being territorial. It's very new for you, I understand. I just wanted you to know that you have nothing to worry about. I love Jasper, but like Emmet and Edward love him, not like you love him. He's too emo for me!" It was my turn to roll my eyes at him.

"Thank you Peter. I know I haven't been fair. This is all so knew to me. I never felt possessive like this over Esme, it's a lot for me to deal with all the new emotions." He smirked at me and stood up.

"You're welcome Carlisle. You are an amazing man and I couldn't imagine anyone better for my brother then you. He has carried so much with him for so long it's refreshing to see him let someone take control and take care of him for once." That's all I ever wanted to do was protect him, watch over him, and make him happy for eternity.

"All I want to do is make him happy and keep him safe." He looked thoughtful for a minute.

"I know you do which is why I want to talk to you about something else." That sounded ominous.

"Please what is it?" I didn't like the feeling I was getting in the pit of my stomach.

"You are going to have to pull out your leader card when it comes to Jasper and the fight with the Volturi." My brows knitted together trying to figure out what he meant.

"I don't understand Peter." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Jasper isn't going to go along with Alice's plan willingly. He is going to try to get her out of it and it will only serve to further annoy and anger them. You are going to have to reign him in and in order to do that you are going to have to show him who is in charge. I know you have to an extent but this will be the first time you will have to exact your control over him in a not so pleasant manner." How the hell was I going to do that?

"I won't hurt him if that's what you're getting at." He shook his head.

"No, no, no, that's not it. As his mate you could never hurt him, you may just have to….umm…." This suspense was killing me! I jumped off the bed and got into his face.

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"You may have to physically restrain him and he may end up saying something's he won't mean, but they will hurt, but you can not let him go or he will attack one of the brothers and then all bets are out the window." I was struggling with this new bit of information. It went against my nature to have to cause any harm or deny my mate anything, how could I possibly handle having to restrain him this way. As if sensing my inner turmoil Peter continued to talk.

"It's your only option. If you don't get him under control he will die!" I growled in response, but he didn't stop, "not only will you lose your mate but Alice will never get hers, and you will be forced to go with them to play 'mate' to a very delusional Marcus. If there was another way believe me I haven't found it." My eyes slid closed. This entire fight hinged on me being able to do something I wasn't sure I could ever do. Sometimes being the leader sucked ass.

"Will we make it through this? If I do this will he ever forgive me for letting her go and not letting him fight?" I had to know that I wouldn't lose him.

"Yes, he will see that it was the only way once he is able to think rationally again." I nodded and swallowed thickly. I couldn't even think about him not forgiving me, about not being with him. I would rather die then let that happen.

"Thank you Peter. I am sorry, I will try to be more understanding, just give me some time." He nodded and left me to my thoughts.

I laid back on the bed listening to the sounds in the house. Peter and Emmett were just starting some game on the TV, Charlotte and Rose were discussing a shopping trip soon, and poor Bella was whimpering in pain while Edward cooed in her ear telling her it was alright and giving her a count down to how much longer she had to burn. I most certainly don't envy her at this point.

As I laid there listening to my family I pondered the future. No one knew how long Alice would have to be gone or how she would eventually work out her freedom. I wasn't even sure if she knew any of those details. I couldn't help but wonder about her mate though. The guard had remained the same for the most part since my time with them. So I filtered through who I remembered being there. Demetri, he was an interesting guy, he seem a bit sadistic though, he was a glorified bloodhound in my opinion. Felix, well he was just huge, he could rival Emmett in size, at about 6'6" and full on muscle, they would make a very humorous pair with the size difference. Alec, what can you really say about him, he and his sister are rarely ever apart and I don't really see that changing, weird relationship those two. There were a few lower level guards that I didn't really pay attention too when I was there. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to figure it out.

But her leaving did draw out several other questions. Would we, or should we even, still try for school once Bella was able to control herself? I felt bad moving on with life while she was sacrificing so much to save us. But she would be with her mate getting to know him, and how long could we put our lives on hold for? I mean yes we have eternity but how does this alter all our others plans. Damn this is shit we are going to have to talk about with the whole family. I was pulled out of my musings this time by my phone ringing on the stand next to me. I looked at the caller ID and had to smile. My beautiful soldier.

"Jasper," I breathed out.

"Hello sweets, how are you holding up?" He sounded sad and I wanted nothing more then to be with him comforting him and holding him.

"I am alright. I miss you so much already." I looked at the clock and realize it has been about a day since he left. Wow time really flies when you are wallowing.

"I know I miss you too. Only two more days until I am back in your arms." He sounded wistful.

"I can't wait beautiful. How is it going with Alice? She isn't driving you insane yet is she?" I laughed knowing he probably wasn't thrilled that she was going to force him to shop.

"No, she is being fine. We haven't shopped too much yet. She took me to a museum and we went hunting, nothing to exciting. We are in a hotel right now, well I am I have no idea where the whirling dervish has gone too." That was a perfect way to describe her.

"So I had an interesting conversation with Peter." I informed him and I heard his sharp intake of breath. "Don't worry beautiful it wasn't bad. In fact he helped me realize something's I didn't before." I informed him.

"Oh really and what did you realize." He said sounding intrigued.

"He just helped me understand that while yes he loves you it's more like the way Emmett and Edward love you and definitely not how I love." My voice sounded a bit husky as I thought about how much I did love him.

"Oh and how exactly is it that you love me?" I could hear the playfulness in his voice.

"I love you with a fire that fills my very soul and burns through me setting me ablaze at the mere thought of you. I love you so much that being away from you right now causes me real and actual physical pain. I love you to the extent that if anything were to ever happen and you were no longer on this earth I would be quickly following you into the sweet oblivion of the afterlife." I heard him let out a breath.

"WOW…that's…deep." I had to laugh yes, yes it was but I had to tell him, he had to know this, he had to know that no matter what happened I loved him more then my own life. But now maybe we could have a little play time, I smirked to myself.

"You know what else I love?" I said seductively.

"Wh…what?" He was already having a hard time forming word, most excellent.

"I love the sounds you make when suck you off." I told him bluntly.

"Oh fuck." He groaned out.

"Do you want my mouth on you now?" I teased.

"Yes, please, now." He pleaded.

"Take off your clothes baby. I want you naked." I heard the swishing sound of garments hitting the floor.

"Well you have me naked what are you going to do with me." He sang out.

"Now I am going to lick you everywhere my tongue can find starting at you gorgeous feet. My slick tongue working its way over your amazing calf muscles, teasing the back of your knee where you are so sensitive." He was breathing heavy.

"Car, you feel so good, are you naked baby, I need you with me." I didn't need anymore prodding then that and made quick work of my own clothing. I ripped my pants off and hissed as my extremely hard cock sprang free. "Are you naked?" He asked breathlessly.

"Yeah baby, God I wish you were here, I am so hard for you." I gasped as I moved up the bed and my hard on rubbed against the fabric of the bedspread.

"I do too, I want nothing more then to taste you right now, ummm, there is nothing better in this world then the feel of your cock sliding in and out from between my lips." He hummed and I could see his pink tongue dart out to like my slit in my mind.

"Nothing better then my cock in your mouth huh?" I asked him.

"Well there might be ONE thing better." I smiled at that.

"Oh and what might that be?" I worked my hand over my body pausing at my nipples to twist and pull lightly working them into harden peaks.

"You cock and tongue in my ass!" I heard a moan and had to know what he was doing.

"What are you doing? Are you touching yourself?' My own hand started to descend on body making its way to my throbbing and twitching member.

"Yes, God yes, I'm pinching my nipples hard, imagining your teeth scraping across my skin." OH shit.

"I can feel them pebble under my tongue. Hell you taste so fucking good. What do you want me to do now?" My hand very tentatively ghosted over the head of my cock and God damn did it feel good.

"I want my cock in your mouth so bad. I can feel you tracing my muscles as you work your way down to my pulsing hard on." I ran my thump over the head of my leaking cock imagining Jaspers tongue lapping up my pre-cum.

"Um…..so beautiful…your cock it amazing. I can't wait to feel you in my mouth. Where am I now?" I let him guide this telling me what he had imagined me doing.

"You take my shaft in your hand, and slowly lick around the head, shit, I am so sensitive." I can hear his voice quivering.

"Are you stroking yourself baby?" I wrapped my own fist around my shaft and slowly started to pump up and down.

"Yyesss….you are wrapping your lips around the head of my cock, shit…..you dip your tongue into the slit, so fucking good….." I can hear him thrashing on the other end of the phone and I start to pick up the pace on my own cock.

"Ugh, I can feel you throbbing in my mouth, fuck baby you are so hard, do I do this to you?" I cradled the phone between my shoulder and ear and move my other hand down to tug on my balls that are throbbing with the need to release the excess fluid. The fire was building in my stomach, the delicious ache telling me I wasn't going to last long.

"Only you Car, oh shit baby suck me hard, so amazing." His voice was raspy and I could hear that he was on the edge.

"Jas, baby, not going to last….damn it…" I started pumping faster twisting my wrist when I got to the head running my thumb under the rim and over the head. I could feel my muscles tensing as I move my hand to the sensitive spot behind my balls and pressing lightly.

"Me too Car, shit don't stop sooo close…ahhh…oh God…" His panting was hard and fast and I could tell he was coming undone and I fucking loved it. I just wish I could be there to watch him.

"You are so beautiful when you come, come with me baby." I told him almost demanding it as I pressed harder against my perineum and squeezed my shaft tighter.

"Oh CAR, shit, shit, shit….I'm….I'm" I heard a low growl and groan at the same time and it was enough to push me over the edge as I bucked my hips into my fist coming hard in my hand.

"FUCK!" Was the only thing I could manage to mutter as the force of my orgasm rendered me speechless.

I laid there panting trying to get myself under control when I heard giggles through the phone.

"What are you laughing about?" I asked in indignation.

"You realize this is the first time you actually masturbated without assistance?" He giggled again.

"Well I think I had plenty of assistance this time. It just wasn't the hands on kind." I moved to grab my shirt to clean up my mess, which was something I didn't enjoy about this whole process, sticky.

"Yeah Yeah, ewww, I'm all sticky." It was my turn to laugh now.

"I just thought that, the only bad thing about this, clean up!" I hated that I couldn't hold him in my arms and kiss him and see how bright his eyes were right after he comes. He was spectacular post-coital.

"God I wish I was there to see you, to have your arms wrapped around me. Telling me that all this shit was going to be ok and that we would come out of it stronger and together." I sighed I knew he was hurting.

"I do to baby, but we will get through this. I can't say that it's going to be easy, but we will make it together. Never, never, doubt my love and devotion to you. No matter what happens you are my soul." I was hoping reassuring him of this now would help when I had to take control later.

"I love you too, I can't even picture my life with out you." He choked out.

"I love you too." We just lay there in silence listening to each others steady breathing and enjoying the comfort it brought.

"Hey, Alice just got back. I better go spend some time with her." I didn't want to let him go but this was the whole reason he was there.

"Ok baby, I love you, have fun." We hung up and went to the bathroom to clean up and join the family for a bit.

"So, Car, have a good conversation with Jasper?" Emmett snickered as I entered the game room.

"It was very…satisfying." I went over and grabbed a book from the shelve and sat on the ottoman.

"Oh, we know, you weren't exactly quite. Welcome to the wonderful world of self- loving." Emmett kicked my foot with his.

"If you don't leave him alone self-loving is the only thing you will be experiencing for months." Rose chimed in and I shot her a grateful smile.

"Hey I didn't mean anything by it. I am glad he is exploring his sexuality. There is so much more to sex then just missionary style man." I narrowed my eyes at him. True my sex life wasn't that great with Esme but surely we did more then just that? Ok maybe not.

"Yes I am starting to realize that, and I got to say I am loving my re-education." I kicked his foot with mine this time making it fall off the coffee table it was resting on. "Feet off the damn table." His eyes widened for a brief minute but didn't argue.

"So how is everyone holding up with everything?" I wanted to know how the rest of the family was feeling about it all.

"I fucking pissed as hell. I can't believe the fuck faces think they can come in here and separate our family." Rose was seething. I could understand. Emmett paused his game and pulled her over to him. He really could be very considerate when he needed to be. If I could only find a way to filter his brain to think before he spoke.

"I am too, but it is her choice to do it. As much as I hate to say it I would rather be separated for a few years or decades then for eternity." Emmett smiled at her weakly as he gave his opinion on the subject. I had to agree with him. A temporary separation was better than anyone of us having to live without each other for the rest of our existence.

"I know this in theory. But she is my sister and I mean we already lost Esme, not that it was that huge of a tragedy, but this family is slowly crumbling around us. It makes me wonder who is next." I felt a stab in my heart at her fear, and I prayed to the God I believed in as a child, that Peters assessment of the future was right, and that I wasn't going to be forced to live without Jasper. I had meant what I said to him earlier. If something happened and he was taken from this earth I would not be far behind.

"I personally don't think it will be long." I looked over at Peter who had Charlotte situated on his lap. I wonder what he knew?

"Do you know something you're not telling us?" I demanded.

"No, it's just a feeling. You know me, Yoda and shit." He beamed at us. I 'humphed' and rolled my eyes at him.

"Well whatever happens we support each other. So when Alice comes back with her mate no matter who it is, or what happened in the past we will accept them with open arms. I will not tolerate any judgment. She is making a huge sacrifice for all of us and we will respect that." I leveled my gaze at Rose. She never took to new people joining us well.

I heard a chorus of yes sirs and nodded at them. Emmett went back to his game with Peter and I turned my attention back to my book willing the time to pass quickly so I could have my love back in my arms where he belonged.

Time passed excruciatingly slow. I divided my time between sitting with the family, reading in my study, checking on Edward and Bella, and hiding away in Jaspers room. While I was sitting there I started thinking that maybe I should move my stuff up here. I didn't want to spend anytime away from him. But I wasn't sure how he would take it honestly. It was a big step and even though we were mates I didn't know if I wanted to make the decision without discussing it with him first. I decided it was best to hold off and went to shower. I had gotten a text from Jasper letting me know he and Alice were on their way back and should get here an hour before Bella woke. By my calculations that gave me about three hours to kill.

I showered quickly and changed the sheets that I hadn't changed since my little phone escapade two days ago. I straightened up the room and once I was satisfied made my way back to the family.

Bella was entering the very finally stages of the change where the fire starts to recede from your limbs but moves to you chest for the most intense pain you will ever feel. Like someone took a hollow hot iron poker and jabbed it through your chest then proceeded to pour liquid hot magma into it and letting it flow through your chest. It keeps going until your sure you are lost in the fiery pits of hell for eternity when suddenly it stops along with your heart.

I could tell she was entering this stage because the screams coming from the room were terrifying. For the most part she had stayed fairly silent during her change but most people can't help but scream out at this point in the change. I truly felt for her. The only consolation was that it would soon be over.

After listening to three hours of gut wrenching screams I finally heard something that made me smile. Tires on the gravel drive way. I bolted up and ran out the door just as the truck came into view. I noticed Jasper wasn't driving again and knew that he would still be having issues with the amount of pain that was being projected.

The truck came to a stop and I wasted no time making my way over to the passenger side throwing the door open and pulling Jasper out and into my arms. His instantly wrapped around my waist as he buried his face in my neck inhaling deeply. I was finally whole again.

"God I missed you." I whispered into his hair.

"Me too, me too." We just stayed there for ages until I heard the loudest scream yet and Jaspers legs started to give way. I hated this even though it was only for a short time his pain was my pain.

"Let's go get you inside." I picked him up knowing that he had no hope of getting his legs to move with the incapacitating pain he was in. I was vaguely aware of Alice behind us as we walked into the living room where the rest of the family had congregated.

Everyone made the rounds saying hello and hugging Alice but kept their distance from us. For that I was grateful. I sat in the arm chair with Jasper on my lap as I tried to shove as much love and calm on him as I could.

"Alice, do you know how long?" I had to know how long he was going to have to endure this. She zoned out before blinking a few times and smiling.

"Only about 30 minutes at this point." I nodded.

"I think it would be smart to have as few people in the room as possible to start. We don't want to overwhelm the newborn." Newborns could be volatile and unpredictable. I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

"That's good. I think Edward, of course, you, and Jasper so he can gage her moods. Much more then that will set her on edge. It won't take her more then a few minutes to pull it together but the more people we bombard her with the longer it will take to get her calm." She gave a run down of the time frame once Bella woke up. We would have just enough time for her to go on her first hunt before we had to be back. We were going to be meeting the Volturi in the clearing in which I had fought and killed James. The irony was not lost on me. I was going to lose a member of my family on the same field in which I first gained my mate. Fate can be a mother fucker sometimes.

I was rubbing soothing circles on Jaspers back as he whimpered on occasion. I could tell he was trying not to show the pain he was sharing but it was overwhelming him taking complete control. He could focus on nothing else. I suddenly heard Bella's heart start to race and knew it was almost over.

"You should both head up now." The pain was starting to dissipate so Jasper was able to walk now, I got up and he grabbed my hand as we made our way upstairs. We walked into the room and instantly took in the changes that had occurred in Bella's body.

She was a bit taller, an inch or two, her hair was shinier and thicker, her curves had filled out just a bit more, he chest fuller, and her hips a bit rounder. She looked like a young women as opposed to a teenager. That was good. It gave us more options in the future.

"Edward I think you should move away from the bed until she recognizes you." I informed him but he shook his head and held on tighter. Not five seconds later Bella's heart took off fluttering faster then a humming bird. It slowed down again before giving three final thumps and beat its last. We all waited with baited breath the air was thick with tension. I did notice that Jasper had relaxed a bit now that he was no longer in pain, which in turn caused me to relax or it could have been that he was pushing waves of calm out that was doing it.

Bella inhaled sharply and growled low in her chest.

"Bella, love, it's Edward. You're safe, love." He pulled back just as she opened her eyes and smiled at her.

"Edward." With that one word I knew it was going to be ok.

"Hello love. Can you sit up?" The question no sooner left his lips then she was bolt upright in the bed the most adorable look of shock on her face. It was hard not to laugh at her but we all managed it. You didn't want to piss off a newborn.

"Do you recognize them?" Edward asked gesturing to us. She moved her eyes away from him and turned her gaze to me and Jasper.

"Carlisle and Jasper of course I know them. Oh shit I didn't miss the fight did I? Where's Alice? Is everyone ok? Wow my brain works so fast now!" At this we did chuckle, you couldn't help it.

"How are you so calm?" Jasper asked still a bit leery.

"What do you mean, how else should I be? Why didn't you answer my questions?" She was getting a bit snippy. I stepped up.

"To answer your questions, no you didn't miss anything yet, Alice is downstairs. We thought it best not to overwhelm you when you first woke up. Everyone is fine. Jasper is amazed that you are so in control because most newborns are very unstable only being able to focus on the bloodlust. The fact that you remember anything from past conversations and are able to form coherent thoughts without having hunted yet is quite amazing." She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows in concentration. Suddenly her hand went to her throat.

"Great so I'm a freak even for a vampire. But now that you mention it, my throat does burn a bit." She started rubbing her hand over it to sooth it but we all knew that would do nothing.

"Why don't we take her on her first hunt we will have time to go quick and then come back and see the family before we need to go meet the Volturi. There will be no time for any, umm relations, so you take her feed and then we come back." Jasper and I decided we were going to go with them but would remain in hearing distance in case they needed help but would otherwise leave them be.

Jasper and I jumped through the window followed by Edward. I looked up and saw Bella looking skeptically out the window and down at us.

"Come one love, jump you won't hurt yourself, promise." He assured her.

"Yeah, sure tell the clumsiest girl in the universe to jump out a window. You know I can't just forget 18 years of broken bones and hospital visits." I couldn't help the full on laugh now, but she wasn't finished, "My luck I would turn out to be an accident prone vampire and end up catching myself on fire even if there wasn't an open flame anywhere near me." She was mumbling more to herself now then anything.

Before we even had time to register what was happening Bella was flying through the air screeching the whole way down. I looked up and saw Peter in the window with a sheepish grin on his face.

"It would have taken her like five damn minutes to even think about jumping! I did her a favor!" She landed flawlessly next to us and growled up at Peter. "Oh save it princess, you are so not scary." He laughed.

"Peter can you please not antagonize the newborn." Jasper called to him.

"Whatever I got her to jump didn't I!" He defended.

"No actually you didn't you ass. You pushed me! You will pay for that later, but right now Bambi is waiting to meet his demise." With a somewhat disturbing laugh she took off into the woods.

Edward followed quickly after her. I took one last look at Peter who just shrugged as we moved to run into the forest as well, never once breaking our contact. Once we were a good ways in we found a downed tree and took up residence to wait.

"Did you and Alice have a good time?" I asked as he settled on the ground in front of me leaning back between my legs so his head was against my stomach.

"We did. It was nice to reconnect with her. Talk about what is happening. I understand why she is doing it now. I can't say that I like it or agree. But it is her choice and I have to respect that." I was glad to hear him coming to terms with this. Maybe I wouldn't have to do what Peter said I would.

"I know it's difficult to imagine this happening but I don't know what else we can do." I hated feeling so helpless in this situation.

"Hey, there isn't anything you can do. Don't feel like that, please." I ran my hands over his forearms that were dangling over my thighs.

"Sorry. Hey I wanted to talk to you about something." I figured now was as good a time as any.

"What?" He hummed as I continued to gently massage his arms and he relaxed further into me. Both of us basking in the completeness we felt now that we were together.

"Well I was thinking that I could move into your room permanently. I mean I have my office for personal time. I think it would be nice to have a room that's ours." I held my breath waiting for his response. I was terrified that he would think it was too fast.

Instead of a verbal response my mouth was accosted by his as he turned around to face me on his knees. I felt his wet tongue glide over my lips begging for entrance which I gladly granted. Our tongues danced in sync with one another, first one dominating, then the other. It was a wonderful tango that I never wanted to end. But it did end as he pulled back and placed a few chaste pecks on my lips.

"I have waited decades to hear you ask me that. I would love nothing more then for you to share my, I mean our room." His smile was so bright and I couldn't help myself. I leaned in and once again devoured his lips humming in appreciation for the gift I had just been granted. Pulling away after getting my fill for the moment I buried my nose in his neck as his arms went around my waist.

"Baby I just want you to know. No matter what happens later, no matter what anyone says or does, I love you. I love you and only you. Nothing you or anyone says will change that." He didn't know it but I was assuring him that no matter what HE said to me, even if it hurt me, I would love him no less. I had to make sure he understood that.

"I know. I would never believe anything they said about you sweets." My eyes closed tightly. Oh if only you knew it wasn't them I was worried about.

"Just promise me that no matter what ANYONE says you will know that I love you." I had to hear him say it.

"Carlisle, no matter what anyone, be it Aro, Peter, or even Alice, I know you love me and always will." I kissed his neck in the spot where I had marked him in our previous love making. I loved seeing my mark on him. It only solidified my feelings for him.

Before I could respond we heard Edward and Bella in the distance and knew they would be on us in a matter of minutes.

"Looks like we have company." I muttered.

"So it would seem." We stood up just as they broke through the thick of trees. Bella looked a little worse for wear but was smiling. Her shirt was destroyed barely hanging on by a thread and she had blood caked in her hair and mud everywhere.

"So how did it go?" I laughed.

"That was the best!" She was bouncing in place doing her best impression of Alice.

"She was a natural." Edward wrapped his arms around her to stop the bouncing but with the way he was watching her chest I would say it was for very different reasons then he would need with Alice in the same situation.

"We should get home so they can shower and we can spend some time with Alice before we have to go." Jasper informed us as he pulled my hand to lead me in the direction of the house. I could hear Bella and Edward pass us, both being much faster then either Jasper or me.

"I am going to go change also, I think I got some mud on my ass from the tree I was sitting on." I could feel the wet leaking through my jeans and didn't really enjoy the feeling.

"I think I will also." He went to go up the stairs once we hit home and I turned to make my way to my room.

"Oh Carlisle where do you think you're going?" Alice chirped from the living room.

"Well I was going to my room to change. My ass has mud on it." I realized what I said too late as Emmett busted out laughing.

"I'm sure that's not all your ass has on it!" He was gasping for breath and I was about to smack him until Rose beat me too it.

"Thanks Rose." I went to move towards my room again.

"Carlisle, you are going the wrong way." Alice sang out this time and I turned toward her with raised eyebrows.

"What do you mean Alice, my room has always been down this hallway." Was she going crazy?

"You're right it has been." I started to move again until she stopped me again, "Until now. While you were out I took the liberty of moving you things up to Jaspers room for you." I just stared at her for a minute in utter shock. It finally kicked in what she had done and I was overcome with gratitude for her thoughtfulness. I went over and pulled her into a huge hug.

"Thank you Alice. That means so much." I dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.

"It was nothing. Now go. We don't have long." I kissed her once more and ran up the stairs to Jaspers, no our, room. The sight that greeted me when I got there was one I wanted to see everyday for the rest of my life. He was shirtless with well worn faded wash jeans hanging low on his waist with the top button undone. He was staring at me with the most amazing smile I have ever seen.

"Did you see what she did?" He was so excited that it was leaking out to the room and me.

"I did see. Are you ok with it?" I stalked into the room and pulled him into my arms.

"I am more then ok with it. I am thrilled." I kissed him passionately pouring all my love and affection into that kiss so that he would have no doubt that I to was thrilled to be here. He pulled away first leaning his forehead against mine.

"You need to get changed and if I don't stop making out with you we won't leave this room to be able to spend time with the family." I kissed him once more before moving to the closet to get my clothes.

Seeing my possessions next to his was yet another defining moment in my life and I was struck with how well everything fit together. Just like us.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to everyone that has review thus far. You guys really do make my day! As always reviews get you a preview and you know you love them!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Ok this was a huge chapter and I really struggled to get it right. I really hope it works and that it is everything you wanted it to be! Usual disclaimer, I don't own anything, blah, blah, yadda yadda.**

**Again major props to my amazing Beta Jaspered01 who took the time to edit this mammoth creation. You rock my world, oh and Congrats! **

**So see you at the bottom! Enjoy!**

**JPOV:**

I watched Carlisle as he realized what Alice had done moving his things into my, _our_ room and was amazed at how well it all fit together, just like us.

"I love seeing your stuff next to mine." I put my arms around his waist and pulled him back into me.

"They fit together. Just like us." His hands came to rest over mine on his abdomen and I put my chin on his shoulder.

"Just remember that baby." He whispers so low that if not for my vampire hearing I wouldn't have caught it.

"Nothing could make me forget." I kiss the back of his neck and pull away swatting his ass as I do. "Get changed we have ass holes to deal with." He chuckles at me but makes his way to his side of the closet. As I watched him I was brought back to a particular memory from my trip with Alice. She had taken me to a History Museum to make up for having to shop all the time, when she suddenly froze mid-step and turned around looking at me seriously.

"_You know Jasper, it's not easy for Carlisle to be the leader." I looked at her quizzically. Of course I knew that._

"_I know that Alice. But since you mentioned it what makes you say that?" She just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly._

"_I'm just letting you know that even though it might seem like he is taking the easy way out sometimes nothing he does, or is going to do, is easy for him." I pondered this for a few minutes._

"_What do you know Alice?" Obviously she knew something important. I couldn't understand why she didn't just tell me instead of playing these head games._

"_I didn't tell you because something's you need to find out for yourself. I just want you to know that sometime's we don't always understand people's motivation for doing what they do and sometime's we say things that hurt those we love." What was she getting at?_

"_Alice, I don't understand what you're talking about." She gave me a sad smile._

"_I just want you remember what you and Carlisle have fought so long for. No matter what happens know that the love you have for each other is real and unchanging." She wrapped her arms around my waist and I placed a kiss on the top of her head._

"_I'll remember Alice, I promise." She looked at me for a minute the leaned up and pecked my cheek. _

"_I'll hold you to that."_ _With that she walked on to the next exhibit. _

Clearing my head from the memory I was wondering why people kept trying to remind me to remember, did that even make any sense? Oh well, it was getting a little annoying to say the least. I know he love's me, why does everyone think I am going to forget? I just shrugged it off time would tell.

I was getting changed when I heard a loud, '_God damn it!', _ followed by a chuckle coming from a few floors down. It sounded like Bella and Edward so I listened in to make sure everything was ok.

"_Love it will be alright. Here let me help." _My brows shot up to my hairline. Wonder what he is helping with?

"_How long am I going to have to have you help me get dressed I mean really? This is ridiculous. Three shirts! Three Edward." _Now it was my turn to laugh. She was having an issue with her newborn strength and getting dressed. Been there, done that, funny as hell!

"What are you laughing at?" Carlisle asks as he came out of the closest dressed in blue cargo pants and tight baby blue t-shirt. Was he trying to get Marcus to kidnap him, seriously, he looked fuck hot! "See something you like?" He chuckled at me knowing full well what he was doing. I cleared my throat and narrowed my eyes as I took in the smirk on his face.

"Oh shut it, you know I do. I was laughing because it appears that Bella is having some issues dressing with her newborn strength." I informed him. A knowing look crossed his face as he crossed the room and sat on the bed pulling on his socks and hiking boots.

"I remember having issues with that, fortunately I didn't have anyone around to remember when I did something stupid to rub in my face later." I had to scoff at that. I had people around me then , it was just most of them were dead, by my hand no less. Carlisle stood from the end of the bed and came up to me wrapping me in a hug.

"I am sure I could get some good stories out of Peter and Charlotte about you." He kissed my neck making me shiver.

"What you and Peter best friends now?" I couldn't help the moan as his tongue snaked out and licked up my throat and around my jaw.

"He's growing on me." His mouth found mine in a searing almost desperate kiss. I moaned into his mouth. I could feel his unease and discontent with the situation grow. I wanted nothing more then to skip this whole thing and have him toss me on the bed and make love to me for hours. Just as I pulled away to suggest it Alice's voice filtered through the house.

"Everyone hurry we need to get to the clearing." Alice's voice was tight with the tension that was pulsing all around us. Carlisle sighed and rested his forehead on mine pulling me even tighter to him.

"Jasper," He strained out, "please, please remember that I love you. No matter what happens or what is said I love you." I squeezed him tighter hearing the broken pleas that were tugging on my heart in a painful way.

"I will Car, and if I forget you have my permission to do what ever you need to do to remind me." I choked out trying to lighten the mood but not really succeeding.

"I'll hold you to it." With that he pulled away and took my hand. "Come on we need to go." I nodded as we bolted out the door and down to where the rest of the family was waiting.

When we got to the porch the tension mounted even more before Alice broke through it.

"Alright here is a run down real quick. Everyone needs to keep their damn mouths shut except for Alice, Peter, or me." Carlisle relayed quickly. Everyone looked shocked at the idea of Peter having permission to speak.

"What fuckers? I can be diplomatic when I need to be!" Peter spat out. I snorted as he protested. But I knew from experience that the moron doesn't have a diplomatic bone in his body.

"Enough, this is no time for joking around we need to get our heads in this." Carlisle chastised everyone slipping effectively into his role. "Now everyone will listen to what Alice said. You will not be speaking unless she or I tell you otherwise. Also, Edward; I want you to keep close tract of their thoughts if something changes you need to let me know as discreetly as possible." We all nodded in agreement.

"Ok, let's move out. When we get there I want us all in a line spread about 5 feet from each other. No touching mates I don't want to give anything away until we have too. I am sure Aro will ask to touch one of us. Alice will be the one to do that unless I give permission otherwise." Well I didn't like that one bit but the very pointed look I got from Alice told me to keep my mouth shut, so I did. We turned and made our way into the woods.

"We should have about ten minutes to settle in before they arrive at the clearing." Alice informed as each couple stayed together savoring the last moments they would have together for who knows how long.

Carlisle took my hand as we were the last to leave the porch and dart into the woods. We made it to the clearing and stopped just before the trees broke.

"We should say good bye here. We will be making a quick departure once they agree to our solution." Alice spoke sadly. I couldn't believe this was happening. What would we do with out her? I don't mean her gift, screw that, what would we do with out our little sister, our shopaholic, the annoying ball of energy? Everyone made their rounds hugging her and saying what they wanted to say. Finally she stepped up to me and I cracked.

"Alice," I pleaded, "please you don't have to do this we can…" She cut me off before I could finish my thought.

"This is the way it has to be. Just remember what I told you. I love you and everything will work out." She threw her arms around me and held on for dear life. I closed my eyes and took in her scent as I rested my chin on her head.

"I love you so much. I owe you so much. If I live until the end of time I will never be able to repay you for everything you have given me." It was true, if Alice hadn't found me, I shudder even thinking about where I would be now.

"I love you to Jas, and it will be worth it. Please, trust in that." She pulled away and gave me a weak smile.

"We better head into the clearing. Remember five feet between each of us. Jasper and me in the center, Alice next to Jasper, Charlotte and Rose next to her and Peter next to Rose on the right end. On my other side Edward next to me then Bella and Emmett on the left end. Does everyone understand?" We all nodded, "Let's move out then." Ok so maybe this wasn't the time but Carlisle taking control was hot as fuck. I shook my head and tried to focus on the task at hand, getting everyone out alive.

"Oh, and remember keep your fucking mouths shut!" Carlisle commanded. God it was hot when he cussed. With that last admonishment we stepped into the clearing and waited.

It felt like an eternity as we stood there watching the tree line on the other side of the tiny clearing. Once they entered it there would only be about fifteen feet separating the two sides. Not enough distance for my liking but not really anything we could do about it.

The tension grew with every passing minute that ticked by but we remained stock still. No nervous twitches, no fidgeting, just focused on the task at hand. Survive.

The first to break through the tree line were Demitri, Felix, Alec, and Jane. I heard Alice take a sharp breath but didn't take my eyes of my targets. Next to break through behind the guards was Aro, Reneta (Aro's personal shield.), Marcus, and Heidi. Of all the guards that made me nervous it was her. I didn't fear the pain of Jane, or the loss of senses of Alec. Demitri could track my ass from here to Tim-Buck-Two for all I care. But Heidi, she could cut my ties with Carlisle and my family and that was my biggest fear of all, losing them.

As they settled into a similar formation around us. Aro broke through the silence.

"Carlisle, my dear old friend. How are you? It has been much too long." His shrill voice cut through the clearing like nails on a chalkboard.

"We would be better if not forced to be meeting under these circumstances. I fear you have been misled." He informed them. Where is Caius?" He threw in as an after thought. It was weird that two of the brothers where here and not the other. Aro sighed before answering.

" He decided to stay at the castle." Was his short answer, "You have much changed from the man we met centuries ago. Very interesting if I must say. But I digress, you are correct the circumstances are grievous but I fail to see where the deception lies. We were informed you had a human among you, as part of your family. I can still smell them faintly. What do you say to this?" I was glad we weren't wasting time with pleasantries maybe we could get over this quickly.

"My son Edward;" He gestured to Edward next to him, "his mate was human when he met her. She discovered us on her own, none in my family broke the law. She has since been turned as was always the plan. So you see I am sorry you wasted the trip." Aro narrowed his eyes taking in each of us until his eyes rested on Bella. Edward stiffened as he whispered to Carlisle.

"_He wants to read her." _He said so low that no one else would have heard him.

"She is magnificent for a newborn, very controlled, intriguing, I wonder if you would allow me to read her?" Carlisle pondered for a minute before shooting a glance at Alice who nodded minutely.

"You may." Aro broke from the line with Reneta on his trail before coming to stand in front of Bella; who stepped back as he invaded her personal space.

"I will not hurt you child, just give me your hand." Bella looked at Carlisle who nodded. She hadn't been told much other then that Alice was going to be leaving but I was confused as to why Carlisle would risk Aro finding this out so soon into the confrontation. Aro took her hand with a sickening sweet smile on his face.

My question was soon answered as Aro's smile faded and became annoyed.

"Interesting. I can not read her." He narrowed his eyes before stepping back. "Do any of the other's powers work on you?" He asked her. She again looked to Carlisle who nodded again. Her shield must have carried over that was good it wouldn't give our hand away so soon. I wonder how powerful that will be? I wish we would have had time to pursue that before we had to be here.

"Edward can not read me either. As far as I am aware all others work." She stated simply. I could feel her fear at the situation but she did not show it, for that I was proud of her. Aro can be intimidating to say the least. If he were human I would imagine he would probably classified as a bit insane. Aro nodded before making his way back to their side of the clearing.

"Would you mind a little….test?" Edward hisses at whatever Aro has in mind.

"No," He went to answer, but was interrupted before he could get it out.

"I don't mind." Bella informs Aro and Edward shots her a glare which she returns. Aro claps like a child who just got a pony and motions for Jane to step forward.

"Wonderful, Jane; if you would please." Our entire line stiffens and Edward crouches ready to pounce as Jane smiles sweetly.

"This may hurt just a little." Her eyes narrow at Bella as she looks to be in deep concentration. Nothing happens as moments pass, "Master?" Is all she says and Aro starts bouncing a bit clapping again.

"Oh, that is just marvelous. Bella dear you seem to me impervious to Jane's gift. No one has ever been able to deter her. Tell me would you be interested in joining my guard? We could teach you how to use your shield, and how to hunt like a real vampire." He said in disgust taking a dig at our lifestyle. Bella just shook her head before answering.

"No thank you. I am happy with my family and I would like to stay with them." She informs him and his face falls. I see Marcus lean over and grab Aro telling him through his mind what he wants him to know. I see Marcus looking Carlisle up and down. I can feel his lust and desire and I start to growl.

"Jasper, stop it." Carlisle scolds me.

"Sorry." I try to not let it bother me but the amount of lust he is throwing at my mate is really getting to me. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

"We do still have another matter to address. You failed to inform us of a very real threat to our existence and that must be dealt with." Aro stated once he was done with Marcus.

"What threat would that be?" Carlisle feigns ignorant.

"Please Carlisle, don't play dumb, it demeans us all." He tells Carlisle, "I am talking about the werewolves you failed to inform us had resurfaced again. You know how much of a threat they are and how closely we came to losing it all last time we faced the Children of the Moon." Aro was cold as he spoke of the werewolves. I knew that they had a long history of violence with them and as far as they were aware they had been extinct for centuries.

"You have once again been misinformed. The Quileute tribe are shape shifters, who happen to take the form of wolves, they are not Children of the Moon. There one sole purpose is to protect their people, like you." Nice throw that out there. Compare the two Aro will love that, let's egg on the insane man with an army!

"I see. It matters not. The fact remains that there is a species out there that can cause us harm. We can not allow that to go unpunished." Marcus smiles at that and I glare at him.

"Oh and what do you deem to be a proper punishment for this supposed transgression?" Peter asks. Diplomatic my ass! I shot daggers at him and he just smiles and shrugs.

Aro and Marcus lean close and whisper for a few minutes nodding on occasion. Edward is hissing off and on and I can tell he is not thrilled with the way their conversation is going. The rest of the guard are just staring at us but as they have the entire time remain stock still. I look at Alice and try to follow her line of sight but her head is darting in multiple directions and I can't get a bead on anything she is thinking.

After their deliberations Aro and Marcus turn back to us.

"It has been decided since the leader is the one who failed to inform us of this threat he is the one who will receive the punishment. You all know Marcus can read relationships, well he has just informed me that Carlisle is his one true mate." I growl again and am about to interject when Charlotte speaks up;

"Lie! You have read no such thing." Peter growls at her but she ignores him.

"How would you know that?" Marcus spits out.

"You and your guard aren't the only gifted ones. I can tell when people are telling a falsehood." Gasps are heard from both sides of the line. I knew she had this gift, as did Peter, but I am not sure who else did.

"That is neither here nor there, the decision has been made, either Carlisle comes with is or we will dispatch you all." Marcus informs us not giving Aro a chance to speak, which I can tell annoys him.

"I have an alternative for you." Alice pipes up.

"We are not interested in your…..alternative. We want Carlisle." Marcus answers before Aro can much to Aro's annoyance.

"Well you can't have him, he is mine!" Screw this I was staking my claim I didn't care how much trouble it got me in.

"That matters not…." Marcus counters but Aro steps in.

"Brother," he hisses, "let's hear what the future seer has to say." He tells him. "Please what do you propose?" He is genuinely curious at this.

"Peter Charlotte and I will join you." What the fuck is she talking about? That is not what we agreed on! "I know you have wanted my gift for some time and I will come willingly, along with them, as long as you let our family leave in peace." She informs them. I can feel the delight coming off Aro at this but he doesn't want to give in to quickly. What is she playing at? No way are Peter and Charlotte going to join them.

"I don't know. I mean yes your gift is extraordinary, but if I wanted I could just fight and take any I want." He seems to weigh his options.

"No Aro, Carlisle will come with us. He is mine you promised!" Marcus gritted out through his teeth.

"I am not yours. Even if you make me go with you I will never be yours." Carlisle informs them.

"You could fight but you would lose people on both sides. I don't know that you are willing to sacrifice any of the guard you have with you. I also am not the only one with a gift. Peter, well he knows shit, and Charlotte, as you are now aware, can sense when people are lying." This couldn't be happening! They couldn't do this to me, not when I finally got them all back! Both of my families were finally together, it was bad enough to lose Alice but Peter and Char too, that I couldn't handle.

"We are willing to come with you as long as you leave the family and the shifters alone. They mean you no harm unless you attack fist." Peter confirmed what Alice had just stated and I lost it.

"WHAT THE HELL! YOU CAN'T ALL DO THIS I WON'T LET YOU!" I moved from my position and started getting into Peters face. "BOTH MY FAMILY'S ARE FINALLY TOGETHER AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN." I was aware that I was disobeying Carlisle but I could care less.

"Jasper calm down. This is how it has to be." Peter told me. But I was out of control I was slowly starting to lose it. I turned my attention to the demons in front of me dead set on ripping everything I hold dear from me.

"How it has to be, are you fucking kidding me! Everyone keeps saying that. Don't I have a choice in this? How can you all leave me?" I shouted out to no one in particular.

"Jasper get back in formation NOW!" Carlisle yelled to me, but I barely heard him and turned my rage on a new target.

"You arrogant bastards," I screamed out as I made my way across the clearing to where the assholes were standing waiting to take everything I held dear away from me.

"CARLISLE, STOP HIM!" I heard someone scream before I was tackled to the ground. I was thrashing trying to get away from my captor and protect my family.

"JASPER, STOP IT!" He yelled at me. But I was too far gone. I was snapping trying to get a hold of something to give me an edge. I wasn't rational enough to use my skills to help me, I was in a haze. "This was part of the plan." What did he just say? My breath was coming out in pants and I was vaguely aware of talking around me.

"I think you three would make excellent additions to our family." I scoffed at that family my ass. I had a family, well I did until they all fucking lied to me and decided to leave me. With that thought I started fighting again.

"Family you don't know the first thing about family!" I screeched, kicking clawing and snapping, "If you did you wouldn't take mine away!" The rage was building.

"Alice, I'm sorry. Go! I got him, just go!" I couldn't believe he was letting them all leave like this. Why wasn't he fighting for us!

"No! Don't let them leave, Car please, please! Don't let them take my family!" I whimpered out.

"We love you all. Please remember it will work out." Alice said as her, Charlotte, and Peter made their way across the clearing. I could see the smug smile on Aro's face as they joined him and I started thrashing again.

"NO, STOP THEM, CAR YOU CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" He held me tighter.

"Jasper, it's the only way. We would lose too many if we fought." I was looking at the retreating backs of my family.

"YOU CAN'T KNOW THAT! YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT. You don't know the first thing about being a leader! How could you just give up!" I could see each time I fought him or spoke harshly to him I was hurting him but I couldn't stop. This was his fault. What kind of leader gives up so easily.

"Jasper," Rose was there next to me, "it was their choice. They choose to go to save us all, to save this family." She spoke softly trying to sooth me.

"What family. No one even tried!" She looked heartbroken I turned back to Car who still had me pinned under him, "You, what kind of leader just gives up so easily? You didn't even try to reason with them you just let them go!" If he didn't fight for them what's to say he would fight for me. "If you didn't fight for them, why would I believe that you would ever fight for me!" I tried to get free again. I knew in the logical part of my brain that he had already indeed fought for me. But I couldn't grasp that right now.

"Jasper, I would lay down my life for you…." He started but I wouldn't listen. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't believe what was happening. I had no control. I was lost in the red haze of rage.

"You are a fucking coward!" I seethed looking up from my position on the ground.

"Jasper you have to calm down." He was trying to remain calm but I could tell he was loosing it too. I didn't care though.

"It's your fault! You destroyed us!" With one mighty shove I pushed him off me and ran for it. I glanced back briefly and nearly stopped when I saw the despair marring his beautiful face but I couldn't. It was all his fault.

I don't know how long I ran for, I just kept going. I didn't even notice that someone was on my trial until I stopped at a little lake. I sat on the shore and looked out. Carlisle, as I recognized his scent, kept his distance. I assumed it was to give me time to think.

I had come to terms with Alice leaving. I didn't like it but I accepted it. But Peter and Charlotte, why wasn't I told about that? I lost two sisters and a brother in one day and I couldn't help but blame one man.

How could he let our family be torn apart? I know in my heart that he did what he had to do to keep us all alive, but my head and the part of me that was a fighter, couldn't agree. The deception was another thing that seemed to eat at me. Why the fuck couldn't they tell me that part of the damned plan? True I may not have gone with it as easily as I did with just Alice. Losing one sibling was hard enough to endure, but maybe they knew I would have done something rash. Fuck! I was never going to get the answers I needed on my own. But I wasn't sure that I was ready to talk to him yet.

He was sitting about twenty feet to the left of me, perched on a rock, just watching me.

"Why?" Was the only thing I could utter. He made no move to get closer which I was thankful for.

"If we had told you, you would have tried to attack Aro and in the end died for it. I would not, could not, lose you like that. As it was, it was touch and go whether or not I was going to be able to stop you before you got to him." Ok that made sense. But why couldn't we have fought?

"Why couldn't we have stood up to them? Fought them?" I hissed at him. My rage was building again, "You gave up so easily!" I stood and faced him still keeping our distance.

"Easy, you think it was easy to watch my daughter walk away knowing what she was going to be forced to do? You think it was easy knowing that Peter and Char were going to be leaving also, and knowing how much that was going to crush you? Nothing about what I did was easy." He was trying to stay calm but I could tell he was getting angry also. He didn't like being questioned. Well to fucking bad!

"What you did? You _did _nothing! You just stood there and let them sacrifice themselves." Before I could blink he was on me pinning me to the rock on the other side of me.

"You have no idea what it did to me to just stand there and do nothing!" He seethed through clinched teeth. "It was Alice who told me that was what I had to do!" He dropped me and stepped away with a pained look on his face, "if I didn't, not only would you have died, along with Emmett, Bella, and Peter, but we all would have been taken to Volterra. I would have been forced to be Marcus's mate, the others would have been forced to fight and we would never get away. This way in a few years they will be able to get free and Alice will have her mate." I could hear the despair and anguish in him. I knew he was upset at losing a part of the family. But I wasn't ready to forgive him yet.

"How can I trust you after you kept something so essential from me?" That hurt almost as much as losing my family. Then it hit me, "You are just like him." I knew it was low but James had always taken the decision from me and I hated that.

"Jasper sometimes being the leader means we have to make decisions that aren't easy. Sometimes we have to separate the certain parts of ourselves to make the hard choices that keep everyone safe and alive. I had to think as the coven leader, what was best for all of us, not as the mate. If I had thought of as the mate I would have fought…."He looked up at me with utter devastation in his face, "and if I had fought I would have lost you. That was not something I was willing to do." I was at a loss of what to do.

I know he loves me and I couldn't bare to lose him either but I was having a very difficult time reconciling both sides of my head and heart. I told him once I refused to be in a one-sided relationship and he just proved to me that, in part, that's what this was. But he also told me that as the leader he would always do whatever was required to keep us all safe. Damn it!

I knew his motives were different then James' were when he would lie to me but I still hate that he did it.

"You lied to me." I stated simply. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair and went to sit on the shore where I had been previously. I did not join him yet.

"I know, and for that I will be eternally sorry. It was however a necessary evil, I could not let the alternative happen, even if it means you hate me forever." The last part was said just above a whisper. "At least if you hated me you would still be alive and that thought alone was enough for me to go along with it." I scrubbed my hands over my face still having a hard time collecting my thoughts.

"Do you really think I'm like him?" He asked sounding broken. I went and sat next to him.

"No, but I still don't like that you lied to me. You know I have trust issues and I don't know how I will trust you knowing that you willingly kept something from me. Even if it was for my own good, the fact remains that you still lied to me." I didn't know what it would take to earn that trust back. At least with the speed my vampire mind was able to process stuff, I was able to understand why they all did it.

The longer we sat there, the weight of my loss started hitting me. I felt Carlisle snake his arm around my waist and pull me to him. I hadn't even realized I was shaking with sobs until then.

"I'm so sorry Jasper, if there had been any other way I….." I wrapped my arms around him and just let him hold me as the pain took over.

"Why does everything hurt so bad?" I was dry sobbing into his shoulder as he just held me tighter.

"I know it hurts, we all lost today. But we will get through it together. We will be strong for each other until the rest of the family is back where they belong, with us." He kissed my forehead as we sat in silence just dealing with what happened today.

* * *

It's been a week since the confrontation in the clearing and things at home were strained to say the least. We haven't heard a thing from Alice, Peter, or Charlotte. Not that we were expecting to but it would have been nice. I was so worried about them.

Carlisle and I were strained also. He was walking on egg shells around me. He tried to hide it but I could tell, in fact the entire family seemed to be skirting around me. I guess maybe I have been a bit short with them. I hadn't even been in the same room as him for more then a few minutes at a time since that day.

I wanted so bad to go to him, to let him comfort me, but I was letting the bitterness take hold and I couldn't see how to stop it. I was desperate for a connection to him but didn't know how to go about getting it. My pride and pain were preventing from going to the one person I knew could help me though it all.

I was in our room reading when Emmett came crashing in.

"Come on fucker enough wallowing, we are going hunting." He grabbed my book from my hands and I noticed Edward in the door way. I guess maybe this was an intervention of sorts. Edward just nodded and I rolled my eyes getting up to follow them out of the house.

"Where is Carlisle?" I was curious if he would be going with us.

"He and the girls are spending sometime together, don't worry about it fucker, let's go eat!" We were out the door and into the tracking our choice meal in a matter of minutes.

Once I took down a bear and was in pursuit of another as I ran after it I wasn't keeping track of where I was going, before I knew where I was I came to a halt. I looked around and notice I had stopped in the small clearing my life had fallen apart in a week prior.

All the emotions I had been bottling up since I let lose at the lake burst forth and I crumpled to my knees under the weight of my loss. I didn't even notice I wasn't alone anymore until I felt two separate sets of arms around me.

"Aww, Jas, we miss them too." Emmett was shaking with his quite sobs.

"I can't believe it's only been a week." Edward replied sadly.

"I feel like I can't hold on to anything. I fought, and waited so long for Carlisle and just when happiness is right there mother fucking fate yanks it away." I was starting to get pissed again. They dropped their arms from around me but stayed next to me on the ground

"Jasper, we understand. I had to wait almost a hundred years for Bella, and now that she is finally part of the family, I lose a sister. You're not alone in this." He was right. While he didn't have to watch his mate with another, he did have to wait and was the only one around without his love, or so he thought. He didn't know that Alice and I were in the same boat. Maybe we should have told him, maybe it would have helped all three of us.

"It doesn't matter now that you didn't. What's done is done we can't change it, we just have to move forward and I am sure that us all wallowing and you ignoring Carlisle wasn't what Alice or Peter and Char had in mind when the made the sacrifice." Well shit now I just feel guilty.

"Jas, Edward didn't say that to make you feel guilty. We are all in the same position we all need to move forward and continue to live our lives. We are still going to go on with our plans once Bella is able to be around people again, we are going to school. We are not going to let their sacrifice for us be in vain." Wow, Emmett that was surprisingly deep.

"I know you're right. I just feel, on top of losing my family, I also feel like I was betrayed. Everyone lied to me about what was going to happen." I told them honestly glad that we were able to talk about it. Maybe they could help me deal with my distrust.

"I can feel that, I mean your mate is suppose to tell you everything, well in our idea of what a mate is…" He was right our family did everything unique, even mating, most dominates wouldn't feel the need to discuss anything with their mate, we are all very open and honest with ours, at least we were, "but your situation is a little different. I mean not only does Car have to be your mate but he also has to be the leader. That can't be easy." I know he is right. He has so many more things to consider then just me and I would have to come to terms with sometimes being considered second.

"No Jasper don't think that, it is not what Emmett meant." Emmett looked over at him confused.

"He thinks that because Car is the leader that sometimes he is going to have to be put second next to family decisions." Emmett actually growled at this.

"Jasper that is not what I meant! Carlisle was thinking about you when he made the choice not to tell you. He chose to let go of three family members then to risk you being killed!" Emmett sounded frustrated that I hadn't thought of this myself and I admit that I am annoyed with myself also. I automatically thought that he took the easy way out by not fighting but in reality he had chosen me over anyone else. He did what he had to do to keep his family and ME safe.

"God you guys are right. Everything he has done has been with me in mind. Shit I am such a moron!" I shot up I had to find Carlisle.

"Go get your man." Emmett yelled after me laughing. He didn't have to tell me twice.

I ran faster then I had ran in a long time and made it back to the house in record speed crashing through the front door.

"CARLISLE!" I yelled to the silent house. I started searching through the rooms not even taking the time to stop and see if I could smell where he was. "CARLISLE!" I cried again. I felt his presence before I saw him.

"Jasper, what's wrong, who do I need kill?" I furrowed my brow, what?

"What? Kill what are you talking about?" I was so confused.

"It looks like something is wrong or that someone was chasing you. If someone has hurt you or is after you the only question is who do I have to kill?" How sweet is that. But I realized he has already killed for me, and sacrificed more then I knew possible. I ran to him and flung my arms around his neck burying my face in his shoulder.

"No one is after me, but something is wrong." I paused to get thoughts about me and took comfort in his scent for the first time in a week. God I missed him.

"Then what's wrong beautiful? Tell me." He gently prodded.

"Can we go upstairs and talk?" I asked. I wanted to get more comfortable and if this talk went how I wanted it too then we would be better off. He pulled back and kissed my forehead.

"Of course. Let's go." He pulled my hand and led me up stairs to our room. Once there he went to sit in his chair that had been moved up next to mine in the corner. Instead of going to mine I made my way to him and crawled into his lap. He seemed shocked by this but instantly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest. We both just sat there for a bit getting reacquainted with each other's presence.

"Carlisle, I need to tell you that I am sorry." He went to say something but I stopped him, "No I need to get this out Car, please let me?" He pulled my face to his and kissed me chastely on the lips. Once he pulled away he just nodded at me to continue. "I didn't take the time the last few days to realize how difficult this was for you. I thought you took the easy way out, not taking what I wanted into consideration and just letting our family fall apart." I paused briefly before I went on;

"I finally, after a talk with some very annoying brothers, realized that you were only trying to do what you had to do to keep me alive. I thought at first that you didn't trust me because you didn't tell me, but I now understand why you did it. You chose the only option that allowed us to stay together. I am so sorry I blamed you for everything. I'm sorry I pushed you away these last few days. Please tell me you forgive me?" I was dry sobbing again. Damn I am so the chick!

"Jasper look at me baby," he put his finger under my chin and pulled to eye level with him, "I am sorry I didn't tell you, but I don't regret it. If I had lost you, I would have lost my world, my soul, my heart, because they are all wrapped up in you. I had to make the hardest decision that any leader ever has to make. I had to choose, and I chose you, and will always choose you. I love you more then words can ever express." I instantly crashed my lips into his pillaging his sweet mouth like a thief stealing the most precious of treasures. He moaned into my lips and I took the opportunity to sneak my tongue into his sweet cavern.

"God I have missed you. I am sorry I forgot." I told him. I had finally clicked when I was talking to the guys that this was what Alice had been trying to tell me, trying to remind me not to forget. He would do anything for me, even if it meant hurting himself or the family. The kiss quickly turned into a make-out session. God I missed his mouth, and his taste. He was the best flavor known to man.

"Carlisle, make love to me, please I need you." I need him so bad I needed him to remind me physically of his love for me.

"I have been waiting for you to say that for a week." With that he moved off the chair taking me with him. He laid me on the bed and hovered over me peppering my face and neck with sweet kisses and licks.

"Jasper, I want to show you how much I am willing to give you, I want you to take me." I froze as he whispered in my ear. He moved so I could see his face and saw nothing but love, trust, and acceptance in his gaze. I was drunk with the weight of what he was asking. He was giving over his control. That was huge and I felt my love for him grow even more.

"Ok, if it gets too much for you please stop. I know what this means, you giving up control, I won't take that for granted." This gift was amazing and not something I really ever thought he would do. He moved off me and lay next to where I was on his side. I rolled over so I was facing him.

"I know you won't babe, I just want you to know that I love you more then anything in this world and I trust you with my life and body." I felt him send me his love and trust as well as a large dose of lust and that was all it took. I attacked his mouth with mine pushing him onto his back and my chest pressed against his.

We still had all our cloths on and already my cock was harder then it had ever been. Shit I wasn't going to last long. I had to get him naked and now! I moved off him and sat back on my heels pulling him to sit up. I made quick work of his shirt pulling it over his head. I sat back just taking in the sight of his magnificent chest and torso.

"See something you like?" He asked the same question he had a week ago in the closet and the answer was still the same, hell yes! I couldn't help licking my lips in anticipation when his chucking snapped me back to attention. I growled and pounced on him straddling his hips.

"You know I do." I answered him as I drug my tongue over the column of his throat pausing to suck on his adam's-apple.

"Oh shit, I missed your mouth on me," He moaned out as I swirled my tongue around the dip between his collar bones.

"I missed your taste, nothing is better." I told him as I made my way down to his hardened nipples sucking, nipping and teasing each into dusty rose peaks the looked amazing next to his snow white skin.

"Oh fuck, too long." He groaned out and thrust his hips up and I could feel his very prominent erection hitting my ass. Humm, I want that in my mouth.

"I want to suck you." I whispered in his ear taking the lobe into my mouth and sucking hard.

"Shit, please, Jasper…" He was wiggling around trying to get some friction and I didn't have the heart to torture him, or myself for long. I kissed my way back down his neck and chest making sure to lick each well defined muscle of his abdomen I could find. I dipped my tongue into his belly button making him cry out and god damn was that sexy as fuck.

"Damn it Jasper," he was already panting. I guess he missed this as much as I did. I continued my descent dragging my mouth over the amazing V on his hips causing him to buck up in frustration.

"Patience love, I want to savor this." I admonished him but smiled, "So eager." I popped the buttons on his button fly jeans, God I love those fuckers, and groaned when I saw his cock peaking out, just begging me to release him. Commando, thank fuck! With one swift motion I had his pants off and across the room.

"Now who's the eager one?" I didn't respond just sat and took in my lover laying before me in all his glory. His cock was thick and long and leaking pre-cum like a sieve and I had to have it. Without any ado at all I flicked my tongue over the head of his dick savoring him like a vintage wine.

"Fucker, shit…." He must be sensitive from lack of contact. I smirked evilly before rolling my tongue around the head. His hand flew too my hair as he bucked again. I put my forearm across his hips to hold him in place. If I was getting control I was going to enjoy it, damn it.

"Baby you need to calm down, I am going to take my time and enjoy this, now relax." I told him right before I took him in my mouth and closed my lips around the purple head throbbing with his need.

"Oh Christ, baby so good." I worked his shaft, taking him down my throat, swallowing around him, scraping my teeth on the way back up, and swirling my tongue around the head, before dipping it in the slit. I repeated this over and over and my free hand moved to fondle his balls. I hummed around him on occasion, loving the sounds he was making as I caused him to come un-glued.

I moved my hand from his balls and made my way down to the magic sport between his tight virgin hole and sac. I lightly press not wanting him to come yet but wanting to give him more stimulation. As I press lightly his back arches off the bed.

"FUCK! That's amazing!" He cries out. I press again and he starts trying to buck his hips into my mouth again. I bite very lightly, but enough to not be pleasurable, to let him know to control himself. "Sorry baby, it's just too much, but not even close to enough!" He breathes out and smirk. I move my mouth from his throbbing cock and take his balls in my mouth rolling and sucking each one.

"I love how you feel in my mouth." I tell him as I release him again and work my way further down. Replacing my fingers with my tongue on his perineum.

"Oh, god baby….so….uhh…good." I was hoping that this would feel as good for him as it did for me. Never with any of my previous bed mates have I tried what I am about to. I moved my tongue lower tentatively circling around his tight hole once too see what his reaction would be.

"OH GOD DAMN!" He screamed out so I did it again, "fuck…fuckkkkk…." he was starting to get to the point of incoherent and I loved it. I circled a few more times before I slowly poked my tongue through the tight ring of muscles. I felt him stiffen briefly before relaxing again but his breathing was labored.

"You ok baby?" I asked him running my hands over his abs and up to tease his nipples more.

"Yy…yes…umm…I'm good. It was just unexpected, but good." I looked at his hooded eyes and saw the desire there so I nodded and went back to work burying my face in his ass. This time when my tongue penetrated he was expecting it and didn't stiffen. God he tasted amazing. It was like pure concentrated Carlisle right from the fucking source. I couldn't get enough as I continued to tongue fuck him. His body's response to me was like the best drug. I love every whimper every, every moan, and groan. I loved everything about him.

I remove him from my mouth after a few more licks, and his whimper is almost pathetic at the loss of contact, but keep pressure on his magic spot as I lean over to retrieve the lube from the bedside table. Once I have the item in my hands I remove my other hand and slowly kiss my way back up his body making sure to stop and give rapt attention to each of his now extremely sensitive nipples.

I go to remove my pants but am stopped. I look at him in confusion.

"I want to do that." He states simply as he moves my hand away and makes quick work of the button and zipper. He pushes them as far off my hips as he can and I kick them the rest of the way. He immediately takes my painfully hard cock in his hand and starts pumping me slowly.

"Shhhitttt….." I hiss out. I didn't even realize how hard I was until now. I can barely concentrate on my task but some how find the will to focus as he works me into a heaping mess.

"Remember, if it get's too much tell me and we will stop." I remind him as I pop the top on the container and generously coat my fingers with the lube I remembered was there. I close the cap and place it on the bed next to him for further use later. I am surprised when he grabs it and pours some in his hand. Did he change his mind? As if reading my thoughts he pulls me into a kiss sucking my tongue into his mouth and swirling his around it.

"No, I still want you to fuck me. I just figure I could help get you ready for the task." He informs me when he relinquishes my mouth and grabs my erection in his now slick hand.

"AHHH…..shit!" Damn that was good shit. I can't wait till I am balls deep in him. I get lost in the sensation for a few minutes until he pulls me back.

"Well get on with it, I can't wait to have your hard cock in my ass and it's not getting any closer with you just sitting there." I narrow my eyes at him and he just squeezes my aching hard-on. Needing no further incentive I trace my slippery fingers up and down his crack before sliding into the hidden depths that lay beyond. I press lightly against his hole with out entering him yet. I want him to get used to the idea of me being there first.

He pauses his ministrations on my cock briefly but quickly picks the pace back up. I take that as my cue and pop my ringer finger through his tight virgin hole.

"Damn…..so tight….I can't wait until that's my cock you're squeezing." I sweep my finger around searching for the super magic spot inside and know the second I find it.

"HOLY SHIT!" He screams and I am sure that anyone in a five mile radius heard it.

"Magic button." I say simply and add another finger slowly. I thrust in and out in a steady rhythm using a scissoring action to stretch him further. After a few minutes I push a third finger in and he flinches and stops his movement once again. I wait to give him some time to adjust. Once I feel his muscles relax I start working my way in again. Nothing was spoken and the only thing you could hear were pants as we both worked each other.

Before long I noticed that he was fairly lose around my finger indicating that he was ready and I suddenly got nervous.

"What's wrong baby?" He asked noting the concern on my face.

"I'm nervous. What if you don't like it? What if I can't please you?" The hand that wasn't covered in lube grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.

"You should never be nervous around me, no matter what. First I am aware that it is going to hurt a bit, and I am ok with that. As for pleasing me, I have no doubt in my mind that just being connected to you will give me all the pleasure I need." I smiled at him and moved so I was between his legs and lifted his hips up and place my rock hard cock at his entrance. I leaned over and captured his lips in mine as I slowly pushed my cock into his incredibly tight hole.

I heard him whimper and stopped to give him time to adjust as just the head entered him. I leaned into kiss him softly again. Once he stared to kiss me back again I pushed in further before pulling out a bit and pushing back in.

"Oh, shit, sooo…..ugh…tight." I whispered out breaking the kiss, I wasn't even all the way in and I was already about to come. I kept pushing in and out excruciatingly slow going mere centimeters at a time. His breath was coming out in short busts and I could read the discomfort on his face. "Do you want….fuck…to stop?" Ask panted out. Please say no, please say no, was my inner mantra as he looked to be thinking about it.

"No…no…just push in and get it over with, please." His face screwed up in anticipation of what he had asked. I didn't want to cause him anymore discomfort though so I started to pull back out. Before I could his hands were on my hips and he jerked me forward.

"AHHHHHH! FUCK!" He screamed, but this time it was not from pleasure. I was starting to panic. I know I can't really cause any permanent damage but it can still hurt like a bitch. But fuck he felt good around me.

"Car….uhhh…let me….shit, so tight….let me stop if it hurts." I managed to choke out. He didn't answer but just shook his head and held me in place. I then was hit with an epiphany. Why didn't I think of this before. I reached down between our bodies and grabbed his semi-erect cock in my hand and started pumping him hoping to distract from the pain.

After a few pumps I could feel him start to harden again but didn't dare move, even though it was almost killing me, until he gave me the go ahead. A few more pumps and he was leaking pre-cum again and shifted his hips up slightly.

"Jas, I..I'm ok…you can….shit good….you can move." Oh thank fuck! I kept my movement slow making sure not to hurt him more then he already was and it was taking all my control to do. All I wanted was to pound into him but knew I couldn't.

This was so different from our first time. The first time was so animalistic, so raw, it was claiming. This, this was loving, this was him showing me he would give me anything I ever needed, and God I loved him for it.

I tried to angle and roll my hips so that I hit his prostate and once again knew the instant I found it.

"Oh yes…Jasper, faster….ugh…you can….move…more, need more." I picked up my pace pulling out and thrusting in rolling my hips each time making sure to hit the magic sport every time. My hand moved up and down on his cock like a piston. I needed him to be close.

"Car, baby….so good…fuck your ass is amazing….close…are you close?" I grunted out as I kept my thrust up.

"Yes, yes….Jas, beautiful, so hot….so close.." He trailed off as his hips started meeting mine thrust for thrust. Shit I wasn't going to last much longer. I picked up my motions on his cock and stated to feel his body tense under me.

"Shit….Ja….cumming…" He tensed even more and arched of the bed as he shot his icy cum across my hand and onto his chest, his already tight ass clenched around my cock and I love it cumming hard and fast right after him.

"FUCKKKKK! CARRRRR!" I screamed as his body milked mine for all it was worth. I clasped on to him nuzzling my face into his chest as he stroked my back up and down soothing me. Both of us were panting as we came down from our high. After a few moments I removed my softening cock from its tight sheath as Carlisle groaned under me.

"I'm so sorry baby." I ran my hands up and down his shoulders and arms in comfort.

"Don't apologize. I'm fine. More then fine actually, just a bit sore but a good sore.." I nodded knowing the feeling. I rolled off him and pulled a wet wipe, thank you Alice, from the drawer that house all our "provisions" and took my time cleaning Carlisle of the mess. "Thank you baby, but come over here, I want to hold you." I tossed the wipe in the waste basket and rolled into his side resting my head on his chest.

"Thank you for that. I know what it meant, I truly do and I appreciate it more then you know." I told him and kissed his chest. He was soothingly running his hand through my hair.

"Don't thank me beautiful. I love you and I wanted to give you the very last part of me I was holding on to." With those words I knew that no matter what else happened in the future I would never again doubt what this man was willing to do for me.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." He placed a kiss on the top of my head as we fell into the closest thing vampires can to sleep. Peaceful post coital bliss.

* * *

**A/N:Oh and yes I changed the gifts of two people, Charlotte because she had to have a gift the Volturi would want, and Heidi well I like her better, so that's why I did it! Ok so there you have it, I know you wanted to know Alice's mate but trust me it will be worth the wait, next chapter is going to have a huge surprise! And if you love me enough to review you get a preview! So love me please, damn I'm needy!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Ok this will be the one and only time in this story I will do a chapter that is not Jasper/Carlisle's POV! But it was sort of required. Also no lemon in this chapter. I am thinking about doing some outtakes, I can't tell you much about them right now with out giving away some of the chapter, but read at the bottom and maybe I'll have you vote on which one you want to see first. They won't be super long but would basically be pure smut that would kinda go hand in hand with the story.**

**Also I would like to point out that I am not a professional and neither is my Beta who is awesome, Jaspered01, we do this for the fun of it and get nothing out of it other then the pleasure of writing. That being said on occasion things might slip through, a misspelled word, a sentence that doesn't make sense, whatever. But keep in mind we get paid nothing for doing this, if I was a professional and still had errors then you could point finger and laugh at me, that's fine. But I don't have some high priced publishing company checking and rechecking, and checking again to make sure all the T's are crossed and all the I's are dotted. So please enjoy it, read it, but take it for what it is, fanfiction by an amateur author.**

**Anyway now that I am off my little soapbox here is the chapter enjoy and I will see you at the bottom! **

**Alice POV:**

Walking out of that clearing and away from my family was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Seeing Carlisle fighting with Jasper broke my heart, and if I hadn't seen them making up in a week I would have never agreed to go. Knowing they were going to be alright, and that I was going to get my mate was the only thing that allowed me to turn my back on them. Peter and Charlotte tagging along was just a bonus. I knew they would help me immensely.

Our entire trip back to the airfield in Billings was completely silent. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts of the situation we now found ourselves in. Aro was ecstatic and the smile on his face was seriously starting to skeev me out. Marcus was being ridiculously moody, pouting and brooding. He reminds me of Edward before Bella came along, I do not relish the next however many year with another brooding vampire, shit I had to put up with Edward for almost 60, don't they think I have suffered enough!

Peter and Char are trying to stay positive, mostly for me. They know how difficult this is going to be for me. I know it will be for them also, while they still feed off human, they are more selective in their dietary choices, so this isn't something they are exactly thrilled about.

"How far away is the airfield?" Peter asked to no one in particular.

"We are almost there and should be in the air shortly there after." Aro informed him. The guard had yet to utter a word since the clearing. I would imagine they aren't a very talkative bunch but hopefully I could change that a bit.

About fifteen-minutes later we arrived at a secluded airfield occupied with mostly small planes and the extremely ostentatious Volturi jet. At least we will travel in luxury from now on. We entered the jet and I noticed it was done in reds and gold's and wasn't as tasteless as I imagined it would be. It was plush and would be comfortable for the freaking long ass flight to Italy.

"Everyone can relax, we have a long flight and you three aren't going to try and run are you?" Aro asked as he sat in one of the large reclining chairs Marcus taking the one across from him.

"No sir, we agreed to this, we won't be backing out." I informed him as the tension of the group suddenly left and everyone visibly relaxed. I took a seat next to Peter in one of the rows and Char filed in next to him on the other side. Alec came and sat in the seat across from Peter followed by Felix across from Char and Jane who took the last seat across from me.

My heart would have pounding in my chest having those eyes so close to me, if I had a heart that is. I looked at them taking them in they were even more beautiful then I imagined and that thought alone freaked me out. The three of them stared back at us like they were trying to figure something out.

"Why did you do that?" Alec broke the silence first as the plane started to taxi to the runway.

"Do what?" Char responded. I was confused also obviously they had to know why we did it. We were protecting our family.

"Give up your freedom for someone in your coven? That's stupid, why did would you have cared if they ended up taking Carlisle or any other in your group?" Felix asked sounding incredibly perplexed. I guess maybe they don't know what a family is. Jane hadn't spoken yet she was just watching us, more specifically me, with intense eyes.

"Well, we aren't just a coven. Carlisle is my father in everyway that matters. He saved us, showed us another way to live, he is the most amazing and compassionate man in the world, so if I have to give up a bit of myself for him to be happy for once in his existence then I will." They seemed to ponder this for a bit and I looked at Jane across from me her brows were creased with deep concentration. She didn't say anything just nodded her head and put ear buds in as they flight took off barreling towards our new and somewhat uncertain future.

The second I had locked onto those blood-red eyes as they entered the clearing, I knew I was looking into my future, and I was completely shocked. Even I didn't see that one coming!

My name is Alice Cullen, I am now a member of the most powerful vampire coven in the world and have fallen, in one split second, irrevocably in love with one of the most powerful members of this evil entity, Jane Volturi. The next few years are going to be a blast, please note the sarcasm.

* * *

Weak. So Weak. I felt like a damn child barely able to lift my head. I thought I could do it but I just couldn't. I couldn't take a life.

We had been in Italy for about a week when the first fishing group came through. The others feed without hesitation. Peter and Char were not thrilled but eventually succumbed to the blood-lust and feed. I couldn't, I ran from the room, from the carnage, back to my room trying to block out the screams of people facing the monsters of their nightmares.

I tried begging the brothers to allow me to run to the forest to feed and keep my alternative lifestyle. I knew they wouldn't but I had to try. They thought our diet showed weakness and refused to cave. It has been several months and I have still not fed and I was growing weaker by the day. I knew eventually Aro would step in. He refused to have a weak guard, and me not feeding had been messing with my visions. Needless to say Aro was not happy.

Jane had been avoiding me, we had yet to have any form of conversation or interaction and that hurt a bit. I know she feels the pull, I feel it, that tugging that tells you that you have found your other half. I wanted to go find her, talk to her, figure out what I could do to make her want me, but I was too weak to move.

I heard the door to my room open and close and smelled the familiar scents of Peter and Char.

"Honey, come on you have to feed." Char prodded but I just shook my head. Even if I wanted too I wasn't sure at this point I had the strength to do it.

"Can't." Was all I managed to get out.

"Thought you might say that, so I brought you something." Peter waved something in front of my nose and I instantly perked up, hummm, that smells yummy. "That's it, let the senses take over, don't think about it just drink." I looked closer and saw a plastic cup and grabbed it from his hands downing it in one swift gulp. As the blood hit my system I instantly felt better, but still not up to my normal strength.

I knew drinking from a plastic cup was not something I was going to be able to do for the indeterminable time we would be here and I was going to have to suck it up, pun intended, and feed like a normal vampire.

"There is a fishing group coming through the castle. They should be here soon. You need more then what you just had, and if you hope to get your mate to talk to you being able to actually talk is going to be helpful." I rolled my eyes at him but got off the couch I had been laying on for God knows how long.

We made our way down to the throne room where the guard had congregated waiting on the next group that would sate our thirst, and I was disgusted with myself that I was one of them.

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence." I heard from somewhere in the hall but couldn't tell who had said it.

"Shut up Demetri, and leave her alone. This is all new to her, let her handle it in her own way." I was shocked as hell to see Jane standing off to the side with her glare fixed on Demetri. He cringed away briefly, obviously knowing what the extent of that glare could do. My eyes met hers briefly and I saw a faint smile cross her lips. I was about to thank her when the doors opened and the brothers entered with flourish. God could they be any more dramatic? Aro took his seat in the center throne as his eyes swept the crowd and fell on me. His face split into a spine tingling smile, yup he still skeeved me out!

"Oh sweet Alice, nice to see you feeling better, and your eyes look lovely tinted red. I can't wait how they look after a full feeding." He clapped his hands together and Marcus made some sniffing sound. "Oh for Christ's sake Marcus will you get over it already!" Aro hissed at him.

"Aro, leave him be. He's lonely and you denied him the chance at a mate." Caius defended halfheartedly. Peter snorted but tried to cover it with a cough when he heard this and the entire room glared at him. Marcus stared him down.

"You have something to say?" Marcus demanded clearly annoyed.

"No sir, I was just remembering something that Carlisle's mate, Jasper told me once, that's all." Oh shit that's a low blow.

"Why you ingrate, I should….." He started moving on toward Peter but was stopped by none other than Aro.

"Enough, both of you. Marcus, you know as well as I do he was not your mate. We can find you another play thing if you so desire. But this has gone on long enough. Now Heidi will be here momentarily so let's relax and enjoy our meal, shall we." Marcus was about to protest something when the amazing smell of blood filled my senses.

I heard Aro welcome the guests to Volterra then screams filled my ears and I let my instincts take complete control. I grabbed the first warm body I could find and sank my teeth into the throbbing pulse point on their neck. My monster hummed in appreciation at finally having the blood it had craved for so long.

Once the body fell limp in my arms and the heartbeat stuttered and stopped I opened my eyes and looked into the lifeless eyes of a young woman as the weight of what I had just done crashed down on me. I dropped the women and bolted from the throne room. I made my way out into a secluded part of the gardens and fell to the ground pulling my knees to my chest. I let the weight of my sacrifice hit me.

Was losing myself worth it? I was starting to doubt my choice for the first time since making it. I never wanted to be a killer. I could feel the despair start to creep in. I was so lost in myself that I didn't notice someone approach until they were next to me. I quickly moved into a crouch prepared to defend myself and notice I moved faster then I normally did, weird.

I heard a giggle and looked at my sudden intruder and relaxed instantly. Jane, and she actually laughed, god I wanted to hear that sound again. It wasn't her normal creepy forced laugh it was an actual amused laugh. I loved it immediately.

"You're faster with the human blood running through your veins now." She stated matter-of-factly and I growled as I felt my shoulders slump the last thing I wanted was to be reminded that I had taken a life. "Damn, I'm sorry, I didn't think. I know this isn't something you want, who does?" She tried to backtrack a bit and I cocked my head to the side looking at her inquisitively. What did she mean, 'Who does?'

"Sorry, I'm not usually so moody. This is just a lot to adjust too and I have never killed before I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around it." I sat back down and was happy that Jane joined me, not touching but close enough that I could feel her.

"It's ok, I understand." We didn't say anything for awhile just sat there enjoying being close to one another. The bond between us was starting to form, I could feel it and it would only continue to grow.

"Alice, can I ask you something?" Jane asked timidly, that was something I never would have thought her to be, timid. She always seems so confidant and sure of herself.

"Anything." I told her, and meant it. She could ask me anything at all. Even if she didn't know it she owned me.

"What's life like out there? You know no one telling you what to do all the time, no fighting, no….pain." I looked over at her and saw for the first time her calm, cool, indifferent façade fall away. I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her. She looked so young lost and broken. I knew she was around my age, maybe a bit younger, but in this moment she looked like a child lost in a storm looking for someone to find her.

"It's…good, really good. To have people who care for you, not what you can do, there is nothing like it. Having a family that chooses to be with you, a family that you would sacrifice anything for, even your own happiness." I told her, because despite my previous inner musing's it was worth it, especially because I knew that before too long I would be back with them all. Jane didn't say anything else for a while just seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. She turned to me eventually and broke her silence.

"May I ask you something else?" She asked barely above a whisper.

"Jane you don't have to ask me every time you want to ask me a question, just ask." I informed her and she nodded.

"Umm, what's going on here?" She gestured between the two of us.

"What do you think is going on?" I really didn't want to tell her everything and scare her off. She frowned slightly and took a deep breath.

"I don't know, you make me…." She stood up and started pacing and I just watched her try and work it out, "you make me want to know what's outside of the walls of the castle, you make me want to know you, I feel this undeniable urge to be with you and get to know you, and it….it scares me." She sat down again on the ground cross-legged across from me so our knees were touching. The bolt that went through me caused me to jump a bit, "See that what is that!" She exclaimed.

"I think we should just spend some time with each other getting to know one another. You know be friends and see what happens." I really didn't want to push her but I also wanted to spend time with her.

"You mean you actually want to spend time with me? You want to get to know me? Why? Aren't you scared of me, everyone beside Alec is terrified of me." She seemed so sad at that and I realized that even though she was surrounded by people she was more alone then I was here. At least I still had Peter and Char.

"No I'm not scared of you, and yes, I honestly want to get to know you. I think there is more to you then just causing pain and following orders. I think you have walls built up and I am willing to wait until you are ready to tell me stuff." I told her. A look of sadness flashed across her face and I wondered what put it there.

"Thank you. That means so much to me. I want to tell you stuff, for some reason I trust you." She looked down again shyly.

"You can tell me anything, nothing you could say would scare me off." She giggled again and I smiled at her.

"That's right, you were married to the God of War for ages." I had to laugh this is true Jasper had done some shit and I never judged him, I would never hold the shit she did when she didn't have a choice against her.

"Well we weren't actually 'together' it was all a ruse. I always knew his mate was Carlisle but he was married to Esme at the time so we had to play it off and bide our time until we could have our true mates." I gave her a much abridged version of the story.

"Oh, wow, so he has his mate now, no thanks to Marcus," she made a gagging sound and I had to laugh, "what about you?" she looked at me through her eye lashes and I almost jumped her then and there.

"I know who mine is I am just waiting for them to be ready." I didn't think she was ready to know that yet. I mean deep in her soul she recognizes me as her mate but her head and heart have yet to catch up.

"Oh will you tell me who it is?" She looked hurt almost but I don't think she knew why yet.

"No, I will tell you eventually but for now let's just not talk about it." She thought about it before nodding.

"I should probably get back Aro mentioned an assignment he needed me to go on." She stood up and started to make her way back to the castle and I took a minute to admire her retreating form and hot as fuck legs that I couldn't wait to lick. "Oh and by the way, I am going to miss the gold eyes on you, I like them better." With that she was gone and I smiled glad that she liked them because I most definitely preferred them, and what they represented.

When I had first realized that my mate was girl I was shocked to say the least. But didn't really have as big of a problem with it as I would have thought. Maybe it was being comfortable with the thought of same sex mates because of Jasper and Carlisle. I don't know. I really never questioned or thought about my sexuality. Hell I'm still a virgin, no, Jasper and I never had sex. It was never anything other then platonic with us, or with anyone for that matter.

I smelled Peter approaching and smiled to myself. He really was like a big brother, and that actually made me miss my family even more. But I was more then grateful he and Char were here with me.

"Hey short stuff, that went well didn't it?" He plopped down next to me using none of his vampire grace.

"It did, I think we are connecting, and I am willing to wait for her to be ready to acknowledge it." I really was ready to wait. I couldn't see how long it would be because she obviously had yet to make a conscious decision about it, but no matter how long I would wait.

"It won't take as long as you think, and we won't be here for as long as you think either. It will fall into place soon." He threw his arms around my shoulder and I leaned into him.

"I am glad I just don't know how long I can stay away from her like that, I have waited so long for my mate and now that she is here all I want to do is make her mine. I don't know how Jasper spent so many years watching Carlisle and Esme together. I didn't appreciate the restraint it must have taken until now." He chuckled at my obvious frustration.

"Come on kid they need us in the throne room." He got up and pulled me with him.

"Peter," I called out to him and he turned to face me, "thank you for everything. I don't know what I would have done without you and Char here." I run and hug him and he pulls me in tight.

"No problem sis, I love you ya know." He placed a kiss on my head before grabbing my hand and pulling me back through the garden to the throne room.

* * *

Jane and several of the guard have been away for several weeks and I was anxious. We had just talked about getting to know one another better and then she has to leave on a mission. I have been keeping tabs on the situation they are in, but it's sort of one of those wait and see what develops.

At this point I can't see the vampire they are watching making a move so Aro has called them all home and they should be arriving in a few hours. To say I was excited to see her would be an understatement. Peter has been sending me looks that make me think he knows some shit I don't, which wouldn't surprise me, bastard.

It still pisses me off that I haven't had any solid visions about us yet. I have had a few where we are kissing, and one where there was more, but she keeps changing her mind. At least this way I know she is thinking about it, she just has yet to decide to act on it fully. I am hoping I can give her a little shove in the right directions.

We are all lined up waiting to welcome the guard back when I see her walk into the room and her eyes instantly find mine. She gives me a barely noticeable smile before she is all business again, and that brief acknowledgement gives me the courage to do what I am about it.

After the 'debriefing' as Aro likes to call them, he really is a moron, he dismisses everyone to their own devices and I take my chance to approach her.

"Hey Jane, how are you?" I asked her trying to sound casual she looked down at her feet and then back up at me shyly.

"Good, I'm glad to be back I hate going out for long periods of time." She told me and I could relate to that. We started walking out of the throne room with no real direction in mind.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" I asked her hoping like hell she would say yes.

"I would like that, would you like to go to the gardens again and walk around, not many people spend time there so we can talk without having to worry about being interrupted." Oh sweet baby Jesus alone time with her hell yes.

"I think that would be great." We exited the castle and made our way to the abandoned gardens.

"Come on I want to show you one of my favorite places." She grabbed my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world and the bolt of electricity flowed through us and settled into a constant humming as our hands stayed connected. It felt natural and I was ecstatic that she made this move first, maybe she wasn't totally repulsed by the idea.

We walked leisurely through the gardens slowly making our way to where she wanted us to be. It was nice to not be rushing and just taking in the sights of the extensive gardens. We were silent when we came to a small waterfall flowing into a little pond that was covered by a curtain of hanging vines. It was quite and private and I could understand why she would like it here. It was serene.

"It's beautiful." I pulled off my shoes and went to sit on the edge of the little pond dipping my feet in the cool waters. Jane giggled behind me and I turned to see her watching me intently. Out here she seemed so carefree and sweet. I love this side of her. This was a side I think only one or two people have really ever seen and I felt privileged that she allowed me to enjoy it. "What's got you laughing?" I smiled at her.

"You, you seem to be doing better here now." She observed and she was right I was doing better now that we were starting on our path.

"I have come to terms with my choices and the ramifications of those choices. I don't like it and I can't wait until I can get home to my family and live the way I choose to, and not the way someone thinks I should. But I have decided to make the most of my time here." She made her way over and to my surprise and delight joined me on the little shore dipping her feet into the crisp water.

"I wish I had a family, or at least one person who missed me when I was gone somewhere. Alec is always with me when we go places so he doesn't have a chance and it's different, he has to love me he's my twin. I wish I had someone miss me who didn't have too." She leaned forward and ran her fingers along the surface of the pond.

"Maybe you do and you just don't realize it?" I found myself leaning closer to her.

"Well if someone out there does I wish they would tell me." She sighed sadly and her loneliness was almost tangible. I wanted to tell her, I really did but I was afraid that I wasn't the person she wanted to miss her so I took the cowards way out and changed the subject.

"Tell me something about you that no one knows." I asked her hoping to break down even more walls. She seemed to ponder that for a moment before turning to look at me.

"I don't enjoy causing people pain with my power. Not only does it cause them pain but to use my power it actually causes me some of the pain also. It's like I don't know my mind has to absorb some of the pain or in order to conjure up the illusion of pain I have to feel it also, I don't know how it works but that's what it is." I audibly gasped at that. What the hell? That sucks major shit. How did she do it, I have never had her power trained on me but I have seen others who have and that shit is no joke!

"How the hell do you never show any of that pain though? Surely Aro must know? If he doesn't you have to tell him, there is no way he can ask you to use your power if it causes you pain also, that's the worst kind of torture!" I was starting to get pissed. She should never feel pain. Instead of getting mad she just shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal.

"Aro does know. He told me once that it was like karma or something for having a gift that inflicts so much pain, he said it was only fair that some of that agony should be experienced by me. He's right and I am used to it so I can pretty much hide the pain now when I use my gift, or curse as I have come to call it. Alec knows, he is the only other one and he hates it, and Aro for making me use it so often." I could understand Alec's point of view, knowing every time your twin sister used her supposed 'gift' she was going to be in pain would be horrible. "Your turn." She stated and I looked at her confused.

"What?" I dumbly asked.

"I told you something hardly anyone knows now it's your turn." Ah, got it shit ok put on your big girl panties. If you want something fight for it. I was trying to give myself a little pep talk and it wasn't really helping.

"Umm, I know who my mate is, and yours." Her jaw dropped at that.

"Whhat, who?" Instead of answering verbally I scooted closer to her and my eyes locked on to hers and darted down to her lips surprisingly she is the one who closed the distance between us. The second her lips found mine the world stopped. It didn't matter where I was as long as she was with me, be it here in Italy, Montana, or even Hell, I was complete.

The kiss was quick and sweet lasting no more then a few seconds before it was broken. We just stared at each other for ages never breaking the stares or eye contact. Her eyes gave nothing away and I was worried that she was upset, but didn't have time to latch onto that thought because her mouth crashed into mine again.

This kiss was different then the last one. This was frantic and passionate. I licked her bottom lip and she immediately opened up for me. I groaned as I got my first taste of her, she tasted like sunshine, and fire, and chocolate. It was amazing and indescribable, my hands went to the back of her neck pulling her closer as our tongues battled for control. I won and took to exploring my new Mecca with vigor.

The kiss started to slow to sweet gentle pecks and I pulled back and looked into her eyes to gage her reaction. She had the most breath taking smile on her face and suddenly got a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"So are you going to tell me who my mate is?" She asked smirking at me. I was about to give her a smartass answer but her mouth found mine again this time plunging her tongue into my mouth and swirling it in the most maddening pattern. She pulled away this time and I grinned at her.

"You're a smart girl I think you can figure it out!" She laughed and elbowed me in the ribs. Before lying back on the grass and I followed suite.

"So what do we do?" She looked pensive and I knew she was concerned about what this would mean and what we would do if and when I left.

"Well I don't plan on staying here longer then I have to and I want you to come with me. I know you don't want to be here, it's been several hundred years and you deserve a life away from all this violence and fighting." I heard a sigh next to me and turned my head to look at her.

"But that's all I know, and while I would be more then willing to try your diet what if I can't do it? What about Alec? I can't leave him. He's my twin I love him. I know I'm not great with the whole emotions thing but he is all I have." She looked to be on the verge of tears so I grabbed her hand in mine and squeezed.

"He's not all you have," I rolled so I was on my side facing her, "you have me, and with me comes Peter, Char, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Edward, and Bella. Of course I'm the only one that will ever get to do this though." I leaned in and kissed her again. She smiled against my lips before I felt them turn into a frown. I pulled back to see a look of worry cross her face.

"What if they don't want us, I say us because Alec has to come also, what if they can't get over what I have done in the name of an entity I never agreed with." God there was so much hurt and doubt, she could give the emo, Jasper, a run for his money.

"They would welcome you with open arms. Remember our leaders mate is the ex God of War, he did things in the name of a cause he never believed in either because he knew no other way. You are no different. As for the diet, it's your choice, I'll love you either way." She tensed up next to me and I realized what I said. Oh shit! I did not mean to tell her that so soon damn it, she's going to run. She closed her eyes and started shaking her head from side to side.

"NO, no,no,no,no, you can't love me. I'm no good, I hurt people, I don't know the first thing about love! I was changed when I was barely seventeen years old you can't want me!" Well at least she wasn't saying she didn't want me this I could deal with. I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her closer to me.

"Jane, calm down please." I pulled her hair out of the tight bun she kept it in and started running my hands through the blonde silky locks hoping to sooth her a bit. "I know it's soon, we have only known each other a few months, but I knew you were it for me the second I saw you in that clearing. You were basically the only reason I was able to walk away from my family. I had never felt more whole then I did in that moment and if it takes the rest of forever to show you that I do want you and that I do love you then I will gladly wait. Even if you tell me you feel one iota of what I feel for you, that will be enough for me. I can wait for you to be ready." I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her neck as she stated to relax into me.

"I do, I do feel it, I am just so scared, I never thought I would find a mate, Aro told me I was turned to young to ever actually have one, he told me they were the only ones that would ever want me." She sniffled a bit and I squeezed her tighter to me. God how I hated Aro, I mean I hated him before, but now it was all I could do to not storm the castle.

"I hate that he has lied to you for so long, but I promise soon we will break away and I will spend forever showing you the love you have been denied!" I saw the love flash in her eyes before she crashed her lips to mine again. No more words were spoken, but none were needed. I could feel the love she poured into the kiss and for now that was enough. I could wait to hear the words.

* * *

I sat in the middle of the desert taking in the carnage surrounding us. The area was littered with small fires billowing out the purple smoke signaling to any survivors the need to retreat lest they meet with the same fate as there comrades in arms.

It wasn't often I was called on to actually be in the field but this time the entire guard was called upon. We were in Australia where a young vampire decided he wanted to be the new rulers of our world and started to create his own vampire military. We nipped that in the bud real quick. Thanks to my vision of seeing them attack the castle in a years time, we were able to make a preemptive counter strike effectively riding us of the threat.

As always after five years of being subjected to the violence I started to fall into the depression. I hate this and I wanted out. My only comfort these days was my love, Jane. Over the last five years we have become inseparable. Aro knows that we are mates and that has made him very skittish over the years. I think he knows the day we leave is coming sooner rather then later and he is not happy about it.

"Baby, don't do this again please." I didn't even notice Jane had come to sit next to me I was so lost in my thoughts.

"I'm sorry Janey, I just don't know how much more I can take. This is killing me." I leaned my head on her shoulder taking comfort in her as we watched the fires rage on.

"So let's leave." She simply stated. We had been tossing it around for the last year trying to come up with the best way to get out. I know that Peter, Char, and Alec are all ready as well. That was one of the surprised that met us in Italy as well. Peter and Char finally found the last missing piece of their family in the form of a third mate, Alec. It wasn't common but not entirely unheard of. It also explained why they were so quick to agree to join me. They knew they would also find something that was missing from their lives as well.

As soon as she suggested we leave I was hit with a vision. I watched intently seeing what the outcome of the decision would be. When I came out of the vision she was looking at me for answers and all I could do was smile at her. Across the field I heard a whoop and saw Peter start dancing around, I'm pretty sure that means he got one of his Yoda feelings about us going home.

"Alright, lets go home." I told her as I stood up and pulled her into my arms. "I love you." I whispered to her and kissed her neck as she moaned.

"I love you too, but you can't do that here otherwise I won't be able to wait until we are back at the castle and I don't want to take you surrounded by death everywhere." She smacked my ass lightly and ran away checking to make sure that all the stray parts of the dead vamps had been tossed in the fire.

Over the last five years you could really see a noticeable change in Jane. She no longer constantly doubted my love for her, or Peter and Char's love for her as a sibling. She was still nervous about joining the family, but at least she was willing to give it a try. I know that moving away from the only place you have called home for hundreds of years has got to be scary, but I have told her as long as we are together we will handle anything that comes our way.

"Alright everyone we are good to go, let's make our way back to the jet." Felix yelled to the group and we all sprinted out of the desert and made our way back to the airfield for what I was hoping would be the last time.

* * *

We made our way to the throne room and I grabbed Jane's hand drawing strength from her before pushing through the door to stand before the brothers. Aro stood up to welcome us back.

"Welcome back, I trust the insurgents were put down?" He asked looking at Felix and reaching his hand out to him so he could see with his own eyes what had happened. I as glad he didn't ask for one of our five hands, he would have then seen us asking to leave and given us away.

"Wonderful, as always. You may all go about your business." Most of the guard quickly dispersed when Peter stepped forward. We had decided he would handle most of this. "What do you need Peter?" Aro asked impatiently.

"We are leaving. We have given you almost six years of service. Alice can no longer do it mentally, and the rest of us do not wish too." He informed him with authority. I knew that Aro was afraid of Peter, he was a scary mother-fucker when he wanted to be. Aro just laughed but I could see the fear, he knew we wouldn't leave without Jane and Alec which also meant that in a fight they would side with us, not him. He no longer had his own personal torture device to get people to bend to his will.

"What makes you think I will allow you to leave. Six years in the vampire world is hardly a significant time at all." He did have a point there, six years was a drop in the proverbial bucket when compared to eternity. But the bottom line was I mentally couldn't handle not only the missions and carnage, but the feeding from humans any longer. Every time I felt a life end at my hands I lost a bit of my soul.

"Be that as it may, we feel we have paid whatever dept you deemed we owe you. So you can either let the five of us go freely or you can see just how powerful Jane and Alec's powers really are." Marcus sat up straighter at this but Caius just looked at us with what seemed to be pride. Out of all the brothers he was the one I could tolerate the most, but even I was shocked with what happened next.

"Aro, I think you should let them leave. You already have the fear and respect of the vampire world, allowing them to leave won't harm that. Jane and Alec have given you centuries of service I think a reward for their dedication is in order." Caius looked at us all and started laughing. "You should see the looks on your faces. Come now I am not as bad as all that! I do have a heart, figuratively speaking of course." Aro just narrowed his eyes at Caius. I knew he was not happy that he didn't take his side. For Aro it wasn't just about the fear and respect he garnered, it was knowing he had the most talented of vamps at his disposal whenever he wanted.

"I will make you a deal." Aro informed us. "I will allow you to leave, if and only if, you agree to help if and when the occasion calls for it. If a threat is too great that we require your particular talents you must join us until the threat has been removed." I took a deep breath, I knew something like this was coming but the reality of it was still daunting. It was a fine line, what he deemed an actual threat and what we deemed a threat were quite possibly two different things. He could end up calling upon us every other week.

"Aro, don't be ridiculous. This last threat was the first of its kind in over two hundred years. You know usually we deal with minor indiscretions and small skirmishes. Alec and Jane deserve a chance to be teenagers. They deserve a chance to have a life outside of the castle. Let them go, and only call them if there is a real an actual threat." I as astounded that he was sticking up for them so forcefully.

"Caius, dear brother, what has gotten into you? This isn't something to take lightly. I am only thinking about what is best for all of us. They know nothing of the outside world I don't want to see them harmed in anyway. I see them as my own children." I snorted quietly. He was getting desperate and changing tactics.

"With all due respect Aro," Alec spoke up this time, "we know nothing of the outside world because you never allowed it. With or without your permission my sister and I are leaving with our mates. You can choose to let us leave peacefully and we will agree to help you if the threat is significant, or we can leave with you writhing on the floor in pain and you will never have our help. The choice is yours." The entire room stood in shock. Alec never said more then a few words at a time in front of people. He was usually painfully shy and uncertain. I could see Peter and Char absolutely beaming next to him.

"I see I have no choice. But when you slip up or cause problems and they throw you out, know you will always be welcome back here." He tried to make it sound like he was doing them a favor but we could all see right through it.

We didn't wait for him to change his mind before we turned to leave. Jane tugged on my hand roughly before letting go. I turned and saw her run up to the thrones and suddenly throw her arms around Caius.

"Thank you Master, very much." She told him and he pat her back.

"No child, you have no Master any longer. Go and live your life and cherish the love you have found." My respect for this man grew by leaps and bounds as he told her that. She didn't have a master anymore, she was her own and mine, but only because she chose it. No longer would someone rule over her and dictate her actions. She kissed his cheek quickly before joining me at the door.

"Let's go home." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to our room to pack. She seemed lighter then I have ever seen her and I knew I was just starting to see the true Jane. I couldn't wait to see her open up even more, and I couldn't wait to get home!

* * *

**A/N: Oh so who saw that coming? Jane/Alice? Huhh? No one ever even thought out that possibility, I love stumping people hehe! I also didn't do a lemon in here cause one it was getting to damn long and I have never done a Femslash before so didn't want to throw off the chapter. wasn't sure about doing the whole Peter/Alec/Char thing, but I thought it was fun so go with it. So for the first outtake if you would like me to do them what would you want to see? **

**Jane/Alice's first time**

**Peter/Char/Alec lovin'**

**Edward/Bella first time flashback**

**Let me know, or if you have an idea throw it out there. **

**So please review and as usual you will get a preview!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay! Sometimes life just gets in the way! But here you are, I did make an error that I will explain at the bottom, it's not a huge deal, but I ended up having to break this chapter up into two because it was getting too long and I wanted to get it out, so the preview I sent you all of the next chapter will actually be the next chapters preview, but if you review you will get another one, so bonus! Please don't kill me.**

**I am also having a little contest: Rename Isle Esme, is the name of it. I can't for the life of me think of a good name so I want your suggestions I will then pick my favorite 3 and post them in the next chapter the one who gets the most votes by you all will get to choose what couple or group my first outtake of this story will be. I couldn't decide, I am horrible at decisions, so thats what the contest is. Tell me what you think it should be called and if yours is picked you choose the Lemon Outtake!**

**Again thanks to my amazing Beta Jaspered01, you kick ass even when you are tired from layovers and plane delays you still go this to me in record time! **

**WARNING: There is an absurd amount of lemons in this chapter if you don't like just skip it all together.**

**CPOV:**

I looked down at the man I had cradled in my arms and smiled. He was in a trance like state that, after years of practice, we can enter to give our minds a much needed respite from the constant thoughts running through them. I thought back to what happened last night and the first thing I thought was I am most definitely a top. While I don't regret giving myself fully to Jasper, I knew it was something that we both needed to be complete in our relationship, I wasn't sure how keen I was on a repeat in the near future. My ass was sore and achy, and while it felt good once I got used to the feeling of being filled, I preferred to be the one pounding into his sweet ass then the other way around.

Would I do it again? Yes. Would I do it often? No, probably not. I know it's something that Jasper will want on occasion and I will give it to him when the need hits, but I also know that he prefers to relinquish control, so we pretty much worked perfectly. Now we just have to figure out how to move on without Alice, Peter, and Charlotte here.

Peter and Char had quickly become an integral part of the family. I was actually going to miss the bastard, not something I would have thought I would have said a few weeks ago. I was really worried about Alice though. Besides the new diet I knew they would force on her the different "missions" they would send her one, the violence, the fight for power, would have a profound effect on her. She was a pacifist by nature so this was going to be huge for her. I just hoped that when she came back she was the same flighty, erratic, playful Alice she was when she left.

I prayed that she would quickly find her mate and they would help keep her grounded and remind her who she was when things got tough. I was thankful that she had Peter and Charlotte with her, while they would have an easier time with the diet, I knew they would support her as best as they could. I couldn't wait to find out who her mate was though. My money was on Alec.

I thought back on the week Jasper had spent angry and despondent with me. I knew that he would be upset, everyone kept telling me he would be, but that he would come around. I had started to worry that they had been wrong after the first few days of him avoiding me. I hated seeing him so broken, dealing with the loss of two sisters and a brother. We were all hurting but I don't think that any of us felt it as acutely as Jasper did. He had relied on Alice for nearly 60years for companionship and comfort. I know that he has me now but it is different and I do recognize that. I wish there was something I could do to make this transition easier for him.

Maybe we could travel for a bit, take a vacation. I do still own the island, although I think a name change is in order. I know that Jasper has never been before it would be nice and relaxing spending time in the sun on the beach. I will have to give it some thought, maybe the others would want to go also.

We also need to all sit down and talk about what we want to do next. I need to have a family meeting. We were suppose to go to school in the next year or so, depending on how Bella is handling the blood-lust, but now it just doesn't feel right.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice Jasper starting to stir until his ass made contact with my hard cock, humm, I didn't even notice it was hard until now. Of course with Jasper around it's pretty much always hard. I moaned and rolled my hips against his tight ass.

"Shit," I heard him groan out as he tried to turn in my arms to face me I held him tighter and stopped him.

"Get on all fours now, I want to see that ass in the air." I as thrilled we never got dressed after our sexcapades last night this made it so much easier. He repositioned himself to comply with my demand and as I sat up and admired the view. God he is damn fine.

"Fuck Car, take me, I need you." He growled out as his breathing started to pick up. I reached my hand around and started to pump his dripping cock as I searched the bed for the lube that I was sure was still there from last night. I finally felt it under the pillow and grinned in victory before popping the top. I pulled my hand away from Jasper and pour a liberal amount of the sticky substance onto my hand before stroking my own cock with it.

"You will not touch yourself," I commanded and he just nods, "I want you to come from my cock alone, this will not be slow, this will not be gentle, and you will fucking love it!" I whisper in his ear.

"Please," is all he can whimper out as I position my throbbing cock at his entrance and in one swift thrust encase myself fully in his tight hole. Jasper cries out as I enter him in what I know is a mix of pleasure and pain. I stay still for a second to give him just enough time to adjust to the intrusion before I pull out and thrust my hips forward again. I set a furious pace as we both race toward the release we so desperately want.

"Oh mother….shit so good….right there Car." He reaches his hand down to his cock and as I notice this I stop all movement and pull out completely. He looks back at me over his shoulder with a questioning look.

"What did I tell you?" His eyes get wide as saucers as he starts to explain.

"I'm sorry, I forgot, I was just…shit…it was just so good, please, Car…." I slapped his ass hard once and his wanton moan piques my interest and I do it again, "Oh God!" He calls out.

"Nope, try again." I whisper as I pull his hips back into me and burry myself in him once more slapping his ass again at the same time.

"CAR! HOLY FUUUUCK!" Oh I like this. I have never slapped anyone during sex but the writhing and moans that were coming from Jasper spurred me on as I landed a few swift slaps accentuating them with a thrust of my hips.

"I'm sorry love, I'm not quite sure I heard you, who?" I snap my hips harder and faster and roll my hips finally hitting his prostate.

"CARRRRRR!" He screams out and his arms give out as his upper body collapses to the mattress forcing me to go further into him then before as I hit his sweet spot over and over again.

"OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! Jasper I love fucking you, oh fuck!" I was losing it but he needed to come first, as if hearing my silent pleas I felt him start to shutter under me. "Jasper, I need you to come, NOW!" I yelled out, one more violent thrust had Jasper screaming at the top of his lungs,

"DAMN CAR…CUMMMMMM….." the rest was muffled as he buried his face in a pillow and with three more quick snaps had me seeing stars and praising every Deity known to man as I spilled my seed deep into his pert ass. The rest of his body fell to the mattress and I fell on top of him both panting and glowing from one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. I think it was only surpassed by the first time he and I were together and we claimed each other.

As I finally started to calm down I pulled my softening member out of Jasper and rolled onto my back groaning at the loss of the connection with him.

"Shit, Carlisle, that was….I don't even have words." He rolled so he was resting on my chest and moaned in pain as he did.

"Shit, baby, was I too rough did I hurt you?" I moved to try and assess any damage I may have done instantly feeling guilty only to have him pull me back down chuckling.

"No sweets, it was amazing, yes a little rough, but I liked it and I am sore, but a good sore so please relax."

I nodded as he snuggled into me I breathed in his scent, it was my favorite thing in the whole world, aside from his body.

We lay there in silence for ages just basking in the euphoria we created as morning turned to afternoon I knew I had to talk to him about my idea.

"Car, just ask, I can feel you getting anxious." I kissed his forehead collected my thoughts before jumping in.

"I was thinking, I know we don't want to move while the others are in Italy, but I thought maybe it would be a good time for the couples to maybe split and take some time away, you know reconnect, or in our case connect for the first time. I mean think about it we have only really been together what a few months not even. It would be nice to get away and just be us." _Please say yes, please say yes._ I was chanting to myself. I had so many things I wanted to do, so many things I wanted to show him, so many places Esme never wanted to go that I hoped he would want to.

"So where would you want to go?" He asked.

"Well I haven't been back to England since I was turned I would like to go there, maybe travel around Europe a bit, then maybe go to the Island for a few a while. I don't know, we don't have an agenda, could we just go and see where the wind takes us?" He leaned his chin on my chest and smirked at me.

"You want to go somewhere with out a planned itinerary? Who are you and what have you done with the meticulous planner I call my mate?" He quirked a suspicious eyebrow at me. He made an excellent point, I was never one to go by the seat of my pants and take off with no real destination. But I was trying to embrace my younger side and this appealed to me on several levels.

"I know, I know, but I thought why not through caution to the wind, everyone is always saying that I should act my age, so why not." I shrugged while running my hands up and down his back occasionally going further down to the perfect curve of his ass.

"Carlisle, if this is something you want to do then I am all for it. I think we need to discuss it with the rest of them to make sure they are ok with it, but I think it would be nice. All we have really known since we have been together is drama, it would be great to get away just the two of us where no drama will follow." This is exactly what I had been thinking also. From the drama of Esme leaving, to discovering Jasper as my mate, me running away, finally coming to terms with it, coming home to James attacking, then Laurent and Victoria coming, then Bella changing, and then the Volturi, well life has been a roller-coaster to say the very least.

"Good I agree, we should get dressed so I can call a family meeting. I wonder where everyone is?" I hadn't heard any of them since we entered our bubble.

"Well let's get dressed and make our way down. I am sure they will trickle in eventually." We rolled out of bed and made our way to the dual closest and pulled on clothes we went to wait for the rest of the family in the living room. We snuggled into the couch talking about the places we wanted to go and the things we wanted to do.

"I want to visit the Louvre." He told me definitively.

"I guess we can make a jaunt over to Paris for a few weeks," I was about to ask what else he wanted to do when Emmett and Rose came waltzing in looking surprisingly intact. Normally when they have hunted together it turns into….other things and they come back covered in mud and debris. I was shock when not ten seconds later Bella and Edward came in looking like they just went five rounds with a bear. Edward was shirtless and his jeans were barely hanging on. Bella appeared to be in Edwards old shirt that was hardly covering anything anymore because it was so torn up.

"It was a cougar not a bear." Edward answered my thoughts. I cocked my head in question and he sighed as Bella giggled.

"Fine, ok, I was stalking my lunch and had just pounced on it when my lovely girlfriend here decided to distract me causing the cougar to attack and shred my clothes." My eyebrows shot to my hairline. What could she possibly have done to distract him that much?

"Oh, I know, I know…..let me tell, please. I can tell what you want to know!" Emmett is bouncing on his toes like a kid about to be let into a toy store with no spending limit. Edward groaned and fell into the chair where Bella went and plopped into his lap kissing his cheek.

"So whose going to tell us?" Jasper inquired resting his head on my shoulder.

"Bella may or may not have lost most of her clothes in her match with the actual bear, when she went to find Edward she happened to be well, pretty much buck naked, Edward was wrestling with the cougar and lost his concentration when she sauntered into the area causing the cougar to get the upper hand. When we entered the area they were in we found Edward balls deep in….." He was interrupted by Edward.

"Ok, ok they get the idea. You caught us having forest sex, great, you however failed to mention your new voyeuristic fetish, you didn't have to spy on us." Edward shot Emmett and Rose a glare.

"Hey, if you hadn't suddenly turned into exhibitionists it wouldn't have been a problem, I was surprised to walk into that little clearing and find you ass up, pounding Bella into the ground." Bella growled and Rose hissed, this was about to turn ugly so I decided to put an end to it.

"Alright everyone, it's not like we all haven't walked in one another before, lets just move on, we have something's that need to be discussed." Time away was just what we all needed.

"I agree Carlisle, but Bella can't travel yet." Edward again answered my thoughts.

"Why don't you let the man talk instead of just assuming we all know what the hell is going on!" Rose snapped.

"Everybody relax and stop acting like children and I will tell you. Jasper and I talked and we think that this would be the perfect time for all of the couples to split for a time, go our own ways, explore, reconnect as couples. Since Bella can't travel right now we thought you both could stay here then we could come back when Bella is in better control and you can travel for a bit. The only thing is I don't want to leave the house alone incase the others come back." Everyone seemed to be thinking about the possibilities for a bit.

"We could hit up Africa, oh, shit Australia! I wanna ride in a Kangaroo!" Emmett was bouncing in his seat. Rose just rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut, with Emmett sometimes it was better just to let it go.

"Of course you can dear." Rose just pat his head in indulgence.

"Bella, Edward, what do you both think?" I wanted to know how they felt being left behind.

"Carlisle," Bella starts, "I don't think of it as being left behind. Edward and I can just hang here, breaking in everyone's rooms." She threw a wink at Edward.

"Oh good, we will make sure and leave the video camera in the bedroom on then." Jasper told them and they both froze in place looking at him like he had two heads, well he does they just won't get to see the second one. I heard Edward groan.

"Car, please stop thinking about Jaspers heads, please!" The entire room burst out laughing.

"Sorry Edward, so you are ok with us leaving you both here? We will obviously have our phones on us if you need to reach us. But we both feel it would be a good time since the family isn't all-together anyway why not take advantage of it." I informed them of my logic and hoped they would agree with it.

"I say sure, it would be nice to just focus on us for awhile." Bella agreed, the rest of them just nodded.

"Ok then, it's settled. Rose I assume you and Emmett will choose where you want to go and make your arrangements. Jasper and I will be heading to Europe then going to the Island, which needs to be renamed so if anyone has any ideas please feel free to share." Everyone looked deep in thought when Jasper broke the silence.

"How about the Island of love?" Emmett asked and Rose smacked him on the back of the head. While it had always served as a lovers retreat I was hoping to name it something a bit more classy. It had always been a get away for any couple needing time apart from the family, it was one of the only places that had ever been successful in reigniting the passion Esme and I had had in our relationship. Which never even came close to what Jasper and I shared, even in the height of our time together.

"I like it, cause that's all that happens on that island, L.O.V.E and sexy times! I remember one time Rose and I were there and we were fu….OW!" Emmett started rubbing the back of his head as we all heard the resounding smack of Rose's hand making contact with his skull.

"Ok well everyone keep thinking about it and we can decide later, now that that's all settled we have plans to make and tickets to book so let's get on it." We made our way to my office to book tickets for everyone. Jasper and I were leaving from Billings tomorrow afternoon. We would make our way to New York's JFK, where we would connect on a flight to Heathrow. From there it was totally and completely unplanned, no hotel reservations, no clue where we were going to go, we were just going to see where the road took us. I couldn't wait!

* * *

The next day found Jasper and I trapped in the tiny plane jetting toward New York. We had all gone out hunting the night before, Jasper needed to make sure he was fully feed before getting on a cramped flight with all the recycled air filtering the warm scent of blood into his system. The goodbyes were rough, but filled with promises to call at least once a week to check in and touch base, but we all felt that this was time needed apart so they could be a stronger family when they came back together in a few years. Yes years, we had decided that we would travel for a few years before rejoining each other in Montana, where hopefully the rest of their family would find their way to shortly after.

I was thrilled to be doing this with Jasper, he didn't seem to want, or need, the most expensive hotels, the best shows, and extravagant shopping life Esme. He was content to spend the time with me doing whatever we wanted to do. I can't remember a time when I didn't have a schedule I had to keep, and appointment I had to be at, or a timetable I had to stick to, we were truly free of any and all restraints, and I felt liberated! So liberated in fact that as we boarded our connecting flight in JFK I decided I wanted to have some fun.

"What was that Car?" Jasper asked me as we made our way to our seats.

"What was what?" I gave him my most innocent look, he must have felt a spike in my emotions.

"You are feeling adventurous and mischievous, why?" I just smirked at him as I took my seat and stretched my legs out in front of me. I was glad that we decided to go with first-class it gave us more room and privacy. I leaned in a pecked him on the lips before settling in my seat again.

"No reason, just thinking of all the things we are going to get to do." I could tell he didn't believe me but he didn't push it. He just got into his seat and pulled out his Ipod. The stewardess came around and asked if we needed anything and I asked for a few blankets. Jasper didn't say anything just leaned his seat back and looked out the window as we taxied to the runway for take off.

Once we were in the air and the crew had served the drinks and gone on to do other things I tossed the blanket over Jasper and mines laps, he gave me a curious glance but went back to him music ignoring me. I slowly moved my hand under the blanket and placed it on his knee and squeezed. He shifted in his seat slightly but kept his gaze out the window and on the Atlantic.

Slowly and lazily, savoring the anticipation I was feeling, I worked my way up his thigh drawing patterns with my fingers. Occasionally I would move my hand to the inside of his thigh playing with the seam of his jeans there only to move back to a more innocent location. I could hear his breathing pick up minutely as I got higher and higher. It was a slow and torturous ascent and Jasper started shifting more often the higher up I got until finally he cracked and hissed at me,

"What the hell are you doing?" He whispered low so only I could hear him and I couldn't help but feel a bit smug.

"Just having some fun baby, relax, enjoy, we are on vacation after all." I grazed my hand ever so slightly over the pulsing bulge that had found its way to his jeans and he moaned out quietly.

"Car, you can't do this to me, what if I start projecting." He was almost whining at this point as I continued to graze his hardened package with my fingers adding only the slightest bit of pressure.

"Then I guess it will be a very happy flight for everyone." I gently squeezed his cock through his jeans and his head rolled back and landed on the headrest. I moved my hand up and popped the button on his jeans and lowered the zipper dipping my hand in. Instead of meeting the undergarments I expected to find I was met with only skin. He must have felt my shock because I heard a chuckle from him.

"You aren't the only one who had dirty thoughts floating around this morning." He leaned in and licked my ear and it was my turn to groan. No, I was in control here.

"Well, dirty boys, deserve to have dirty things done to them." To accentuate the point I wrapped my hand around the head of his cock and squeezed tightly making him yelp out having to cover it with a cough.

"Fuck Car….." He didn't have time to form any more thoughts as pulled him free of the confines of his jeans and started to pump him slowly. I was just getting a good rhythm up when the stewardess made her rounds again.

"Are you boys all right over here, can I get you or your brother anything? He looks a little ill." I tried really hard not to roll my eyes at her but didn't succeed.

"No thank you, my boyfriend and I are more fine, he is just a bit….occupied currently." I winked at her and she flushed visibly before scurrying off. I wasn't sure if she caught on to what I was doing or if she was flustered by the boyfriend comment but I didn't really care at this point. I was back to focusing on my man and loving the sounds he was trying to stifle when I ran my thumb over his slit.

"Shh, baby, you have to be quite or I will have to stop," I stopped my movements and gently squeezed the throbbing head, "you wouldn't want that now would you?" I pumped him quickly again as he shook his head and threw it back on the head rest again.

"No, god Car, please don't stop." He panted out quietly. I looked around to make sure that no one was paying attention, most people were either sleeping or watching some movie and were taking no notice of us. My own dick was throbbing but my only goal was to watch Jasper come undone completely.

"I love watching you come unraveled, it's stunning, are you close baby?" We were talking so low and fast that only a vampire would ever hear.

"I…yes…shit Car, what are you doing to me…..oh god? So….close," I could feel his cock throbbing in my hand and knew it was only a matter of seconds before he would erupt. I grabbed the handkerchief that I threw in my pocket for just this occasion and maneuvered it over him to catch the spunk before it made a huge mess.

"Come for me baby, let me see you lose it." With a few final pumps and a low rumbling growl from him he released and I was hit with wave after wave of pleasure and ecstasy as he lost his tight hold on his gift. Feeling that was almost enough to make me come in my pants, fortunately I have enough control and was able to hold on so that I wouldn't make a mess everywhere.

"Shhhiitttttt." He gritted out as I stroked him through his climax. Once he started coming down I used the handkerchief to clean him up I quickly got up and went to the bathroom to dispose of the soiled fabric. As I made my way back to our seat I saw the look of contentment and satisfaction on my mans face and couldn't help but feel a bit smug as I grinned at him.

"Oh you won't be feeling that smug for long baby, all I have to say aside from thank you for that is, game on." He chuckled and I couldn't wait to see what he would come up with.

* * *

Visiting my old home wasn't nearly as profound as I thought it would be. Obviously I knew that things wouldn't look the same, but things had changed so much to the point where I could no longer even pinpoint where my old home would have been, or where I was when I had been attacked, or where the basement was that I had spent my three day change in. I was a bit disappointed but wasn't going to let it ruin our trip. We decided we didn't want to stay too long in London and wanted to make our way to the city of love.

Paris was everything we had thought it would be, the passion, the romance, the history, everything about it screamed love, and we were feeling it. We did all the touristy stuff, visiting the Eiffel Tower, The Chateau de Versailles, Norte Dame, and countless museums. Today I was excited though we were going to the one place I had never been before and in all honesty it had me giddy like a school girl, we were going to the Louvre.

"Darlin' not that I don't love the happy, happy you're sending me, but I'm about to have rainbows shoot out my ass if you don't tone it down a bit." He grabbed my hand as we left the hotel we decided to stay in while here. We had been traveling around Paris and the rest of Europe going on about six months now and while we had seen some amazing things, the Louvre was on my top five list of things to see before I well….die.

Everything about this trip had been amazing thus far. My relationship with Jasper was incredible everyday we connected more and more. Learning more about each other and our new roles as mates, not just friends. Our nights were some of my favorite times though, from sneaking into the London Tower and making love, to getting a blow job on top of the Eiffel Tower, everything was just amazing. We learned more about each other, talking about what we remembered about our human lives, to our trials and tribulations after our turns. No topic was off limits, nothing was hidden, we were open books and I could feel our connection solidify with each new thing we uncovered. I could feel him in my soul, it was intense and powerful.

One of the best things about Europe was that our relationship rarely if ever turned heads. It was more widely excepted here. We didn't have to worry about snide comments for showing affection in public, and if there ever were any it was always from another American tourist.

So here we are strolling through the streets of Paris making our way to the museum I looked over at Jasper and saw what I have come to recognize as his mischievous smirk firmly in place on his beautiful lips.

"What's that little smirk for babe?" I didn't imagine he would tell me but I could hope.

"Oh, don't you worry about that, let's go see some art." He kissed my lips quickly and pulled me up to the entrance and into one of the largest museums in the world.

We leisurely walk through the massive halls starting with one of the temporary exhibits on Egyptian Antiquities that was currently being shown. The ingenuity of the ancient Egyptians was truly amazing. As I was looking at one of the sarcophagus's I was suddenly hit with an intense feeling of lust and desire and almost groaned out loud. I heard a snicker from somewhere in the hall and whipped around trying to find Jasper knowing he was the one doing this, but couldn't see him anywhere.

I sniffed the air and had a surprisingly difficult time pinpointing his scent, it was over powered by old scents of wood, paint, and paper that permeated the air. I worked my way to the next room and his smell got stronger in here and the wave of lust and desire strengthened but was also accompanied by euphoria. I turned in the direction I felt the waves coming from but was met with empty space.

"Jasper what are you playing at?" I said for his ears only and was met with another chuckle as I felt his cool breath his my neck and his hands slide over the curve of my ass squeezing tightly and the lust doubled my own now mixing with what he was sending me.

"I told you on the plane from New York, game on baby." He quickly licked my ear before darting away faster then any human could ever notice. I turned around trying to catch a glimpse of where he went but could only hear his laughter on occasion, which I followed from room to room. The lust and desire would intensify for awhile then be pulled back, I was panting, and my cock was straining painful against my jeans.

I tried to acted as normal as possible going around to the exhibits taking in the art trying my hardest not to find a bathroom to relieve the pressure that was slowly building and begging me for release. I worked my way from the antiquities to the famous paintings and as I entered the room that house the _Mona Lisa _I was hit a wave of ecstasy so strong it almost brought me to my knees.

"Fuckkkk….." I hissed out as I went to sit on the bench in front of the smirking women. It's almost like she knows exactly what my lover is doing to me and is laughing right along with him.

I couldn't see him but I could feel him in the room with me now, I looked around the room and saw it was empty and I wonder what other emotions he sent out into the room to clear it out.

"Jasper, please….this is….shit…." I was hit with lust and desire again and lost all train of thought.

"Please what Car, what's wrong?" I could hear him in the left back corner of the room and I could hear the smirk in his voice. He knew what he was doing and he loved it.

"Baby please, do something….shit….I need more….or less….either let me come….damn it….or stop, please." I don't know how long this had been going on, I had lost all track of time.

"Hmm, so you're begging for mercy? Mercy you didn't show me in the air plane. I don't think so." He laughed darkly and I felt the fire ignite in my belly and spread through my limps as I shook with need.

"Uhhh, oh God," I breathed out. I felt him shift in the room.

"You know I love watching you lose it. I love the sounds you make when you're coming undone." I felt the air shift as his scent assaulted me and sent my libido into overdrive, "I love being able to see your body react to what I do to you." He kissed my neck and sucked lightly before moving away again. As the fire raged on. It was familiar and I knew what he was doing, but the idea of doing something like this in public was adding to the intense sensations I was feeling. My dick was throbbing painfully and I was one step away from begging when the fire intensified again and I threw my head back and groaned.

I felt the whoosh of air again and felt a hand come over my mouth and was pulled against a stone chest.

"You need to be quite, don't want any guards…..too late." He pulled me back into one of the corners as a guard wandered through the gallery we were currently in. Being restrained and quieted in a dark corner of very public place was such a turn on, I was about ready to come I just needed a little more, a little push, and would completely lose it.

Keeping his hand over my mouth he moved his free hand over my chest and down my abdomen where the inferno doubled and I moaned into his hand. His mouth latched onto my neck and nibbled, sucked, and licked as I writhed and thrashed in his arms.

"Come one love, come for me, baby." His hand moved further down and cupped my raging hard-on through my jeans and squeezed as I exploded as flashes of white light and stars danced across my eyes, as my knees shook and gave way with the force of my orgasm. Once I came down I turned in his arms and kissed him fiercely, our tongues battled it out neither of us really trying to win we just twisted and sucked and savored the taste of each other.. Our corner kissed turned into a make-out session and I could feel Jasper's hard-on against my stomach and pushed into him more.

"Oh no baby, I don't feel like having to deal with a sticky wet mess," he glanced down at my pants and laughed, "like you do." I pulled away from him as I started to notice my own sticky situation.

"You are such a jackass." I went to move away put was pulled back violently as he captured my lips again.

"Don't worry baby I came prepared. Let's get you to a bathroom and changed I brought you a change of pants." He pulled me along behind him to the nearest bathroom and shoved me into one of the stalls, "come on love we have a whole museum to explore." He tossed the pants over the stall and I quickly changed and stepped out. I tossed my soiled pants into the rubbish bin and went to explore the gallery that we just defiled.

Wandering though the halls hand in hand with Jasper I was totally content and the feeling of euphoria was from more then just the amazing orgasm he just gave me. I was happy with who I was, I was thrilled with where my life was going, my soul was complete in his presence, and once the family was together our lives would once again be complete also.

Jasper dropped my hand as he went to admire a Da Vinci as I just watched him. He was so beautiful, he could give the most beautiful painting here a run for its money. I was constantly stunned by this exquisite creature that I could call mine. I went to him wrapping my arms around his waist and he leaned back into my chest.

"I love you." He whispered while admiring the work before him.

"I love you too, so very much." We spent the rest of the day studying the masterpieces through the ages and just enjoying once again being with one another.

* * *

After having traveled around Europe for a year and a half Jasper decided he wanted to go and visit his old hometown much like I did. So we flew back to the states and decided to drive around the states visiting all the ridiculously stupid attractions as we made our way from New York to Texas.

One of the towns we stayed in was in Louisiana and Jasper decided to embrace his cowboy roots again and dragged me to something he found called, _Rainbow Wranglers, _turns out is was a gay cowboy club which I never even knew existed and the name in my opinion was pretty ironic.

As we dressed for the evening I found myself in a red plaid button down shirt that fit like a second skin, and faded levis over brown snake skin boots topped off with a white Stetson. It outside of my normal attire but not entirely uncomfortable, but one look at Jasper and I knew I would never pull this look off like he did.

When he stepped out of the bathroom I was totally frozen in place as I stared in awe of my cowboy. He was in a pair of black snake skin boots, with tight black wranglers, he had a tight white button down shirt that was left half open revealing a black under shirt that fit like he was born with it, and the one thing that had me hard almost instantly was his black well worn Stetson covering his blonde locks. He was in a word, FUCKABLE!

I was on him in the blink of an eye pinning him to the wall and practically raping his mouth with my tongue. I ground my hips into his feeling his cock that was perfectly outlined by the tight as fuck pants he was wearing.

"Baby I'm not sure I want you to leave the room looking like this." I licked the column of his throat tasting his skin and causing him to moan and thrust into me.

"Well I want to go to a good old fashioned honky-tonk so too bad." He pecked my lips then pushed me off him.

"Good old fashioned GAY honky-tonk, they had a lot of those where you were from?" I joked as I straightened out my clothes. He just rolled his eyes and grabbed his wallet and key card pocketing them both. I got a nice view of his ass when he turned to get his wrist cuffs and nearly came as I saw how perfectly his jeans hung on his tight posterior. I groaned, growled lightly, I don't know why but my possessiveness was out in full force tonight, this could actually end very badly.

"Come on love let's do this!" He clapped his hands and made his way to the door holding it open for me to follow him through it.

"I just hope they have a mechanical bull, I would love to see how you ride!" I smacked his ass letting my hand linger, "just remember this," I squeezed his butt tightly, "is mine." I swatted his ass again and stepped through the door into the hallway.

We decided to walk to the club as it was only a few blocks away, the closer we got the louder the music became the more uneasy I was feeling, and I had no idea why. It was just a feeling that was settling in the pit of my stomach. I tried to push it down but as we walked up to the entrance of the club and the eyes of the bouncer roamed over my mate the feeling crashed over me again and this time I realized what it was, jealousy. Yes, a long night indeed.

"Come on lover, none of that, it will be fun," I pulled my by my hand into the loud club, "besides I remember what you told me, I'm all your's. They can look but only you get to touch." He pulled me through the club to one of the tables that was free.

"I know you remember that, I'm just not sure any of these fuckers here know that." I saw his mouth curve into a sexy as hell smirk and remembered that he loved it when I cussed. Just as I was about to say something else a man in chaps over navy blue boxer briefs and a leather vest sauntered up to our table.

"Howdy boys welcome to the Rainbow, can I get you fine men something to drink?" He licked his lips as he looked Jasper over and I had to bite back the growl that built in my chest. Jasper looked at me with a raised eyebrow before turning back to the waiter.

"Yes, we will have two beers please." He passed the man some money but gave him no further attention.

"Coming right up." He turned back to the bar and I heard him mumble, "_hopefully that won't be the only thing coming up." _I was about to get up and give the boy a piece of my mind whenJasper put his hand on my knee effectively holding me in place. The waiter returned moments later with our beverages that we would not be drinking and left again with out making any further comments, which was good cause then I didn't have to snap his neck.

The club was loud, too loud to talk comfortably, even for vampires, so we just stayed at the table for awhile holding hands. After a bit I got up to stand behind Jasper and we swayed to the music and he rocked his hips back into mine. I could feel myself growing hard and was having a hard time restraining myself. I can't imagine how he is holding it together with all the lust permeating in the club. I wasn't even an empath and I could feel it.

Just as I was about to take things further Jasper pulled away and turned to look at me like a kid on Christmas morning.

"They have a bull!" He practically squealed I don't think I have ever seen him this excited and I had to chuckle, "Sorry all the emotions floating around are taking their toll on me." He smirked at me.

"Sure, all the emotions around you, your not just super excited to get to ride the mechanical bull right?" He just shrugged and started bouncing again, "Ok go, before I decided I want my hair in pig-tails like a little school girl." He quickly kissed my mouth before bolting to the other side of the club where there was a ring squared out with mats and a mechanical bull in the center. Due to my vampire sight I didn't need to be close to see him so I sat back in my chair preparing for the show.

There was a bit of a line for people to attempt the bull, and I saw a sign above it that claimed to be the most "Untamable Bull in the United States" really? I was a mechanical bull for god sake, but people did seem to be having issues staying on the required 8 seconds. But I had no doubt in my mind that my baby could do it.

Finally it was his turn on the beast and the amount of cheering that went up rattled the walls, yeah my cowboy was hot and everyone in the joint knew it. He quickly jumped on the thing and it started up, I watched as it worked its way up to its full force before they started the timer. To everyone else it looked like he was having a hard time staying on the contraption but I knew it was just for show. He would be able to hold onto that bull and ride for hours if need be, hell I think I bucked harder then that thing, and trust me he had been able to hold on for a hell of a lot longer then 8 seconds. Just thinking about it now made my mouth water.

After he made quite a showing of staying on the bull for a full 14 seconds before allowing himself to be bucked off he started to make his way back to me but was stopped about half way back by a large man with dirty brown hair. The man was about 6'5" and would give Emmett a run for his money in the size department. He was attractive I guess and I tried to make out what they were saying, with all the noise I had to concentrate really hard to catch it.

"_Hello boy, how about I show you my raging bull and see if you and hold on for as long?" _The man trailed his hand up Jaspers arm and I instantly saw red, _MINE! _The beast in me roared out. I heard Jasper hiss at the man, who apparently was too stupid to be afraid of the vampire in front of him. What that hell was wrong with people these days anyway?

"_You may want to step away from me, if you would like to live through the night." _I heard Jasper inform the man as I quickly made my way through the crowd.

"_Oh, and why is that beautiful?"_ The man ran his hand down Jaspers chest.

"_Because my boyfriend doesn't share very well and I would hate for you to get hurt."_ Jasper told him.

"_I don't see anyone around and if you were mine I wouldn't let you out of my sight for a second." _The douche leaned in closer and Jasper leaned away trying to get around him.

"_I was just on my way back to him excuse me please." _Jasper moved to try and get around him again, which using vampire speed would have been no problem but we couldn't do that here. The guy grabbed his arm holding him in place and I growled again.

I knew that Jasper was enjoying my possessiveness and the idea of what was coming otherwise he would have just stopped him, himself, the beast inside however way pissed off that he allowed another man to touch him, and at this point it was toss up as to which side of me would win, the rational side that would just politely inform the man that Jasper was taken, or the beast that would knock the guys block off then proceed to claim my mate in front of everyone here.

Just as I was sure the rational side was going to win and I was upon them the idiot had to go and ruin my last little bit of control but reaching around and grabbing Jaspers ass. I growled loud enough for only Jasper to hear as he looked at me wide eyed wondering what I was going to do.

"He has a nice ass doesn't he?" I seethed at the man who had his back to me. When he heard my voice he turned his head to me and I saw a flicker of fear cross his face, I imagine my eyes must have looked pretty wild and the red haze was growing thicker by the minute. But this human seemed to have less of a self-preservation instinct then Bella cause with the next words out of him mouth I almost drained him dry.

"He sure as hell does," he emphasized his point by squeezing again, "I can't wait until my cock is pounding into it." This guy must have a death wish. I put my hand on the guys shoulder and spun him around grabbing the offending hand in my own twisting it back until it was at the breaking point causing the man to cry out.

"The only cock that will be pounding into that ass is mine!" I spat at him and twisted his hand a little harder causing his knees to buckle and my beast to strut with pride seeing this man in a submissive stance now.

"Please I didn't know he was with anyone, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He was sniveling and begging. I knew I couldn't kill him no matter how much my beast wanted too, but didn't mean I couldn't break his hand, I was just about apply the bit of added pressure needed to snap it when I felt Jasper wrap his arms around me. His scent washing over me pulling me back to myself a bit. I threw the mans arm back at him.

"Next time someone tells you not to do something I suggest you heed the warning and back the fuck off, you got lucky this time." I roughly pulled Jasper off the dance floor he had been walking across to get to me and towards the door. "I hope you had your fill because we are getting the hell out of here." He didn't speak just nodded and followed me out the door.

We walked in silence for a bit but the longer we walked the more and more I felt the beast rage. I had seen the entire exchange I know Jasper didn't welcome it but seeing him not remove the mans hands had my animal very angry and at this point reining him in was not an option. I finally snapped and yanked Jasper into a deserted ally between the hotel and the club.

I pinned him against the wall of the ally and looked into his coal black eyes.

"You let him touch what I warned you early was mine." I spun him around so his chest was flush against the brick wall and he whimpered.

"I'm so…." I cut him off.

"Don't speak," I commanded, "do you know what I do to beautiful men who don't listen to what I tell them?" I asked and he shook his head my beast was rejoicing, "I fuck them hard and fast and I don't let them come until I say, do you understand?" He nodded again but I wanted to hear him this time, I wanted to know that he was with me 100%, "Answer me." He growled as I fisted his hair pulling his head back exposing his long slender neck.

"Yes, Carlisle, God yes I understand." He was panting but I knew it wasn't out of fear my mate loved it when I took control, I hadn't felt this feral in a long time though.

"Good." Now that that was out of the way my mouth descended onto his neck nipping and sucking as I ground my throbbing erection into his jean clad ass. I reached around to his front and popped the button on his jeans and snaked my hand inside, "commando, you are a dirty boy aren't you? Did you plan this?" I lightly bit his ear as my hand wrapped around his length.

"Not this per say." I chuckled as I started moving my hand over his steel shaft.

"Not this, but some variation of this?" I ran my thumb over the head and thrust my hips forward needing some friction myself as he groaned out and pathetic yes. I knew I wasn't going to be able to wait to claim him for long so I lowered his jeans just past his ass and used my hand that wasn't occupied to grab the lube that I had slipped into my jeans pocket for a 'just in case' moment such as this.

I removed my hand from the front of his pants and lubed up my fingers, my monster may want to come out and play but I wasn't going to let him hurt my mate. I made quick work of preparing him slipping first one finger in, then two, thrusting them in and out of his tight ass. I used my free hand to lower the final barrier between my cock and its home before removing my fingers from Jasper.

He whined out at the loss of contact as I poured more lube into my hands and stroked my painful hard-on.

"Remember you don't come until I tell you to." I quickly slapped his ass and with one forceful thrust sheathed myself fully into him. He cried out softly as I gave him no time to adjust, he didn't really need it after two plus years of being together, and I set a rough fast pace.

"Do you know….how….fuck….close I came….to ripping….that shit head….apart." I growled out between thrusts. "Seeing another man touch you…..damn it….drove me to the point of insanity." I latched my mouth onto his neck again sucking hard.

"Shit….Car….so sorry, damn it, please….touch me." I knew he need more but I wasn't ready for him to come yet.

"No, I don't think you have learned your lesson yet." I continued to pound into him neither of us talking just our grunts and the sounds of our skin slapping together echoed through the alley. When I felt the coil tighten in my stomach I reached my hand around and grasped onto Jaspers leaking cock pumping it in time with my thrusts.

"Will you ever let another man touch you?" I asked him.

"No, never." He breathed out.

"Whose. Ass. Is. This?" I punctuated each word with a forceful thrust.

"God, your's only….fuck…your's, ever only your's….please Car, please." I knew he needed to come and I was about to loss it myself. I picked up the pace and rolled my hips making sure to hit his sweet spot with each push.

"Don't ever fucking forget it," I grabbed his hair again yanking his head back, "Cum for me now!" I cried as I covered his mouth with mine swallowing his scream as he came hard all over the wall him front of him. Two more quick thrusts and I was shooting my load into his tight ass. I wrapped my arms around his chest as we panted trying to regulate our breathing and get our heads back together.

It took a bit for us to collect ourselves but when I pulled out of him I felt the loss of the connection immediately. No matter what type of sex we have, slow and sensual, fast and erotic, possessive and animalistic, when the connection is severed its always disheartening.

Jasper adjusted himself in his jeans and turned to face me wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me into a kiss. It was sweet and slow and amazing. Sometimes alls it took was a simple kiss to remind me that he was mine.

"I love you Carlisle, and I never meant to make you angry tonight." He leaned his forehead against mine.

"I know and I wasn't angry at you, I mean I wish you hand punched him or slapped him or something, but I understand you didn't want to cause a scene, it just shook the beast up is all, I didn't hurt you did I?" We had done this before, rough and fast sex, but I always had to make sure I didn't push him past his limits. I never wanted to be compared to James. I saw the sexy ass smirk ghost across his lips before he answered.

"If I told you that you did would you kiss it and make it better for me?" I pulled back and noticed his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Play your cards right and I might do more then just kiss it!" I winked at him and he groaned. "Come on baby let's get back, we are heading out to Texas tomorrow." I buttoned myself up and threw my arms around his waist as we headed back to the hotel.

"Car, I was thinking," he looked at me unsure and I kissed his temple in assurance, "well maybe we shouldn't go to Texas. I mean what if we run into Maria, we didn't part on the best terms, what if something happens?" I knew that running into her was a concern for him but I also knew it went deeper then that. I had had my closer when we went to London, while where I lived was no longer there, I was able to actually pull some human memories from just being in the area. I wanted that for Jasper if at all possible, he however was afraid of what those memories might entail.

"I don't think she will be a problem. The southern wars have died out more in the last few decades, and I think you going back to your roots will be good for you. Maybe it will help you to replace some of the bad memories of Texas with good ones." All he really remembered about Texas was the fighting. I was hoping we could unlock something that would be happier, and if not maybe replace it with some new ones that were better.

"I know, I am just nervous."

"I know you are, but we will do it together, just like everything else." I kissed him softly just as we reached the hotel entrance.

"You're right. As long as you are there I can face any demons my past may throw at me, I love you." He pulled me into an embrace holding onto me for a long time before we entered the hotel.

"I love you to baby." I reminded him. "How about we head out tonight, nothing keeping us here, let's move on." I suddenly wanted nothing more then to be on the road again. He just smiled at me and nodded.

"Sure, you go check us out and I will grab our stuff." We went into the hotel and I made my way to the counter as he went to the elevators.

Twenty minutes later we were in the car and headed out of Louisiana.

"Next stop Texas!"

* * *

**A/N: I hoped you like it! I know my preview showed the reunion but it just didn't fit with chapter like I wanted so next chapter should have it. As always reviews get previews! Thanks to everyone who has added this story and who has review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello everyone! I know you hate these and I hate to do it, but I just wanted to let you know that I am not abandoning this story. I have the next chapter played out in my head I just have to get it on paper. That being said I just had surgery on Monday and am finding it hard to focus on writing with all the pain meds pumping into my system. Hopefully in the next few days I will be off the pain meds and the fog in my mind will start to clear. I have 3 more weeks off work so I should be able to churn out a chapter or two in that time.**

**I am sorry I didn't post before, but I moved 2 weeks ago and trying to get everything settled and together with moving and preparing for this life changing surgery was a lot to handle. I had Gastric Bypass cause I'm fat, hell I admit it, and I have lost 30 pounds in the last week and a half, go Beki!**

******But please don't fret I will be finishing this story, just please bear with me and be **patient with. I am not a professional author so sometimes life does get in the way, thank you all for your support thus far, and don't worry soon there will be more Jasper/Carlisle loving!

**Thanks Bekins**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: OMG I am so sorry everyone it took so long for this. First I suffered major writers block then I moved then I had surgery so it was a bit crazy. Then when I finished it my poor Beta Jaspered01 who rocks ended up getting the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH on her computer so shit happens and I am sorry but thank you all for your reviews and patience.**

**Also several people have asked and my surgery went amazing, I had gastric bypass, I'm a fatty don't judge lol, I have lost 40 pounds in the last 4 weeks and feel great, thank you all for your support and encouragement!**

**So on with the chapter I hope you like!**

**JasperPOV:**

Sitting in the passenger seat of the rental car I looked out the window watching the swamps of Louisiana fade away into the dry heat of Texas. I hadn't been back here since I left with Peter and Charlotte almost a hundred years ago. It was an odd feeling. We decided to head south down the coast line to Galveston first. That was after all where my life ended, it felt right starting at the end.

"Hon, I wanted to talk to you about something." Carlisle roused me from my musings. He looked decidedly nervous which was very different then the man from last night. I smirked as I thought of him taking me against he brick wall in the alley. Damn that was hot. I could feel myself becoming hard at the memory, "Babe, hello? You with me here?" I shook my head and peered over at the man in the drivers seat smirking.

"Yeah, sorry just got distracted for a minute." I cleared my throat, "what, ahh, what did you want to talk about?" His nervousness was feeding mine and I had to try to focus on staying calm.

"Well you know that I am not ashamed of our relationship in anyway. But this is your home "turf" so to speak, and I know that Texas isn't exactly open minded when it comes to our type of relationship." He paused for few moments to collect his thoughts before continuing. "If you want to keep it low key, you know no touching in public, no kissing, just platonic, well I understand. We are here for you and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He sighed as he finished and stared intently at the road.

I thought about it for a moment. Did I want to hide the fact that I finally had the man I had been waiting for, for almost 60 years from anyone? No. Not even narrow minded bigots that come from this state were going to make me keep my hands off my mate. What would they do to us, tar and feather? Ha, like they could catch us. Laugh at us and call us names? Hell I've had worse happen. To me the consequences of showing affection in public did not out weigh the bonuses of it.

I reached my hand across the consol of the car and took his in mine. I was then hit with an idea. Maybe he wasn't comfortable around people who weren't comfortable with us? I mean we spent most of our time in Europe which is very open minded. So maybe this is his insecurities playing out here.

"Car, I don't care what other people think of me. I have been waiting to be with you for 60 years," he went to interrupt me but I stopped him with a pointed look, "I know I said I wouldn't bring it up but you have to understand, I want to be with you, in public, in private, anywhere we are I want to be with you. I don't want to hide like I have had to, I want everyone to know that you are mine and I'm yours." I turned in my seat so I could get a look at him, God he really was stunning. "The real question Car is, are you comfortable being out with me?" I asked a little indignantly. I saw his brow furrow and then got hit with a wave of anger. Ok not what I expected, shit. He roughly pulled his hand from mine and pulled over to the side of the road.

He didn't say anything, he just sat there seething silently for what felt like ages. After a bit he open the car door and got out and started pacing back and forth. I slowly got out and leaned against the car just watching him waiting for his next move.

After about ten minutes he finally broke the silence and turned to face me.

"What have I done?" He asked me but I didn't understand what he was asking. What did he mean 'What had he done?' He hadn't done anything.

"Car, I don't understand." I shook my head perplexed as to what was happening.

"I mean you still seem to doubt that I am ok with our being together, and out in public. So I am wondering what I have done to put that seed of doubt in your mind?" Well damn I didn't think of that. Truth was he didn't do anything. I think its more in my head that has a hard time believing he is actually ok with this and everything that goes with it.

"Shit, Car, that's not what I meant." I try to go over to him and wrap him in my arms but he moves away from me. I hang my head in defeat and move back over to lean on the car once more.

"What do you mean then Jasper, because I am really starting to get tired of having to constantly reassure you. I love you, I want to be with you, I want all of you. How have I possibly not been clear on that?" He started pacing again. "Was it when I let you get me off in the fucking Museum? Or how about the time I gave you a damn blow job in that fucking elevator? How about the quickie in the bathroom at the airport? Oh, no I know, it was when I nearly killed a man for touching you then fucked you against a building! That must be it." He stops pacing and actually plops down on the ground in the most undignified manner possible. His knees are bent and his arms resting on them palms up as if admitting defeat.

I had made a right mess of this. He was only trying to make sure that I was comfortable and now I caused him to think that I doubted his commitment to us, to _me_. How the hell was I going to fix it. I had no idea, but I was pretty sure groveling would be in order.

I move in front of him and drop to my knees so I am level with him.

"Car, you honestly have been nothing but amazing. It's my fault. My head, it still sometimes just can't believe that you are here with me, and ok with it all. I had years to get used to the idea of being out and gay in society and I know all the ridicule that sometimes goes with it, even in this day and age. I have had time to prepare for it, you haven't. I wasn't asking you because I doubted your commitment to me. I always told you I would be ok hiding and only being open when you were comfortable with it, just like in the beginning you told me you might never be able to be open in public." It was kind of shitty for me to throw that back on him when he made such huge strides in the PDA department, but it was something he had told me the day we had our first date and it would always be in my head. I placed my hands over his and moved closer so that I was between his bent knees somewhat looking down on him but his eyes never met mine.

"I don't doubt your love for me, or your devotion. I may have doubts about your willingness to except the criticism and taunting of others. You have always been the well respected and renowned Doctor Carlisle Cullen, this is all new and you haven't had nearly the adjustment period that I have. Up until now we have had a few sideways glances, but Texas is a whole other ball game baby, I just want to make sure you're as ready for it as I am." I heard him sigh again and figured I still had some ground to make up but was surprised when he finally raised his eyes to meet mine.

"I'm sorry. You're right actually. This whole out and proud thing is new to me and even though I am confident in my love for you and wanting to be with you I do still have a hard time with the idea of public affection. Well the simple stuff anyway, holding hands, light touches things like that. But I want to. I want to be with you in everyway. I never want to give you a reason to have to doubt me." My forehead fell forward and rested on his.

When would we ever both just be secure and comfortable in our relationship that we didn't constantly have to have these discussions?

"I don't know baby, but I think it will just take time and some action on my part." He answered what I thought was my thoughts but I guess I said it out loud.

"I said that out loud huh?" I chuckled and he joined me.

"Yes you did. But it's a valid question. It seems like one or the other of us is having issues with this. I think the only thing we can do is just keep working through it and talk it out. I am sorry I got angry. Your question was just as valid as mine." He turned his face up and captured my lips with his. His taste was overwhelming and I moaned leaning myself into him further between his legs. Pushing him down so he was laying with me now flush on top of him our mouths worked together the lust building to the point where I was going to take him here on the side of the road.

I was about to work his shirt off him when I was pulled out of my lust induced haze by a blaring horn.

"GET A ROOM!" A voice yelled from the road as they sped by and I felt Carlisle chuckle under me. I was thankful that they didn't add any derogatory sentiments to that statement and felt the lust start to retreat to a more manageable level.

"We should go if you want to explore the town today at all." He leaned up and pecked me on the lips before I got off him and held my hand out to help him up. Not that he really needed the help but it was the gesture that counted.

"Alright let's blow this popsicle stand!" One final kiss and we were back in the car headed to the place that started the end of my life.

We arrived in Galveston a few hours later and the usually sleepy town was alive with activity. I was concerned about us being noticed but the weather channel called for overcast skies all day. As a precaution we donned our cowboy hats and long sleeve thermals, sure that might look odd in the Texas heat but people would question that less then our sparkly asses.

"You ready to explore?" Carlisle asked me as we exited the car.

"Yes, it's weird being back here, obviously nothing is the same. Last time the city was devastated by war, buildings were crumbling, screams were everywhere. Now," I was cut of by a loud boom in the distance.

"What the hell was that?" Carlisle looked a bit concerned, but to me the sound was oddly familiar. I was trying to place it but the memory was fuzzy meaning it must be a memory from my human life.

"I'm not entirely sure baby, lets go and find out." I made my way around the car and was shocked as hell when Carlisle reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. I really wanted to take this whole PDA thing at his pace.

"I'm not sure of anything other then the fact that I love you and don't really care who knows it." He beamed at me and I couldn't help the happiness that flooded my body and the smile that lit my face I was sure was the size of Texas itself.

We started heading in the direction the boom came from and it was coming from the area I knew to be the old battlefield. I was curious as to what had been going on and honestly couldn't believe my eyes the second we hit the top of the small hill we had been climbing.

The hill over looked the battlefield which was very close to the beach, it was a port area after all. The whole point of the Battle of Galveston was for the Union army to cut off our importing of supplies. Most people are unaware that there were actually two battles for the Port of Galveston. The first battle was the one that I was in. The city was nearly destroyed with all the women, children, and immigrant occupants still inside. A young Major was able to negotiate a four day cease fire in order to remove the occupants of the city to safety. The Union army then took control of the port.

Three months later the Rebels moved back in on the city and this time were able to take back control of the Port, and Galveston remained in Confederate control through the whole of the war. The battle's weren't big ones but there was massive explosions and a considerable about of deaths so they worth remembering.

Looking over the port now it was like stepping back in time. I was flooded with memories of blood and carnage all around me. Men and women being pummeled by mortar fire from the Union ships, children screaming, it was total chaos. I could feel myself losing it.

This was a bad idea a very, very bad idea. Why did I ever think coming back here would be helpful? I felt dread building up in the pit of my stomach and could do nothing to quell it as I surveyed the carnage on the field before me. I can't believe this is happening I had no idea they still did this kind of stuff. I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts by a voice in the distance.

"Major Whitlock, we have an assignment for you." I froze in place, very bad indeed.

I was looking around frantically. There was no way someone here could have recognized me. But it was like I was teleported back in time. The grey uniforms, the boom of the cannons, even the smell of the sea, all served to transport me back to 1863 and the last operation I would ever take part of as a human.

Just as I was about to answer the commanding officer a young man about 4 inches shorter then me and much less stocky came rushing forward.

"Yes Colonel?" said the man who was apparently suppose to be me. He saluting the officer waiting for the assignment. I had to blink a few times. What the hell was going on. It was only then that I noticed someone to the side of me trying to get my attention.

"Jasper, Jasper, relax. It's just a reenactment. It's not real." The voice was soothing and low and I could feel the fog lifting. I turned to look at him and could see the question in his eyes. I moved forward and he wrapped his arms around me.

"They are reenacting the last few hours of my life here Carlisle." I whispered lowly so only he would be able to hear. Before he could answer a voice filtered over the loud speaker.

"_Major Jasper Whitlock was a decorated Confederate soldier who quickly rose through the ranks of the Confederate army. To this day he remains the youngest person to ever be given the rank of Major. Joining the army at the age of 17, his charismatic personality instantly made people want to follow him, and his leadership and negotiation skills were a vital part of the Battle for Port Galveston. He was charged with the task of evacuating the civilians from the city to safety. Shortly after the city had been cleared Major Whitlock went missing in action. He was presumed dead. No body was ever found of this brave young soldier."_

The voice then continued to read off the names and short histories of other important players in this particular battle but I had tuned out.

"Jasper that's amazing. You were such an intricate part of the victory here. Even if you don't see it. That's amazing baby, you are remembered and thought of that's as much as any of us can hope for, and you achieved it. You helped to change the course of history. So brave and strong, selfless. That's something to be proud of baby." His voice held a sense of awe and wonder and I loved him even more for it.

He is probably the person I admire the most in the world. His accomplishments since being turned have inspired so many. His control, his compassion, intelligence, and acceptance, his ability to overcome so much pain, has made him pretty much my hero. Now here he was telling me how much I have achieved and changed history when all I have ever wanted to do was strive to be more like him. It was overwhelming, and it helped me to see us more as equals then ever before.

"Thank you so much. It means so much to me that you think I did something worth while with my life. You have always been the pinnacle of what I want to be, but to hear that I at least did something right, just makes me feel a little more worthy of you." I buried my face in his chest and breathed in his comforting scent.

"Jasper, I never wanted you to feel that you had to be 'worthy' of me. You are my mate and I love you as an equal, outside of the bedroom," he chuckled at that and I couldn't help but join him, he was definitely in control in the bedroom, "but I have never felt like you were beneath me. What you have accomplished switching to this lifestyle after so many years of the traditional diet, it's amazing. Maybe it's my fault you feel this way. I don't tell you enough how proud I am of you and how far you have come." I looked into his face and the shear love, devotion, and pride that shown back was tangible.

"Thank you." I whispered out. It was all my brain could think to say I was so overwhelmed. I had no idea he ever thought that I had achieved anything in this lifestyle. Out of all of us I still struggle the most. But I haven't had a slip up in decades so I guess that was an accomplishment.

"How about we move on from here. Don't want you accidentally answering when someone calls for Major Whitlock again do we." There was humor there and playfulness and I loved it. His ability to distract me was amazing.

We walked back to the car with me tucked securely into Carlisle's side. I loved being this close to him. I felt loved and cherished which is something that I have never felt before. Of course I felt love from my family but this was so different. To have someone cherish you, to be the center of someone else's world, to be the reason for their existence is quite the heady thing.

We decided to head north and deeper into Texas. I didn't remember much from my human life, like the town I came from (accept that it was near Houston) or if I had siblings, things like that were not what I focused on once I awoke to this life. I was mostly concerned with surviving, and blood and the only way to keep hold of your human memories is to think about them while they are still fresh after your turn. I will forever regret that I wasn't able to retain the information.

I was a bit on edge being in Texas again. Over the years I had not heard or kept track of Maria and what she was up to. So I had no way of knowing if she was still alive, or if the vampire wars were still raging.

"Don't worry, Texas is a big state I am sure we won't run into any problems." Car kissed the back of the hand he was holding gently before turning back to the road. How did he always know?

"Thanks, we should probably hunt before we hit the next city. It's been a few days." I could feel the ache in my throat starting to worsen and knew it would be safer for all involved if I fed now.

"Good idea, let's see if we can find a good place." We drove for another forty-five minutes until we found an old logging road that was out of commission and lead deep into the forest. There weren't always a lot of wooded areas in Texas so when we found one we had to make good use of it.

"Come one baby lets get you fed, then maybe we could have a little fun." Carlisle teased as he winked and took off into the cover of the trees.

I quickly ran after him catching his scent and following it. I paused when I saw him fly through the air and land in front of a herd of deer quickly snapping ones neck before sinking his teeth in. The grace and flawless actions of his hunt did things to me and I was suddenly hungry for more then just blood. I was hungry for him and wanted to devour him now.

"Are you not going to partake?" He questioned when he finished his meal, tossing it to the side.

"Oh, I'm going to partake, I just think something else is on the menu beside deer, dear." I saw his eyes go black and was hit with his lust as a shiver went through his body.

I stalked forward eyeing my prey and calculating the best course of attack. When I was about five feet from him I darted away leaving a confused Carlisle in my wake.

"Hey, I thought you wanted to devour me?" He questioned as he whipped around trying to pinpoint where I ran.

"Oh, I do…." I chuckled from up the tree I climbed, "but I like playing with my food, you know this." I jumped to another tree silently so he wouldn't be able to tell where I was in relation to him. I was actually to his back and he was walking in the opposite direction. I stalk him in the tress making sure to stay down wind.

"Jasper, you have no idea what I want you to do to me," he starts and I know he is bating me trying to get me to cave and end the game I have started, "I want to feel your mouth around my aching cock, licking, sucking, taking me all the way down your throat." I almost groan out but catch myself lest I give away my position.

"I want to taste you at the same time you are taking me," he snickers, "you know that's something we've never done before, you want to try that baby?" I so badly want to answer him, my cock was throbbing in anticipation, but I was never one to give up the game easily and showing myself now would mean he won and we just couldn't have that.

"Don't you want to come out and so I can fuck that amazing mouth of your's." Oh shit that did it, my resolve slipped and I growled lowly and jumped from my tree and onto his back, pressing a kiss into his throat.

"You are going regret making me give up my game so easily." I hiss at him.

"It's not my fault you can't seem to control yourself at the thought of me violating your perfect mouth." God even when I was suppose to be in control he was a cocky bastard, and I loved it.

In a swift move I flip over his back so I am standing in front of him I pushed him so he fell back on the ground and moved to sit on his chest.

"No here is how this is going to go, I'm going to shove something in your mouth and your going to swallow it like the good boy that you are, understood?" I didn't give him time to answer the lust that hit me was confirmation enough for me. I quickly lowered my zipper and released my pulsing cock.

With in seconds I was surrounded by the warm wet heaven that is Carlisle's mouth and I couldn't help but thrust my hips.

"Oh, shit that's fucking amazing." The sensations were incredible, I leaned forward a bit and started thrusting my hips harder into his mouth forcing him to deep throat me. It was a good thing that we didn't have gag reflexes or I fear he would have vomited all over me with the force I was using to fuck his mouth.

"FUCK, shit….Car, so hot." I was really finding my rhythm when I felt him grab my hips to still my movements and release me from his mouth.

"What, why did you stop?" I was pissed and frustrated I was really close damn it.

"I told you I want you to do it together." He stated simply and in one swift movement had me flipped so my face was right on top of his cock and I was on all fours hovering over his mouth.

I quickly lowered the zipper on his pants and pushing them down a bit. His monster cock popped out to greet me, like it was happy to see me, and why wouldn't it be.

"Well hello beautiful." I whispered reverently to one of my favorite of Carlisle's appendages. I heard him chuckle lowly and felt his cool breath on my dick which was used to the semi-warmth of his mouth twitched at the new sensation.

"Talking to it aint going to get me off babe so get to sucking." With that I was enveloped in his wet mouth again. I took a few moments to savor the feeling before languidly swirling my tongue around his engorged head before taking him fully in my mouth.

The duel sensations that we were creating was mind blowing. The only thing that I didn't like about this was that I couldn't see him or hear him, which was one of my favorite things about being together. He was always a very vocal lover.

I had a good rhythm going again and it matched the one Car had set, it felt fan-fucking-tastic and it was all I could do not to come like a 14 year old seeing his first porno. I hummed in appreciation around his cock sending the vibrations through him which cause him to moan around me. My eyes practically rolled back in my head as I was overcome with the ecstasy.

I was so close to the edge, I was right there, but I needed something to push me over. I suddenly felt a cool finger circle my puckered hole gently and pushed my hips back trying to get more. The finger breached my hole and began pumping in and out slowly. Before I could register the new sensation the finger in me swirled around brushing across my prostate.

That did it, that was all it took, no warning could be given as I crashed over the cliff and into the sweet abyss of pleasure. I rode wave after wave of my orgasm as Car took all I had to give.

Once I finally stated coming out of my blissful fog I was now aware that I had neglected to continue my ministrations on him and set out to rectify that immediately once again engulfing in my mouth.

I didn't have access to his ass because I was on top so I double my efforts on his cock and moved my free hand to massage his balls gently. His hips stated thrusting up to meet my mouth as I slid a finger lower to massage his perineum.

"Jasper, shit going to….." He didn't have time to finish as I applied more pressure to both his cock and perineum sending him flying into the abyss as well. His body arched off the ground as hot streams of his nectar hit the back of my throat. I swallowed quickly not wanting to miss a drop.

Once he was drained dry I fell off him to the side breathing heavy and basking in the post coital bliss. If I hadn't been so blitzed out I may have noticed the three unfamiliar scents, but it wasn't until I heard the clapping did I realize we now had an audience an all to familiar one.

Car and I quickly made it to our feet in a defensive position next to each other.

"That, That was just, WOW! HOT as HELL!" The first intruder spoke and I hissed as another form entered the area. There were two but I knew that another was still here somewhere.

"Where is she!" I demanded and sent out waves of fear and compliance. They were about to speak when a voice lilted through the area.

"Oh Jasper, always so dramatic. I'm right here lover." The owner of the voice was beside her two minions in the blink of an eye.

"Maria." I said in acknowledgement and Carlisle growled lowly at the name.

"Dear Jasper, how I have missed you. What brings you to my neck of the woods and what on earth is wrong with your eyes?" Maria the one responsible for turning me into the monster, and I don't mean just turning me into a vampire. She turned me into fighting, killing machine who bent to her every whim. But I was stronger now, I wouldn't ever let her manipulate me again.

"My mate and I were just passing through we will be out of your way immediately." I was hoping and praying she would just let us go, but I knew in my cold dead heart it wouldn't be that easy. I could feel her emotions, she wanted me back for her army, and she wanted Carlisle for her bed. The lust she was radiating towards him was killing me.

I grabbed Car's hand and made a move to leave only to be faced with the two unknown vampires blocking my way.

"Jasper you really don't want to fight me. Just come back and I promise you can play with your mate on occasion. You know the only thing you have ever been good at is fighting, why try to be something your not." I dropped Car's hand and spun around to face her snarling at her.

"You know nothing about me! I will never join you again, and are you really willing to lose these two you have with you today? I have trained my mate to fight just as well as any soldier the three of you against us are no match!" I hissed in her face and grabbed her by the throat. I could end her right now and was about to until I heard another growl.

I turned to see what was happening and instantly dropped the wicked witch of the south to the ground. Her two companions were circling Carlisle.

"Touch him and I will dance on your ashes!" I bellowed at them.

I knew Carlisle was a decent fighter I had taught him myself, but I didn't like the idea of him taking on two highly trained foot soldiers. I quickly made my way to my mate and crouched low in front of him.

I didn't want to fight. I wanted to leave peacefully but if they kept threatening my mate they were quickly going to call down the wrath of the God of War. One of the two closed in on us and went to swipe at Carlisle and I lost it quickly I pounced and had him in a head lock before he knew what happened.

"Maria it seems as if whoever is training these new soldiers of your's isn't doing a very good job! Predictable and slow." I squeeze his head and was about to remove it from his body when I hear a chuckle.

"Your are correct, Saul has not the experience nor expertise that you had. I will make you a deal let dear Javier there go, I am fond of him after all, and you will be free to leave." I was shocked as hell but then got a dose of her emotions and felt the mischief, resolve, and again pure evil radiating off of her.

I wasn't sure what to make of it and didn't immediately let up on poor Javier. Then it hit me.

"My mate and I will be free to leave if I let Javier here go, that's what you meant to say correct?" I realized she only said I would have been free to leave. I wasn't a moron I knew all her little tricks and wasn't about to fall for it.

"But of course Major, I would never try to deprive you of what is rightfully yours, like I am sure you would never try to do to me." I snorted and let Javier go pushing him into he body of the other vampire who was apparently inconsequential as to have not been introduced.

"I was never your's Maria. You used me and manipulated me. It won't happen again." I seethed out as I backed up keeping Carlisle behind me and holding tight to his hand.

"I'll be seeing you soon lover." She called out and I stopped dead in my tracts.

"The fucking hell you will HELL BITCH!" I screamed out.

"Jasper you really should reign in that temper, your are scaring you very passive mate." She replied coolly. She knows something and I need to find out what it is.

"Car, stay behind me." I commanded my voice leaving no room for argument.

"What the fuck do you know?" I asked her lowly sending out a wave of fear.

"Everyone knows about the great Carlisle Cullen, founder of the vegetarian coven. Although I never would have imagined you would turn into one of them. You've changed your weak. I will correct that once I get you back." Shit that was not good. She would be able to find us so much easier if she knew actual details about our family, which she obviously did.

"You just said we could go, what the hell are you playing at? I will never join you and the only way you are getting my mate is over my pile of ashes!" I was losing my patience quickly but I really wanted to avoid Carlisle seeing me in full out kill mode.

"I said you can leave, I never said that I wouldn't come after you. I may have picked up a few new talents over the years to join the ranks. So run along, but just watch your back because when I come for you, and I will, hell is coming with me!" With that she turned and retreated.

Not wanting to wait around to see if she came back with reinforcements I turned and pulled Car along with me running as quickly as we could back to the car. I pushed him into the passenger seat and in the blink of an eye was in the drivers seat tearing out of the area and on the way out of Texas.

"Jasper." I heard my name being called but couldn't pull myself out of the zone I was in.

"Jasper, baby, please come back." I felt a finger caress my cheek and growled lowly. Whoever this was should know better then to touch the God of War. But there was something comforting and familial in this touch and slowly the rage was lifting.

"Jas, come on were safe, she's not a threat now, please, please baby snap out of it." That voice, I knew it, my mate, my lover, Carlisle.

I turned to look at him and could see the worry and love shinning in his eyes. It had been decades since I had gone into Major mode, even when I was being attacked my James I hadn't fallen back into the role. But when my mate was threatened it's amazing how quickly he resurfaced. That wasn't even full on Major mode that was like a teeny tiny glimpse of the Major, if Maria and her 'army' ever did come for us you bet you ass that you will see full on God of War, and something told me that might not be to far fetched.

She mentioned new talent. Did she along the way obtain some form of tracker? Or future seer? The possibilities were endless and all of them not very promising that we had seen the last of her now that she knew I was alive.

"Jasper, please you're projecting. I know you are worried but it will be ok, please just come back." He took my hand and squeezed as he finally fog lifted and I breathed in a sigh.

"Shit, Car I am so sorry. We never should have come back to Texas. I never even thought we could run into her. God DAMN IT!" I punched the steering where causing it to bend under the pressure.

"Jasper you need to calm down, everything will be fine." How could he think that. If Maria did come we were down three people in the family and two of them were the best fighters.

"Carlisle do you understand the seriousness of the situation, honestly. Maria she is an evil maniacal, crazy ass bitch. Now that she knows I'm alive she will stop at nothing to get me back. I felt it in her emotions. She won't give up." I was speeding down the highway intent on making the twenty-six odd hour drive back to Montana in as little time as possible. I believe that Emmett and Rose were there now, and we would need to call Bella and Edward to come back from Isle whatever soon. If there was a threat I didn't want to face it with out everyone present. Well almost everyone.

"I do understand that Jasper, but we will move again we will do whatever we have to do but she won't have you again. None of us will allow it." I sighed in relief a little as we passed the sign that said _Now leaving Texas_. I must have been in my stupor for longer then I thought.

"How long was I lost in my head?" I asked Car quietly.

"About six hours. You made good time." He laughed trying to lighten the mood and I felt myself chuckling next to him.

"We should call Emmett and Rose and let them know we are on our way, and Edward and Bella and tell them to get home." He immediately pulled his phone out and made the calls that needed to be made.

We drove mostly in silence making amazing time back to Montana. We had been gone for several years and I had to admit it was good to be back. This was the first place I ever felt at 'home'. It was the first place Carlisle and I were together as a couple, it was where my life finally started.

We pulled into the driveway and were instantly greeted by Rose and Emmett.

"Welcome home bro, I hear you brought a fight with you. Can't fucking wait!" Emmett boomed as he yanked me out of the car and into his signature bear hug.

"Yeah well I think you're the only one." I muttered as Emmett went to greet Carlisle and Rose stepped up.

"Don't worry brother, we got your back. This bitch hasn't faced the Cullen's before, she doesn't know what she's walking into." I appreciated there support but was terrified.

"Hey, we don't even know if she will actually try anything." Carlisle called out as he grabbed some of our luggage I went around to the trunk to help him.

"As much as I would like to believe that Car I just can't. You don't know her. Once she gets something in her head that's it, she will see it through with a single mindedness, almost to the point of reckless. It's quite disturbing." Her ability to see things through was one of the only traits I ever admired about her even if she didn't use it for good.

"Let's not think about it now. Let's just get settled back in shall we?" I knew I was pulling away from them all as I turned to enter the house. But I couldn't stop myself.

I knew that if I had to I would willingly go with her if it meant that rest of my family was left unscathed. I prayed that it didn't come to that. I wish we knew what Maria was planning.

_Oh Alice where are you when we need you?_

I thought in desperation.

* * *

Edward and Bella came home two days later but the house still felt horribly empty with out the bouncing pixie infiltrating every aspect of our lives. The traveling and time away had served as a great distraction. Now life was coming back at full force and there were noticeable things missing.

About a week after we got home I got a text from an unknown number, it simply read:

_Clearing, 10 mins. Bring the family._

I was perplexed. Was this a trap? Who would send this to me? Who outside of the family even had my number? Should I get the whole family and risk them? Shit I didn't know what to do.

My phone beeped again.

_Just do it!_

That really didn't help.

I had to at least give them the option so I called a quick family meeting.

"Jas, what's going on?" Rose asked as they all started to file in to the living room.

"I just got a text from an unknown number telling me to get the family and be at the clearing in ten minutes." I told them simply cutting right to the chase.

"So why are we sitting here instead of heading to the clearing?" Emmett of course ready to run right in with out any thought to the consequences.

"Well Emmett, we don't know who sent the text or if it could be a trap." I informed them.

"While it maybe a trap what other option do we have, I mean how would Maria even get your cell number?" Bella always using that brain. She was right Maria wasn't exactly plugged in to modern technology. So I could imagine how should we be able to obtain it.

"I honestly think that Emmett maybe right in this case, as much as it pains me to say it. We won't know unless we go." Carlisle shocking the hell out of all of us by actually agreeing to this. He never was one to be rash.

"Alright if we are going to go we better get to it." I concluded as we all made our way our of the house and into the clearing I hadn't seen since the day our family had been separated.

We made it with several minutes to spare and I took this opportunity to wrap my arms around Carlisle's waist pulling him into my side kissing his temple lightly.

"Do you smell that?" Edward asked.

I took a whiff and it smelled familiar but I still couldn't quite place it. Suddenly I noticed Edward break out in a huge smile and had a feeling that whoever it was we would be ok.

Before I had a chance to ask him about it I saw Jane and Alec enter the clearing. Shit why the fuck would Edward be happy about this. What the hell were they doing here? We hadn't done anything wrong. Had Maria some how convinced them to help her? No there was no way that would happen.

"Hello Cullen's." Jane spoke. Her voice didn't hold the normal malevolence. Alec just nodded in acknowledge. I was waiting for the rest of the guard to follow them out of the forest but no one came. This was not the way the they do this. I was utterly confused.

Carlisle taking over the role of leader again stepped forward and out of my arms. I didn't like that at all.

"Jane, Alec, Welcome. To what do we owe this visit?" Carlisle addressed them trying not to upset them in anyway. No one wanted to feel the wrath of Jane.

"We come baring news of your family." I instantly perked up at that.

"What news? If you did anything to them I will find a way to kill you, I swear to…." Before I could finish my threat a very familiar voice could be heard at the tree line.

"Oh Jazzy, calm down no one hurt us." I blinked a few times. I had to be dreaming, something had to have malfunctioned in my brain and I am the first vampire to go into a coma.

"Jasper you're not in a coma, she is really here." Edward whispered to me.

Before I could even comprehend what he had said a small blur crashed into my body hugging me tightly.

"Oh Jazzy, I missed you so much, you have no idea! Oh, and what a mess you have gotten yourself into. Don't you remember me telling you to stay away from Texas? I told you that like 50 years ago. I said 'don't ever go to Texas again' but you didn't listen and now well we can talk about that later. Oh you have to met my mate, wow so much has happened." I must have looked like a fish out of water cause my mouth was opening and closing but no words were coming out. "I'll let you absorb all this for a minute then come back." With that she flitted off to great the rest of the family.

"Hey bro, good to be home. You might want to close your mouth though don't know who might try and shove something in it on ya." My jaw snapped shut and I started dumbfounded at the face of one Peter Whitlock.

"Wh…how….when? What the hell is going on?" I asked him. Instead of answering me he just pulled me in for a hug.

"All in good time brother, first you have to met our mate." I cocked an eyebrow at him and was again trapped in my confusion. But once again was denied answered as I was encased in another hug. This one from Charlotte. I held onto her for a bit longer then Peter but not as long as Ali. God I missed them all so much.

"Ok, ok, I think that we should explain a few things before the Major here has a major melt down." Char always more sensitive then the others finally threw me a freaking bone.

"I think all of us could use some answers." Carlisle responded making his way back over to me and wrapping me securely in his arms as I tried to work all this out in my head.

I was thrilled that they were here, but what about these mates they talked about, and why were the witch twins with them? Was this just a visit and they had to go back? I couldn't figure it out and it was driving me nuts.

"Hey bro, give the hamster on the wheel a break, we will explain it." Peter said as he playfully mused my hair before going to stand next to Alec. What the hell.

"First I would like to say that I hope you all keep and open mind and heart as we explain this to you." Alice stated with a bit of concern edged on her face.

"Ali, you know no matter what you are still a part of this family and any mate you have chosen also. The same goes for Peter and Charlotte also." Carlisle ever the patriarch informed her and the rest of us just nodded in agreement.

"Ok, thank you, so first and foremost, this is not a temporary visit. We have fulfilled our obligation, sort of." she chuckled slightly at that as if it were some inside joke, and I was suddenly filled with jealousy and I wasn't sure why. "Secondly, I would like to introduce you all to my mate," she paused briefly taking a deep unneeded breath, "Jane."

I was astounded. Was she serious? She had never before mentioned having a preference for women. Why didn't I know this? We had been companions for decades and never once did she mention liking pussy! What the hell was going on here.

"Also, Char and I discovered the reason we were meant to go to Italy also. We had always felt like something was missing from our relationship, like we had a hole. While we loved each other completely we still had so much more to give. Well we found the person that fills that hole," again with the dramatic pause, "Alec here is the other part of our equation. We really hope you can all except this." Peter finished and was also looking a bit concerned.

What did they think we were going to ostracize them because the each had two mates? I always knew that they didn't feel 100% whole, I knew that they had experimented before. I also felt for quite sometime that there was another person that they were both suppose to be with. Did I ever think in a million years three of the most important people in my life would end up with two of the most important and lethal guard members? Hell no. Was I happy that they had all found their counterparts? Hell yes.

Now it would just be interesting to see where we all went from here. I have a feeling life will never be boring again.

* * *

**A/N: So there was the Major, just a bit, don't worry we will see more of him! More drama to come. Please review and get a preview! Thanks for reading.**


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